Azra'il - POV
The hot springs of Hosenka were, according to legends and tourist pamphlets, legendary for a reason. I, as a professional sceptic with a doctorate in universal disappointments, had heard the stories. Exhausted travellers who swore that a single, brief dip in those waters cured aches that had lasted for decades. Warriors who claimed the water rejuvenated the skin and relaxed muscles they didn't even know they had. Mages who whispered of the mental clarity the spring provided. I thought it was all an exaggeration, a well-executed marketing campaign by a tourist village trying to lure unsuspecting visitors with promises of miracles.
I was completely, absolutely, and gloriously wrong.
The women's section of the baths… the word "impressive" didn't do it justice. It would be like calling a supernova "a bit of a sparkle."
The space was enormous, far larger than I could have expected from a simple inn, even a five-star one. Natural rocks, dark and polished by time and constant water, formed a series of pools of different sizes and depths, interconnected by small, gentle waterfalls that created a constant and hypnotic symphony, a liquid murmur that seemed to wash not only the body but also the soul. Steam rose in lazy, dense waves, partially obscuring the view, but never completely, giving the place an ethereal, almost dreamlike atmosphere, as if we had entered a forgotten sanctuary, a piece of paradise stolen from the gods.
Paper lanterns, with bamboo frames and delicate ideograms, were strategically placed among the rocks, their golden, trembling light reflecting on the milky surface of the water, creating dancing patterns on the damp stone walls. Tall, verdant bamboo grew in clusters in the corners, its leaves rustling softly in the night breeze that filtered through the openings in the ceiling. And the ceiling… the ceiling was partially open, a window to the infinite, revealing a darkening sky, a deep indigo velvet where the first stars of the night were twinkling shyly, like diamonds cast upon a dark cloak.
And the water… ah, the water. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced in this life. Different from the volcanic hot springs of Eldoria IV, which smelt of sulphur and promised to remove your skin along with the tension. Different from the liquid crystal fountains of Xylos, which healed but left an irritating residual glow for days.
This water had a slightly milky, almost pearlescent colour, a result, I supposed, of the unique minerals of this mountain. The heat was perfect. Not hot enough to scald, not lukewarm enough to be disappointing. It was a heat that penetrated the muscles in a way that felt almost… intentional, conscious. As if the water itself knew exactly where you were tense, where the pain of past battles was hiding, and focused its healing embrace there.
A soft, complex scent hung in the air. Sulphur, yes, the trademark of any self-respecting hot spring, but mixed with something unmistakably floral. Jasmine, perhaps. Or night-blooming wisteria. It was intoxicating.
(This is…)
[Exceptional. Completely outside of expected parameters,] Eos's voice sounded in my mind, and for the first time in a long while, I detected a note of genuine surprise in her transmission. [The mineral composition of this water is fascinating, Azra'il. Detecting traces of liquid quartz, ionic magnesium, and at least three compounds not present in my elemental database. The properties are demonstrably anti-inflammatory, fast-acting muscle relaxants, and, curiously, there is something here that seems to stimulate cellular regeneration on a subtle level.]
(In short: you can just say it's very, very good, Eos. Without the scientific jargon, please.)
[It is very, very good.]
(Thank you. Sometimes, simplicity works.)
A long, involuntary sigh escaped my lips as I sank deeper into the water, letting the heat and the liquid silk envelop me up to my shoulders. The tension I didn't even know I was carrying from the journey, from the anticipation of the mission, from the simple act of existing amidst that band of lunatics, began to melt away. My wolf ears, usually on alert, flattened in pure and utter contentment, and my submerged tail floated lazily, like a dormant white serpent.
(This… this is dangerously good.)
[How so, 'dangerous'? The toxicity levels are nil.]
(If I relax too much in this place, I'll end up falling asleep here. For a week.)
[You haven't had what humans call 'deep sleep' in at least three of your last lives, Azra'il. It would be an interesting experience to observe and record.]
(Exactly. And frightening. Imagine the accumulation of bizarre dreams I would have.)
I leaned my head back against the warm, smooth rocks, closing my eyes. For a few precious minutes, there was only the soft sound of the water, the heat embracing my body, and a peace that was so rare in my life it almost scared me.
Then, of course, like all peace in my life, it was abruptly interrupted. I heard the voices.
"—you don't need to be so nervous, Lucy. It's just a bath. You have a bath every day, don't you?" Erza's voice, patient, but with that steel edge of someone about to lose their composure.
"I'M NOT nervous! Why would I be nervous? It's just water. And steam. And collective nudity. Completely normal!" Lucy's voice, too high, too fast, the voice of someone who is, undeniably, very nervous.
"You're trembling like a leaf."
"It's the cold from the changing room! Very cold!"
"We are literally next to a hot spring that is emitting clouds of steam. The air here is about thirty degrees."
"It's… it's the thermal contrast! Yes, that's it! The shock between the cold and the hot makes me tremble!"
I opened one eye, just one, a slow, lazy smile forming on my lips. The show was about to begin.
The changing room door, a sliding panel of wood and paper, opened, and the first to enter was Erza. She was wrapped in a white, fluffy towel that, to my brain which had suddenly decided to stop thinking logically, seemed too small. The towel went from the top of her chest to the middle of her thighs, leaving a lot of… room… for the imagination. And mine, suddenly, was working at full throttle.
Erza's body was that of a warrior; there was no doubt about it. Every inch of it was a testament to years of relentless training and countless battles. Defined, long muscles in her arms and legs, a firm abdomen that the towel, as it moved, partially revealed. Strong shoulders, a straight back, the impeccable posture of a queen. But at the same time, it was undeniably, almost painfully, feminine. There were soft curves in the right places, a slim waist that widened to hips that promised strength and balance. Generous breasts that the towel could barely contain, creating a cleavage that I, with all my ancestral willpower, was trying very, very hard not to stare at. Long, toned, and strong legs, with a few fine, silvery scars that told stories of bravery.
And her hair, that damned scarlet hair, was loose, damp, falling in heavy waves over her shoulders, the vibrant colour contrasting with her pale skin and the white towel.
(Oh. By the abysses and the stars.)
[Your heart rate has just accelerated by 37%, Azra'il. A significant and, I must add, quite predictable physiological response,] Eos commented in my mind, with the perfect timing of a scientist recording the results of a successful experiment.
(Shut your circuit-mouth, Eos. Not now.)
I felt something… stir. Wake up. Under the water. With an interest that was not welcome at that moment.
(No. Not now. Behave.)
[Your physiological response vehemently disagrees with your order. The data indicates a clear…]
(EOS, I SWEAR BY ALL THAT IS HOLY AND UNHOLY, IF YOU FINISH THAT SENTENCE I WILL DISMANTLE YOU AND USE YOUR PARTS TO MAKE A TOASTER!)
[…I am merely reporting the collected data. With accuracy.]
I discreetly adjusted my position in the pool, bringing my legs closer to my body in a pathetic attempt at discretion. The milky water helped to hide the… situation, but I didn't want to risk a false move.
Erza's brown eyes, not yet fully adjusted to the steam, scanned the baths until they found me.
And they stopped. Froze.
For a long moment that felt like it lasted a small geological era, she just… stared. Her chin slightly dropped, her lips parted.
I was leaning back against the rocks, as casually as I could manage, my arms resting lazily on the edges of the pool, the milky water at chest level, hiding most of me. My pale skin, almost luminescent under the lantern light, contrasted with the dark rock and the milky water. My white wolf ears were flattened in a state of relaxation that I was now struggling to maintain, and my white tail with its dark tip was floating lazily on the surface behind me, the only sign of relaxed life.
And I knew exactly what she was seeing. A tall, androgynous body. Not completely feminine like Lucy's, nor rigidly masculine like Gray's. Something… in between. Something that had always confused and fascinated people. Broad shoulders for my frame, yes, but with an elegant line. Defined collarbones visible above the waterline. The suggested, but not exaggerated, outline of modest breasts under the pearlescent surface. A waist that descended in soft, straight lines, without the pronounced curves of Erza or Lucy, but which widened subtly at the hips. An exotic beauty, as they used to describe it. The kind of beauty that didn't fit into conventional categories and which, for that very reason, made people look twice, trying to decipher, trying to understand. Some found it confusing, strange. Others, as Anastasia had once told me, found it fascinating, a unique harmony.
And from the way Erza was looking at me, with her wide eyes and bated breath, she definitely seemed to be in the second group.
"A-A-Azra'il!" Her voice finally came out, strangled, as if she had forgotten how to use her lungs. "Y-you… you're already here!"
"I arrived a few minutes ago," I replied, keeping my voice as calm and bored as possible, despite the emergency situation unfolding under the water. "The water, as promised, is excellent."
"Ah. Yes. Good. Brilliant. Marvellous. That's good." Erza was still standing at the edge of the bathing area, looking completely lost, not knowing what to do with her own hands, which were clenching and unclenching on the towel. "It's… it's big, isn't it? The space. Quite big. Very."
"It is," I agreed.
"And… and there are a lot of pools."
"Several, yes."
"And the steam. A lot, a lot of steam."
"Quite a bit, indeed."
Lucy, finally, entered right behind her, also wrapped in a towel, using Erza as a sort of human shield against whatever she feared seeing. Lucy's body was different from Erza's, softer, less marked by battles, but with generous curves that would make any man (and, apparently, some celestial spirits) lose their breath. Fair, smooth skin. Her long blonde hair was tied up in a messy, improvised bun. Her brown eyes met mine for a split second, widened in panic and recognition, and immediately darted to the ceiling, her face flushing furiously.
(She's acting extremely strangely,) I thought.
[Allow me to remind you, Azra'il, that she has already been in your body. She is not just imagining what is under that water. She knows. And, apparently, the memory is rather… striking for her.]
(Ah. Right. True. That small, inconvenient body-swap incident. I almost forgot.)
Lucy positioned herself even further behind Erza, like a frightened fledgling hiding behind its mother, and peeked over the redhead's shoulder, her eyes carefully fixed on my FACE, and on no, absolutely no, other place below my neck line.
"Is the water good?" Lucy asked, her voice slightly shrill and rushed.
"Very good," I replied.
"That's good. Brilliant. Nice." She still hadn't moved. "It's quite… open, isn't it? The pool. Very spacious. And there's… a lot of water, covering things. Hiding… important… things."
Erza, who seemed to be slowly regaining her mental faculties, looked at Lucy with confusion. "Lucy, what are you talking about? Why are you acting so strangely?"
"I'M NOT ACTING STRANGELY! I'M PERFECTLY NORMAL!" she replied, with a normality that was anything but normal.
"You're practically hiding behind me as if I were a suit of armour."
"I'm just… worried! That's it! Worried about the… the temperature! Of the water! It could be very, very hot!"
"Lucy, you haven't even touched the water yet."
"It's what they call… prevention! An excess of caution!"
Erza frowned, clearly trying to understand Lucy's non-existent logic. But then, her eyes, as she looked at Lucy's panic, widened slightly, as if a light bulb had finally gone on in her mind.
"Wait a moment. You… you're nervous because of…" She made a vague and awkward gesture in my direction, her face starting to blush again at the mere implication. "…because of Azra'il?"
"N-no! Of course not! I mean, yes, a little, but not in the way you're thinking! It's just that… it's just that I've already… I BODY-SWAPPED with her that time, you remember?! And I SAW… I mean, I was IN her body, so technically it was MY body temporarily, but I saw and I felt and I KNOW what… what… YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!" Lucy was now in a state of total panic and embarrassment, the words tumbling out.
Erza's face turned completely and absolutely red. Like a stop sign. "Ah," she said, her voice a thread. She coughed, looking away at the steam, at the lanterns, at anywhere that wasn't me. "That."
"THAT! Exactly! That 'that'! And now, every time I look at her, even if it's just her shoulders out, I… I REMEMBER, and it's very, very, very embarrassing!"
"I… I understand," Erza managed to murmur.
"Of course you understand! You've been her best friend for years! You've probably seen her naked a thousand times, not that I'm asking if you've seen her naked! I don't want to know! I already know too much and have seen too much!"
Erza, by this point, looked genuinely as if she wished the floor would swallow her, or that she could requip a suit of armour that would make her invisible.
And I, in my corner, observed this whole delicious exchange with a smile I could no longer contain, despite my own growing… logistical problem under the water.
"Excuse me, you two do know I'm right here, don't you?" I said, with the most innocent tone in the world. "And that I'm hearing every word of this fascinating conversation about my anatomy and the trauma it apparently causes?"
"SHUT UP, AZRA'IL!" Lucy and Erza said in a unison so perfect it made me smile even more.
"Alright, alright. Just checking. But seriously now," I rested my head on the rocks, boredom starting to take over again, "are you two going to get in or are you going to stand there until the pool water evaporates and we can walk to the other side?"
Erza swallowed hard, and her brown eyes, against her better judgement, returned to me.
And, inevitably, they drifted downwards.
They followed the line of my neck, my collarbone, my shoulders, to the point where the treacherous, milky water began to hide… the rest.
She looked away so quickly she nearly dislocated her neck, her face on fire again.
(Ah, yes. She was definitely looking at me.)
[Obviously. Just as you were looking at her. You are both ridiculous and predictable.]
(Yes. So what? It's fun.)
"O-of course we're getting in," Erza said, her voice failing a little. "We were just… acclimatising."
She moved stiffly.
"Erza."
"Yes?"
"The pool is this way," I pointed.
"I know perfectly well where the bloody pool is!"
"Then why are you walking towards the changing room?"
Erza stopped, realising that in her state of panic, she was indeed going in the completely wrong direction. "I… I was just… checking the exits! Strategic planning!"
"Hmm."
"It's true! I was!"
"I didn't say a word."
"Your 'hmm' said a lot, a whole lot, Azra'il!"
Lucy, apparently deciding that standing still was worse than moving, shot past Erza and went to the edge of the pool, but on the complete opposite side from me. As far as possible, as if there were an invisible force field around me.
She sat on the edge first, her feet entering the water cautiously, her eyes carefully fixed on any spot on the ceiling that wasn't in my direction. "Oh!" Her eyes widened in surprise and pleasure. "Wow. This is… wow. This is wonderful."
"I told you it was good," I commented.
"Good is an understatement that should be illegal," Lucy replied, sliding into the water with a groan of pure and utter satisfaction. "This is… this is incredible. Divine." She settled as deep as she could, the milky water reaching her chin, as if she were determined to keep most of her body, and her view of my body, completely submerged and safe.
And Erza. Poor, tortured Erza was still standing at the edge, looking at the water as if it were a mined battlefield, full of enemies and difficult decisions.
"Erza," I called, with a voice that was a mixture of amusement and a genuine pang of impatience. "You'll grow roots there if you take any longer."
"I'm not taking long! I'm just… preparing. Mentally. For relaxation."
"Mentally preparing to relax? Little Red, that's a paradox. And a clear sign that you need to relax more."
"It's an important process for a warrior!"
"You've faced literal demons, monsters from nightmares, and an entire army of dark mages, and you've won. And now you're having an existential crisis about getting into a simple hot spring."
"THIS IS DIFFERENT!" she almost shouted.
"And how, exactly?"
"Because…" Her eyes, those traitors, went to me again, to my face, to my neck, to my shoulders, to the treacherous water that covered the rest. "Because it is! And that's that!"
She finally seemed to gather a shred of her legendary courage, perhaps out of sheer irritation at my provocations. She descended the stones with careful steps and, upon reaching the edge of the pool, a few metres from where I was, she hesitated one last time.
"Can you… can you please close your eyes for a moment?" she asked, and her voice was a whisper, almost inaudible, laden with an embarrassment that was almost palpable.
"And why would I do that?"
"Because… because you just should! Please!"
"Erza, with all due respect, you've bathed with Natsu and Gray dozens of times. Probably more. You have no shame about your body. Far from it."
"With them it's completely different!"
"And why is it different with me?"
"Because… because…" She stopped, frustration written on her face, clearly unable to formulate a logical answer. "…because you, Azra'il Weiss, are you! And that's why it's different!"
(Interesting. Very, very interesting.)
[She has basically admitted it. Out loud. Albeit obliquely and in the midst of a panic attack. She is not ashamed to show herself to other men or women. She is only ashamed to show herself to… you.]
(I've noticed. And it's deliciously… complicated.)
[This, Azra'il, means something.]
(Yes. I know perfectly well what it means.)
With a sigh that was pure, theatrical surrender, I closed my eyes. "There. Eyes closed. You can do your… dramatic dive in safety now."
I heard the sound of movement. The soft rustle of a towel being removed. The delicate sound of water being displaced, not a big splash, but a gentle slide.
(Don't open your eyes. Don't open your eyes. Don't be a complete and utter scoundrel. Don't open your eyes.)
[Your heart rate is at 120 beats per minute, Azra'il. And the situation… under the water, is becoming… statistically obvious.]
(EOS. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL, I SWEAR I WILL—)
[I am just reporting the biometric data. It is my job.]
A soft sigh, very similar to the one I had given when I got in, sounded near me. Much closer than I had expected.
"Okay," Erza's voice said, and it seemed to come from right beside me. "You can… you can open them."
And I opened them.
And, for an instant, I deeply regretted having closed my eyes in the first place. Or perhaps I was grateful for having had the chance to see her like this. I wasn't sure which of the two emotions was stronger.
Erza was less than two metres from me.
The milky, hot water reached the level of her breasts, but it was treacherously, wonderfully, partially translucent. I could see the soft outlines. The tantalising suggestions. The perfect shape of her breasts, partially submerged and perked up by the water. The elegant curve of her waist deepening. The delicate shadow of her hips widening beneath the surface.
Her scarlet hair, now wet, floated around her like a halo of liquid fire. Droplets of hot water shone on her pale skin, on her shoulders, on her neck, on her perfectly drawn collarbone, like tiny jewels.
(Oh, no. No, no, no. This is a serious problem.)
[Your physiological response, Azra'il, is currently—]
(I KNOW, EOS. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT'S LIKE. PLEASE BE QUIET.)
I crossed my legs under the water as much as I could, praying to all the forgotten deities I knew.
And her eyes. Ah, her eyes. Her brown eyes met mine.
And they stayed there. Fixed. For a long, long moment.
Then, they descended. Slowly. Without haste.
She was, without a shadow of a doubt, looking at me too. And she wasn't hiding it very well. Her brown eyes traced my form with an intensity so keen it was almost palpable.
(She's looking at me. With… interest.)
[Yes. And you two, at this very moment, are staring at each other like two curious predators who don't know whether to attack or flee. It is embarrassing to watch, honestly. And fascinating, from an anthropological point of view.]
"What is it?" Erza's voice finally came out, soft, almost a whisper, realising that I had caught her in the act.
"Nothing," I replied, my own voice a little hoarser than usual.
"You… you were looking at me."
"Yes. And you were looking at me too," I retorted.
And Erza's face, once again, exploded into a violent red. "I-I wasn't! Not at all!"
"Yes, you were. And for quite a while, actually."
"I… I was looking at the… at the ROCKS! The rocks that are right behind you! They are… they are very, very interesting rocks! With a unique texture!"
"Ah, yes. The rocks."
"Yes! Them!"
"The rocks that are, coincidentally, located exactly behind me."
"Exactly!"
"So, explain to me," I tilted my head, with a smile of pure mischief beginning to appear, "why your eyes, which were so interested in the 'rocks', were, in fact, focused more or less at the level of my chest?"
The sound Erza made at that moment was not exactly human. It was something between a squeak, a choke, and the sound of an operating system crashing.
On the other side of the vast pool, Lucy, who had been watching the scene with wide eyes from over the surface of the water, sank completely, like a panicking submarine, until only the top of her head and a few strands of blonde hair were visible.
"This is very, very embarrassing to watch," the bubbles that rose to the surface said, with a voice that sounded suspiciously like hers.
"Then why don't you stop watching and go somewhere else?" I suggested, without taking my eyes off a now completely mortified Erza.
"And I have nowhere else to look! Everywhere I look in this bloody pool, there's one of you two embarrassing each other in a way that gives me second-hand shame!"
"You can always close your eyes and meditate."
"And miss the opportunity to see you two finally sort it out once and for all? NEVER."
"Ah, so you do want to watch, after all."
"I— no— that's not what I meant— ARGH!" Lucy sank into the water again, in a bubbling of pure frustration. "YOU TWO ARE COMPLETELY AND ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE!"
"You've already said that about seventeen times since we arrived," I commented.
"And I'll keep saying it until it stops being true!" her voice came, muffled by the water.
I tilted my head, deciding it was time to change the focus of my torture. "You know, Lucy," I said, in a casual tone, but loud enough for her to hear clearly. "If my presence bothers you so much, you could have just waited to have your bath at another time, don't you think?"
"And leave Erza here, alone, at your mercy?! No way! I'm a good friend!"
"And why would she be 'at my mercy'? She's Titania. She can take care of herself."
"Because— because—" Lucy seemed to realise, mid-sentence, that she didn't have a good logical answer to that. "Because she would! And that's that!"
"Hmm. Interesting." A slow smile formed on my lips. "Or… could it be that maybe you're just a little disappointed, Lucy, that it's not our dear Mirajane here in this pool with you?"
The sound Lucy made this time was definitely a choke. She emerged from the water coughing and spluttering, her face red with fury and, most importantly, shame. "W-W-WHAT?! WHAT THE DEVIL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!"
"I'm just making an observation. I bet you'd secretly prefer her company in the bath instead of mine and Erza's." I rested my chin on my hand, with an air of false consideration. "And I, honestly, completely understand. Mira is really very beautiful."
"I don't— that's not— WHERE, IN THE NAME OF ALL THE CELESTIAL SPIRITS, DID YOU GET SUCH AN ABSURD IDEA?!"
"Especially with a few less clothes on," I continued, relentlessly.
Lucy genuinely choked this time, and a considerable amount of hot spring water probably went up her nose. She emerged coughing and sneezing violently. "Y-Y-YOU— how do you— when did you see her with less— I DON'T WANT TO KNOW! LESS CLOTHES?!"
"Ah, you haven't seen? That photo shoot for last month's Sorcerer magazine," I shrugged lightly, as if I were just commenting on the weather. "Mira was… stunning. Frankly. That white swimsuit she wore left very, very little to the imagination. The way the wet fabric clung to her curves… it was a true work of art."
"STOP! STOP IT NOW! STOP IMMEDIATELY!" Lucy was completely, totally, and irredeemably red now, a spectacle of pure humiliation, her small, delicate hands covering her ears firmly. "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS! I DON'T WANT TO IMAGINE THIS!"
"You don't? But I thought you, as an appreciator of beauty, would like to know the details of how—"
"AZRA'IL, THAT'S ENOUGH!"
The voice that interrupted me was not Lucy's, but Erza's. And her tone was dangerously, almost lethally, calm. I, who had been so focused on my psychological torture of the poor celestial mage, hadn't even noticed, but Titania, at some point, had moved. Before I could even react, she was beside me. So close that our arms were brushing under the water. And the fingers of her hand, cold and surprisingly strong, found one of my wolf ears.
And pinched. Hard.
"OW! WHAT THE DEVIL?!" I pulled away instinctively, my whole body shivering at the unexpected sensation, my ear throbbing. "What's your problem, Erza?! Have you gone mad?!"
"You were being irritating," Erza said, her voice still in that dangerously calm tone, which was infinitely more frightening than if she were shouting.
"I was just… having a cultural conversation with Lucy!"
"No. You were describing another woman. In graphic detail." Her fingers, I noticed, were still dangerously and tantalisingly close to my sensitive ears. "And about her clothes. Or, more specifically, about the lack of them."
"It was about Mirajane, not about me or about you. And why do you care about it, anyway?"
Erza opened her mouth. Closed it. Opened it again. And her face, for the tenth time that night, turned completely and absolutely red. "I-I don't care! Not at all! I just… it's… it's inappropriate! We're in a public bath! With other people! And it's not the place to be describing… describing… the… the body of other women!"
"Hmm. And would you prefer, by any chance, that I describe yours?"
The sound Erza made at that moment, I swear by all my ancestors, was almost supersonic. A mixture of a panic-squeak and a choke. She, in an act of pure and absolute shame, pinched my ear again.
"OW! Erza! Stop that!"
"YOU DESERVE IT!" she hissed.
"It was just a question! A hypothetical question!"
"It was a COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY INDECENT question!"
"My dear, all my questions are, in some way, indecent. You should be used to it by now, after so many years."
"I WILL NEVER, EVER, GET USED TO YOU, YOU IRRITATING WHITE WOLF!"
On the other side of the vast pool, Lucy, who had finally stopped coughing but was still as red as a pepper, was watching our small, intimate brawl with the expression of someone who has given up trying to understand our dynamic. "You two…" she said slowly, with the voice of someone narrating a wildlife documentary, "…are very strange."
"Thank you. It's part of our charm," I replied.
"Erza just pinched you for the second time. In an apparently sensitive place. And you… you are smiling."
It was true. I was. I couldn't help it. "Ah, that," I said, with the air of one revealing a great secret. "My ears. They are… extremely sensitive. But not, necessarily, in a bad way."
Erza, who was still dangerously close and with her hand raised for a third and likely pinch, froze. "…Sensitive?"
"Quite," I confirmed.
"So… so when I pinched you, just now…"
"It was… quite… interesting," I completed, with a smirk that was pure and unadulterated provocation.
And Erza's face, if it were humanly possible, went through at least five new shades of red in less than three seconds, each one more intense than the last. She moved away from me so quickly she almost slipped on the wet stones, creating a small wave.
"I-I DIDN'T KNOW! I SWEAR I DIDN'T KNOW!"
"Well, now you do. For future reference," I said, with the utmost naturalness.
"I didn't… this isn't… I just wanted… I just wanted to PUNISH you!" she insisted, her voice full of a desperation that was adorable.
"And you did, in fact, punish me. In a very… particular and memorable way, I must say."
"STOP MAKING EVERYTHING SOUND LIKE THAT! SO… SO SUGGESTIVE!"
"Like what?" I asked, innocently.
"LIKE THAT! In your way! As if everything you say has a SECOND AND TERRIBLE MEANING!"
"But, my dear Titania, sometimes things do have a second meaning."
"BUT IT DIDN'T! NOT THIS TIME!"
"Erza," I said, with the patience of one dealing with a stubborn child. "You have repeatedly touched an erogenous zone of my body while we are both practically naked in a hot and secluded pool. I would say that, by definition, has SEVERAL possible meanings."
Erza made that sound again and, in an act of pure and absolute emotional defeat, sank into the water until only the top of her head was visible, her scarlet hair spreading out on the milky surface like a particularly dramatic bloodstain on an abstract painting.
And Lucy, on the other side of the pool, was watching everything with the expression of someone watching a carriage crash in slow motion and secretly enjoying it a little. "I…" she began to say, with the voice of one who has lost the will to live. "I don't even know what to say anymore. I give up."
"You don't have to say anything, Lucy. Just enjoy the show. It's not every day you get to see the great and powerful Titania being defeated by a simple conversation," I said, gently rubbing my ear, which was still pleasantly tingling from her pinch.
"This isn't a show! This is… it's…"
"A badly resolved and frankly ridiculous sexual tension?"
"I WASN'T GOING TO SAY EXACTLY THAT, BUT YES, THAT'S BASICALLY IT!"
Erza, in an act of pure, stubborn indignation, emerged from the water just enough to speak, her flashing eyes glaring above the surface. "There is NO sexual tension here!"
"Hmm. Are you sure? You just touched my ears in a way that made my whole body shiver. And, from your state, it seems you felt something too. I'd say there's at least A LITTLE bit of tension."
"IT WAS JUST A PUNITIVE PINCH, YOU IDIOT!"
"Ah, yes. A punitive pinch that you, coincidentally, only decided to give me because you got jealous of me describing Mirajane's beauty."
"I WAS NOT JEALOUS! AND STOP MENTIONING THAT!"
"But you crossed the pool in less than two seconds, with a murderous expression on your face, exactly when I started describing Mira's swimsuit."
"It was a coincidence of timing!"
"A very, convenient coincidence, indeed."
"SHUT UP, AZRA'IL!" she shouted, and advanced on me again, the water churning around her, clearly with the intention of pinching my ears a third time.
This time, I was prepared. And, to be honest, waiting for it. I caught her wrist with one hand before she could reach me, the force of my grip stopping her mid-way. And suddenly, with the momentum of her own movement, we were very, very close.
VERY close.
So close that I could feel the heat radiating from her wet skin, a heat that was more intense than that of the hot spring water itself. I could see the tiny, almost invisible droplets of water caught in her long, dark eyelashes. I could, if I concentrated, count every one of the almost imperceptible freckles that dotted her nose, freckles that only really appeared in the summer, when she spent a lot of time in the sun.
Her large brown eyes widened slightly in surprise. Her breathing, which had been of anger before, was now faster, shorter, almost held. Mine, if I were to be completely honest with myself, was too.
And, under the water, my… physiological situation… was becoming very difficult to hide or to ignore.
(Bugger. Bugger, bugger, bugger.)
[Your heart rate is at 140 beats per minute. And your… lower physiological response is—]
(SHUT YOUR CIRCUIT-MOUTH, EOS. NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR BIOMETRIC REPORTS!)
"Azra'il…" Erza's voice came out as a whisper, almost breathless, fragile in a way I rarely heard.
"Yes?" my own voice came out hoarser and lower than I intended.
"You… you are… holding my wrist very tightly."
"Yes, I am."
"W-why?"
"Because you, my dear Titania, were going to try and pinch my ears again. And I was starting to enjoy it too much."
"And… and what if I still wanted to pinch them?" she whispered, and her eyes, for an instant, seemed to darken.
A tense silence hung between us. A silence full of possibilities and dangers.
[Analysing… That was, without a doubt, a flirtation. Direct and unequivocal. Fascinating. Titania learns quickly,] Eos commented in my mind, with the enthusiasm of a scientist who has just discovered a new species.
(I… I think so. I also think I'm in trouble.)
[Interesting. And exciting, no?]
"Then," I replied, my voice a little hoarser than I would have liked to admit, "you would have to… ask. Politely."
Erza swallowed hard, a slow, visible movement in her throat. And the look in her eyes was a mixture of fear, desire, and a determination that made me hold my breath. "And… and if I asked?"
BOOOOOOMM!
The explosion came from the other side of the bamboo wall, from the men's section of the baths, with the force of a small thunderclap, shaking the very earth beneath our feet.
Erza and I separated so fast, in a movement of pure reflex and panic, that we caused a small, violent wave in the pool.
"WHAT THE DEVIL WAS THAT?!" Lucy emerged from the water, her eyes wide, her blonde hair dripping.
"GET BACK HERE, YOU BLOODY STRIPPER! I'M GOING TO MELT THAT STUPID SMILE OFF YOUR FACE!"
"TRY YOUR LUCK, FLAME-BRAIN! COME AND GET ME!"
"Aye! A fight! A fight in the water! This is new!"
And then, another explosion. This time, bigger. The bamboo wall that separated the two sections of the baths trembled violently. Superheated steam and small pieces of rock flew into the air on our side, falling into the water with hisses and sizzles.
"KARYŪ NO TEKKEN!"
"ICE MAKE: SHIELD!"
The deafening sound of impact was followed by a scream, not of pain, but of pure and utter indignation.
"YOU… YOU FROZE MY TOWEL TO THE WALL, YOU BASTARD!"
"SERVES YOU RIGHT! YOU WERE THE ONE WHO BURNED MINE FIRST! AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW, I'D ONLY TAKEN IT OFF FOR A SECOND!"
"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! I TRIPPED!"
"ACCIDENT MY ARSE, YOU DID IT ON PURPOSE!"
And then, more explosions. Fire and ice. The ground trembled. The water in our pool, once so serene, was now rippling violently, like a stormy sea.
"OI! YOU LOT, YOU FIFTH-RATE MAGES!!" The voice of the innkeeper, Yamamoto-san, echoed from somewhere nearby, full of a contained fury that was more frightening than any explosion. "YOU WILL PAY FOR EVERY BROKEN PIECE OF BAMBOO!"
"HE STARTED IT!" the two voices of our favourite idiots shouted in a pathetic and childish unison.
"Aye! It was Gray; he's the one who keeps taking his clothes off all the time!"
"HAPPY, YOU TREACHEROUS BASTARD!"
And Erza. Poor, tortured Erza, who had been torn from a moment of… something, was standing now, the milky water at her waist, her perfect and semi-exposed body, but the expression on her face was no longer one of shame or desire. It was one of pure and unadulterated murderous fury. Titania had awakened.
"They…" her voice was low, controlled, and terribly, mortally, DANGEROUS. "…they are destroying this wonderful inn."
"Yes. It seems so," I agreed, trying to remain calm.
"The inn where WE, and especially I, were finally starting to relax."
"Apparently."
"The only inn that had vacancies for us and that has celestial hot springs."
"Yes. That is a very valid point."
In a fluid and terrible movement, Erza got out of the water, the shame of her body completely forgotten, replaced by an aura of fury so pure and so palpable that the very steam around her seemed to retreat in fear. And I, for one glorious and fatal second, saw.
EVERYTHING.
The water running down her muscular back. The perfect curve of her waist. Her strong hips. Her long, toned legs. Every inch of her wet skin shining under the golden light of the lanterns. Every scar, every battle mark, a testament to her strength.
EVERYTHING.
(Oh, no. Gods. No, no, no. This is much worse than I had imagined.)
I turned my face so quickly my neck cracked, but the damage, the image, was already done, burned into my ancestral memory. And my body, that traitor, was DEFINITELY reacting in a way that could no longer be hidden under the water.
"NATSU! GRAY!" Erza roared, and her voice was like thunder, grabbing a towel with a furious movement and wrapping it around her body almost casually. She didn't even look back, at me, at my situation. "YOU TWO, YOU INSOLENT WORMS, ARE ABSOLUTELY DEAD!"
She marched off towards the men's wing, kicking the sliding door aside, her murderous aura leaving an almost visible trail in the steam.
And I, Azra'il Weiss, the ancestral creature, the predator of a thousand worlds, did the only thing I could do at that moment. I sank into the hot water up to my neck, hoping that the thermal water, with all its miraculous properties, could, somehow, calm the situation… or at least hide me until I returned to a minimally presentable state.
And then, the screams began.
The door to the men's wing slid open with the force of a cannon. "ERZA?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! THIS IS THE MEN'S WING, YOU CAN'T COME IN!"
"YOU TWO! IDIOTS! INCOMPETENTS! YOU HAVE DESTROYED THE PEACE! STOP! NOW!"
"B-but Erza, we were just messing about, it was just—"
"I SAID NOW!"
And the sound of impact. Of many things breaking. And of genuine cries of pain.
"OW! OW! OW! SORRY! WE'RE SORRY!"
"ERZA, PLEASE, MY ARM DOESN'T BEND THAT WAY!"
"IT WILL NOW!"
"AYE! Erza is very frightening when she's angry!"
Lucy and I remained in an almost reverent silence in our pool, just listening to the massacre happening on the other side of the wall.
"She… she's going to kill them, isn't she?" Lucy whispered, her voice trembling with fear and perhaps a little admiration.
"No, probably not," I replied, trying to sound more confident than I felt. "She needs them alive for the mission. But they will certainly be wishing they were dead for the next few days."
Another scream. Louder this time. A scream I recognised. It was Natsu's. "MY LEG! MY LEG! SHE'S PULLING MY LEG!"
"…Okay. I'd say the probability of non-death has decreased to… about 80%," I corrected. "Reasonably sure they'll survive."
"MERCY, ERZA! MERCY!"
"I DON'T KNOW THAT WORD WHEN I'M ANGRY!"
And something, something large, exploded from the other side of the wall, and the bamboo structure finally gave way, cracking in several places.
"GRAY, STOP RUNNING AND TAKE YOUR PUNISHMENT LIKE A MAN!"
"BUT YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL ME! I'M NOT GOING TO STAND STILL AND DIE!"
"IF YOU STAND STILL, THE PUNISHMENT WILL HURT LESS! I PROMISE!"
"THAT PROMISE IS NOT AT ALL REASSURING, ERZA!"
"SORRY! SORRY! SORRY! WE'LL NEVER FIGHT AGAIN!"
"OH, IT'S TOO LATE FOR APOLOGIES, YOU WORMS!"
"BUT ERZA—"
"YOU HAVE DESTROYED THE HOT SPRINGS! MY HOT SPRINGS! THE PLACE WHERE I WAS FINALLY TRYING TO RELAX! FOR THE FIRST TIME IN WEEKS!"
Lucy sighed, sinking back into the hot water, resigned. "Well," she said, with a tired voice, "at least it's not us getting a beating this time."
"True. There's always a bright side," I agreed.
Another impact. Happy's high-pitched scream, who was probably caught in the crossfire. "AYE! MY TAIL!"
"I WILL COUNT TO THREE! IF YOU TWO ARE NOT KNEELING IN FRONT OF ME AND SINCERELY APOLOGISING TO THE INNKEEPER—"
"WE'RE KNEELING! WE'RE KNEELING! WE'RE ALREADY HERE!"
"FORGIVE US, ERZA-SAMA! WE ARE WORMS!"
"Aye! Very sorry worms!"
"AND MORE SINCERITY IN THAT APOLOGY!"
"FORGIVENESS FROM THE BOTTOM OF OUR BROKEN AND REMORSEFUL HEARTS!"
"WE WILL NEVER FIGHT IN THE HOT SPRINGS AGAIN! NEVER AGAIN!"
"…At least not in Hosenka's hot springs!" Natsu's voice added, recklessly.
"NATSU!"
"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! NEVER AGAIN ANYWHERE! I SWEAR!"
I closed my eyes, letting the sounds of destruction, punishment, and pleas mix with the gentle bubbling of the water around me.
(This is going to be a very, very long night,) I thought.
[Very long. And the repair costs will be considerable,] Eos agreed. [But the data collection on Fairy Tail's conflict resolution dynamics… has been invaluable.]
And deep down, under the water, I could only think of one thing: I will never be able to look at a hot spring the same way again. And perhaps, I would never look at Erza the same way again either. What a… complicated thought.
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💬 Author's Note
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You asked for spicier scenes… so here it is, the classic hot springs episode every respectable anime must have. 😌
Yes, I heard you.
And yes… this is only the beginning.
If Azra'il keeps running around unsupervised and Erza keeps short-circuiting… let's just say there will be more suggestive and ecchi scenes coming your way. 😈
Lucy will have to survive.
See you in the next chapter. 🐺✨