Claws met with swords, tails met with steel, and blasts of Demon Blasts only met with air, as Erza avoided them all.
Something is wrong…
Mirajane could sense it, even in her chaotic state of mind, something is not right here.
After all, none of her attacks were going through, that is what is wrong.
Being equal in strength, meant one thing, when two beings of the same level of ability fight each other, their fight will always be a fight of exchange of attacks.
And yet… while that how it normally is between Mirajane and Erza.
But for some reason… ever since Mirajane made the first attack, no, the only one who actually really attacking, while the other just defending or defecting attacks of their attacker.
None of Mirajane's attacks got through, as each time when Mirajane attacks Erza, Erza herself simply parried them head-on or avoids them, what looks like little effort at that.
It is known fact, when Mirajane entered her Satan Soul form, her physical strength alone is on another level compared to most Wizards, to the point not many could rival or come close to Mirajane's physical abilities while in this form.
However, Erza Scarlet is different.
Erza always been known for her monstrous level of strength, it is the kind of strength you will expect from a Martial Artist type of Wizard, and yet, Erza is not a Martial Artist, her Magic Power is not fully adjusted towards fully reforming her body to become one.
She simply always been this monstrous strong when it comes to physical abilities. To the point, even her monstrous strength could rival that of Mirajane's Satan Soul state.
However, that is the only thing the two girls are equal in, their physical strength.
When it comes to pure power, as well agility, in this regards, Mirajane is better, with her mobility and her agility is far faster and more agile then Erza is. Not to mention, the level of power her Darkness Magic is capable of, is way more than any of Erza's weapons are capable of.
And yet, when it comes to pure ability and skill itself, Erza is better.
Her ability to switch between fighting styles in the middle of the fight, makes it hard for most to fight with, when they changes their attack patterns in the middle of a fight, especially when Erza's Magic can swap her armour and weapons all she wants.
Not to mention, Erza's swordplay and weaponry skill is better than most experienced knights, and companied with her already monstrous level strength, makes Erza a force to be reckon with.
And yet… while Mirajane is faster, and can deal out stronger attacks compared to Erza, none of her attacks got through.
None of them, be it her claws, or her Magic itself, nothing is working, and this irritates Mirajane to no end, making her attacks more chaotic, but even more readable, creating many openings, that Erza could take advantage of.
But she did not, Erza never attacked Mirajane even in those openings, she only parried, avoided, and sometimes spartan kicked Mirajane away from her, just like right now.
With a roundhouse kick, Mirajane smashed into already long dead trees, shattering through them, only to clashed into the ground.
Mirajane slowly got up from the ground, before she slammed her demonic claws as hands into the ground, creating a small crater when she done so.
None of this made any sense to her, Mirajane took a deep breath, trying to calm her already chaotic mind, trying to understand, why none of her attacks are going through.
"What is the matter, Mirajane Strauss, this is not like you at all." Erza's voice soon sounded, causing Mirajane snapped away from her irritating thoughts, and refocused on this young Valkyrie.
"Shut it!"
Mirajane shouted while coating her demonic claws with wave of Darkness, and yet, not only did Erza avoided it, but even used the sides of her twin swords, hitting Mirajane's claws, causing the hidden Demon Blast she was about to use, to misfire and blasted a part of the already ruined forest, missing Erza altogether.
"Come on, Mirajane, we both know you can do better then this. And yet again, you are always like this, right? The bully who pushes others away, a coward that hides behind that persona of yours, right? You avoid everyone, avoid creating connections, that is why you are 'afraid', right?"
Erza simply asked, while avoiding the demonic tail that lashed at her.
"I told you to SHUT IT!!" Mirajane shouted, with a hint of denial and rage, refusing to listen anymore of Erza's nonsense, that is nothing but the truth.
"And now, because of this, you are now afraid of him, right? Afraid to let yourself know, how much… he matters to you, how much you truly feel about him, and yet, you are too scared to admit that! So, Mirajane, how much longer are you going to run away from this, from your own feelings!?"
Erza shouted, for the first time since this fight, and rushed at the stunned and confused Mirajane, a bright coated all over Erza's body, making the Wind Rogue Armour on Erza's body to fade away like a lie, only for a crude looking thick metal armour to appear on her body.
Requip: The Knight – Heavy Armour
Heavy Armour, was a magic armour that wasn't meant for combat, but for training, or more like training physical strength by wearing an armour that increases or decreases the weight of the armour itself
That is why, from the moment when the crude looking heavy metal armour appeared on Erza's body, covering her as a whole, the ground under Erza shattered by the pure weight of the armour.
And just like that, with an armour that weights tons, slammed into the stunned Mirajane, slamming both Mirajane and Erza into the ground!
And if that wasn't enough, Erza also increased the weight of the Heavy Armour, causing the ground below them to shatter further.
"Ack!!?"
It was no wonder, even in her Satan Soul form, being slammed and pinned by a basically a mobile chunk of metal, Mirajane spat out a mouthful of air from her lungs, being pinned in the ground by Erza with her chunky Heavy Armour.
"Got off, you heavy bitch!!" Mirajane yelled, trying to removed Erza off her, however, it was pointless, being pinned down by this chunk of metal.
"I will not, I will not move, not until you stop running away from your own emotions, stop avoiding what is before you. Are you truly okay with this, Mirajane? In the end, you will not only will hurt yourself by doing this, but even Zack as well, so I asked again, are you really okay with this?
Can you truly say you wouldn't regret any of this? Even right now, not once you could hit me, all your actions and attacks were so obvious, you know why that for, right? That is because you are dishonest with yourself, that is the reason you 'became weaker' you should be. So, let me ask you again, Mirajane, how much longer are you going to deny and refused to acknowledged those feelings of yours?"
Erza calmly asked Mirajane, who is unable to say a word to this.
Because Erza's is right.
Mirajane herself knew she is no different to a coward, that always been running away from herself, avoiding those uncomfortable emotions within her.
This is not like herself, this is not the Majin she had created, to protect herself from others, due to her distrust as well fear of trusting others.
Part of herself, wanted to accept these uncomfortable feelings, the realization within her heart.
And yet, another part of herself, like a trauma that it is, is unable to accept Zack, who could become the same as those villagers, who were like family to her younger self.
The feeling of being hatred by things she has not done.
Unreasonable malice aimed at her, that broken her on that day.
Mirajane fears if she were to let Zack in, wouldn't he do the same thing?
Betray her?
Call a murderer, a monster, even if it wasn't her own doing?
This is Mirajane Strauss's true trauma, her true fears, she fears to let someone in her heart, only to have it shattered once again.
That is why, she will never let herself experience that betrayal, that hatred, malice, as well sorrow all over again.
On the day when her Magic manifested, on the same day when their parents died, and the day when the village betrayed and exiled both her and her siblings.
Mirajane had made a vow to herself.
To never trust anyone again.
To never let anyone in that shattered heart of hers.
And most importantly, to use the life she already given up on, for her younger siblings, whose lives are more important to her than anything else in her life.
That is why, she must become stronger.
To prove to others, that she does not need others to protect what dear to her, because she knew.
If she were to accept the helps of others, that only admits she is weak, too weak to protect what is dear to her, to protect Lisanna and Elfman, who only mattered to this young rebellious teenager.
And yet… Mirajane realised something in this fight, she realised what these no longer bottled feelings, emotions are doing to her, those emotions and feelings she always put aside, are actually weakening her.
She never wanted these emotions and feelings, before even Mirajane could understand what they are, they came without warning, clouding her mind, mudding her reasoning.
All of this because of a single person, that made her like this.
A single person that came into her life, caused all of this, made her both weaker in mind and body, leading her astray from her true purpose in her already broken life.
Zack Smasher, he is the source of everything that currently happening to her mind and body.
All because… he is the fool that played with her emotions, the jester that clouded her reasonings, as well the one that she herself, unknowing when that is, has fallen in love with.
Ironically, isn't it?
They say love makes you stronger, but is that true?
Mirajane has no clue when she actually fallen for Zack, but ever since when she did, she became chaotic, and both her strength and Magic became weaker, all because she has fallen in love, even before she knew how it happened.
'If only I pushed him away…'
If only she were to push away Zack back at the train, but for some reason, those words he told her, caused Mirajane to unable to push him away, like she done so many times before.
'Why I let… someone like him, sway me?'
How many times, that dumbass acted like a fool? A dumbass that what he should be, and yet, when she always thinks back on those memories of either the more matured Zack, or the complete immature Zack.
Why does she always think of them as fond memories?
Causing her to laugh, to smile, and to have this warm feelings, that only lead her further away from herself, causing her to become like she is today.
'I don't need this… I don't need anything that makes me weak… unstable… I promised them… that I will protect them… not matter what that cost is…'
On the day when everything changed for the worse, her Magic awakened, their parents' death.
Mirajane made a vow, a vow that meant everything to Mirajane, even if that meant killing her naïve self, that she left in that village.
She vowed to protect Lisanna and Elfman, even if that meant ruining herself in the progress, she no longer wanted to lose anyone else dear to her.
And yet… all because a single person, someone who entered her already broken heart. Everything she worked for, her vow she promised herself, are falling into pieces.
That is something that Mirajane Strauss will never accept, no matter what.
Love and hatred always been one and the same, both are two sides of the same coin.
That is why, it is possible to love someone, as well hate them at the same time. And also why, love can fall into hatred, and hatred and snapped into love at any given moment.
That is why, one should be careful who they love, and whom they should hate, because they can become twisted as one, or flipped to the other side of the coin.
This is especially true, when it comes to those that has something important they cannot lose. As well, those that has their own belief of their own.
Mirajane Strauss is both of these things.
Her reason of living always has been two things, two people that meant everything for her.
And her belief is the reason why she could step forwards, when she already given up on herself.
Also now the reason, for her own belief, and for what is important to herself.
She will cast aside those feelings within her, those feelings known as love, so she can ensure herself, that she could protect what holds dear to herself.
While many may think this is no different from running away from her emotions, her feelings, like a coward. But this is different.
She acknowledged her feelings, that she has romantic feelings towards Zack.
But she cannot afford them, she cannot afford anything that makes her weaker, led her astray, because everything she does, always been for those two, her siblings, the only thing in her life that should matter, not some feelings that sways her, making her weak.
That is why, she knew what she should do, with these feelings within her, and the source of them as well.
Even if this will make her seems like a monster, a heartless woman.
Mirajane is willing to do so, if it for those two, she willing to turned her own already broken heart into ice.
After all, what Mirajane truly fears the most, is not these unstable emotions that Zack brings in her life.
No, what Mirajane Strauss truly fears is the day when she be unable once again, to protect what dear to her, because losing either Lisanna and Elfman is something she will never accept.
That is why, even if that meant becoming a monster, a true Demon, Mirajane is willing to do that, she is willing to even sell her own soul, if that meant she could ensure Elfman and Lisanna are safe, even if that meant, becoming a heart breaker, becoming a cold heartless woman herself.
That is why, while she accepts and acknowledges her feelings, she could not accept them, after all, no matter how foolish, how heartless, or maybe righteous her actions are.
Everything Mirajane does, is for the only family she has left.
That is Mirajane Strauss's resolve, and her only meaning in her life.
As soon Mirajane acknowledges this, and her resolves became anew, the chaotic state of her Magic Power soon stabilized itself.
Erza also realised this as well, that Mirajane, both herself, and her magical states has calmed down.
And because this calmness was both unexpected, and quickly at that, it was too late for the young Valkyrie to react, when Mirajane at blank range fired off a burst of Darkness, similar to a Demon Blast, but weaker since Mirajane did not compress the Darkness Magic before firing at Erza.
The blast of unformed Demon Blast blasted Erza off Mirajane body, even the Heavy Armour that coated Erza's body, was cracked by the sudden attack.
Even so, while being blasted few meters in the air, and the magic armour partly damaged, after all, it wasn't a combat type Magic Item, but a personal type.
Erza switched back to her original magic armour and slowly got up from the crater that the Heavy Armour has created, and stared at Mirajane, who seems to removed her Satan Soul from, turning back to her normal self.
"..."
"..."
The two teenagers just stared at each other, especially Erza, whose eyes slight widen upon seeing Mirajane's current expression.
While it is not unusual to see coldness within those sea blue eyes, however, those cold eyes are normally just filled with indifference and annoyance.
But now?
Those cold eyes that Erza looked at, something felt different, and that something even made Erza feel uncomfortable and uneasy being looked by them, those cold eyes are not just indifference, or the usual annoyances, but complete coldness.
And from the moment when Erza saw those cold eyes, she knew it, she knew she has really messed things up.
"Is… is that your choice?" Erza askes, while Mirajane did not say a word at first, besides turning her back towards Erza.
"Like you said, I was running away from what I feel, I admit it, I did have feelings for that dumb… no, for Zack." Mirajane went, words that caused guilt to filled Erza, knowing this is not the outcome she envisioned when she upfront Mirajane.
No, if anything, this is far from what Erza intentioned for, causing her chest to tighten, and guilt to flow within her.
"You did…?" Erza only said, knowing what Mirajane meant by that word, 'did'.
"Yes, but that just it, I cannot afford to have such feelings, feelings that only makes me weaker." Mirajane only said, as demonic wings formed on her back, and spread them out.
"You…" Erza only can say, while Mirajane flew in the air, showing she is not interested in staying here any longer, or has any interest of listening any further she already had said.
Erza, stared blankly, covering her hands with her face, and soon a sigh came to her.
"This is… not what I intended to do… maybe I shouldn't interfere?" Erza went with a bitter smile, as guilt became more and more thicker inside her.
While Erza and Mirajane might be similar in many ways, there are things when they are not. The reason why all of this backfired.
After all, one's own acknowledgment, does not mean that is a good thing.
Because acknowledging something, is also realising the truth, the truth that many may or may not accept, or take kindly.
As Mirajane said, she acknowledged her feelings, but her resolves, her vow, and her own belief, simply goes against her own acknowledgment.
And just like this, three scars, not physical ones, but mental ones are bounded to happened from this day..
One known as guilt.
The other that bounded to be known as regret.
And the last scar?
Can either be called broken or hollowed.
# # # # # # # # # #
You have no clue how many times I had rewrite this, and each time I do, I always feel something is missing… oh well.
I hope this did not feel too forceful, but it was meant to be.
And you know what else is meant to be? Another time skip, yes, that is right.
Next fairy or chapter will be a backflash of what… kinda happened between Mirajane and Zack, all I can say, do not hate Mirajane too much.
After all, she too has her own problems, and her personal inner demons.
These chapters, Unbottled Feelings was necessary for our MC, because sometimes it is better to break something, and have it renewed.
Especially when this will lead to MC's true personality.
-
Anyway, thanks for reading so far, and I hope you look forward to the next chapters or fairies of this fanfiction.