Doing his best to unlatch his body from Naruto's limbs without waking him up, he managed to crawl out of Kakashi's bed. He tugged the blanket higher up, covering Naruto's shoulders again, avoiding Kakashi's sleeping bag by the bed. Weird, as Kakashi was always awake before either Naruto or himself.
And it's not like the weekends were for him to sleep in either—the Hokage's advisor couldn't be sleeping in, regardless of the day. He tapped his shoulder, waiting. The next time was a more forceful kick, but it accomplished making him shift about, mumbling something under his breath that Sasuke didn't care about. At least he was awake though.
Shaking his head, Sasuke made his way to the bathroom, opting for a freezing shower. No better way to wake up than with shivers wrecking his body. It worked, even if the world felt a little slow. A quick glance at the mirror confirmed that his lips were tainted blue, but it didn't matter.
When his hair was mostly dry—after spending five hours drying it—when had his hair grown so long? He left the kitchen, going to the bathroom. His hair was drenched, it was ridiculous. He tossed the soaked, sticky towel in the trash, overfilled with cans and plates and disposable chopsticks and bloodied napkins and rotting food, as he peeked in the direction of Kakashi…
Still inside the sleeping bag. Sasuke rolled his eyes, forcing chakra to them. The bedroom's red tint should have been accompanied with cold sharpness, but the Sharingan failed to improve his reflexes. If anything, there was something pulling his feet downward, deeper into the bathtub. He crawled his way out of the heavy water, supporting his weight on the sink, until he was standing upright. The mirror was foggy, from the scorching shower. The Sharingan was spinning, something hot and sticky cascading down his cheeks. Before he could wipe at his cheeks, his fingers got tangled on something—on his hair, long and thin and black, slipping through his fingers.
"Turn around, Sasuke-kun."
He glanced over his shoulder.
His skin was pale, almost translucent, contrasting sharply with the trail of blood down his yellow eye. His stomach coiled tightly as his lips moved upward, an invisible string stitching them into a contorted smile on Orochimaru's face.
"How foolish—"
His lips were moving. His lips were—Orochimaru's lips were moving.
"Of you to think I wasn't here."
His ears rang with a scream.
His throat burned.
He sat up. From the bed. Kakashi's bed. Who was not in the sleeping bag, just sitting down on the edge of the bed, holding his shoulder, as if he knew exactly what Sasuke's nightmare was about. Sasuke tugged on his hair, but it was short—the same length as it should be. And when the Sharingan was activated, the bedroom was redder and sharper. The circles on his back were accompanied with some hums coming from Kakashi. Until they stopped, and a glass of water appeared in his peripheral vision.
But Sasuke's hands were too busy tugging at his hair to grab it. He cleared his throat. "Where's Naruto?"
"Shower," Kakashi responded.
With a quiet sigh, Sasuke settled back down on the bed, closing his eyes; a second later, he felt someone—Kakashi, it was obviously Kakashi's fingers running through his hair, pushing the sweaty bangs back.
"What was it?" Kakashi asked.
For some stupid reason, he opened his eyes, blinking away the offensive wetness. The shower was still running. "Do I look like him?"
Kakashi shook his head. "No. You're alright."
There should have been a joke in there somewhere, but for some reason that eluded Sasuke, Kakashi swallowed it back. And Sasuke didn't tell him that he appreciated how there was no need to spell anything out because he actually might throw up if he did have to spell it out to him.
Sasuke skipped the shower, anyway, though, not wanting to risk looking in the mirror for whatever reason. He did accept Kakashi's clothes, though, still a little too big around the waist and ankles, but not by much. He was standing in front of the Academy two minutes later.
And then made a clone, who did, in fact, look just as he should look. Sasuke stared a little as his clone walked inside the building, and then he turned around and jumped on a roof.
Before he could knock on Naruto's door, Karin opened it. Still in pajamas.
"I need to talk with you," Sasuke said, lowering his voice. "In private."
Karin narrowed her eyes, but otherwise moved to the side. Once inside, the door closed, she gave him a tight hug. Sasuke didn't mind feeling her fingers clutching around the shirt's fabric. Karin lingered for a moment, shorter than one of his fangirls would have aimed for, and let him go, taking a small step backwards. "I'm glad you're okay."
He bit back a sigh, doing his best to maintain eye contact. "Did you tell my brother?"
Karin turned around, heading to her bedroom. Sasuke followed her. "I told Hokage-sama what Kakashi-senpai asked me to tell him, of course."
Once they were inside the bedroom, Sasuke closed the door, as Karin pulled the curtains closed. Sasuke pulled her chair towards the bed, and took a seat, watching as she crawled on the bed, pulling a pink, fuzzy blanket to her knees.
"I didn't want to annoy you, but I really am glad you're fine. You…are fine, right?"
Sasuke nodded. If they were other people, he might have even thanked her for giving him his space, but they were not—they were just people who met each other under Orochimaru's watch, so she understood what the nod meant. "I need you to win against me."
Karin tilted her head to the side, narrowing her eyes. "You're that scared that people will realize you and Naruto are connected to each other?"
No. Sasuke just needed to lose against someone who Naruto would defeat, with a carefully laid plan that Naruto would execute perfectly without being aware of it at all. "Does a promotion matter to you?"
Karin shrugged. "Your brother told me there was a job waiting for me in Anbu if I made Chunin, which is fine, but I…wouldn't mind actively staying in the village, either. I know that Naruto heals you better than I ever could, but it still feels good knowing that I'm here in case you need something."
Again, how stupid to think that his brother wasn't having conversations with Karin. Sasuke kept his face blank, his voice empty. "You want to work in Anbu?"
Another shrug. "I…want to be useful. Why do you ask?"
Because for some stupid reason, there was an uncomfortable feeling brewing in him at the thought of his brother placing Karin in Anbu. Nothing he would tell her, though—even if feeling useful was a terrible reason to become a faceless monster for a foreign village. "If you help me, I don't know if you'd get promoted or not. If you care, then I'm not going to ask for your help. If everything works out, I think we'll all be promoted, but I…can't guarantee it."
"Obviously, I'll help you." She rolled her eyes. "Didn't you just hear me say that I want to be useful?"
"You don't have to be."
There was a small smile. A quiet sigh. "I want to."
Sasuke…wasn't sure what to say to that, considering that they…had met under Orochimaru. Clearly, he wasn't the only one with some…situations that he didn't want to think about. "If you say so," he said, after a minute dragged between them. "I need you to defeat me in a way that makes it believable and gets me promoted. You also have to make it to the finals with Naruto. Then, he has to beat you, but he has to look smart doing it."
Karin raised an eyebrow, "like I said, Sasuke-kun, obviously, I'll help you. But maybe you should just…consider talking to your brother about this?"
"No. That's unethical."
"And planning matches with someone isn't?"
Sasuke bit back a sigh. He wouldn't have to plan the matches if Naruto had a legitimate chance at promotion, but the more Kakashi told him, the more it sounded like he wouldn't be, and Sasuke…he just wasn't willing to wait to see what his brother would do in that situation. It felt dangerous to wait and see, felt like something Sasuke, for whatever reason, would start a fight over with the Hokage, which was a stupid. "It doesn't sound like you want to help."
"I will! But…you really should consider just talking to your brother about this."
Sasuke just stared at her until she sighed and rolled her eyes. She got up to grab a notebook and pen, though.
The chains certainly explained why Orochimaru didn't murder Karin when they returned without Suigetsu to Sound. And if he was honest, which Sasuke wasn't going to be, couldn't be, at least not standing outside of the Hokage's office, Anbu masks staring at him after he was summoned, Karin's chains were a relatively…fine way to lose a match. Basically believable, at any rate.
"The Hokage can see you now."
Sasuke stepped forward. His heartbeat was steady until he closed the door and the only person who might be a witness to…anyway, Kakashi was standing to his brother's right. Both of them looked like they had a migraine.
And that said migraine had just joined them. If possible, the dark circles under his brother's eyes were deeper than the last time Sasuke had really seen him. His heart sped up, but he was good at ignoring that stuff.
"You lost to Karin," Itachi said, his voice devoid of anything. Even the honorifics that his brother generally used. "Who lost to Naruto," he continued. "I told you his seal was weakening, didn't I?"
"Yes," Sasuke said, also keeping his face blank. Despite the fact that he'd turned most of his attention to Kakashi. They were so close together that it would be difficult for them to tell who Sasuke was looking at, anyway. Plus, he could admit that…seeing them in the same place was nice. Kakashi couldn't be stupid enough to still be his brother's advisor if Itachi had done something to him, probably. "Jiraiya took a look at it."
"As much as he could." Itachi sighed, "the Chunin from–"
"I'll follow him," Sasuke said, as calmly as he could, despite the fact that he knew what his brother was going to say, was going to explain away like it was a perfectly reasonable thing, like he wasn't the person who should demand his underlings to listen to Naruto on a mission. "He doesn't need a three man squad, he just needs me. Assign him any missions, I'll make sure they succeed."
Very carefully, he ignored the look that Kakashi and his brother shared with each other, like he was completely unhinged. It was their fault, though. If Naruto had a fair chance at a promotion, Sasuke wouldn't have gone through all the trouble, certainly wouldn't have tossed his own match. At the end of the day, this was better than starting a war. Not that he would say that out loud, Kakashi had already hit him once and Sasuke had told him he wouldn't say that again and it's not like his brother would find it any funnier, anyway.
"You're assigned to the Academy, Sasuke."
He almost blurted out to unassign him, but he didn't. At least not until Hana was walking up a tree. And she still had another five days, at least, though her unbridled determination was commendable. "Then give him weekend missions. We deserve to be promoted. Naruto's the only reason that we're both here. We all know that and it's not Naruto's fault that no one else does."
Something resembling guilt crossed his brother's eyes. It was fleeing, but there. "I'm not planning to send you or him anywhere outside of the village—"
"All the more reason to promote him then!" He snapped, though his tone, somehow, remained in check.
Itachi's chest rose with a deep breath and Sasuke caught him glancing at Kakashi, who also sighed and offered a small shrug, and then his brother audibly sighed. "Next time, please consider talking to me about it before you try to hijack promotions, but congratulations."
Sasuke felt some tension leaving his shoulders, although it was a little bit baffling that Itachi thought that Sasuke would do that. Even if his brother had agreed to a…questionable promotion, the Hokage couldn't. And so what if Sasuke had basically forced his hand? Itachi needed Sasuke to be promoted, if only because it turned out that he was an…okay teacher, and he wouldn't have been able to promote him, without anyone getting suspicious, if Sasuke ensured that he didn't even make it to the finals. And that Naruto won. Yeah, it was a little messed up, but so was the rest of the village, so whatever.
Still, though. He watched as Itachi pushed forward a Chunin vest across the desk. Sasuke, though, just wasn't stupid enough to take it yet. "I'm not accepting it until I see Naruto wearing one."
Itachi glanced towards the door. "He's waiting outside. You wouldn't want him to think that you had anything to do with this, would you?"
Again, Sasuke wouldn't have had to be involved if Naruto had a fair chance. He would have passed. So maybe people didn't trust him to lead them, but Naruto had the capacity to complete any missions, and that was what mattered. He defeated Gaara, defeated a Hyuga, saved Kakashi's from Zabuza fresh out of the Academy, and somehow got Itachi Uchiha to drop his cover and return to become Hokage of the village. Only idiots wouldn't want to go on missions with that record. Still, though. Naruto wouldn't see any of that in that way and Sasuke wasn't heartless enough to tarnish this accomplishment for him. Biting back a sigh, he took the vest.
Putting it on was a little gross…but that feeling was safely kept away from his face. At least it was his brother giving it to him, and not some stranger. That had to be a good thing.
"Can I go?"
At the Hokage's nod, Sasuke left.
Through the window.
Mostly to avoid Naruto.
He hovered on the roof, for the entire hour that it took Naruto to leave the office. An awfully long time to hang someone a new vest…Sasuke followed closely behind, while Naruto dragged his feet to the outside of the Academy, flopping down on the ground. Sasuke wasn't sure what he'd expected, but it certainly wasn't seeing Naruto moping around, occasionally staring down at the green vest. Had—had they told him how he was promoted? The…
Sasuke landed next to him. If they had told him, he'd rather get over the fight sooner rather than later. But when Naruto glanced up at him, there was a smile there. Like he'd been expecting him. Of course he was expecting him, Sasuke couldn't sneak around him anymore, which was bullshit. Naruto's eyes trailed back to the Academy. Sasuke sat down next to him, half expecting a shove, at least, but nothing.
Maybe they hadn't told him. Naruto wasn't discrete enough to keep that information to himself, or the impulse control to not punch him in the face. Sasuke…obviously knew it had been a shitty thing to do and if someone did the same thing to him, he would have been furious, but again, Naruto's promotion wasn't tied to his talents. Just to politics. It was unfair.
"Green isn't your color," Naruto said, turning his attention to him. "It's not really mine either, but I look cool!"
No, they hadn't told him anything. Naruto was, thankfully, not that good at faking emotions, at least not around Sasuke. "Don't let it get to your head, you're still a loser."
Sadness. Naruto turned his attention back to the Academy. "You're an asshole, still. Not with little kids, though. You're very nice to them."
Sasuke bit back a sigh. "I'm supposed to be."
"I'm going to ask Iruka-sensei if he wants to eat dinner. You want to come?"
"I have to run some errands," Sasuke said, standing up. "I just stopped by to tell you that it doesn't look awful on you. I'll catch up later."
That seemed to prompt a real smile from him, but before Sasuke found another excuse to loiter around, for far too many stupid reasons, he jumped on the nearest roof. Until he was in the hospital, talking to the receptionist at the front desk. Waiting for her to call Sakura. It took a minute, but the receptionist eventually gave him directions: up the stairs, to the left down the hallway.
Sasuke followed them, until he was standing in front of a door with Sakura Haruno engraved into it. He knocked once. Then, slowly opened the door. Obviously, Sasuke had never been there, but he imagined that Sakura would keep her office clean. Instead, the floor was littered with loose pieces of paper, the desk covered with scrolls and books. Sakura's doctor coat was hanging on the chair, but it genuinely looked like it was clinging to it by sheer determination to not become another item on the floor. For a second, Sasuke even considered turning on the Sharingan, just to double check that he'd walked to the correct place, but if it was the correct place, doing that would put Sakura on edge.
"Naruto got promoted," he said, instead.
Sakura set down a pen on top of a pile with seven textbooks. The bottom three were opened, too. "That's great," she said, looking up. "You did, too. Congratulations."
Even Sasuke, who generally didn't really care about social situations, could feel the awkwardness settling in the room. He glanced at the clock. "He's eating dinner with Iruka-sensei tonight. You should join them."
Sakura raised an eyebrow at that. "I—"
"It would mean a lot to Naruto," he said, turning around. He was careful closing the door on his way out.
Once outside of the hospital, he made his way to Naruto's apartment, knocking. Karin opened the door. She, too, was wearing a Chunin vest. The congratulations got caught in his throat, though, because why would he congratulate her for joining Anbu? That was messed up. Even more messed up that Sasuke might have helped her pass.
"Naruto's eating ramen with Iruka-sensei and Sakura. You should, too."
Karin smiled. "I'll see you then. And congratulations."
"You…too."
Her smile grew wider. But Sasuke was already out of the door, anyway. Was practically in the training grounds.
By the time he was done stretching, Megumi, Hana, and Makoto were running in his direction. Makoto was carrying an enormous bag, too.
"Sensei, you passed, too!"
Who knew that the only reason he trained so much was so his reflexes were good enough to stop Hana from face planting after jumping, clearly with complete faith, towards his general direction.
"Makoto told us that you lost a match, but we were still pretty sure you were going to pass anyway. But," Megumi said, helping Makoto pull a black, stuffed animal from the bag. "We got you this! We pulled our savings, sensei."
Sasuke shifted Hana's weight to take the cat. It was soft, clearly something that a bunch of children would think to gift someone. "Thank you. You guys are very thoughtful."
There was a chorus of 'you're welcome!'
And then Makoto dragged a…stuffed frog, with a bigger head than Makoto's body, out of the bag. It was bright red, with yellow circles all over its body. Makoto peeked from behind it, groaning a little. Megumi helped carry the rest of the body, a small groan coming from her.
"Don't…" Megumi shifted the weight of the frog some. "Don't feel bad, sensei. Makoto told us that Naruto did win, so we had to get him a bigger one!"
Hana clutched him tightly, "you're still a winner, Sasuke-sensei! But Naruto's a bigger winner this time, so we got him a bigger frog."
"The store didn't have any toads, so we had to get a frog," Makoto said from behind the plush.
"We're almost sure that toads and frogs are basically the same," Megumi explained, a small, worried frown on her face. "Do you think he'll like it, sensei?"
Somehow, Sasuke got his attention back to the kids and not the gigantic frog, not entirely sure why they would have tried to give him a toad—the summons. Naruto had been rambling about his toads the entire time that Megumi was eating ramen with them. "He'll love it," he heard himself say. Which was clearly the right thing to say, as they beamed at him. "We'll keep it in the bag while we train so it doesn't get dirty, okay?"
They nodded at him, but neither Makoto or Megumi moved. Sasuke set Hana down and then placed the frog, which would be heavy for a bunch of eight-year-olds, back in the bag. Carefully, he set his own plush on top of the frog's head. He made three clones for them. Hana, still working on the tree walking, and Makoto, trying to decrease the amount of time to stick to the tree, took a clone each, heading to the trees. The last clone went to Megumi, who stretched, and tried her best not to get discouraged at the Taijutsu practice.
Sasuke sent them back earlier than normal, largely because Makoto looked exhausted, presumably after dragging Naruto's gift from the marketplace to the training ground, but also to have time to make it to Ichiraku's.
Karin, Iruka-sensei, and Sakura were there. He caught Naruto's laugh coming from inside.
But Sasuke was carrying a huge bag, so he made his way to Kakashi's apartment, picking the lock, turning the lights on, and setting the gift next to him on the bed.
The door to Kakashi's door opened. Naruto walked in, glancing at him as he set a bag of takeout on the table. "Why didn't you join us?"
For someone who was just promoted and celebrated with his important people, Naruto sounded devastated. Tears were even pooling at the corner of his eyes. Biting back a sigh, Sasuke pushed himself to his elbows, slowly sitting up. "I wasn't hungry," he said, like he was ever hungry. Naruto also seemed to pick up on that fact, as he was opening his mouth, presumably to protest. Sasuke beat him to it, though. "Megumi and her friends sent you a congratulations present for passing, and winning."
Naruto closed his mouth, only to open it again, his eyes widening. He closed his mouth again, slowly frowning. "What–what?"
He pulled the bag closer to the edge of the bed. "This one's mine," he said, taking out the black cat, carefully sitting it on Kakashi's pillow. It looked more like it was laying down than sitting, its head apparently a little too heavy for the rest of the body. He stood up, offering the bag to Naruto. "And this is for you."
Naruto swallowed, glancing down at the bag, before looking back up at Sasuke. His arms remained glued to his sides, though. "Are—are you joking?" He asked, barely above a whisper.
He shook his head. "Why would I? They said they pulled their savings, and it was clearly heavy for them, so tomorrow, you have to stop by to thank them." Naruto remained rooted on the spot, though, so Sasuke pushed the bag more forcibly towards him, against his chest. "Now that you're a Chunin, you can't be this much of an idiot, Naruto," he said, pushing the bag towards him again. Again.
Naruto, finally, seemed to react to that, grabbing the bag. Not opening it, though, just staring down at it. A tear rolled down his cheek. Sasuke turned around, pretending to fix Kakashi's bed, as he heard Naruto ruffle the bag, groaning a little, presumably as he pulled the stuffed frog out of the bag. Sasuke might have even heard a quiet sniffle, but Kakashi's bed was really undone, with countless wrinkles.
A minute later, he heard a chair being pulled back, and a drawer opening in the kitchen. Which sounded a…little suspicious, so Sasuke turned around.
The frog was sitting on a chair, ten pieces of paper taped around the table and chair, a 'Naruto's' and arrows pointing towards the frog scribbled on them. "In case Kakashi-sensei gets the wrong idea," he said, smiling brightly. The confusion and sadness from minutes ago had disappeared; now, Naruto looked exceedingly proud. Happy, too.
"I'm quite sure the only thing Kakashi is going to think when he sees it is how he's going to get it out of his place."
"But now that it's labeled like this," Naruto said, as if Sasuke hadn't said a single word. "How…" he glanced at the bed. "Will it fit?" He shook his head, "Kakashi-sensei must have another sleeping bag around here." He walked towards the closet.
The very small closet, that clearly didn't have space to hold another sleeping bag. It barely had enough space to hold Kakashi's clothes, although Sasuke was sure that was partly because Naruto's jackets were so thick. Maybe he'd throw them away now that he had to wear a vest instead. Naruto couldn't be enough of an idiot to wear the vest over the jacket. Not even him could possibly think that orange and green were a good combination. Sasuke, though, didn't say anything, just watched as Naruto rummaged through the closet for five minutes.
Finally, he turned around. "He only has one sleeping bag."
"Obviously. He only needs one, idiot."
Naruto shrugged. "I was just trying to do you a favor, asshole. But you're right, you don't really need a sleeping bag."
It took a moment, a stupidly slow moment, for Sasuke to realize what Naruto was implying with that. Watching Naruto cradle the frog in his arms, walking towards the bed, helped clarify some of it.
Sasuke stepped in front before Naruto's frog could take over the bed. "Absolutely not. I was here first."
"It's soft and I bet it's perfect to cuddle with!"
"We won't fit and I'm not sleeping on the floor."
"Your cat's on the bed!"
"My cat doesn't take over the whole thing," he said, sitting down on the bed. He crossed his arms. "If you want to cuddle with it that much, go back to your apartment." He laid down, taking more space than he usually did to drive the point home.
From the corner of his vision, he saw as Naruto stared down at the frog, his lips pushed into a tiny pout, presumably thinking through the options. A minute later, Naruto took it back to the chair, with a sigh, fixing everything again, and adding ten more labeled pieces of paper around it. Sasuke shifted about, moving closer to the edge of the bed, and then, Naruto crawled over his back, settling down next to him.
"The real problem is that Kakashi-sensei really does need a bigger bed," Naruto mumbled, shifting around until, presumably, he was comfortable. "Goodnight."
"Night." Sasuke closed his eyes when he felt the blankets pulled up to his neck.
He opened them again when he heard the door opening. The lights turned on, but Naruto's breathing remained steady. Kakashi paused at the frog for a second, but otherwise, went to the fridge, placing a takeout bag inside of it. Took the bag Naruto left on the table to the fridge too. Sasuke glanced at the clock. Past three in the morning.
"Why were you out so late?"
Kakashi glanced at him. He slipped his shirt off, as he walked towards the closet. "I was grabbing dinner with Itachi."
Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "Grabbing dinner for Itachi, you mean."
"No," Kakashi responded. "Itachi and I were eating dinner. It was a busy day and we were hungry. There's barbecue in the fridge for you guys tomorrow."
Sasuke stayed quiet, watching as Kakashi fixed the sleeping bag by the ground. He felt Naruto move closer, until his back was pressed against him, but his soft snores remained constant. "Why were you grabbing dinner with him?"
There was a quiet sigh. "We were hungry, Sasu-chan."
"But—"
"Why do you eat dinner with Naruto?"
Sasuke glared at the question. Even ignored the way his body seemed to shift backwards, closer to Naruto. "He's my only friend."
Kakashi seemed to pause at that. "Your brother doesn't have many friends either."
"Do you?"
Kakashi shrugged. "Probably a bit more than him." He walked to the table taking his forehead protector off, and setting it down. As he walked to turn the lights off, he was rubbing his eyes, quite like someone who was, in fact, exhausted.
Sasuke waited until Kakashi was laying down to speak up again. Barely above a whisper, but understandable. "He almost killed you."
"You and Naruto almost killed each other too, several times, in fact."
Entirely true. One too many times. It wasn't lost on Sasuke that he seemed to do the 'almost killing' part more frequently than Naruto. The last time was even an accident. For the most part. What mattered was that he wouldn't have tried it if he had known Naruto's life remained connected to his own. Still, that was different. It had to be. "He could kill you."
"He won't," Kakashi replied, his tone light, as if he truly couldn't remember that Itachi put him in a coma.
The conversation was messed up. But Sasuke couldn't stop himself. "How do you know?"
Kakashi hummed. "I'm not putting you, or the village, in danger, and between us, Sasu-chan, I'm actually a decent enough friend." He chuckled, sounding awkward. He cleared his throat, too. "Now, please go to sleep. I'm tired."
Sasuke tried for about ten minutes. But even with Naruto pressed tightly against his back, it felt like a terrible night to have nightmares. "Why are you so stupid?"
Kakashi sighed, sounding like he had been seconds away from sleeping. Sasuke heard him shuffling around, felt him standing over him. He poked Sasuke's shoulder. "Come on, let's go on a walk."
After hesitating for a moment, Sasuke moved away from Naruto, carefully, so as not to wake him up. The snores continued even if Naruto's hand was reaching for something, eventually finding the stuffed cat and pulling it closer to his chest.
Sasuke would have smiled, but obviously didn't because he could feel Kakashi staring at him. Instead, just grabbed his sandals and followed him out of the apartment. On the way down the stairs, Sasuke shoved his hands into his pants' pocket, or actually Kakashi's pants. It didn't matter. They walked in silence until they were standing in front of the memorial stone.
Standing there, in silence, was…uncomfortable, but he'd been the asshole who kept waking up Kakashi.
"Itachi isn't going to hurt you, Sasuke."
"I know," Sasuke replied, quickly, the words barely managing to get out, doing his best to ignore the sudden tightening in his stomach.
"You haven't talked to him in—"
"I talked to him today. Or yesterday." Sasuke accepted a promotion his brother handed to him less than twenty-four hours ago.
"You talked to Itachi the Hokage, not your brother."
"Should they not be the same person?"
Kakashi glanced at him. A second later, his attention went back to the memorial stone. "Sometimes, it's difficult to walk the line between being a good shinobi and a good person," Kakashi said, taking a step away, distancing himself from Sasuke, closer to the stone. "Itachi isn't the best at it, but he's trying. He's learning and at least now he knows that putting you in a coma isn't being a good person, even if maybe, it might make him a good shinobi."
Sasuke wasn't stupid enough to consider any of that. "I'm not scared of him."
Kakashi turned to look at him. "Oh, good, because I am this close," he pinched the air with two fingers, "to dragging both of you to the boxes."
For some reason, it was the first time that Sasuke realized that yes, Kakashi's forehead protector was back in the apartment and the Sharingan was staring back at him. Sasuke pushed his own chakra to the eyes, keeping his face blank even as he felt his breath hitch at the reddened tint around him.
"You can't do that to the Hokage."
"You don't know what an advisor is supposed to do, do you?"
In Sasuke's defense, Orochimaru would have simply murdered Kabuto if he'd tried doing anything like that, and he hadn't seen Shizune interact much with the Fifth. He was almost sure that the Third hadn't had an advisor, anyway. Still, it seemed like maybe the employee shouldn't attempt to kidnap the employer. "Advise?" He snorted. "Which you appear to be exceedingly bad at."
"No. The advisor is there to make sure the Hokage is able to do his job to the best of his ability. Right now, your brother isn't doing that. He's worried about you, Sasuke."
"I…I'm fine."
"You're not," Kakashi said. Which was rude because it's not like Kakashi was fine, either—or Naruto for that matter, who cried over a stuffed animal. Itachi was apparently not fine, either. "It's fine if you're not," he continued. "But please talk to your brother."
For some reason, it felt like he was back to a tied tree. "For what?"
Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "The last thing you sat with him to eat dinner—"
"HE WALKED AWAY AFTER—" he cleared his throat. No. No. No, he wasn't a stupid thirteen-year-old anymore. He knew better. He had to know better. Itachi had done exactly as he should have, as he'd always done, walking away from his little brother to avoid having the painful conversations, and Sasuke…he should have known better. He had just been the idiot, again, for even…fantasizing about his brother not pushing him away. Maybe…he was just tired of it. He didn't know what he would have done if Itachi told him that he tried to take his life, but Sasuke was almost positive that he wouldn't have…walked away. And that was Itachi his brother. Itachi the Hokage? Sasuke was pretty sure that version of Itachi wanted to punch him in the face for tossing his match and forcing Naruto's promotion. He blinked as Kakashi pulled him closer. "I'm not crying."
Kakashi hummed. "I know. I need a hug."
Sasuke had been the asshole who dragged him out of bed, so he stayed put, the small circles on his back slowly relaxing his muscles, staring at the trees behind the memorial stone.
"You say I'm an idiot—"
"You are," he mumbled into Kakashi's shoulder.
"But I haven't tied you to a tree, again," Kakashi continued. Sasuke knew where he was going and…if he had energy, he would have run away. "If I can do better, he can, too. Give your brother another chance, Sasuke. He won't hurt you again."
That…the thing was that Kakashi hadn't murdered his entire clan. The worst thing Kakashi had done was to tie him to a tree and to try to murder Orochimaru with a stupid Chidori. Kakashi had even saved Naruto's life, and his own, after…anyway. The amount of "hurting" Kakashi had put him through was nothing compared to anything his brother had done or could do to him. And…admitting that Itachi had hurt him, or could hurt him, was messed up.
Selfish.
"He…he doesn't hurt me. And—and even if he did, or might, it was—is for the betterment of the village."
Kakashi stepped away, his hands holding Sasuke's shoulders. Sasuke wiped his cheek, trying to pause the Sharingan, because he couldn't do this, especially not with his bloodline activated, but his chakra refused to stop.
"Your brother, you, and I know that he has hurt you and…he has suffered too much, too, Sasuke, but his pain doesn't wipe away yours. Pretending that he hasn't hurt you just because he has also been hurt isn't going to make anyone feel better."
"I can't tell him he's hurt me, Kakashi!"
"Maybe start by telling him you're scared of him hurting you again."
Sasuke…shook his head, doing his best to ignore the knots in his stomach. "That'll be…stupid."
Kakashi's hands brushed his bangs back. Sasuke, much like always, pretended that he didn't lean into the touch and Kakashi, as always, had the decency not to mention it. "I told you once already: trying to outwit your brother in a game of Go isn't going to let either of you heal."
"It's not like I'm the only one who is doing it, and it's not like I'm the only one who can go and talk to him," Sasuke mumbled, staring down at the ground, because his Sharingan continued to refuse to deactivate and the floor was the only thing that was safe. "He…he could come and talk to me, too."
"I know," Kakashi sighed, long and loud. "I've been trying to, but…he won't budge. He's too scared. So, I'm asking you, Sasuke. I know it's not fair. Please go talk to him and let yourself feel those emotions that you've been trying not to feel. Be brave one more time."
The knots in his stomach tightened.
His shoulders shook.
Kakashi pulled him closer.
Thinking about talking to his brother, after admitting to trying to kill himself, after making the Uchiha look like weaklings in front of people from all over the Five Great nations, was making him sick. Actually doing it?
Impossible.
He couldn't—couldn't—
But shouldn't he? At the end of the day, wasn't that his duty? To show up and open himself to damage as many times as his brother needed? He'd done it when he was a kid, each time he begged his nii-san to train with him, just to be rejected, knowing he'd be rejected, but still hoping each time that it would be different. And if he'd managed to do it as a stupid kid, why wouldn't he be able to do it now? He couldn't be more stupid than he'd been as a kid, could he? His eyes were burning with annoying, unshed tears, but his face was safely hidden away in Kakashi's chest. And…and crying didn't matter, not in front of Kakashi, at least.
Eventually, he managed to nod, his teeth digging into his lower lip to quieter the sobs that wrecked him at the realization of the pain he'd agreed to because he loved his brother more than he loved himself. Kakashi, somehow, seemed to understand, as the hug tightened.
"I'm so proud of you, Sasuke."
Sasuke's breath hitched. "I hate you."
"I know."
But the circles continued until Sasuke managed to calm himself down. Still, when he pushed himself away from Kakashi, the red tint remained, the chakra rushing to his eyes like it was a sentient being.
"When is his first meeting?"
Maybe because of empathy, but Kakashi wasn't closing his Sharingan eye. "Ten. You have a few hours."
Slowly, he nodded. And wiped his cheeks. He stared at Kakashi for a minute, but sixty seconds later, it didn't look like Kakashi was going to change his mind. And Sasuke…he could be braver than he was as a stupid, little kid, anyway. He disappeared from the clearing, with the same jutsu that Kakashi showed him once. He stared at his apartment's door. Locked.
He had no keys and no will to pick the lock. Five minutes dragged on until he lifted his knuckles, knocking. Once. Twice. Judging by the darkened sky, it was still time for a reasonable person to be asleep, but—
The door opened.
And Sasuke's Sharingan remained activated, so there was nothing to prevent the image of his older brother with enormous, deep bags on his face, his eyes half opened, the Sharingan activated, a small twice on the right eye, from engraving itself into Sasuke's memory, forever.
"Good morning, Sasuke," Itachi said. His voice was hoarse, nothing like the soft, unassuming tone he usually had. Almost like he'd been screaming his throat raw. Or crying.
Nothing—nothing that Sasuke would ask about. "Good morning, nii-san," he said, instead, stepping inside and closing the door after him, and ignoring his quickened pulse.
It was fine.
He had practice being his brother's punching bag.
Sasuke might even consider himself a good punching bag.
"Sorry for waking you up, Kakashi said you got home late."
Itachi's Sharingan faded away, and Sasuke would have to be a liar if he claimed it wasn't a little easier to breathe. "Don't worry about it, I was already awake."
Now that he was looking at Itachi, it was entirely possible that he'd been using a jutsu to hide the eyebags as the Hokage. Looking at him, it was quite evident that, much like Kakashi, his brother hadn't slept a single minute. Again, he tried pause the chakra to his eyes, but it refused, and the Sharingan remained, memorizing all the tired lines on his brother's face.
"There…are teas to help you sleep," Sasuke mumbled.
"None of them work anymore."
Sasuke bit back a sigh. "You look exhausted."
Itachi tilted his head to the side. "Don't worry about it."
Sasuke glanced at the kitchen. "Let me make you some…tea, and breakfast."
"There's no need, Sasuke."
"I'm—I'm sorry. For…not been here lately. I can make you something."
A second later, his brother nodded and Sasuke made his way to the kitchen. He settled for the lightest green tea he could manage without feeling like it was simply water with color. From the corner of his eye, he spotted Itachi, sitting down on a chair, his attention fixed, apparently, on the very interesting wall in front of him. When the egg omelet was done, sooner than Sasuke hoped, he took the cup of tea and plate to the table. His brother's gaze was far away, his back straight, but frozen—if it wasn't for the small rise and fall of the chest, Itachi would have looked like a statue.
"Thank you," Itachi said.
"You're welcome."
Itachi picked up the cup of tea. As if his tongue couldn't register that it was scorching hot, he drank it in one gulp.
Sasuke turned to stare at the ground. The Sharingan remained and…he wasn't going to have the conversation he promised Kakashi and look at his brother in the eye at the same time. "I'm sorry for trying to kill myself. It was stupid of me. It won't happen again. I…I can be better. I'm sorry for hurting you and worrying you, I won't again."
He heard Itachi choking, presumably on the tea, but the ground was hypnotizing.
"And I'm sorry for being so stupid. I… it won't…again. And…and I'm sorry for making you look so bad in the Chunin exams. I know it was messed up to do all that, but.." he shook his head to clear his thoughts. Whatever reasons he had to do it were just excuses. "I wish I hadn't embarrassed you. I'm sorry I—"
"Sasuke, you don't have to apologize," his brother said, apparently not choking anymore. "I—"
"And I'm sorry for putting the village in danger. It was stupid of me. I really thought I was strong enough to hold back the nine tails and—and….I thought if I'd show you, I…you—you wouldn't need to use Tsukuyomi again."
"Sasuke, I won't ever use Tsukuyomi on you again."
He should be running away, but his legs were rooted to the floor. "I know," he heard himself say. "I know, it was stupid of me to think that. I won't again."
"Can you look at me?"
No. No. No. Holding his breath, his eyes trailed upward, until his attention landed, right on top of Itachi's head. His Sharingan seemed to remain inactivated, though, which was nice. It was nice. "I'm—I'm sorry I thought that. I know you wouldn't do that again. To me. I was just stupid and—"
"You're shaking, Sasuke."
He glanced down at his hands. Indeed, there were slight tremors. The stupid part of his brain told him to shove his hands in the pants' pockets, but Itachi had already seen. "I'm sorry."
"You don't have to apologize," Itachi said, sounding like there was something stuck in his throat. "There's no reason for you to apologize, otouto. I promise I won't use Tsukuyomi again on you."
Somehow, he managed a nod. "Thank you."
The chair scratched the ground. And his brother stood up. And by the time that Itachi was standing in front of him, his cheeks were wet with offending tears. "I'm very grateful you didn't die."
"I'm sorry." Somehow, he didn't flinch when his brother's hand rested on his shoulder, providing a small squeeze. "I…it won't happen again."
Itachi pulled him closer. Surprisingly, his shoulder felt the same as Kakashi's. The circles on his back were smaller and slower, as if his brother wasn't sure of what he was doing. "I'm glad you feel that way. I shouldn't have walked away the first time you told me. The truth is that I went to cry in the shower. It was wrong, I should have been there for you."
Sasuke's breath shuddered. "Being with me upsets you, doesn't it?"
"No." Itachi shifted. To coincidently have Sasuke stare at him. "I'm so grateful that I can be around you. I…" he sighed. "I just never planned to be around you. I thought I would be dead and you'd be happy after avenging our clan. I'm grateful that I'm able to be around you, otouto." Another squeeze. "I'm also very proud of the person you've become."
The person he become? Like trying to end his life, and Naruto's, was anything to write home about. "I'll do my best to keep making you proud, nii-san."
Itachi's hand fell from his shoulder. "I will too."
"You—"
"I still need some more practice to be better at this and asking you to be patient with me is unfair, but…thank you."
Sasuke shook his head. "I owe you my life. It's the least I can do."
There was a small, clearly sad, smile, as if Itachi knew that Sasuke's life was a wreck, but was too tired to comment on it. "I appreciate it."
Sasuke nodded, managing a small smile of his own, hoping that it looked less sad than his brother's. He motioned at the table, with the half-eaten food. "Was it good?"
"Everything you cook is always good."
"I'm sorry you haven't been sleeping," Sasuke said, watching as Itachi went back to the table. "Surely there's medicinal herbs that could help?"
Itachi shook his head, as he picked up the chopsticks. "Work is stressful, that's all."
"Maybe a change of scenery might help," Sasuke said, taking a seat, too. "Kakashi's apartment has helped me."
For a moment, his brother's smile brightened. "To be honest, I've thought about moving into the Hokage's tower, but…" he looked around. "I like thinking that I live with you."
Sasuke was a fucking asshole. He hadn't come back home forever. "I'll make you dinner tonight, nii-san. I'll bring some to your office if you need to stay late."
"Thank you."
"And…I'll try. I know I have a lot of issues and…" It was hard to talk to his brother about them. "I'll try to be better. I—I want us to feel like a family." Which was obviously difficult because neither of them had been family in years, and the only family he'd known since then…Sasuke had torned apart, within months of gaining it, badly enough that Sakura didn't want anything to do with him.
"I'll try, too, Sasuke."
"You don't have too."
Itachi shook his head. "I do realize it feels…wrong, and scary, but, Sasuke…you can hold me accountable. I'm not going to break, or break you, if you do, I promise."
Sasuke shifted a little, until he nodded. Itachi wasn't wrong: the thought felt wrong and scary. Nothing he'd tell him aloud, though. Sasuke was an idiot, but he couldn't be that much of an idiot. Besides, talking through this would expand more energy than his brother, clearly sleep deprived, could afford at the moment.
He watched Itachi eat the egg, slowly—although it was impossible to decide if it was because he was savoring it or just too exhausted to chew any faster.
"Sleeping with someone might help," Sasuke said.
Itachi's eyes widened. "What?"
"To sleep."
"Like Naruto-kun helps you?"
For some stupid reason, his cheeks were warmer. Still, he nodded, keeping his eyes fixed on the wall behind Itachi. It needed some pictures. "Kakashi could help you," he said, careful to keep his tone light. He was almost sure that brothers were, in fact, supposed to tease each other. And he was almost sure that Itachi started it by bringing up Naruto.
Itachi stood up. He poked Sasuke's forehead. Sasuke caught a small smile on his face, before he walked to the kitchen, giving his back to Sasuke while he washed the dishes. "Yeah, he has."