My mind was blank.
My eyes remained fixed on the weapons in front of me, completely empty.
And that was when I realized something.
I truly...
Truly missed everything.
My friends.
My family.
My life.
My music, my food, and every insignificant little detail that I had taken for granted in my previous reality.
This world made me feel so damn alone...
I never wanted power.
Not in my previous life.
Not even in this one.
I only wanted to live the rest of my life on my own terms.
I wanted to stay away from the public eye.
Away from scandals.
Away from the spotlight.
Away from a world where I had never truly felt like I belonged.
"Why did my life have to change so much the moment I turned 25?"
Since that day...
Nothing had ever been the same.
I worked so hard to stop being a Dreifus...
Only to become Murphy.
The ones who guided me and shaped me into who I was...
Were only those two.
As I sank deeper into my thoughts, Quincy interrupted me.
[Master, I am concerned about your mental stability. (Ó╭╮Ò)]
—I'm pathetic, aren't I?... Damn it. I hate feeling sorry for myself.
[What is wrong, Master? ( > ﹏ < )]
—The worst thing that could happen to me... The wounds from my past. I guess they're opening again.
[Master, that means those wounds never truly healed. (っ ◉ - ◉ )っ]
—Well, Quincy... drowning in pain is never the solution.
Ever since I can remember, I've lived my life this way:
"Moving forward without looking back."
Never regretting what was beyond my control.
[Master... do you suffer from psychopathic or sociopathic tendencies? (ಠಿ.ಠ)]
—And what if I do? Even if I am... would anything change?
[Honestly, I do not know how to answer that. ✍( ' ▿ ' )]
I sighed.
—Damn world... these uncontrolled emotions are annoying.
[Why? Do you dislike them? (●´⌓`●)]
—I'm not used to them. Let's leave it here... I'll walk around and clear my head.
[I will not bother you for the moment. ( > ₒ < )]
I walked without direction.
I wandered in circles, thinking.
Trying to understand the strange phenomenon happening inside me.
I hated it.
This strange sensation in my chest...
Even after two heart attacks.
It wasn't nostalgia.
It was a peculiar pain.
"Maybe... sadness?"
No.
It was similar.
Or rather...
Familiar.
That damn feeling that, no matter what stage of my life I was in...
Always returned.
"Why?!"
"Damn it..."
"Why does it always come back, even if I'm somewhere completely different?!"
Somehow...
I had to regain my composure.
I wasn't in a position where I could afford to be weak.
Therefore, I forced myself to reach a definitive conclusion.
"Right now... I am not in a condition to face Melissa."
Especially after realizing something.
After going through that damn incident...
Because I acted impulsively.
Because I allowed my emotions to control me.
I made a fatal mistake in Ataxia.
I could have saved Nana.
Agatha.
Everyone.
Even Melissa.
I had a wish...
A damn wish.
And I chose a skill...
When I could have saved them all.
I took a deep breath.
I had to accept the weight of my decisions.
"I cannot change the past..."
"But I can guide my present..."
"So that at least the things I care about have a future."
I slapped my own cheeks.
I had to put my emotions aside.
I needed to focus on what was in front of me.
"Move forward toward the objective."
I had to go to Atris and report to that old man.
See them again.
Become part of that strange group once more.
And return soon to the Valentine estate.
Then free little Sam's family.
Maybe I should make a stop in Atris...
Before heading toward those Dark Lands.
"I think I should ask Fandvalen if he wants to come with me to Atris."
Once I finished clearing my mind and reorganizing my plans...
I calmed down.
I wasn't okay.
But at least...
I felt peaceful.
Before executing my plan of action.
I needed to train a little more.
I was still inexperienced with weapons.
But for some reason...
My instincts kept insisting on my theory regarding mana.
I took a stance.
But this time...
I didn't close my eyes.
I didn't want time to pass uncontrollably.
I wanted to visibly manifest mana in my hands.
I tried again.
And again.
But every attempt failed.
...
I felt frustrated.
Until finally...
I closed my eyes.
And at that moment...
I remembered something I thought I had forgotten.
But that damn penalization made me relive it for a moment.
And once again...
My own mind betrayed me.
Dragging me back into that memory.
---
20 years ago — United States, California
Los Angeles City — Beverly Hills
A beautiful woman with gorgeous blonde hair was taking a small child to a neighbor's house.
The neighbor's eldest daughter loved working as his babysitter.
At that moment, Brian timidly asked his mother:
—Mom... why aren't you taking me with you?
Brigitte Murphy: —"I'm sorry, sweetheart. But I have to attend something related to your sister, and I'm afraid you'll get bored."
—I understand.
Brigitte smiled softly.
Brigitte: —"My little boy, I know you love following me everywhere... but you know how attached Maddie is to you."
—She has a very strange way of showing it.
Brigitte tilted her head slightly.
Brigitte: —"What do you mean? She has always taken good care of you, hasn't she?"
—No... it's nothing.
Brigitte looked at him carefully.
Brigitte: —"It's okay if you don't want to tell me. But when I come back for you, I'll bring you one of those chocolate ice creams you love so much. How about that?"
—Really? You promise?
Brigitte smiled.
Brigitte: —"When have I ever failed you?"
—Thanks, Mom.
Brigitte: —"We've arrived."
After finally reaching the house and ringing the doorbell, the door opened.
A teenage girl appeared.
She had a beautiful slender figure, brown hair, and gray eyes hidden behind glasses. She wore a white shirt and a dark skirt.
The moment she saw little Brian, her expression brightened.
She hugged him immediately.
Maddison Whitmore: —"This little guy gets cuter every day."
My mom laughed.
Brigitte: —"Yes, my little boy will become a huge headache once he grows up."
Maddison smiled.
Maddison: —"It's a shame I'm too old for him."
Brigitte raised an eyebrow.
Brigitte: —"You just turned sixteen, didn't you? Who knows? Maybe you'll have a chance someday."
Maddison laughed.
Maddison: —"I'll accept your joke."
I looked at both and said:
—I'm right here, you know.
Brigitte looked down at Brian.
—"Alright, grumpy. Behave yourself and don't get close to Spike."
Maddison nodded.
Maddison: —"Don't worry, Mrs. Murphy. After the last incident, we decided to keep him in the backyard, tied to a post."
Brigitte sighed in relief.
Brigitte:—"That's good to hear. I just hope little Timmy is okay..."
She looked at Maddison.
Brigitte:—"Well, take care of my little boy."
Maddison smiled confidently.
Maddison: —"Don't worry. Brian learns many things from me."
Brigitte waved.
Brigitte:—"Goodbye. Take care of yourselves."
After mom left...
The young girl closed the door and locked it.
Then she stared at little Brian.
A smile slowly appeared on her face.
Maddison: —"I'm sorry, Brian. My little sister went to spend the summer at my grandparents' house in Florida, and my parents are currently at work."
She leaned closer.
Maddison: —"That means it's just you and me again."
—Yeah.
Maddison tilted her head.
Maddison: —"What? Don't you like my lessons?"
—No.
Her expression changed.
Maddison:—"What?"
—I don't know... I just feel weird.
Brian looked away.
—And I always feel like I need to pee.
Maddison's expression became serious.
Maddison: —"You haven't told anyone about our secret lessons, right?"
—You told me not to tell anyone.
Brian looked at her.
—I haven't.
A small smile appeared on Maddison's face.
—A promise is a promise.
She smiled.
Maddison:—"Oh, Brian..."
She gently touched his head.
Maddison: —"You have a talent for this. That's why I want you to grow up and be able to have any girl you want falling at your feet."
Brian frowned slightly.
—I know your intentions aren't bad...
He hesitated.
—But what happened with Spike?
Maddison's expression darkened slightly.
Maddison: —"He attacked Timmy and bit his hand this morning."
She looked away.
Maddison: —"He's currently at the clinic to see if they can save it."
Brian froze.
—Then?
Maddison sighed.
Maddison: —"Yes."
She crossed her arms.
Maddison: —"This would be the eighth incident already. And if we get sued again..."
Her voice became quieter.
Maddison: —"I think Spike won't have any choice but to be put down."
—I understand.
She smiled again.
Maddison: —"Come on. Let's go upstairs and begin today's lesson."
—O-okay.
---
Two hours later
—Maddie?
Maddie: —"I'm finishing my shower."
A pause.
—"Did you do what I asked?"
—Yes.
Brian looked away.
—The sheets are already being washed.
Maddie: —"Remember to take a shower after me."
—I will.
Maddie: —"Ah... Brian."
—W-what happened?
Maddie: —"Nothing."
A small laugh.
Maddie: —"I was just thinking that you're going to make many women happy when you grow up."
—Thanks?
Maddie: —"But remember..."
Her voice softened.
Maddie: —"I was the first person who taught you, okay?"
—Yes.
And then...
Brian heard the doorbell.
He went downstairs and opened the door.
It was Mrs. Silverman.
She was carrying little Timmy.
His hand was covered in bandages.
Brian immediately understood.
They had amputated it.
The furious woman had tears in her eyes.
She demanded to speak with the Whitmore family.
But Brian explained that they weren't home.
After a moment...
Mrs. Silverman clenched her fists.
—"I'll come back later."
She looked at him coldly.
—"With my lawyers."
Brian remained frozen.
He looked at Timmy.
The boy's eyes were empty.
Timmy loved playing.
He loved painting.
With both hands.
And now...
One was gone.
Brian slowly closed the door.
Then he walked directly toward the kitchen.
He searched.
And searched.
Until he found it.
A very sharp knife.
He grabbed it.
And without hesitation...
He walked toward the backyard.
The bulldog was sleeping.
So deeply that it didn't even notice him approaching.
Brian stopped in front of him.
Then memories flashed through his mind.
All those times he had played with Spike.
When the dog was just a puppy.
When he and Alice had run around together.
His grip tightened around the knife.
And then...
He began stabbing.
The little boy Brian...
Was delivering what he believed was justice.
...
Maddie had gone downstairs to open the door for Brigitte.
Neither of them heard anything coming from the backyard.
Brigitte, holding a large chocolate ice cream, walked toward the kitchen.
But when Brian finished...
His hands and clothes were covered in blood.
He returned to the kitchen to wash himself and put the knife back where it belonged.
What he never expected...
Was his mother seeing him like that.
The ice cream slipped from Brigitte's hand.
It fell to the floor.
Her expression changed.
Terror.
Absolute terror.
And that was the first time...
Brian felt like a monster.
---
Present
When I opened my eyes...
My heart was beating violently.
But it was nothing compared to the pain I had felt before.
The only good thing was that now...
I had a very small but visible amount of mana.
It was similar to soft, faint plasma rays emerging from my fingers.
Gathering together in the palms of my hands.
Then I received a new notification.
[Ding!]
[System Notification:Conditions fulfilled. You have obtained the minimum passive ability required to learn magic.]
[Skill obtained: «Mana Manipulation» — Rank C]
After reading it...
I noticed a tear sliding down my cheek.
I quickly wiped it away.
Then I clenched my fists.
But at that moment, Artia spoke.
[Marshal, what happened?]
[Your facial expression... is intimidating.]
—Nothing.
I just remembered something from a long time ago.
[I see.]
[Did remembering it bring you discomfort?]
—Nah.
I looked at my hands.
—It was from the time when I still had it.
[I do not understand what you mean.]
—Don't worry about it.
Then I looked around.
—Hey, why are you suddenly talking to me?
[Because I detected signs of the radiation known as mana emerging from your body.]
[I wanted to monitor you in case you displayed any symptoms.]
—Symptoms?
[Yes.]
[Symptoms of the disease that affected ancient humanity due to mana radiation.]
My expression changed.
—What kind of symptoms?
[The first stage began with a change in body pigmentation, turning purple or blue.]
[After that came severe vomiting, swelling of the eyes, rupture of ocular blood vessels, accelerated breathing, and finally...]
[A collapse of the nervous system.]
—Damn...
[Yes.]
[It was not a pleasant spectacle to witness, Marshal.]
I looked at my hands again.
—Thanks for worrying about me, Artia.
But I'm fine.
[Understood.]
[I have deployed the Phantom-class destroyer outside.]
[As a result, some citizens have become alarmed, but I have already informed Miss Noelle that the matter is related to you.]
—Thanks for your efficiency.
[I am at your disposal one hundred percent, Marshal.]
After hearing her response...
I decided to tease Quincy.
—See?
That's how you should act, Quincy.
[Perish, Master. 凸( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ)凸]
I frowned.
—See?
You don't respect your creator.
[I do not care. ( ͡◡ ͜ʖ ͡◡)]
—You know that if I wanted to, I could terminate your services.
[You will not. (✿◠‿◠)]
I raised an eyebrow.
—And why are you so confident about that?
[Because Master does not feel alone when speaking with me. (╹▽╹)]
I went silent for a moment.
—Wait...
How do you know that?
[Female instinct. (>‿◠)✌]
I stared blankly.
—But you're an AI.
[And? (ー_ー゛)]
[I identify as female. Do you have a problem with that? (⊙‿☉)]
—No.
I looked away.
(But you're literally a machine...)
[Perhaps I am a machine. ＼(ﾟｰﾟ＼)]
[However, the more time I spend with you, the more I observe that I do not have many differences from a human being. (눈‸눈)]
[Of course... (ʃƪ＾3＾)]
[Unlike humans, I do not possess the quality of making mistakes. ☜(ˆ▿ˆc)]
—Arrogant.
[You are arrogant as well. (=_=)]
[Except without reason. (ಡ ͜ ʖ ಡ)]
—It's different.
I know I still have room to maneuver in this situation.
[How? (ಠಿ_ಠ)]
—Room to maneuver means understanding that the circumstances will not exceed the limit I can control.
[Mmm... (ರ_ರ)]
[I had never viewed it that way. ¯\_( ❛ ₃ ❛ )_/¯]
—That's the fundamental difference between humans.
Our ability to create.
[I do not see why it is so essential. ( ͡ᵔ Ĺ̯ ͡ᵔ)]
[I possess it as well. (ಠ‿ಠ)]
—Who gave it to you?
[You. (≖.≖)]
I stared at her words.
—Fine.
Let's end this conversation here.
I feel like this is progressing unnecessarily.
[I agree, Master. ( ─ ₒ ─ )✌]