Chapter 373: Solving Problems
Saul scheduled the meeting with Jordan Belfort for the following week, as he had something more important to attend to that week: Howard's wedding.
However, the wedding was postponed due to a phone call.
"OMG! OMG! OMG!" Howard paced around Ron like a caged animal, making it impossible for Ron to concentrate on the business plan Saul had sent him: "They actually moved my launch date up! Can you believe it? I'm going to space on a Russian rocket!"
Howard had been selected by NASA as a payload specialist long ago, with plans to go to the International Space Station, but recently, the launch was halted due to a failed pressure test on the rocket he was scheduled to ride. Unexpectedly, NASA, in order to expedite his mission, actually arranged a seat on a Russian Soyuz.
This made the young Jewish engineer, who was preparing for his wedding, extremely anxious.
"Calm down, Howard, calm down." Ron reluctantly put down the proposal he was reading. "If you're worried about the wedding, I believe Bernadette will understand and agree to wait until you return from space."
"No! That's not what I'm worried about. Okay, I admit it, I'm actually terrified of going to space. I'm worried about whether I'll make it back alive! Those are rockets built during the Soviet era!"
Howard collapsed weakly next to Ron, looking small and helpless. "Ron, do you have any way to make sure I don't have to go to space?"
"Of course," Ron slammed his revolver on the table. "Just shoot yourself in the foot with this, and I guarantee NASA won't make you go to space."
The gun finally shut Howard up. Ron knew that Howard definitely didn't have the guts to shoot himself in the foot.
But before Ron could even retrieve the proposal from under Howard's butt and read a couple of pages, Leonard and Sheldon walked in together, sat down next to Ron with dejected expressions, and looked at him expectantly.
Sheldon, in particular, deliberately sat in his spot on the couch where Ron was sitting, squeezing Ron aside and staring at him pitifully, just like the expression he had when he had an accident at age five.
And most importantly, Sheldon was far less adorable now than he was back then.
"Okay, I can tell you're both troubled. Can you tell me what happened? Maybe I can help." Ron could only helplessly set down his proposal again.
Sheldon spoke first: "Ron, can I ask you a question about women?"
"Didn't we get you that book called 'Everything You Need to Know About Relationships' last year? Wasn't it comprehensive enough?" Ron asked, surprised. Sheldon having woman troubles? That was rich!
"No, it's just that Amy and I have some relationship issues. By the way, I've been having nightmares ever since I read that book."
"Penny and I have also been having a lot of problems lately. Maybe this will make you feel better." Leonard patted Sheldon's arm reassuringly, only to be met with a disdainful glare.
Ron rolled his eyes. Okay, now I'm Dear Abby.
"Alright, let's take it one question at a time, starting with the easier one. Leonard, I just overheard Penny venting about your situation," Leonard, whose name was called by Ron, sat up straight.
"I think Penny's right. Proposing during sex is really a terrible idea. Think about it, where are you going to hide the ring when you're both naked? No matter where you hide it, I doubt any woman would want to put it on immediately after finding it there."
"Besides, Penny didn't dump you because of this, which I think is major progress compared to last time. Maybe you can wait and try it again in a more conventional setting."
"Okay, I'll try next time." Leonard agreed sheepishly, actually feeling a little encouraged after Ron's advice. Ron shook his head; this guy's hopeless romanticism was incurable.
"Next is you, Sheldon," Ron gestured for Sheldon to shut up before he could speak, "I bet the reason you're upset is because Amy has been trying so hard to please you lately, making you a little uncomfortable, and you even find yourself thinking about her occasionally when she's not around?"
"How did you know?! I haven't said anything yet." Sheldon exclaimed in surprise.
"Please, Sheldon, don't forget, I'm a federal agent. If I need to be told everything, I might as well go back to East Texas and sell insurance with Georgie." Ron shrugged.
"Actually, I also know that she made you work as a conductor on the train ride today, and you even got to blow the whistle, right? This level of intelligence gathering doesn't require me to ask—it just shows up in my inbox daily."
Ron showed Sheldon his phone, revealing an encrypted number constantly messaging him, reporting Sheldon's every move, even the gist of his conversations with Amy.
Here, he had to give credit to Ron's new asset, Christian. This wasn't just a two-for-one deal, it was a four-for-one! Behind Christian, there was also a genius hacker, almost on par with Felicity, whom Ron had recruited. Sheldon's phone had long been completely compromised by her.
Sheldon glared at Ron, but Ron shrugged nonchalantly: "Don't worry, this is just routine protective surveillance. You know, your intellect is one of this nation's most valuable assets."
Ron, understanding Sheldon like a book, immediately turned Sheldon's anger into pride with just one sentence.
Ron thought smugly: What kind of handler would I be if I couldn't read you like the Sunday comics?
"By the way, do you usually think of Amy before bed or while taking a shower?"
"Absolutely not!" Sheldon said indignantly, "Could you please stop referencing that book of depravity?"
"Then when?"
"For example, this morning, I was calculating the quantum fluctuations of virtual particles under vacuum conditions, and suddenly, those virtual particles morphed into Amy's dandruff... slowly cascading down from her head and landing on her pale, bony shoulders."
Sheldon sighed, "Oh, what kind of spell did that witch cast on me, Ron? What should I do?"
Ron, of course, knew that this special emotion was called love. Sheldon, who had always considered himself purely rational, had finally opened his heart. To put it simply, he was falling for her.
"Of course, just go with it. It's like throwing someone who can't swim into the deep end; they'll quickly adapt and learn to stay afloat. Given enough time, you'll adjust, and then return to normal and continue doing what you want to do,"
Ron said with a knowing grin, adding in his mind: That way, Mary will probably be a grandmother sooner rather than later, right?
(End of Chapter)
[Goal Tracker]
PS 500 → 1 Bonus Chapter
Reviews 10 → 1 Bonus Chapter
If you enjoyed it, consider a review.
P1treon Soulforger has 80+advance chapters