I slipped in through the front door, definitely past my curfew. I saw my mom sitting on the couch, drinking wine, and I tried to sneak to the stairs—but she had a little too much experience as a mom to an idiot teenager.
"Where do you think you're going, young lady?" she calls out. Not threatening, but definitely not messing around. I sigh in defeat.
"I'm sorry…" I slowly move around the couch and sit down, knowing I owe her an explanation.
"Where have you been?" She shifts her glasses up into her hair and puts her book down.
Seeing her like this makes me feel so guilty. Dad left when we were younger because… well, that's not exactly important. She used to look at Dad this way when he came home from the bar drunk.You know, I used to think I was better than them. But for some reason, when I look at myself, all I see is him. My father—the monster I promised myself I'd never become. Mom just wanted to forget about him, but honestly, I was just another version of him.
I told myself I'd never drink. Failed.How was I supposed to explain that I got totally wasted at a party, almost kissed this one idiot in my class, and got stuck hiding in a closet with him from the cops—then felt bad and cleaned his house with him?
"I was at Amy's," I say, trying to convince her to the best of my ability in my current state of panic.
"Amy's…" she repeats, almost too matter-of-fact. She definitely knows I'm lying but plays it cool as she takes a long sip of wine.
"I almost could've sworn she was over here a couple hours ago," she mutters—loud enough for me to hear.
"I, uh… I'm really tired. I think I'm gonna head up to bed…" I slowly stand, but she stops me, grabbing my wrist. Instant panic surges through my body. I look back at her, posture tense.
"You know I love you, right?" she says.
"Yeah…"She pulls me into a tight hug, and I don't know what to do. I didn't do this kind of thing with anyone—let alone my mom. I was scared to get attached to anyone within arm's reach. I knew I hadn't convinced her, but my body ached, and I quickly pulled away.
"Goodnight."
I ran up the stairs before she could say anything, shut my door behind me, and slid down it, sitting on the floor—overwhelmed and exhausted.I just wanted to disappear for a moment. The pressure finally catching up to me as I broke down.