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[KING'S LANDING, CERSEI'S CHAMBERS, NIGHT]
[TYRION enters and CERSEI angrily and tearfully stalks over to him.]
"You monster. Myrcella is my only daughter. Do you really think I'll let you sell her like a common whore?"
"Myrcella's a princess. Some would say she was born for this."
Myrcella choked up hearing her mother's words, her bottom lip wobbling.
Tyrion had noticed this and gently patted her on the head.
"Your mother is many things, dear niece, but she is above else a mother. And she loves her children dearly. Yes, she tends to overlove Joffey because he is the firstborn, but never doubt her love for you. Or you" Tyrion said the last part to Tommen, who was looking at his uncle with a small pout.
Myrcella nodded, the princess not sure what to say. Instead, she ducked her head.
"I will not let you ship her off to Dorne as I was shipped off to Robert Baratheon."
"Dorne is the safest place for her."
"Are you mad? The Martells loathe us."
"I do question your thought process brother. How is Dorne safe for Myrcella?" Jaime questioned.
"The Martells are not as ruthless to children as they are to you and I. They won't do what was done to their sister's children."
"You're quite right, Lord Tyrion," said Doran Martell, a small smile on his face. "But it isn't only House Martell who sits and waits for vengeance. Elia was beloved by most of Dorne. Many would want to avenge her death. I suggest you look elsewhere if you wish to keep her the safest."
Myrcella's head snapped up and she looked at her uncle, who looked a little caught off guard. He had to have thought about that when he sent her to Dorne. Her uncle Tyrion was clever and smart, he wouldn't do something stupid without thinking about it first.
"Myrcella would probably have a Kingsguard accompanying her" Tyrion said finally, much to Myrcella's relief. The events hadn't come forward yet, but her uncle was thinking of her well-being. That gladdened her.
"I would still suggest what I suggested" Doran replied amicably.
"That's why we need to seduce them. We will need their support in the war your son started."
It's always Joffrey, Myrcella thought angrily. Her brother always started something and she and Tommen had to suffer for it too! She still remembered the pregnant cat Joffrey had gutted. It was her cat! And after that, her mother forbade her to keep cats, in case they bothered Joffrey again. It's always Joffrey that's the problem.
I can't wait to be rid of him...
"She'll be a hostage."
"A guest."
"So naĂŻve" Oberyn clicke dhis tongue, much to Tyrion's ire.
"You won't get away with this. You think the piece of paper Father gave you keeps you safe. Ned Stark had a piece of paper, too."
"Unlike Ned Stark, the father will turn her life around if she displeases him" Jaime mused loud enough for his brother and mother to hear.
Tyrion was still irritated by Oberyn's comment, while Joanna's frown only deepened.
[CERSEI sweeps glassware from the table in frustration. It hits the floor and shatters.]
"She's behaving like a child," Joanna said aghast. Was this the girl she'd left behind all those years ago? What has Tywin been doing that she turned out this spoilt?
"She's always been like this, especially after your death" Jaime stated softly.
"And you father-"
"Didn't have much time to deal with her" Jaime shrugged. "He'd always been on my neck about my education. The Septa tended to Cersei, and one threat cowed the Septa easily. She always got what she desired in that manner."
Joanna was outright furious now and disappointed in her husband.
"Just how safe do you think Myrcella is if this city falls? Do you want to see her raped, butchered like the Targaryen children? Make no mistake. They'll mount her pretty little head on a spike right beside yours."
Jaime winced.
"Brother..."
"I know" Tyrion sighed. He'd gone too far there.
"Get out! Get out!"
[She pushes TYRION, who falls back onto the small set of stairs behind him. CERSEI looks at him with disgust. She turns, sits, and begins to weep. TYRION climbs the stairs and exits.]
"At least you found your mole" Varys smiled. Tyrion did not return it.
[KING'S LANDING, TYRION'S CHAMBERS, NIGHT]
[TYRION sits and ponders. LITTLE FINGER enters, enraged.]
"I don't appreciate being made a fool of, dwarf. If Myrcella marries the Martell boy, she can't very well marry Robin Arryn, can she?"
"I'm afraid you've made an enemy out of his, Lord Tyrion."
"And what if I have?" Tyrion challenged the Spider. "Not much he can do to the acting Hand of the King."
"No. But you won't be acting as one for long. And Littlefinger...he loathes being made a fool."
Tyrion inhales deeply.
"I will be fine" he mutters after.
"No, afraid not. Sorry about that."
"And Harrenhal, I suppose that's off the table as well."
"Yes, I fear so. Sorry about that, too."
"Leave me out of your next deception."
"Oh, that's a shame. You were to be the centrepiece of my next deception. My brother Jaime rots in a Northern stockade. I would see him released. That's where you come in."
"Sending the man who had a hand in orchestrating my husband's death is singularly the worst idea you can come up with, Lord Tyrion" Catelyn stated calmly, though the look in her eyes was anything but calm.
Tyrion wisely said nothing. He would not come out unscathed if he were to reply to that.
"Robb Stark will never release the Kingslayer."
"No, he won't. But his mother might. How would you like to see your beloved Cat again?"
Catelyn glares, but Tyrion does not meet her gaze. He doesn't even look at her.
[BRONN enters.]
"Find him?"
"Oh, aye. And he has company. Filthy old stoat. Almost hate to interrupt."
"No, you don't."
"No, I don't."
[BRONN leaves. TYRION sets down the book he was holding and gives LITTLEFINGER a wry smile.]
[KING'S LANDING, BROTHEL]
[PYCELLE and a prostitute lie on a bed. She is naked, while he is fully clothed.]
"I was under the impression that a Maester lets go of any such inhibitions" Lyanna muttered, a little slack-jawed at what she was seeing.
"They do" Catelyn answered, covering Bran's eyes. "Robb! Arya!"
Robb clasped his hands over Arya's eyes, much to the girl's displeasure.
"So the Grandmaester is biased towards a noble House and plays with prostitutes... Why is he still in the position?" Rhaegar questioned. The man had always had a dislike for the Grandmaester.
"Because we were unaware of this" Jon Arryn explained, a pointed stare pinned at the Spider.
"The Grandmaester's personal business was not... for the lack of a better way to put it... a threat to the Kingdom" Varys explained, though even did not seem satisfied with his answer.
Jon Arryn wasn't either.
"I would like to be told of the things that are not threats as well, Lord Varys."
"As you wish, my Lord."
[The door bursts open and the couple jumps as BRONN and TIMETT walk in. The woman flees the bed and PYCELLE sits up in indignation.]
"What is the meaning of this?"
[TYRION stops and stands in the doorway. BRONN walks over and pulls PYCELLE out of the bed. PYCELLE stumbles forward and stands hunched over.]
"No, please, please."
"You disappoint me, Grand Maester."
"I am your loyal servant."
Tyrion snorted.
"So loyal that you told the Queen about my plans to send Myrcella to Dorne."
[TYRION walks over to the desk and pulls out the chair. It scrapes against the floor. TYRION sits.]
"No! Never! It's a falsehood. I swear it. It wasn't me. Ah, Varys. It was Varys the Spider."
"Always me" Varys sighs.
[TYRION picks something made of gold up off the desk and plays with it while he talks.]
"See, I told Varys that I was giving the Princess to the Greyjoys. I told Littlefinger that I planned to wed her to Robin Arryn. I told no one that I was offering her to the Dornish. No one but you."
"The eunuch has spies everywhere."
"Cut off his manhood and feed it to the goats."
[PYCELLE recoils from TIMETT, landing on the bed. BRONN smiles.]
"How long have you been spying for my sister?"
"All I did, I did for House Lannister. Always. Your lord father, ask him. I've always been his servant since the days of the Mad King."
"Something I've told my father many times. You'd think a paranoid man like him would heed my words" Rhaegar muttered to his wife.
"Your father did not trust you, so it's not inconceivable" Elia patted him on the arm.
[TYRION ponders for a moment, bouncing his fingers on the armrests of the chair. He shakes his head.]
"I don't like his beard."
[BRONN grabs PYCELLE by the beard, then chops it off with a large knife. PYCELLE cries out as he feels what remains of his beard.]
"How many Hands have you betrayed, Pycelle? Eddard Stark? Jon Arryn?"
"Oh, Lord Arryn, h-he knew. He, he knew the t-truth about, about, about the Queen. An-And he planned to act, to t-tell King Robert."
"So you poisoned him?"
"No. Never."
"He looked quite offended, didn't he" Jon whispered to Robb, who nodded.
"But you let him die, made sure he succumbed."
"I see" Robert mused. "We need a new Grandmaester as well it seems."
"I will add it to the list," Renly said with a small smile. Good riddance.
"Lannister, I always served Lannister."
"Get him out of my sight. Throw him in one of the black cells."
[BRONN and TIMETT wrestle Pycelle out of the room. TYRION leaves a coin on the chair for the prostitute, who is cowering in the corner and appears to be in shock.]
"For your trouble."
"You're such a good patron for the whores" Jaime chuckled.
"Someone has to care" Tyrion smirked.