Yue Ran sat relaxed as he drank tea leisurely in the afternoon sun
after having meditated for the day whenever he could, he would feel the sun rest on his skin as he rested leisurely
It was a habit his master had personally built in him.
'A person must take time out of their day to simply remain idle, sometimes that's all you need to feel like you're actually living'
He'd say that whenever he questioned him,
He lowered his eyelids as he looked down on the cup of tea,
'to feel like you're living' he said,
What did he mean by that distinction?
He couldn't understand it even now
He felt a certain itch in his chest as the autumn breeze caressed him, lifting his eyes his focus landed on Xue Hua
The child who has the same hair as his master, he wore a conflicted expression as he looked down at the table, hosting various snacks
Undoubtedly having trouble picking what to eat
It was almost ridiculous how easy he was to read,
he could even thank the kid since it was because of him that his days hadn't been too dull after leaving the nameless peak.
Nevertheless...
...sometimes Yue Ran wondered, was he too impulsive when he saved this child?
He was not qualified to raise him in any way, he knew this, he wasn't his master who loved kids and was naturally compassionate with people unlike him who had to learn it through him and was still imitating his shadow
So he couldn't help but wonder,
What was he doing right now?
"Playing house" he mumbled under his breath, as Chen Fang's words resurfaced in his mind,
There was a tightness in his lungs he couldn't quite understand
Perhaps he really was just playing pretend right now, copying his master but then what?
For how long?
He sipped,
The warm liquid drowned the unspoken words in his throat, dissolving them before he could realise them
Could he truly understand his master? Doing all these meaningless things?
He rested his head on his hand
He wasn't so sure anymore maybe he never was from the beginning
Meanwhile, Xue Hua's fingers swept past the table, under the shade his hair seemed a softer snow as few strands had come undone out of the braids, Xue Hua's fingers twitched as they hovered in the air, his eyelids blinking rather rapidly
Before the tips of his ears started changing into a subtle red as he looked up,
Pressing his lips, he looked into Yue Ran's grounded eyes
In the courtyard under the autumn breeze amongst the scented leaves a warm fragrance lingered of the tea they just had,
"Umm"
there was a tremble in his voice as Xue Hua's eyes shifted around as he thought of what to say before eventually landing back on the immortal's steady gaze,
while
The immortal held his breath, under the gaze of an expectant child,
He couldn't think of what his master would've said as the words flowed faster than he could compare with his master,
"How was the festival last night?"
He asked, a very simple question but silence lingered for a moment which before soon was filled with the child's voice as he spoke with a smile and an enthusiastic voice
amidst tea leaves and snacks and the grand blue sky
The servants seeing the moment from a distance chuckled within themselves as they passed by.
His words flowed endlessly like a river as Yue Ran sat through the entire thing, listening, however he was scarce with his words,
Speaking only when he deemed necessary
Occasionally asking, "and?" Or "then?"
Truth be told, Yue Ran wasn't interested in this
Yet, when those eyes met him, he couldn't bring himself to deny those childish hopes and desires
After all, he long knew of how Xue Hua longed for his attention,
But it wasn't until now that he truly felt like a caretaker though it wasn't exactly his intention
How did his master do it?
He found himself asking,
Did he feel any of this when he was taking care of me?
The tips of his fingers brushed past the rugged surface of the pendant.
Despite the obvious disinterest anyone could see, instead of feeling disheartened Xue Hua was undeniably happy in the moment
Because he could see the curiosity in the immortal's gaze which wasn't much but the fact it was there was enough
He couldn't lower his smile even if he tried, as his head and chest felt lighter with every word
despite what anyone might think watching the scene
it wasn't the festival that gave him this feeling, it was the fact that whenever he looked up while walking through the streets he could see Yue Ran just beside him
Maybe someone could say it was a ridiculously simple reason but just knowing that the immortal took his time to stay with him was something that filled his chest with a deep warmth
So, like the kids he saw in the streets, he mimicked their actions towards their parents, and deep within his mind he could also see a fading memory of Xiaoming when she had gone to a festival with both his mother and father but without realising it halfway through he had genuinely begun enjoying the moment
Knowing that it was none other than Yue Ran that made the moment possible for him
So, despite how anyone else would've felt coming undone in front of such blatant indifference, he smiled unable to hide his teeth as he did so, stubbornly so he clung onto him
Hoping so that when he fell behind, the straight back he always saw might pause and turn back
Having exhausted all his words, they sat in silence while drinking fresh tea that the servants had prepared once more, Xue Hua's chest still trembled with every beat as the excitement was still stuck within his skin
It was in this short moment of rest that he heard the gates open
Shortly followed by Chen Fang's voice from a distance,
In that moment, he turned his head towards the gates although being quite some distance away, seeing the familiar man with flowing red hair be greeted by some servants,
But his eyes widened briefly as his attention was caught by the man behind him, he was just an inch or two shorter than Chen Fang but he looked so much smaller, his head was covered with long black hair as they extending past his shoulders covering his back but doing nothing to hide the state of the man, who seemed to be just a few breaths away from his grave.
A beggar?
No couldn't be, despite having his head lowered, there was a sense of pride in the way he carried himself.
His clothes were covered in dirt and all sorts of filth, however his straight hair remained fairly clean, though they hid his face from the side,
Despite his efforts to catch a glimpse of the strangers face, he failed to see his face
He noticed the hesitance in that man's movements while Chen Fang gave him reassurance with a smile as he placed his hand on the man's shoulder nodding as he did so
Through these observations, there was only one question in his mind,
Someone he knew?
Curiosity dribbled like water droplets in his mind but it was short lived, after all what that man did wasn't a concern of his
He concluded,
Turning his head back to the table, he raised his head unconsciously to look at Yue Ran which had now grown into a habit of his,
But to his surprise, it seemed that the scene had intrigued Yue Ran as well.
Leaning his hands on the intricate low fencing of the pavilion, he sat slightly reclined from earlier as his eyes followed the two,
His cup had been stationed on the table for some while now, as his eyes naturally followed seeing Xue Hua focus on something in the distance having gone silent though the child in question was not aware of it.
Seeing the scene, though he couldn't be sure right now, he had an inkling of some sort and just by looking at the state of the young cultivator
The least he could conclude was that;
Something must have happened
While Yue Ran was thinking of all those things, Xue Hua was lost in his own world staring before he turned to look towards the gates once more
Chen Fang was done instructing the servants, as they bowed before leading the strange man towards another direction
Was Yue Ran curious about that man as well? He could hardly tell
He had thought that maybe he had gotten better at understanding him but he was just deluding himself,
Even now, he found himself at a loss as he watched Yue Ran looking at a distance
The moment engulfed in silence
He was reminded of how uncertain his connection with him truly was
All that in just a moment of diverted attention
The immortal truly held complete reign on where he was, one moment he could be in cloud nine, and the second, back into the cold cave in the north waiting helplessly while holding onto a hope that was as stable as a loose thread that could fall off at any moment.
His fingers brushed the head of the chair as he folded both his arms before resting his head on it, absorbing the image of the pitch black hair against the warmth of the autumn sky while the sun light pierced through the gaps among the tree leaves falling around the man like spots of paints
Why was he looking at them so much?
Hardly anything got his attention
He pressed his fingers together
But what was he hoping to hear? And what entitlement was it of his that he could hope to learn his thoughts?
So, he turned to a man who was easier to understand, to guess, to assume
Staring fiercely his eyes narrowed,
Then,
as though he had eyes on the back of his head,
Chen Fang turned and met his gaze with equal intensity, a grin
But it was brief as his eyes shifted towards Yue Ran, nodding with a smile before entering the house
And in that moment, when Xue Hua turned to look at him he caught
Yue Ran caressing the pendant hanging on his waist with his fingertips, while his eyes were lost in thoughts
Then he raised his fingers, tapping once, then twice on the wooden surface of the carved wooden railings surrounding the pavilion.
Xue Hua swallowed unintentionally,
"Is something wrong?" He spoke out loud,
His voice slipped through his throat, this wasn't what he wanted to ask, or how he wanted to say it
But the immortal's fingers had stopped almost instantly making him realise that he couldn't take his words back,
"Ah" Yue Ran breathed,
Which invertedly made his heart jump
Yue Ran brought his eyes back to him, softening them as they met before answering with a casual tone,
"Nothing much.... but we'll see"
He immediately straightened his back with those eyes back on him, but when he heard those words he couldn't quite hide the confusion forming in his face,
"So, something was up?-
Those words died on his throat
He didn't know how to interpret those words leaving him to wonder momentarily but he wasn't given much time to do so as
not long after,
some servants came over to clear the table
Swiftly stacking the empty plates along with plates that still had leftovers, while the other bowed to Yue Ran before taking the cups and wiping the table,
But while leaving they sneaked a quick glance over at Xue hua, nodding with a half restrained smile as their eyes met.
Which only surprised the poor child as he not knowing what to do quickly nodded as well, flustered while attempting to do so
But his indecisiveness and hesitance only made it look quite funny
Way different from what he had intended
Making the servants puff their faces as they held a chuckle they couldn't let out in front of yue Ran.
Leaving only xue Hua to make of what he saw as the servants left,
His ears tinged a soft hue as he sat with his head lowered from embarrassment
That was when chen fang finally appeared the man from earlier alongside him
who now looked almost unrecognisable
That Xue Hua wouldn't have thought them to be the same person if not for the colour of his hair
However, Xue Hua was still quite surprised at the strangers appearance
He wondered,
'could a person really change this much after just one wash?'
Or maybe it was the clothes he had on
The vibrant colours contrasted sharply with the soft features of that man who, not knowing where to look averted his gaze from them
He moved frigidly as he stopped just near the entry way while Chen Fang simply pulled a chair for himself and sat down,
Pouring himself some tea that was just recently brought by a servant.
The table was momentarily silent, waiting for someone to speak,
They were waiting on the man,
Xue Hua thought,
Nevertheless, it was Chen Fang who opened his lips first,
Looking towards Yue Ran he introduced the man
"Ah-Ran, this is Li Xiu, an acquaintance of mine"
This affectionate behaviour made both the stranger and Xue Hua flinch, making his mouth gape slightly
While the person in question–
evidently used to the man's act only replied with a soft
"Mn" as he poured himself tea
But as soon as his eyes landed on Li Xiu he felt a slight chill, he quickly turned to glance at Chen Fang who when their eyes met, smiled waving briefly before giving him a soft nod.
Li Xiu took a deep breath before bowing as he clasped his hands together before loudly greeting yue Ran,
"This Junior greets senior Yue"
Yue Ran remained silent while tapping the surface of the table,
The pressure was too heavy around the table, especially for Li Xiu as he clenched his fists together while his body threatened to break out trembling before the man
"Raise your head"
He said,
Li Xiu obeyed him instantly, then composing himself he continued,
"This disciple is from whispering gale sect, learning under master Fei Shang" his hands trembled as he pressed them together,
Yue Ran nodded,
"So, why did you seek me out?"
He asked,
However Chen Fang chimed in,
"You're scaring the poor kid, look at him" he chuckled,
Before gesturing at li Xiu pulling tHe chair for him
Flustered, his eyes fluttered not knowing what to do but being unable to refuse he quickly took a seat beside chen fang
Who after he sat down, said in a soft voice "continue"
He pressed his lips together,
'continue'...? The word lingered bitterly on the top of his tongue, Where was he supposed to start?
He hung his head low, his mind a mess as he stared at his hands,
Fingers curving as they dug into his thighs
The surroundings blurring as his memories of the recent days flooded into his mind
What was he supposed to say?
He could almost laugh thinking of all the things that had happened, even just earlier in the day
...but
He saw the silhouettes of his brothers- no friends in his mind,
He had to find them.
Somehow-
anyhow.
Squeezing his eyes for a moment, he took a deep breath
Before lifting his head as he looked directly at Yue Ran with a firm resolve
[A couple of hours ago]
It was the middle of the day when
Two men in uniform could be seen shoving a shabby man out the gates pushing him roughly before throwing him into the street
This scene caught the attention of many passerbys but none of them stopped for a moment longer than a minute or so,
"Tsk" the two men clicked their tongues
As they stared down at Li Xiu who was now on the ground
"Curses" they wiped their hands before mumbling, "what bad luck"
People would think that the shabby man had caused some scene or had been caught trying to steal something precious from the manor
However, he had only sought a conversation with the lord of the manor hoping to make a request
But, helplessly and bitterly he stared at the backs of the guard who had thrown him out without sparing their ears for even a moment.
To them, It was just great luck that they had managed to throw him out without disturbing the people inside
However, before returning to their post, one man noticed the look on Li Xiu's face so with a scornful expression he
Dryly remarked,
"Go beg somewhere else"
Both holding unhidden disdain in their faces as they left scoffing
Li Xiu remained silent long after they had left, staying motionless on the ground after he had been thrown out
What could he do? Scream? Yell? Cry?
He would just look even more of a madman than he seemed now
He pressed his lips shut as he felt a pang in his chest,
What did he do to deserve those looks? He hadn't asked for anything, he merely wanted to have a conversation with one of their elders, he just wanted to ask for help...which if they did agree he would've done everything to repay the favour
But....that was wishful thinking, he couldn't even walk past the gates no matter what he said,
He could only force a laugh with frustration and bitterness
His fingers were still raw from previous days, but now even the pain had numbed, and been replaced by a sharper pang in his chest that pressed heavy on him making it hard to breath
This was his last resort,
Asking a local clan
However it seems that, this too was now out of questions seeing as they firmly refused him after just laying their eyes on him merely because of his appearance
Yet, the fact that they claimed themselves to be protectors or guardians of this city despite denying a person in need, was laughable....
He told himself, but who was he right now to comment on these things? The most laughable person right now was him.
He clenched his fist as his eyes burned hot, a lump swelling up on his throat
Was this how they treated their people?
He asked,
Having no dignity left, he sat helplessly while people all muttered and whispered to each other while passing by
He forced a laugh as the stones beneath him blurred, maybe he had gone mad
It had almost been a week since he requested reinforcements,
Why didn't anyone come looking for him?
Why hadn't he heard from any of them?
His lips trembled as he thought of a possibility that he had been burying deep beneath himself,
Had they already left?
Were they abandoned?
In desperation, the question he had denied so hard but kept asking subconsciously rang clear in his head
Even after all these, he couldn't help but think of ways to justify them, after all what reason would they have to leave them? And if not, all that awaited him in the silence was despair, after all what did he have left?
So, he asked himself
Did something happen to them as well?
He was barely sane now, having wandered the streets asking around whoever he could find, he looked now just like a beggar who despite everything claimed to be a cultivator, but who would believe a starving man to be one?
Much less a man who seemed quite out of it, he himself would've had a hard time so he couldn't even bring himself to blame others
That day, after parting ways with the group and Xiao Han he returned to the inn
But as he promised, he went to talk with two of his seniors who while they had gone out to wander had decided to remain and rest.
Li Xiu told them what happened, he expressed his worries to them but when he looked at their faces he could see they hardly took his words for anything
As they just listened to him without much reaction and maybe the only told him he'd check the mountain because they didn't want him to doubt his seniors and to silence a panicked junior because after agreeing to it they quickly sent him away to continue their game of
Go
Even so, they did go out as far as he knew, even reassuring him that it was nothing to be concerned about, having returned after a long time from outside but maybe he was just a fool as he readily believed their words and even a coward for not digging in deeper
Li Xiu was still hesitant to fully believe their words but, he couldn't openly doubt them and without any reason, so he thanked them which they easily shrugged off, then the very next morning they left,
Only Li Xiu remained, saying he'd leave with the group when they returned.
So he waited the entire day,
Then the next, he waited, but the restlessness in him grew the longer he continued waiting, he couldn't sit still nor eat properly not knowing what they were facing, furthermore, he had given his words to protect Xiao Han
It wasn't that he doubted his seniors
He rose from his seat,
Yes, he had given his word to lady Han that they--
he would take care of him, of xiao han
Thus, he left the inn,
returning to the forest to look for others himself, slightly worried they might have encountered a stronger beast as they had hoped, but hoping them to not be injured too heavily, he carried with him some extra medicinal items preparing to tend to them if they were
After all especially that idiot Jun,
He was far too reckless,
He shook his head, he knew that in the process of showing off to his junior he might needlessly put himself in harm's way
So he braced himself to face any kind of scene
But even after hours of wandering he caught not a single glimpse of their shadow.
Still, he wandered around again and again for hours hoping to find them eventually, the mountain was big, but not vast enough to just swallow six people he chuckled,
So he believed that he'd meet them at one point anyhow unless they were specifically hiding from him, which didn't seem out of the question with Jun among them.
But as search went on and the night drew near, anxiety crept into his heart slowly but eventually, chipping and biting at it before the darkness fully engulfed the forest.
Something was off,
His heartbeats quickly gained on him before consuming his entire ears as the beatings of his heart came up to his throat
even so he continued looking, now by calling for them personally with their names
His lips quivered with each sound, but despite his hopes the only reply he received was a whistle from the wind and the laughter of the forest
The moon hung high in the sky
That was when he could no longer delude himself and deny the gravity of the moment
Something was wrong, they were not in the forest
At this realisation, his heart sank.
Still, he forced a laugh as he spoke, "are you getting back at me because of my naggings? Huh Jun?"
He tried to laugh again, but the laughter wouldn't even leave his tongue.
As his heart started beating faster,
"I...I wont nag you again" he forced a smile as he looked around himself, circling around the area he stood.
But of course he was only talking to himself as the only presence beside him was silence,
No no no no,
He must be wrong, surely they were just messing around like usual back in the mountain
He just had to look harder, surely they would be disappointed if he didn't.
However, his anxiety only grew louder as images of his fellow disciples flashed through his mind
As his thoughts grew louder and louder something caught his attention from the corner of his eyes,
He quickly walked towards it and crouched down, its shape was hard to make out as half of the thing was buried in the dirt so he dug it out with his bare hands.
But when he finally got it out, his ears went deaf as his heart almost stopped
"This ....is" his voice strayed
The help signal he had given xiao han just before he left
'Senior!' the memory of a cheerful child running up to him surfaced in his mind, 'what are we doing today?' He asked with a bright smile
But that memory was cut short as soon as he thought of the previous when he sent him off with his brothers,
".....Xiao han"
He mumbled, almost incoherently
As he picked it up, he could feel his hands grow wetter by the second with sweat, he could hardly hear anything beside his violently beating heart that overrode any other sound surrounding him
Patches of smeared blood