'What kind of bullshit logic is that? Just because your daughter is pretty, it's abnormal if I don't take advantage of her?' Long Gen's face darkened with metaphorical black lines, his brows knitted together as he cursed indignantly in his heart. He turned to He Wenfeng with an awkward smile, "Uncle, let's... let's not. This isn't right. It's too embarrassing!"
He Wenfeng was getting fired up. He leaned in close to Long Gen, reaching out to grab his crotch, and said angrily, "What's there to be embarrassed about? Acting like a damn woman, dawdling around. Are we gonna get along or what? Let go, let me have a look!"
Long Gen covered his crotch, his face looking like a brewing thunderstorm, as black as the bottom of a pot. He guarded his final line of defense, pressing down hard on the giant snake in his pants, terrified the gun might go off!
"Don't! Uncle, Uncle, you can't look, you really can't look... Oh man, Uncle, don't pull my hand..."
He Wenfeng grew even more displeased. His eyes darted around as he muttered in his heart.
'It's just looking at a dick, why all the pushing and refusing? That thing of his probably doesn't work right. That absolutely won't do. I only have this one daughter, and she just got divorced. If he can't even satisfy my daughter in bed, what the hell is he good for? A useless piece of trash!'
'No matter what, I have to see it. My daughter is young, she might not understand these things! Only experienced women know the benefits of a man having a sturdy piece of meat in his pants! If this punk really is a useless dud, then don't blame me for being ruthless. Jingwen, this time your father will definitely find you a man who's perfect in every way!'
He looked up toward the kitchen. There were clinking and clattering sounds of someone busy at work, along with the splashing of water. He Wenfeng felt a bit relieved. He definitely couldn't let his daughter see this, otherwise, she might think this old man had some kind of weird fetish. He was too old to lose face like that.
"Long Gen, just take off your pants and let me see. Fingers on a hand come in different lengths, so I don't expect your tool to rival Ximen Qing's, but at the very least, it shouldn't shortchange my daughter, right?" He Wenfeng decided to just lay it all out. He leaned into Long Gen's ear and whispered, "But if your thing is a soft egg the size of a toothpick, then you better leave Jingwen sooner rather than later. Understand?"
"Uh?"
Long Gen was dumbfounded. What kind of logic was this?
They say "customs differ every ten miles," but he had never heard of a custom in Qingyuan County where judging a son-in-law required inspecting his crotch. Even though they were both men and there shouldn't be much to be shy about, he just couldn't bring himself to do it.
Furthermore, Long Gen was genuinely terrified. It wasn't that his thing was small; he was just afraid that once He Wenfeng saw it, it would scare the old man half to death. He'd worry that He Jingwen wouldn't be able to handle it and would get stabbed to death by two thrusts from that club. That would be a massive loss!
"Uncle, can we just not look? Don't worry, I promise to serve Jingwen so well she'll be totally comfortable and glowing with happiness. She won't suffer the slightest bit of grievance, okay?" Long Gen made his final struggle, tears practically welling up and rolling around in his eyes. He looked as pitiful as could be. And fair enough, anyone would be caught between tears and laughter running into a father-in-law like this.
He really wondered how Li Liang had gotten away with it back in the day. Surely he didn't have to pull his pants down to verify his authenticity, did he?
"Hmph!" He Wenfeng waved his sleeve, letting out a heavy, muffled snort through his nose. He said angrily, "Pushing back and forth, not decisive at all! I bet that thing in your pants is as useless as mud!"
"Since you don't even have the guts to take off your pants, then what else is there to say? Leave. I will absolutely never agree to you and Jingwen being together! Just go!"
Having thrown down the harsh words, He Wenfeng turned his face away, staying silent. His chest heaved rapidly; he was furious!
He really couldn't understand it. His daughter was so beautiful, with looks that could sink fish and make geese fall from the sky, a face as gorgeous as a flower, just like her mother. She looked like a fairy from heaven. Yet this kid actually hadn't taken advantage of her? And now he was refusing to take off his pants for an inspection!
As the saying goes, "When things are abnormal, there must be a demon at work!"
All these signs made He Wenfeng suspect that Long Gen's ability in bed was perhaps completely nonexistent. If he only had a slick tongue, what use was a son-in-law like this? Could he carry on the He family's incense and lineage?
"Ah? This..." Long Gen rolled his eyes, feeling incredibly frustrated.
He really didn't know what to say to his future second father-in-law. It was both laughable and infuriating. The old man was actually questioning his ability in bed? What bullshit!
It wasn't that he didn't want to show him, but he was afraid of scaring the old man. At his age, his heart wasn't great—he had high blood pressure and coronary heart disease. The murderous aura of his massive club was too heavy; what if it knocked the old man out and left him half-paralyzed? That would be taking the joke way too far.
"Uncle, you, listen to me..."
"Don't say anything. If you don't take off your pants and let me see your dick, just leave!" He Wenfeng waved his big hand, cutting Long Gen off.
Motherfucker, what's with the attitude? If it wasn't for my "Number One Manor Under Heaven," who the fuck would care about you? Fine, I'll take them off. You like looking at it so much, old man? Alright then, I'll let you see it loud and clear. If you get scared stupid, don't blame me!
"I'll take them off, Uncle, don't be mad. It's just..." Long Gen suddenly lowered his head, his voice dropping significantly, acting as if he were shy. "It's just, Uncle, you need to mentally prepare yourself. My thing is a little bit... you know..."
Hearing this, He Wenfeng's expression softened a bit.
"Young man, it's fine. If it's small, it's small. As long as it can get the job done, that's better than anything. I was just afraid your thing couldn't get hard, that would be a real problem. Tell me, what parent doesn't want their children to have a happy and sexually fulfilled life?"
"Take them off, it's fine. If it's really too small, we'll think of a way. Science is advanced nowadays; promoting a second growth spurt isn't impossible. Hurry up and take them off. Jingwen will be done soon, it wouldn't be good if she saw," He Wenfeng comforted and urged him.
In his heart, he had already prepared for the worst. He just hoped the thing wasn't only good for taking a piss!
Long Gen nodded, wearing a heavy expression, looking as sorrowful as if his mother had just been fucked and nobody paid her. Internally, though, he was sneering.
Seeing this expression, He Wenfeng couldn't help but sigh. He shook his head slightly, feeling secretly heartbroken.
'Why is my daughter's life so bitter? Li Liang was a bastard, and this Long Gen seems pleasing to the eye, but... I'm so afraid he's a soft egg…'
At this moment, Long Gen slowly took off his pants, acting as bashful as a newlywed bride. He forced his face to flush red, his head practically tucked into his crotch, as he grabbed his waistband and pulled down.
Smack.
With a light sound, a soft, massive snake dropped down from his crotch, half of it buried in the bush. Its body was pitch black and its size was gargantuan. Looking from a distance, it looked like a snake doing a backward somersault, hanging its head down to swing on a swing, swaying back and forth. It was softer than a noodle!
"Ah! What... what is that?"
He Wenfeng had still been wanting to console Long Gen and maybe pass on a couple of hand techniques. In today's society, every industry is developing rapidly, and the poses and tricks for fucking are changing with each passing day, making great strides!
Although the older generation's "Old Ox Climbing the Back," "Old Man Pushing the Cart," and "Guanyin Sitting on the Lotus" were classics, today's "Immortal Embracing the Moon," "Wild Wolf Entering from Behind," and the 69 position had pushed fucking to a whole new climax!
The Spring Palace Pictures (erotica) were nice, but the "Immortal Hand" was even better, with detailed descriptions, meticulous explanations, and accompanying audio and video.
Society was developing; he figured if worst came to worst, they could spend some money, get a bull's penis surgically attached, and wouldn't he still be able to thrust just fine?
But, what the hell was that?
"No, impossible!" He Wenfeng was scared stupid, shaking his head repeatedly and stumbling backward.
From within a pile of pitch-black weeds, a giant black python had sprung out, its head hanging down listlessly! Even in this state, that thing was a good two or three times longer than his own! It was thicker than a large cucumber, its diameter catching up to that of an eggplant!
"How... how is this possible? How could a human's thing be so long? No, it must be fake. Absolutely fake!" His mind was a chaotic mess, his eyes staring blankly at Long Gen's crotch. He couldn't accept this reality!
The thing in his own pants was impressive enough. When he first got married, he fucked Jingwen's mother every single day. Wherever he went, he brought her along. When night fell, they did nothing else but stay in bed, panting and going at it with endless energy. A few of his friends in his circle secretly envied him for it.
For a man, being lustful is perfectly normal; but men with the capital to be lustful are rare, so he had always been the object of his friends' envy, jealousy, and hatred.
But today, He Wenfeng's ego was bruised. He had wanted to console his future son-in-law, even teach him a bit of bed kung fu. If he used fresh techniques to serve his daughter in the future, wouldn't she be incredibly comfortable?
But right now, it felt like he had swallowed a fly that was stuck in his throat—he couldn't swallow it down, and he couldn't spit it out. It was agonizing!
That thing in Long Gen's pants was like a python. Did it even need techniques or poses? Without saying a word, just shake that big guy, smear some spit on its head, shove that club in, and one thrust would drain the strength from any woman's body!
"Uncle, look, is my little dick acceptable? Does it meet your requirements?" Long Gen blinked, looking at He Wenfeng with a half-smile.
Look at you, dumbfounded, huh? I said I wouldn't take them off, but you insisted on looking. Look then, today I am gonna let you get an eyeful! Feeling inferior? Feeling ashamed?
"It's enough, it's enough, oh my. This guy is huge," After staring blankly for a moment, He Wenfeng snapped out of it, grinning from ear to ear, his eyes still glancing at Long Gen's crotch. He was still wondering in his heart, how could there be such a massive thing? It's too big, like a mutation, pitch-black.
"Oh my, Little Long, this business between you and Jingwen, I approve! Hahaha!" He Wenfeng laughed heartily, so thrilled his eyes narrowed into slits. Suddenly, he lowered his voice. "But, when you do that with Jingwen, you need to be gentle. My daughter is still tender. Your thing is too big. It's like drilling a well, you have to drill in slowly, you can't rush it."
Now he wasn't worried about his daughter lacking sexual happiness in the future. Now he was worried she'd have too much sexual happiness, and after one night, she wouldn't be able to get out of bed for three to five days, delaying her work and everything!
"Cough, cough, um, Uncle, I understand this, don't worry." Even with Long Gen's thick skin, he felt a bit embarrassed.
He didn't know whether to say this father was too dedicated, or just too nagging, even managing things that happened in bed. But he couldn't really argue, so he just nodded and smiled awkwardly to brush it off.
But He Wenfeng didn't plan on letting it go. He was still thinking about that massive thing. How could he not be curious about such a thick and gigantic tool?
"Little Long, um, Uncle wants to ask you something. How did this thing of yours grow so big? What brand of supplements have you been eating?"
"Uh..." Long Gen's head was covered in black lines...
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