01
CHAPTER 1
IN THE END, WE ONLY REMEMBER THE THINGS WE NEVER MANAGED TO SAY.
ARI
"Ari, don't you know who I am?" that mysterious voice asked me, but I kept my hands on my head, overwhelmed by a sharp pain.
"What did you give me?" I asked, trying to stay on my feet and press my hands against the wall.
I let out a groan of pain. I had never felt this bad before. Soon, I looked at my hands.
Damn it.
This has to be a joke. Blood was gushing from them, and I began shaking my head.
It's not real, it's not real, it's not real.
I lifted my head from the bench to look out the window. It was still raining, and lightning reflected across the sky. I was waiting for it to calm down.
My phone buzzed with notifications.
Dad: Stay there at least until the storm ends. I'll come get you when it's over.
I replied that I agreed and slipped my phone back into my backpack.
"Are they coming for you?" Jeff's voice startled me. I looked toward the door and saw him smiling. I nodded, and he set the bottle he was holding on my bench. "Here, you need it more than I do."
I opened the bottle and took a sip. I was exhausted enough not to argue with him. To be honest, he wasn't wrong. My physical appearance had been neglected these past few days.
The dreams won't stop, and I truly try to forget them. Sometimes they're so realistic that I can't tell whether it's a dream or reality.
What do dreams mean?
I can't say Liam has anything to do with it. They started long before I met him, and afterward… well, they continued, but nothing ever happened the way it did in the dreams.
"They'll come later. They want to wait for it to calm down," I said as I turned my gaze back to the window, feeling Jeff's hand rest on my shoulder.
"Are you still thinking about your dreams?" he asked.
I nodded. He sighed and pulled a chair closer, placing his hands on my bench.
"It was a day like this," I told him. I stood up to avoid him and headed toward the door. "I already know what you're going to say."
I walked out of the classroom. I heard the chair scrape as he followed me into the hallway. At least he listens to me; the others look at me as if I'm losing my mind. Some with pity, and my parents telling me to stop thinking about it because I'll get sick. If only they disappeared, it wouldn't be a problem anymore.
"Ari, why do you leave me standing there?" Jeff asked, walking beside me, turning his gaze back to me. "Don't you think it's too much?"
"Jeff, I can't control what I dream," I said simply. He sighed.
"I mean you've been having them for months, and you can't even see who it is," he replied, referring to what I'd told him about how they happen.
Me, in every dream, with blood, pain, fear, and a boy hurting me, saying every time that he knew me.
…Did I know him? But his face was blurry, keeping me from seeing who he was.
A chill ran through my body. I should stop thinking. The only thing that came to mind were memories of ugly dreams.
"Let's drop the subject for now," I said.
I looked down the hallway with transparent windows that revealed the rain.
Water was pooling in several areas of the school's garden.
Just minutes after it started, there were already floods and accidents throughout the city. The facilities were prepared for storms, so many students didn't risk leaving and stayed inside.
"Alright, let's hope the dreams disappear and you stop giving them importance," Jeff replied, giving me a smile that I returned. "Let's go get something to eat."
He touched his stomach, implying he was starving.
"Okay," I replied, and he caught me off guard by grabbing my arm and pulling me by my sweater. "Wait!" I protested, since we were almost running, and the students around us laughed as we passed.
"Why do you always do that in front of people?" I said before opening the cafeteria door.
Jeff held the door open for me.
"It makes girls think I'm going out with you," he said, letting go of the door as he stepped inside and walked beside me.
"Jeff, if you don't want them noticing you, you can just reject them," I looked at him. He had that carefree expression, as always. "I'm serious. Don't get me into trouble with other girls."
"How clever, I hadn't thought of that," he said sarcastically, shaking his head. "There are girls who just won't stop bothering me."
I rolled my eyes and looked forward again, only to see Ian heading in our direction.
"I guess you'll keep avoiding him," Jeff whispered in my ear, making me pull away and touch my ear. He straightened up to look at Ian and wave at him.
Damn it. Seriously? Did he really have to greet him? He knows very well I rejected him.
Jeff wanted me to face the situation, but not like this.
The best thing for Ian is to stay away from me. He said he had no problem with me and that we could still be friends. But it wouldn't be the same.
Jeff doesn't ignore it; they became friends when they were classmates in their first semester. Though it's nothing new, everyone wants to be Jeff's friend.
He's like Regina George from Mean Girls. Sometimes they annoy me, but then I remember I'm his only friend.
I mean, for years now.
Ian smiled at him, looking cheerful. How strange. Well, not strange—good, I guess. He stepped closer to Jeff to greet him while I stood beside him, avoiding any eye contact. I don't even know what I was staring at.
"I see you're still here," Ian said, greeting Jeff warmly.
"Yeah, I'll wait until the storm ends," Jeff replied. I could tell he liked him. He once said Ian never asked him about his family.
According to Jeff, most people who approach him want information about his family. As if to take advantage of it.
For those who don't know, Jeff Brown—just that last name says a lot here. And yes, they have a lot of money. I can't name an exact amount, but there are many zeros in his bank account.
"And you?" Ian spoke to me. I was so distracted when I looked at him that I took too long to answer, and Jeff spoke for me.
"Same," Jeff replied for me. I noticed a hint of surprise—confusion?—on Ian's face. He smiled, though to me it didn't seem sincere.
"I have to go. I'm heading to a workshop," he said goodbye to Jeff, now avoiding me, and walked off in the opposite direction. I immediately noticed how his smile faded and his face turned serious.
"It helps in situations like that too," Jeff said, unaware of Ian's change. Should I tell him? I think he already has enough with my dreams. Now he'll say I'm starting to distrust everyone.
"But they'll end up thinking we're a couple," I replied. He waved his hand, telling me not to worry, as I reached into my back pocket to take out my wallet.
"I know, but sometimes it helps," Jeff commented, snatching my wallet.
"Hey!" I protested, trying to reach his arm—useless given my height. He raised my wallet even higher so I couldn't grab it.
"If you get to the line first, I'll give it back," he said before I could complain. He took off running at full speed, and I reacted quickly, chasing after him.
[...]
"I hate you."
Jeff's laughter echoed loudly throughout the cafeteria. I stopped to catch my breath and looked toward the line, where Jeff was teasing me with my wallet.
I walked up to him smiling, and when I reached him, he handed it back.
"You win," I said with a smile.
"I always win," Jeff replied, grinning, and stood behind me in line.
He ordered a latte, and I ordered a hot chocolate. He paid for me and refused to let me give him the money back.
"Don't worry about it," he said, shrugging.
He took my arm and led me to a table near the window, where we could see the rain. I liked the sound of it; it was relaxing.
"Do you want to talk about what happened with Ian?" Jeff asked, surprising me.
"There's nothing to talk about," I replied, looking out the window.
"Ari, I know you don't want to talk about it, but I think you should," he insisted. I turned back to him.
"Why do you think I should?" I asked.
"Because I think it's affecting you more than you want to admit," he said seriously.
"It's nothing," I replied, shrugging.
"Ari, don't lie to me," Jeff said, looking at me intensely. "I know something's going on, and I want to help you."
I felt moved by his concern and realized maybe I should talk about what was happening.
"Alright," I said, taking a deep breath. "Let's talk about it."
Jeff nodded and gave me an encouraging smile. I felt grateful to have a friend like him, always willing to listen and help.
"What happened with Ian?" he asked.
"I don't know," I replied, shrugging. "I just feel uncomfortable around him."
"Since when?" Jeff asked.
"Since…" I paused, searching for the right words. "Since he asked me out."
"And what happened?" Jeff asked.
"I said no," I replied, feeling uneasy remembering it. "And after that… well, I just feel uncomfortable around him."
Jeff nodded, giving me an understanding smile.
"I get it," he said. "But Ari, you can't let someone make you feel uncomfortable. You have to face it."
"I know," I said, frustrated. "But it's hard."
Jeff placed a hand on my shoulder.
"Ari, you can do it," he said. "You just need a little confidence."
I nodded, grateful for his support.
"Thank you, Jeff," I said, smiling. "It means a lot to me."
"That's what friends are for," he said, letting go of me. "Now, how about we get something to eat?"
I laughed and nodded.
"Sounds perfect," I replied.
[...]
My phone buzzed with the special notification I set to identify messages from certain people. It was Camila. She sent me a link and then wrote: "Is it true?"
I didn't know what she meant until I opened the post. It was a post of Jeff and me—different photos of us together. "What the hell? Who took those photos?" They were from different times.
To be honest, it looked like we were a couple, and everything was taken out of context. One of the photos was recent, the two of us close together, talking in the cafeteria.
I turned around, completely scared. Everyone was minding their own business; no one looked suspicious, much less someone we knew.
"Why do you look like that? What's wrong?" Jeff asked. I looked at him and simply handed him my phone.
He set his food aside, wiped his hands with napkins, and looked at my phone. After a few seconds, his expression turned angry.
He stood up, and with the force of it, nearly knocked over the chair.
"Who posted this?" he asked the few people in the cafeteria.
They shook their heads; others looked confused, not knowing what he meant.
"Why is it a lie?" a boy asked from a table far away, sitting with two others.
His friends shook their heads, and I swear one of them told him to shut up.
"Excuse me?" I asked, standing up. Their surprised expressions made it clear they hadn't expected me to say anything.
I can't deny it's not the first time a rumor has spread about Jeff and me. He always defends himself; he's a good friend; then he clearly denies it. People don't mess with me because of that—no one wants Jeff as an enemy.
It's not like Jeff feeds them or gives them money. They're just people who want to benefit from him somehow.
"It's obvious they're a couple, but they always deny it," the same boy said, and one of his friends nodded.
Jeff and I looked at each other at the same time and smiled. "Seriously? How many times have we heard that?"
"I didn't ask for your opinion; I asked who posted it," Jeff said as we walked over, placing my phone with the post on their table.
"I already saw it," the boy replied, looking at Jeff without concern.
I laughed.
"I can accuse you of taking photos without our consent," I threatened, hoping they'd say something.
Their expressions turned worried. Being seniors, we all try to avoid trouble for college.
"Just tell them, man," one of the friends—who hadn't spoken before—urged him.
"Who was it?" Jeff asked.
The boy shook his head.
"It wasn't us. It was a guy sitting at a table near you," he sighed, pointing to a table with the same angle as the photo. But I remembered that when we arrived, no one was there.
"Who?" I asked.
I was confused. Who would want to start a false rumor? What would they gain?
"You should pay more attention to your surroundings," he replied.
That only raised more doubts.
"I'm asking you—who?" Jeff said, slamming his hand on the table. "Do you know who it was?" Jeff asked again. The boy nodded.
"Yeah. The guy you sometimes hang out with."
I looked at Jeff. He immediately lowered his gaze, running his hands aggressively through his hair.
"Ian?" Jeff asked, his expression completely frozen. He hadn't expected it. Neither had I.
"Yeah. The guy you sometimes hang out with," the boy confirmed.
I grabbed Jeff's hand and pulled him out of the cafeteria, leading him to the stairs. No one spoke until I sat him down on one of the steps.
"He did it out of jealousy," Jeff said after a few seconds, lifting his gaze.
"I'm sorry," I apologized. Even though it was still just a rumor, posting photos online was different—anyone could see them, including his parents.
I leaned in front of him and opened my arms, hoping he'd accept my hug.
"This isn't your fault. He's the one who posted the photos," he said before leaning into me and hugging back. "I didn't think he liked you that much."
He whispered it in my ear, making me laugh because he sounded like he couldn't believe it. I pulled away to stand up and look at him.
"I'm sorry for getting you into trouble with your parents," I said. I knew how much he worried about what they'd say. He'd told me his father warned him not to get into trouble because of a political campaign.
"Don't worry. They already thought it anyway," he replied simply. I stepped closer and tried to push him. He smiled again, letting out a small laugh as he adjusted his jacket.
"I'll talk to Ian," he said.
"What are you going to tell him?" I asked, even though it was obvious. I meant how—because when he gets angry, he doesn't act very maturely.
"I'm going to congratulate him," he replied. I raised my fist, and he instinctively covered his chest. I quickly lowered my hand.
"You can hit me harder later," I admitted.
He stood up and took my hand. I pulled away, confused.
"You're the only one who can do that?" he asked, crossing his arms.
"I did it because you were sad," I said.
"Well, I still am," he replied, taking my hand again. This time, I didn't pull away.
I can tell Jeff isn't okay. Sometimes I don't ask about his problems—the last thing I want is for him to be sadder. All I can do is try to cheer him up. I've tried many times to get him to talk, but it's useless; he insists he's fine.
"You know I'm here for you no matter what," I said, still worried.
"Ari, don't worry," he replied calmly.
I know it hurt him that Ian betrayed him—or whatever this situation is called—but it's clear he wanted to make him look bad. Maybe because he knew it would upset me and cause Jeff trouble.
I'm sure Jeff might have told him something about his family and how hard it is for him to deal with it.
They were good friends. Ian was my friend too, but not that close.
Jeff never expected him to do something like this.
No one did.