Noon.
Sakurai Saki noted a critical omission: Hayasaka Ai did not invite him to eat lunch together.
This cemented a growing suspicion—their relationship had not ascended to the hallowed ground of Official Coupledom.
As any student knows, in Japan, lunch is a sacred ritual for confirmed pairs. They find a secluded corner, exchange love-laced whispers, and engage in mutual feeding—a spectacle guaranteed to earn a thousand mental 'die, die, die' rays from any single bystander like Ishigami Yu.
Hayasaka Ai's invitation never came. The sting was surprisingly sharp.
He picked up his bento and walked out of the classroom alone.
Hayasaka Ai watched his retreating back. She did want to eat with him, but…
'If we have lunch together, it'll be as good as a public announcement!'
The entire school, boys and girls alike, would know she and Sakura-chan were an item. The thought sent a wave of paralyzing shyness through her. At the very least, she couldn't be the one to make the first move.
Sakurai Saki pushed open the Student Council door.
"SHIROGANE—!!!"
He bellowed, then froze.
The figure at the president's desk looked up from his lunch.
"…Who are you?"
Who are you? Someone important. Someone unforgettable!
Sakurai felt like he'd stumbled into the climax of Your Name; he couldn't process the face before him.
"I am Shirogane Miyuki!" the president declared.
"No. No. Where are your trademark luggage-under-eyes? That face that looks like it's been ground through a black company meat-grinder for a decade?" Sakurai circled the desk, staring with blatant disbelief before finally sitting down opposite him.
"I've been… sleeping better lately. More restful." Shirogane ran a hand through his hair, a newly confident gesture. He'd received an unprecedented number of greetings in the halls today, several from girls. It could only mean one thing: Shirogane Miyuki was finally entering the realm of the visibly datable!
"It's unnatural, Shirogane. I can't accept this new character design! I don't understand it!" Sakurai's protest was theatrical. Imagine a character whose appeal was a solid '1' suddenly removing his glasses and jumping to a '12' on the attractiveness scale. It broke the rules of narrative physics.
"The way you phrase it…"
"Never mind. Your sudden rise in popularity is none of my business." Sakurai shot him a final, scrutinizing look and grudgingly accepted the new reality.
Shirogane's mood was buoyant. If even Sakurai was this shocked, becoming a full-fledged 'ikemen' was surely within reach.
…Wait.
What good was being 'popular,' exactly?
"Sakurai… I've realized something. I don't actually have any girls I want to date…" Shirogane had found the fatal flaw in his plan.
"How do you know?" Sakurai asked, genuinely curious as he unpacked his bento.
"Everyone feels like… just a friend. And I treat them the same." Shirogane stroked his newly smooth chin.
Sakurai picked up a crispy fried shrimp. "Shirogane, have you heard the phrase 'start as friends'? Dating isn't an on/off switch. But honestly, if you wanted to, you could confess to just about anyone right now and have a decent shot." There were, in fact, several girls who secretly admired the diligent, intense president.
"No, Sakurai, you misunderstand. I mean I don't have a girl I like." That was the core issue. He understood the mechanics; he lacked the target.
"Hmm?" Sakurai finished his shrimp. "If you don't even like anyone, why force it? Dating for the sake of having a girlfriend is its own kind of weird."
Shirogane covered his face with his hands, his voice mournful. "But if I don't capitalize on this now, I feel like my window will slam shut!" No one wanted to approach the guy with the 'murderous study glare.' He knew why his hallway had been a social desert for so long.
"Fine, it's your life. Do what you want." Sakurai shrugged, then added with a casual, almost offhand boast, "Not my problem anyway. I have a girlfriend."
"It's just a girlfriend, what's the big… Hmm?!" Shirogane's head snapped up. "A girlfriend?!"
Sakurai Saki had a girlfriend?
Shirogane leaned in, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "…Who is it?"
"Hayasaka-san." Sakurai stated it as a simple fact. Shirogane was his best friend—and a vault. The information was safe here.
"Sakurai. Let me verify something first." Shirogane swallowed hard. "Does… Hayasaka-san know she's your girlfriend?"
The question hung in the air, so sharp it seemed to freeze the room. It was a level of brutal insight Sakurai hadn't expected from Shirogane.
"…"
"When did you two even start dating?"
Sakurai's silence deepened.
"And why the sudden switch from 'Ai-chan' back to 'Hayasaka-san'?" Shirogane wasn't just supporting his friend; he was surgically dissecting the corpse of his argument.
Sakurai Saki bit down viciously on a piece of tamagoyaki. "I kissed her."
"Oh." Shirogane's reaction was disappointingly flat. "Hayasaka-san is a gyaru. That kind of physical contact isn't exactly rare for her, right? Didn't she hug you all the time last semester?"
To be honest, Shirogane would have preferred Sakurai end up with Fujiwara Chika. Hayasaka Ai always struck him as… performative. Like she was wearing a mask. She wasn't in the Student Council, and he'd heard she spent her after-school hours working to fund her fashion—though darker rumors of 'compensated dating' swirled, which he dismissed. But if Sakurai dated her, between both their part-time jobs, they'd have scant time together. It felt like a relationship built on shaky ground.
"Shirogane, don't comment on things you don't understand," Sakurai stated, his voice cool.
"Sorry." Shirogane's apology was genuine.
"Forget it." Sakurai changed tack. His original purpose for coming had been to ask how to get closer to a girlfriend—a paradox in itself. If you weren't close, she wouldn't be your girlfriend. The progression should be natural.
"Shirogane. How does one become more… affectionate with a girlfriend?"
"You're asking me?" Shirogane pointed to his own nose. Me? Shirogane Miyuki? You're asking the guy whose romantic experience is largely theoretical? What should I cite, transmigration memories?
"Who else can I ask?" Sakurai retorted. Discussing this with Ishigami Yu was not an option.
"Let's table that." Shirogane set down his chopsticks, his expression turning gravely serious. "First, a more pressing issue: What are you going to do about Fujiwara-kun?"
"Maintain the status quo."
"You mean… stringing two people along?" Shirogane's voice was thick with disbelief.
"No. Fujiwara Secretary and I are not dating." Sakurai looked genuinely puzzled.
Shirogane Miyuki: "…"
But the way you interact is couple-coded to the bone! The feeding, the hugging… a kiss would be the next logical step!
"Sakurai. A man can be a scumbag. But he shouldn't be a clueless scumbag. If you're going to hurt people, at least have the conviction to see it through." It was a harsh, pragmatic take. He didn't want his friend to be a villain, but he wanted even less for him to be a vacillating source of greater pain.
Sakurai Saki rubbed his temples. "Are you suggesting that while dating Hayasaka-san, I should secretly date Fujiwara Secretary?"
He slammed a hand on the table. "That's the very definition of being a scumbag!"
He looked at Shirogane with profound disappointment. "I misjudged you, Shirogane. You… you dead scumbag!"
At the entrance to the Student Council, little Miko Iino, who had come to drop off paperwork, stood frozen, the documents held like a shield before her face.
So President Shirogane… is a scumbag!
I actually thought he was a decent person!
"How awful!" she whispered, a storm of righteous indignation brewing in her chest.
Such a person was unfit for office! In the next election, she would run! She would expose him and drag this corrupt, two-timing scumbag down from his presidential pedestal!
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