Standing numbly for a long while, Yan Si solely gently shook his head: "No requirement, I require not to claim the corpse back."
Spoke so, Yan Si closed the door and then walked over to the place of Mao Zi; he sat down beside it, breaking into a bleak smile, saying: "Xiao Yi has been harmed to death already; I find myself truly envious of him."
Human life was originally exceedingly fragile; after performing countless wicked affairs, one would then be permitted to die away, whereas his very self still had to live amidst those exceedingly foul days and months without end, devoid of a path of liberation.
Thinking toward it, Yan Si again embraced Mao Zi and then lay upon its frame, in a lowered voice saying: "I also wish myself to be like him, permanently departing far away from this painful and suffering human existence."
Knew he not whether Mao Zi understood the words its master spoke or not; its tail flicked lightly and then lowered down, its gaze looking upon him also carrying a trace of drooped, sorrowful bleakness.
"Most likely I ought to cast aside and depart as well, yet toward days to come, who knows who will take care of you." Devoid of Xiao Yi, devoid of his very self… how did it know to live?
Better off striving to live at this place; whichever day still possessed Mao Zi, Yan Si also would not depart, unless finding a better place to entrust it.
The following morning, Yan Si slept a sleep all the way to noon, his ears all of a sudden hearing the sound of a bronze washbasin clattering noisily, and thereupon awakened.
He strived to sit up and instantly caught sight of Mao Zi; it was biting upon its food container bronze washbasin, throwing it up and casting it down, manifesting the intent of demanding food.
Catching sight of it thus, Yan Si knitted his brows, calling: "Xiao Yi… Xiao Yi…"
Strange indeed, why today did Xiao Yi not arrive to awaken him? Furthermore even bothering not to bring food for Mao Zi either?
Thinking so, Yan Si again called a few additional turns: "Xiao Yi… Xiao Yi…"
The space was completely still and quiet, possessing solely the sound of Mao Zi's bronze washbasin continuously clattering demanding food.
All the way until a long while after, Yan Si only then emotionally and suddenly awakened: "What… am I calling?"
That child had already been driven away by him, after that furthermore harmed to death by someone already… where still remained anyone to call?
From now on this place would all the more become deserted and quiet, no longer possessing anyone frequenting over, then where knowing to obtain food to feed Mao Zi here?
Looking upon Mao Zi demanding food, the domain of Yan Si's heart all of a sudden felt aching immensely; he could manage not to eat, yet how could it endure hunger?
Yan Si lightly lowered his feet down from the bed, walking over to stroke and massage the head of Mao Zi, saying: "Pray you demand food no further; endure with hardship a small bit, can it be done or not?"
How was Mao Zi willing to listen and follow? It still continued throwing and casting the basin, manifesting the intent of sulking. Yan Si solely gently shook his head, truly knowing not by what means to handle it.
Knew he not whether eldest brother knew Xiao Yi had been murdered already or not? Most likely the person would assign someone else to bring food over, would he not?
Thinking toward it, Yan Si again stroked its head, consoling: "Pray you strive to endure a small bit; there will be someone bringing food over for you straight away."
Nevertheless, awaiting on and on all the way to afternoon, still no one arrived; both of them had already grown faint and weak with hunger.
In the final analysis, at present Mao Zi had also given up, clattering the bronze washbasin no further, occasionally solely utilizing its front paws to push the basin and raising its eyes up to look upon its master.
Looking upon it solely all the more caused Yan Si to feel heartbreaking pain, knowing not what his very self was waiting for further.
That day, RongCheng had also spoken clearly: if he departed not, then toward days to come, whatever calamity or life and death he encountered, he would also remain indifferent.
Recalling how prior to this the person was good by how much, then right now he was cruel by how much; those fine memories having passed solely all the more caused the domain of his heart to turn all the more bitter.
And who else cared about his pain and suffering?
Three days passed by, Mao Zi truly was hungry to the point of being unable to walk further; even so, it still bothered not to touch or move the bronze washbasin.
Yan Si nearly day and night stayed awake all night sitting beside Mao Zi throughout, even intending to utilize his own blood to feed the dog, yet conversely it disdained and bothered not to consume. If only it were willing to drink, he definitely would flay skin and slice flesh to drain dry his blood… like this he knew not by what means to handle it.
Catching sight of it being excessively exhausted and emaciated, Yan Si could endure it no further, only then deciding to stealthily send a letter arranging to meet Shang Yuan.
In the afternoon, Yan Si stood silently beside the lotus pond, thinking Shang Yuan might not arrive, yet still striving to await.
Not long after, all of a sudden there was the shadow of a person arriving; Yan Si just caught sight of him and thereupon displayed joy and gladness.
In truth, during this stage, solely this single person was the one who drove him not away.
Shang Yuan arrived beside, looking upon Yan Si across a moment, asking: "Are you still well?"
Hearing the question, Yan Si instantly nodded his head, forcing a smile, replying: "This humble entity is still well, yet… Mao Zi is not well in the slightest. For many days already no one has brought food over for it; looking upon it starving and fainting away is truly exceedingly pitiable… Can you… assist this humble entity one further turn, telling someone to bring food over for it, can it be done or not?"
If a dog possessed no food to consume, then most likely a human being was also thus; looking upon Yan Si's countenance at present, it was immensely hollow and emaciated, his eyes bruised and deeply ringed as though having slept not for many days.
Like that, yet he still claimed himself to be well? His very self could not even manage his own worries, yet came to meet him solely to beg for food for a dog? And what about himself individually? Shang Yuan, albeit immensely wishing to ask, nevertheless ceased, solely nodding his head in agreement: "Very well."
Hearing it granted, Yan Si joyfully and chirpily said: "Grateful to you… this humble entity truly feels grateful to you..."
After that, he thereupon in a hurry requested permission to withdraw; Shang Yuan looking following him solely shook his head, sighing: "For what cause must you suffer so bitterly?"
The person naturally knew not; Yan Si what further choice did he possess.
Day by day he had to fumble and struggle endlessly amidst despair, knowing not which path led to escape.
Even if at present suffering pain and hardship no matter how, Yan Si still dared not arrive to meet RongCheng, dared not plead toward him, because of the promise and also because the person originally wished not to look upon his face further; even if seeking him, he would solely be driven away.
The oath of sworn brotherhood had died a long while ago, possessing no further hope whatsoever.