"Who am I?"
Life asked.
Not the life that had become self-aware, no. The one that had only just emerged into the world, like a child who couldn't walk yet. Not even crawl.
The one that hadn't learned how to live.
"Who am I?" she asked again.
She asked it as if she were looking straight at me, as if she'd been waiting only for my answer, as if I were the one obliged to cut through this question like a knot.
"I don't know who you are," I replied. "And it's not for me to tell you. Ask yourself, your true self. That's the only way."
In the end... I understood. I was a lousy teacher. Only by becoming aware of yourself can you answer another who stands in the same position you were in just a moment ago.
Time was needed. I kept telling myself, time was needed. Time to understand yourself. Time to become aware of your own "I."
And that's how the life began of the one who decided to give birth to a beginning. A beginning in an empty world that awaited its flourishing.
She was like a child. Innocent, only just learning to walk and still stumbling over her own feet.
"Doesn't a careless child know to watch where she's going?" I asked, turning my gaze away. My eyes wandered, as if searching for an answer where there was none to be found.
"Daddy!" A joyful cry, and she came running. "What are you thinking about?"
"How did you know? Does it show on my face that I'm deep in thought?"
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't surprised. My face had given me away, a face always betrays you. A face is the expression of emotions, thoughts, things it's pointless to hide.
"What do you think life is?"
The question sounded as selfish as asking a blind man to look. Of course, she didn't understand. Of course, her eyes said: "What do you mean?"
"No, Daddy, I don't know at all, what is it?" Her enthusiasm outweighed my intrusiveness.
"And you? Who are you right now? Aren't you life?"
"Ooooh! That's too complicated!" she replied, puffing out her cheeks. "Stop asking such questions!"
Wrong.
I understood it was all too wrong. This approach wouldn't work. Only by fully understanding yourself can you explain to another what it means to exist.
Teaching life is a difficult task. Especially for me, such a clumsy "teacher." Especially with such a clingy pupil who stuck to me as if I were the answer.
Days passed. Time only began to flow when she took her first step. Space moved, expanded, started to grow.
And she grew with it, the first life. The one I had created, the one who became my other half.
No, I wasn't her teacher, it was closer, much closer. That was probably why she always called me "Daddy."
Word.
A word whose meaning I didn't understand. A word etched into the soul, but its sense slipped away. It seemed important, because every time she said it, the heart rejoiced.
The world was full of things whose meaning I hadn't yet grasped, and without grasping the meaning, you couldn't know their value.
Seven days. Seven days had passed since her appearance, and I watched her formation. Of body, personality, her own "I."
"Daddy! I finally understood who I am!" she exclaimed joyfully, climbing onto my lap.
"Hm. And who are you?"
"I'm your daughter! Hee-hee-hee!"
Her body grew day by day, but her smile was the same. A little more time, and she wouldn't fit on my lap anymore.
I don't want that.
Only with her growing up did I realize: life always strives toward death.
I don't want that.
I concluded that if life disappears, it should at least not disappear in vain. Or let it strive toward infinity, then death would strive after it just as endlessly.
Life is meaningless without what you hold dear.
And there was her hand, warm, as if determined to warm me in the coldest moment.
"Daddy, you are what I hold dear. I don't want to lose you..."
Silence, like an ocean calmed after a storm.
Silence not because it was possible. Silence because I understood: separation was inevitable.
"Of course, I'm your father. And a father can't abandon his child. Ha-ha..."
Three years. Three years had passed.
For some, it's an instant, for others, eternity. And for some, nothing.
"My, how beautiful she's grown... Daddy!"
Laughter.
A smirk.
An unexpected guest, the one you never wait for but who always comes.
"And who are you supposed to be?"
The question like surprise. Like the sign of an open door.
"Pleased to meet you. This is our first meeting. My name..."
Avaley Le Fay.