The Wilds is a living, breathing beast of its own. Our rangers have discovered horrible monstrosities in these woods.
The Red Death impregnates and births horrible creatures that are complete parodies of their original form. It is crucial to never be alone in the forest. Some of the monsters seemed to be designed to kill elves.
A terrible thought.
A terrible, no good, thought.
Note left by an elven ranger in the Seventh outpost in The Wilds.
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Teddy led the charge, deeper into The Wilds. He whistled as if he knew where he was going.
"What's the plan, guys?" Astrin asked, somewhat nervously looking around.
"To find a dragon! Obviously."
"We aren't going to find a dragon, Teddy," Myria said, disappointed. "Because finding one means I could get eaten, and if I get eaten, I would be happy. We all know that will never happen."
Teddy floated, occasionally twirling his staff like a helicopter blade.
"Not with that attitude, you won't!"
Gwyn observed her new… friends? Gwyn wasn't sure what these people were to her. They were odd, but not unpleasant, except for Teddy, a little.
"What are dragons like?" Gwyn asked.
"They're these big fuckin' lizards that shoot fire from their mouth," Teddy said. "They're like the sickest shit ever."
"Not all of them are lizards," Leo scolded. "There are other variants."
"Yeah, but those are like… extinct or whatever." Teddy now leaned backwards as he floated forward. "What I would give just to see a dragon's big dumb face."
The forest was teeming with life. Moss on fallen logs. Mushrooms at the base of the rotted wood. The grass changed color as it was stepped upon, as if to declare it was in pain. Animals jumped from tree to tree and observed the travelers in safety.
The Chosen One saw deer-like creatures stare at them from a distance, yet their antlers were far more magnificent than the deer she was familiar with. No matter which direction she looked, there seemed to be some sort of animal. She was told briefly that she was meant to attend this field trip, not actually participate in the assignment.
So as far as Gwyn was concerned, this was a glorified trip to the zoo.
Those around her didn't seem malicious in their aims. The dark-haired one reminded Gwynevere of a goth. She seemed to be refusing to wear the standard school attire. She was dressed in all black, from head to toe, with exaggerated dark makeup. Her arms were covered in tattoos of cutesy creatures.
The blue-haired one was particularly adorable, stopping to point out every bug she saw, always seeming to grab the venomous ones and ignoring the ones that were perfectly safe to interact with.
The blonde one, the bug girl's brother, seemed composed in his actions. He was very vigilant and careful. Like he was the maintainer of a homeostasis. There was probably a good reason for this, Gwyn surmised.
Then there was the short one. What was there to say about the short one without it being immediately evident upon knowing him for thirty seconds? A little perverse, certainly. Nothing hostile in nature. A little annoying. Well, maybe a lot of annoying. But it appeared as though he was trying to keep everyone's spirits up.
Gwynevere Grim observed those around her as if they were the animals she was supposed to be watching.
After about fifteen minutes of walking, they descended a sloping hill into a narrow outcropping.
"Teddy, can you slow down?" Astrin asked through panted breaths. "Not everyone wants to waste their magic on floating spells."
"I'm sorry your bloodline is not superior to my own. Those who can cast spells endlessly, who were Whisperers of the highest regard!"
He spoke performatively, as though he were trying to get a leading role in a play.
"Who got eaten by a toad?"
"Not a toad aaaannnnnd that was the one time!" Teddy whined.
"One is all it takes," Myria mused.
These elves seemed like a group of oddballs, but they weren't unkind to the Chosen One. But the realization dawned on Gwyn that if she were in trouble, she'd have no means of defending herself. She pushed the nervous thought away, for it would consume her if she wondered too long.
"What do you want to do, Chosen One?" Astrin asked.
"Oh, uh." Gwyn was just happy to have people to be around, since Rodrick was helping with the Wall. "I guess. Just keep walking? But aren't there dangerous creatures around here?"
"We aren't actually that deep in The Wilds," Astrin said. "This is relatively tame in terms of abundance."
"Yeah, the southern border and in the Red Death is. It's where the dangerous creatures often congregate," Leo said, knowledgably.
"Haven't we been heading south for a while now?" Gwyn asked.
"Yep!" Teddy chimed. "I want to see a fuckin' dragon even if it kills me."
"We won't see a dragon, Teddy."
Myria sighed. She seemed to know how Teddy operated pretty well.
"Are you guys good friends?" Gwyn asked.
Teddy flipped everyone off.
"We fuckin' hate each other."
"We were friends since we were kids," Leo said honestly, facing the Chosen One as they walked. "Teddy has always been like this, has to have his way."
Teddy raised his eyebrows.
"But have you ever died?"
"Let's not push our luck, Teddy," Astrin said as she picked up another bug.
Leo slapped it from her hands.
"Venomous!"
She frowned and glared at him. Shortly after, the party's pace slowed.
"You guys are posers."
Teddy stopped because he noticed Astrin had. She was panting, clearly tired.
"Just give me a second," Astrin said. "I am out of shape."
"Here." Myria pointed her catalyst—a black bladed stiletto—to Astrin's back.
"Restore her stamina at the cost of my own,
help her like she's eaten scones."
Astrin noticeably breathed easier after Myria's spell.
"Really? Scones? That's the best you could come up with?" Astrin laughed. "Great. Now I'm hungry."
Myria waved her hand dismissively.
"You know I'm not good at coming up with rhymes on the fly; I like to prepare my spells beforehand."
"Right, and I like to prepare my shits before I have them," Teddy said, like it was supposed to be funny.
Everyone just stared at him blankly.
"What! It's a good joke," Teddy said defensively.
"Sure." Myria looked at the Chosen One. "You tell us. Was that a good joke?" She looked back at Teddy. "She will be the deciding factor."
Suddenly, all eyes were on Gwyn.
Teddy looked desperate, his lip curled and quivered. His eyes seem to grow larger, like a cat's.
"Y-yes…" Gwyn said, unsure.
"Ha! I told you I'm funny."
Teddy gloated and floated. He pumped his fists as if this were the first victory he'd had in a long time.
"She fucking stuttered!" Myria complained. "She obviously doesn't mean it!"
"Words don't lie, Myria," he said tauntingly as he flipped her off again.
Myria did the same, and the twins laughed.
Gwyn found herself chuckling.
Am I actually having a good time?
Something caught the Chosen One's eye again: the black knight. If she called the knight what it was—the King of Terror—her already sleepless nights would contain even more suffering.
Diluting herself was the only way she kept going. She stared for a moment. His antlers twisted and twirled. She swallowed and averted her eyes, which is when she noticed something out of place: A door in the middle of the woods.