As dawn crept closer, my exhaustion from the night before was torn apart by a sharp, hoarse yell.
"What—what happened?! Why am I in a cart—?!"
I froze for a heartbeat.
Then realization struck.
Renshu.
I blinked hard, my mind tensed to catch up as his voice echoed again, raw and disoriented. Rong Xu jolted awake beside us, while Gao Ming remained motionless, still lost in sleep.
"General Renshu, you're awake!" Rong Xu exclaimed, coming forward.
"Awake?" Renshu snapped. "What do you mean awake? Where are we going? Did we extract enough poison—"
His words tumbled over one another, urgent and fractured. I didn't know how to react.
He was conscious.
Finally, he was here.
Rong Xu and I exchanged a glance before launching into an explanation. The hut.The bark. The rushed extraction. The tree trunk now bound in the cart behind us. I watched his expression carefully as we spoke, his jaw tightening with every detail, his eyes sharpening despite the dull pain clouding them.
When we finished, silence settled between us.
"What happened after you were knocked out?" I asked quietly.
Renshu exhaled through his nose. "I don't remember much. I recall being carried. I woke up a few times, they hit my head whenever I did." His voice remained steady, but his fingers curled faintly against the blanket. "At one point, they laid me on the ground. It was cold. They woke me to force food down my throat, then struck me again."
"No wonder you have that scar," I muttered. "You should rest—"
"No." He cut me off immediately. Then, more controlled, "It isn't a good decision. Hand me the map."
So that was that.
I passed it to him without another word. Looks like my hours of leadership were over, if they had ever truly begun.
Rong Xu leaned closer to me, lowering his voice. "Aryan, are we really going to put this much pressure on him? He's still bleeding. He needs stitches."
"I know," I replied. "But you know him. He won't listen."
Rong Xu schemed. "At this point, I'm tempted to steal the map. He's staring at it like it's hiding some secret code."
I let out a short laugh, then immediately regretted it.
Renshu's gaze lifted.
Right. He hated it when I laughed with Rong Xu.
If anything, those two should have spent more time together. Even their names sounded alike. I wasn't sure why that thought had only occurred to me now.
---
By evening, we reached an inn.
Everyone was exhausted, aching, and hungry. We had rations, but with both Renshu and Gao Ming injured, stopping felt unavoidable. Thankfully, we had put enough distance between ourselves and that place. No thieves. No pursuers.
As soon as food was set before us, Renshu spoke.
"There was no real need to halt our journey," he said, already tearing into his meal. "We'll leave at dawn. Everyone should be prepared."
This, from the man with his head wrapped in blood-stained cloth.
After dinner, the innkeeper handed out the room arrangements.
I was told I would be sharing a room with Renshu.
Again.
"I'm not exactly the best person to fix bandages in the middle of the night," I muttered as we entered. "Shouldn't you have asked—"
"Relax," he interrupted. "It's just a bruise. And I can't have you sleeping in the same room as other men. That alone sounds wrong."
I doubted anyone would discover I was a woman.
Though I doubted Renshu cared either way.
"So," he continued, sitting down, "Gao Ming made you the leader?"
"What? Am I not still the chief strategist?"
"You are," he replied casually. "Oh, right. You don't know how these things work."
I frowned. "Then why does it matter?"
"Because it does," he said sharply. "If the men respect you, the colonel might raise your salary. You'd have a better chance of becoming a colonel, or even commander, if the position opens."
"Hm." I tilted my head. "What were you before becoming general?"
"I wasn't," he answered. "Wei Fang chose me directly."
That gave me pause.
"So if he hadn't…?"
"I would have been a commander, perhaps. But there were no other candidates so he chose me."
Interesting.
Wei Fang had willingly passed on his own title.
"Enough about them," Renshu said suddenly. "Replace the cloth."
I groaned silently and grabbed the fresh bandage from the bed.
"Sit down," I ordered.
"You're tall enough," he replied with a faint smile. "Go on, Meilina."
I sighed and stepped closer. Slowly, carefully, I unwound the blood-soaked cloth. The fabric was heavy, stiff where it had dried.
This must hurt far more than he was letting on.
As I wrapped the clean cloth around his head, our faces ended up far too close. His gaze never left mine. It wasn't angry, just intense, unreadable.
"Is it difficult?" he asked.
"No," I said. "It's simple—"
Before I could finish, his hand pressed firmly against my back, pulling me forward.
"I missed you."
His lips brushed my cheek, sudden and grounding.
"Why—aren't you tired?" I asked, stunned.
"Not really."
I pulled away immediately, turning to rinse the old cloth.
I wasn't surprised when his arms circled my waist from behind.
His presence was warm, insistent. His face rested briefly against my shoulder before his breath brushed my neck, his affection spreading without urgency, only need.
"Did you miss me?" he murmured. "I can't wait until this mission ends."
I stayed quiet, scrubbing the cloth harder than necessary.
"Why do you ignore me so much?" he muttered, frustration creeping into his voice. "You never push me away, but you never let me close either. You talk freely with Shuyin. With Lianyu. But with me—"
Before I could respond, he reached up and removed my hairpin.
My hair fell loose around my shoulders.
I stiffened.
"I prefer it tied," I said.
"You look better this way."
"It's more practical," I interrupted.
He stared at me, searching my face. For a moment, I wondered if he could see through me.
"You don't have to be practical here," he said quietly. "We've known each other for a long time."
"What does that have to—"
"Meilina," he said, voice unsteady, "why are you always so guarded?"
Silence pressed down on the room.
"You talk to me," he continued. "But it feels like you don't trust me. Like you don't care. I saw how you spoke to Shuyin. How you spoke about Lianyu. But with me—"
Before he could finish, he walked away towards his mattress, laid down with his back against me.
I didn't stop him.
I didn't even realize how badly my chest ached until he had already turned away.
Disappointed.
That was what he seemed—not angry.
I stood there, frozen.
I had never hated him.
He was the only one I hadn't judged from the beginning. I thought Lianyu would hurt me, I thought that Shuyin would be strict. He was the only one I didn't assume much about.
Brushing those thoughts aside, I lay down as well, staring into the dim ceiling.
Tomorrow, I decided.
Tomorrow, I would speak.