*Deew~! Deeeew~! Dew~!*
"Master! There's too many of them!" Shmi screamed over the intercom as she spun the ship around, dodging dozens of green blaster shots! Occasionally one would hit the shields and the ship would shake violently.
"I'm working on it! Hahahaha~! Got one~!"
Asmodeus was sitting in a chair facing a big window, with huge double-laser cannon turret right outside. He pressed the trigger again and the next unlucky starfighter had its shields disrupted. A few more shots and it was torn to shreds! There was also another turret on the bottom of the ship.
"Oh dear! Oh my! Master Asmodeus! I-I think I've killed someone!"
There was a protocol droid that was missing his 'skin'. The wires in his head, neck, torso and limbs were all visible. He did have a decent silver frame already built though. With two big yellow eyes, his mouth, forehead and the back of his skull were also covered in metal plates.
"Oh no! Master!"
"Threepio! Shut the fuck up!" Asmodeus shouted through the intercom, but his voice could also be heard from the long tube behind C-3PO.
"If you don't fight, we're all gonna die! So grow some metaphorical balls and fuck those bitches up!"
"As you wish, Master!" Even though the poor Droid felt incredibly guilty inside, he still accurately managed to shoot and kill another small starfighter that was swooping by the bottom of the ship.
"Good job, Threepio!" Shmi shouted as she watched from the cockpit as the dozens of small starfighters kept exploding around them!
*Beep-beep-beep~!* They were suddenly locked by missiles!
"Master, help!"
"Don't worry, I got it!" Asmodeus closed his eyes and sensed the rapidly approaching rockets. They weren't traveling in a straight line and they were far smaller than any ship. But… The Force is overpowered.
*Tsha! Tsha! Tsha!* Three shots rang out, which could be heard because of the vibrations through the ship. Then those missiles were wiped out by laser cannons without much suspense or excitement. After all, it wasn't the first time and definitely wouldn't be the last.
"How much longer until we can get the fuck outta here?"
"I'm trying Master! I just need to get into the right position!"
"I believe in you! Hahaha~! Ain't no position that Smutty Shmi can't get into!"
"Yeah." She smiled wryly and twirled the ship around a few more times, then pushed forward with a big metal lever! It only took a moment in Realspace and they were just gone. The beams flew past and only hit an afterimage.
"We made it!"
"Hell yeah we did! Hahaha~!"
"Wonderful! We survived!" C-3PO threw his stiff metal arms up in the air and then lowered them before asking, "Master Asmodeus, Master Skywalker, I've been meaning to ask… What happened while I was deactivated? Why are we suddenly on a starship and fighting pirates?"
"Well… That's a long story." Shmi smiled wryly as she leaned back in her comfy seat, technically the captain/pilot's chair. Though there were also three other seats within the large cockpit.
"I mean, it ain't 'that' long." Asmodeus walked up behind her and sat down to her right, "I'll be honest, we basically just forgot you existed."
"That's horrible!" The 'man' reacted with a shrill cry, "How long was I deactivated?!"
"I have no idea. I've never actually seen you awake. Shmi just said she programmed me as your Primary Master and then never actually turned you on until a few minutes ago."
"Now that you mention it, I also cannot seem to recall ever formally meeting you, Master Asmodeus." C-3PO walked into the cockpit slowly, as if he was an old man wearing a diaper. His feet barely left the ground as he took awkward steps.
"Nice to meet you, C-3PO." Asmodeus snickered as he watched the droid struggle to sit down in the chair behind him stiffly.
"It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance!"
"So anyway, we thought it would be a great idea to escort a fucking Hutt bitch from Tatooine to Nal Hutta."
"Oh my!"
"Yeah, it didn't go as well as we'd hoped." He shrugged and Shmi giggled, "It didn't go as badly as we expected either."
"Unfortunately we couldn't stick around long enough to buy a new ship and get rid of this one." The Slave explained for her Master, "I think there's a tracker somewhere on the ship, but I haven't been able to find it. We keep getting ambushed every time we drop out of Hyperspace to recalibrate our route."
Why couldn't they just fly in a straight line or stay in Hyperspace the whole time? First of all, the Hyperdrive can't run forever, but their trip really isn't that long. The real issue is just that they aren't on a main 'highway'. There are special routes where you can just plot them out and keep going until you arrive. That's what they used when they left Tatooine to Nar Shaddaa, but after dropping off the Hutt, they had to hurry up and leave. There were already 'police' after them.
They weren't even really sure what happened to the Hutt yet, but she did follow through with her deal and pay the 3k Peggats. That's actually a lot of money. It would translate to 120k Credits. Basically the same price as a brand new Sheathipede Shuttle.
"We still have a few hours before we have to drop out of Hyperspace again, Master."
"That's good. We can both get a little rest. Like, real rest. Heheh~!"
"Yes, Master." Shmi smiled and turned to C-3PO, "Threepio, it's up to you to take over the ship while we're gone."
"Me?! Master Skywalker, I am a protocol droid! I'm not programmed for this kind of responsibility!"
"You'll be fine. I trust you." She couldn't help thinking of her son as she stared at his silly yellow light-bulb like eyes.
"Oh… Oh dear… Oh my… Why do people always expect so much from me?"
Then Shmi ran after her Master's sexy red ass! Yes, they were both naked this whole time. So was C-3PO for that matter…
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