Chapter 7
The dreaded day is finally here, yeah, I scream ironically in my head. I was seriously considering bailing on this hangout, but I also think it might be the place where I can finally talk with Stella about whatever is going on with her. It has gotten so much worse; she didn't even want to go with me today. She told me to meet her there and just texted me the address.
I throw my carton-colored sweaters, toiletries, and all other things I think might be necessary, including a fork—I mean, you never know what might happen—inside my travel pack. I think I look pretty plain and casual for a hangout, but I'm not changing my clothes. It's too comfy for me to pass. I'm wearing my favorite sweatshirt, a pair of faded jeans, and my Crocs.
I hurry down the stairs; I don't want to be late. The living room is livelier than usual today, Dad's only friend is watching a game with him.
"Dad, I'm off. Dinner's in the microwave, and don't forget to stuff the leftovers in the refrigerator."
"When will you be back? Saturday…Sunday?"
"As early as I can on Sunday morning, I'm spending just 2 nights and 1 day."
"You sure you will be fine while I'm gone?" He rolls his eyes.
"Go on, kiddo, I will be just fine. I have a full surgery schedule. I won't even notice you're gone. Have fun, make memories." This makes me smile. I haven't left Dad alone at home in like a year, and honestly, I think I'm more worried about myself than I am for him. I'm never good with fun or making memories.
"Alright, bye, Dad, bye Mr. Mark ."
My heart hits as I close the door behind me. I feel my palms getting murky and sweaty even though it's freezing outside. I have a bad feeling about this, but I hop in my car and drive off to Naina's house.
***
Naina's house is as I remember it. The neighborhood was a quiet one, with neatly trimmed hedges and identical rows of houses set back from the street. Naina's house was two stories tall, and it was at the end of the street. Its soft-bright pink paint with blueish trim sets it apart from the other houses. A bay window jutted out over the front garden, which was dotted with purple pansies, lilies, and tall rosemary shrubs.
The front porch still has the swing where we sat, played, and gossiped so many times. I could hear voices echoing from inside; it seems I'm the last to arrive.
Before I could make the silent entry I planned, one girl, Rhoda, had somehow seen me and screamed my name. Like a swarm of bees, everyone gathered outside to welcome. Dramatic entrance, much. I rolled my eyes in my mind.
We were cozily accommodated in the visitor's lounge of the house, which has been converted into a large room. From time to time, my eyes would move to Stella's, and when I tried to stare at her, she would look the other way immediately.
And then there's Naina, whom I have been avoiding eye contact with, though we fake-smiled at each other out of courtesy when I arrived.
I giggled along with them, though I was completely lost in whatever conversation they were having. Every few seconds, someone would squeal, laugh, or dramatically cover their face because of some story about a boy.
They were lying on beds now, while everyone was hurriedly choosing their sleeping partners. We were ten girls altogether, and I looked at the strange and ridiculous pyjamas some of them were wearing. I shook my head, deciding to keep my opinions to myself. If it were before Stella started acting strangely, we could have had so much fun discussing the bizarre PJs.
Apparently, boys were the major topic of the night.
"Honestly, I still can't believe he said that to me," Rhoda said, shaking her head with a smile. "I always thought I was the only one who had a crush on him".
"But you liked it," one girl teased.
Rhoda rolled her eyes, but the smile on her face betrayed her. "Maybe a little."
The room erupted in laughter.
I smiled too, but mostly because everyone else was laughing. I had never really understood the excitement they had over boys. Maybe I'm not really a girl.
"Amelia, what do you think?" someone suddenly asked, cutting into my thoughts.
I blinked, smiling sheepishly, my hands moving to the back of my neck. "About what?"
They laughed.
"See? She wasn't even listening."
"I was," I lied. I didn't want to sound snobbish and nonchalant about the ongoing girls' night.
"Then tell us."
I looked around at their expectant faces and sighed. "I'm sorry, I don't know," I said, my voice weak.
A few of them gasped dramatically, but one person laughed, and we all ended up laughing. This time, I was truly laughing at being caught lying.
But sitting there for two hours, listening to nothing but conversations about boys, fake crushes, and romantic drama, I could feel my patience disappearing.
I looked around the room.
Everyone seemed happy and comfortable.
As I didn't want to ruin their night with my mood, I decided it was time to leave.
"I'm going to use the restroom," I announced.
Nobody questioned me. I guessed that if they didn't see me for a while, they would know I went outside.
I slipped out quietly, finally relieved to escape the noise.
The sky outside had already started changing colors, the golden warmth of the sunset slowly fading into the soft darkness of the evening.
I checked the time. 7:30 p.m. Most people in the neighborhood would already be inside by now, probably having dinner or settling down for the night. The streets wouldn't be empty, but they wouldn't be as busy either.
The icy wind blew into my face, sinking into my skin, goosebumps spread out through my body.
I looked ahead as a gentle breeze moved through the trees, carrying the faint smell of flowers from nearby gardens.
For the first time that evening, I feel like I could think properly. I walked slowly, my hands tucked into my pockets, my mind wandering through different things all at once.
I thought about my siblings. My twins. My Elle and Ellem. As I wondered if they were doing well in school, my heart beat raised a notch.
I know Elle might always seem like a bubbly person, but I know deep down that she's such a guarded person. A sigh escaped my lips as my shoulders slouched in defeat.
I thought about myself.
I felt like I was constantly searching for answers I wasn't even sure I wanted. My mind strayed to my future, one I didn't even know if it was going to be possible.
I thought about Dad, back at home, probably enjoying his friend's company. My lips pulled up as I imagined that scenario.
I stopped to squat on the road path as I remembered that the award ceremony was in a few weeks and I hadn't heard back from 'the person' yet. I wondered if something bad had happened to her or if they had finally gotten to her.
I shook the thought away, as they say negative thinking yields negative results.
Absorbed in my thoughts, I didn't realize how far I had walked until the familiar houses around me started disappearing. The sounds of cars passing by disappeared until the only thing I could hear was the soft crunch of my footsteps against the ground.
I slowed down, slightly panicking.
When did I get here? I quickly tried to play backwards with my thoughts, but all to no avail. I am a mess right now. Of course, my mind would be even worse.
The small neighborhood path I had been walking on had turned into a narrow trail surrounded by tall grass and trees. A path I knew existed, but one I rarely came near.
The forest path. I should have turned back. I should turn back. That was the obvious thing to do, but my feet refused to move.