I had no special mood to travel with him. I do not like him, his attitude, everything. And here about kilometers away, in Switzerland, TOGETHER? Impossible.
I always noticed him, noticing me. I wanted to ask about those types of behavior. I was sure about the formalities we had shown to his family. Those fake smiles suited us perfectly. But his noticeable behavior was not one of his formalities. It is normal, in different ways, to notice an unknown person. He only knows me by my name. That does not mean you will dive into the sea even after knowing you can not swim.
I feel like, if days keep continuing in that way, I will hate him before it crosses the limit. None of us was ready for the marriage. None of us accepted each other. It is becoming tough for me. I can not keep Honeymoon on the list of work behind. It is not a football World Cup, which always comes even after four years. It somehow becomes a certain way, I think. We had no option. We chose a way that was left for us. We shall keep in mind that nothing will work. I had decided before that I would share with him most of the things. But I have so many doubts about his interest in either listening to or understanding. Cause I will never want to face the moment when he is feeling bored, awful, or disgusting. Cause it is all as serious as a final match is. Even after we are players from different countries, we can play a match, which doesn't mean he will wait and let me win this time. I just can not let it happen. I wanted to tell him but I changed my decision, while he was sleeping on his private plane.
Stanserhorn, Ennetmoos
Somebody cares about my choices. Why does the place feel like someone killed me and God sent me to heaven? Wherever I put my eyes, I see all green. Some of the areas were covered with clouds, and when I looked down, they separated magically and let me watch the lake. We booked a TITLIS Rotair, as it was moving 360 degrees, we were watching the panoramic view of steep rocks, mountains with covered snow, and deep crevasses. My mouth was wide open after seeing the wonder of nature. I captured a hundred pictures and filmed longer videos. It refreshed my whole mind. I was enjoying myself so much while wishing the time to stop here, forever. When I spent more than 10 hours there, I did not know.
After coming back to the hotel, we had dinner. I was so hungry, but the amazement of nature did not let me feel anything. After dinner, I came to the room and fell asleep. I was so tired that my body did not want to sit anywhere. I did not know how long I remained asleep. Nobody disturbed me so that I could make myself wakened for a coffee. I was trying to look clearly. My eyes were heavy and sleepy. I could not see anything properly. But I tried hard, as it was letting me watch an unwanted scene. Leno, with an old book in hand, was reading silently. He did not notice me, thank God. I again tried to fall asleep, "Are you feeling okay?" I literally got a shock. I still do not know why he speaks while holding his eyes on another thing, and it always shocks me. I do not like those. I do not like anything about him. He is such a trash who always acts like a gentleman. When will he know he never was a?
"I am. Why?" I asked while muttering the worst feedback under my breath. He closed his book and kept it on the table after the bed. He lies down under the blanket, facing me with his unreadable mouth. I was looking up at his face, guessing about the next movements. "No, you quickly came upstairs and fell asleep. I thought you were not feeling okay." He showed his fake care, and each time, I hated that. Faking a thing can not always be acceptable. He should have known after holding an affluent background. I did not ask for it. I asked nothing. I only want him to know that although we have signed papers. Still, we consider ourselves as husband-wife, I can not be more than that.