Never had Yan Si felt his mind and heart as light as this moment; speaking out a thing that his very self had always feared since former times turned out precisely to be the best liberation.
Departing was also painful, yet one fine day time would assist him in healing all injuries, rather than clinging in attachment to this place to perform nothing at all, exhausted to the utmost.
In the final analysis, Yan Si again raised his eyes up looking upon RongCheng, saying: "Grateful to Your Highness for having once treated this humble entity well; toward days to come, praying to wish for the person to always be happy."
Wishing for the person to always be happy ah?
"And you? What about yourself? Where will you go toward afterward?"
"Me…?" What was there for him to say? Those long dark streaks of days were solely full of loneliness and despair, because of that he again shook his head: "I shall live well."
Albeit being unknowing grass and trees, one still lives well, what was there to worry?
Right in this moment, Yan Si solely wished to search for a wild and desolate forest, a place where human beings were incapable of setting foot, to peacefully live at that place, that was all.
A single sentence stating he would live well from Yan Si, together along with every single intention of his, RongCheng heard through and instantly understood out… When affairs reached the stage of conclusion, every single thing fell back into its place; he accepted his very self being cast away one further turn.
Right in this moment, RongCheng, what ought he to speak? What ought he to do? Was it not that he saw not? Was it not capable of comprehending clearly?
Every single word he spoke contained how much pain and sorrow, yet he still strived to force a smile, in the final analysis concluding by a single sentence severing the bond of sworn brotherhood. He spoke as though two completely estranged strangers, with a single heart decisively departing away.
He was in pain, and the heart of RongCheng unfeelingly was also being scratched and torn to pieces by someone, incapable of uttering words, also knowing not by what means to perform so as to be good?
Time slowly passed by, catching sight of Mao Zi consuming all the rice, then the domain of Yan Si's heart felt all the more aching; he embraced it for one final turn, softly instructing: "Toward afterward, returning along with His Highness, you must be good, do you know? Do you know?"
Mao Zi at this moment completely drooped its tail down, seemingly it knew its very self was about to depart far away from its master, so it was completely unhappy.
Yan Si again spoke: "Departing today, this lifetime of ours will possess no further opportunity to meet one another; hoping you live truly well, truly joyful... consuming much is also fine, transforming into a pig is also acceptable, living truly strong and healthy, do you know?"
The instructions dedicated toward Mao Zi caused the heart of RongCheng to turn all the more tightly clenched and aching.
Every single thing Yan Si uttered was like words of final testament. He still knew how to love, how to care, how to feel aching in heart because of those persons he had once treated with his entire heart. Still hoping they lived truly well, only then would he feel at peace in heart to depart.
As for his own individual self, because of knowing his very self to be a sinful entity, deserving to be cast away, so he thought not a single thought: "Who would go to pity and care for a trash entity like me?"
And if there were, he also would not because of that small shred of pity hesitate; living inside this imperial palace caused him to be simultaneously fearful and tired, solely wishing to early turn back to the desolate place.
From Liú Yu to Xiao Yi, one scheming and deceitful entity, one traitorous entity, and finally RongCheng, the person unto whom he had surrendered his entire soul and physical body, solely to exchange for cold casting away without the slightest hesitation.
Lingering in attachment across a long while, Yan Si released Mao Zi and then fastened the chain onto the collar, at the same time handing it back over to RongCheng, in a lowered voice instructing: "From now on I hand it back over to Your Highness; entreating you to take care of it truly meticulously, assisting it to exercise a small bit, letting it not throughout the day consume and sleep; like that will not be good for it."
At this moment, he suddenly remembered an affair, thereupon suggesting: "Ah right, if Your Highness wishes to thoroughly forget this humble entity, I possess a type of medicine…"
Catching a glimpse of RongCheng knitting his brows, he guessed he feared he was setting a trap again, instantly explaining: "No… no harming the mental senses… solely that upon consuming it, one will instantly forget everything regarding the humble entity… I… absolutely do not harm Your Highness… I entreating to take my life out to swear an oath!"
Yan Si also knew his life was cheap and worthless, not worthy of RongCheng trusting, again dejectedly speaking: "Forget it then…"
Truly possessing such a method to assist the person in swiftly erasing cleanly all memories regarding himself, then there would no longer remain any moment instinctively remembering a person like him had once existed.
The person standing right there, having once been close and attached wrapping around one another every single night, now suddenly turned estranged… Yan Si suddenly realized his very self thought in excess already; RongCheng considered him as trash, whether at present or toward afterward how would he remember him.
Yan Si shook his head, sighed, stood up, turned his back, and walked away; the door gently closed shut, at this moment he suddenly heard the sound of Mao Zi scratching the door barking noisily, manifesting the intent of wishing to enter the house.
From young it was accustomed to living at this place; naturally it wished not to depart anywhere whatsoever, nor wished to follow RongCheng; it wished to be permitted to enter the house to lie down upon its familiar nest to sleep a truly fine sleep, after that awaiting its master to stroke, pamper, and spoil it, at leisure biting the legs of the cabinet, the legs of the table… it liked to be thus.
Mao Zi continuously scratched, continuously scratched, causing the domain of Yan Si's heart to ache to the point of knowing not by what means to handle it; he collapsed down sitting leaning his back against the door to weep, tears rolling long across his cheeks like a gushing spring, incapable of any method to stop them, solely in a lowered voice speaking: "Go away… go away… pray you scratch no further… scratch no further..."
Because tomorrow he would also depart away from this place, possessing no Xiao Yi and also lacking himself, it would have to alone and isolated remain at this place; how could it be capable of living? Like that, how heartbreakingly painful would he feel?
From the exterior, RongCheng heard the sound of sobbing though exceedingly soft; having been in such pain, why must he decisively depart? Previously he had always stubbornly clung in attachment to remain; why right now did he suddenly wish to go? Or was he intentionally playing tricks of soft yielding tying tight to ignite his pity? Yet…
Who would have known that when Yan Si wept, the tears of RongCheng were also incapable of stopping falling… In the final analysis, enduring it no further, he forcefully embraced Mao Zi and departed away.