I trudge through the forest, boots crunching over a carpet of pine needles and scattered rocks that make every step a calculated risk. We've been marching for a few hours now, since before dawn cracked the sky open like a raw egg. The initial flat trails through the southern plains gave way to this dense woodland climbing into rocky hills, where the trees thin out and granite boulders jut from the earth like old bones. Helix moves quick but quiet, a ghost unit slipping toward Baelin with the intent of murder. The air smells of damp earth and resin, sharp and clean, but it does nothing to clear the fog in my head.
The markless soldiers; Hudson, Root, Ivy, and Max lead the way with the horses they secured back at Oakheaven. Smart move on Hudsons part no one's tiring out Sola by making her burn her wind mark to ferry them all. She's up front anyway, scouting with that effortless grace of hers, eyes scanning the ridgeline for any twitch of movement. The horses snort softly, hooves clattering on stone as the soldiers guide them up the incline, reins taut in callused hands. We've dismounted here where the path turns treacherous, a steep scramble over loose shale and fallen logs. Hudson mutters a low curse when his boot slips.
I walk near the middle of the column, my hand resting on my sword hilt out of habit. My body moves on autopilot feet finding purchase on loose stone, balance adjusting to the slope, breathing steady and controlled but my mind is elsewhere.
I'm trying to access my soul sea while moving. Trying to slip into that meditative state, to visualize the void and the black ocean and the constellations that represent my power.
It's not working.
Every time I start to sink into the necessary trance, something pulls me back. A horse whinnies. Someone's boot dislodges a stone that clatters down the hill. A branch snaps underfoot.
The physical world keeps intruding, breaking my concentration before I can fully detach.
I take a breath and try again.
Close my eyes—just for a moment, trusting my feet to keep moving. Focus on the cold. On Proctor Deng's classroom. On that specific sensation of—
My boot catches on a root. I stumble slightly, eyes snapping open to catch my balance.
Tenth attempt. Tenth failure.
I grit my teeth in frustration.
I feel Lucian nudge at our bond and I allow the connection.
"Having trouble there, my good man?"
Lucian's voice appears in my mind, amused and far too cheerful for this outing.
I let out a short, irritated breath through my nose. Not now.
"Oh, I think now is perfect, Lucian continues, and I can practically hear the grin in his mental voice. Couldn't help but notice you were... occupied last night. Very occupied. Extremely, thoroughly, enthusiastically occupied."
"I have no idea what you're talking about," I reply my face growing hot.
"Really?" Lucian's amusement increases. "Because I'm pretty sure I felt some very intense emotions coming through our bond. So focused that you let your mental wall down. Fuck you for waking me up by the way"
"Shut up."
"Now, now my good man I get it", he looks over at me as we walk and gives me the biggest shiteating grin i've ever seen. "Though honestly, after last night I'm surprised you're able to keep up with us in this hike. Are you busy replaying certain... highlights to get through it?"
Memories slip through before I can wall them off: Cecilia's short blonde hair fanned across my chest, her hazel eyes half-lidded in the candlelight, the soft hitch in her breath when my mouth found the curve of her throat. The way her fingers curled into my hair, tugging just hard enough to sting.
Lucian laughs—bright, delighted, echoing in my skull. There it is. Gods, Ayato, the desk? Really? Very... athletic. And that little growl you made when she—
I will find a way to strangle you through this link.
He laughs again in delight. "Sure, sure!"
"I'm going to kill you," I say flatly. "I'm going to actually, genuinely kill you and it will hurt."
You can try, Lucian replies cheerfully. But that would require you to look me in the eye, which I don't think you'll be able to do for at least a week. Maybe a month."
"Sever it immediately. Our bond right now" I ask desperately.
"Well despite the profound inconvenience of experiencing your sex life secondhand, the bond is still useful for keeping you alive as well as myself, you know, since you're such a big strong Awakened with three marks" He snickers again.
I groan out loud and a few heads turn in my direction. Vihaan, appearing suddenly at my side, raises an eyebrow. "You alright, LT?"
"Fine," I snap. "Perfectly fine. Just having an internal crisis. Nothing to worry about."
Vihaan smirks and gives me a mocking salute.
An internal crisis Lucian repeats in my head. Is that what we're calling it? Because from where I was experiencing it, there was nothing internal about—
"I swear to every god that might exist, if you finish that sentence
He laughs again "
"I hate you."
"No you don't. You're just embarrassed because your one and only super cool and handsome partner accidentally became an unwilling participant in your romantic escapades. Which, for the record, is really funny only because it wasnt me. I'd kill myself if I was you in this situation."
"Please stop talking about last night."
"No promises! Next time secure your own privacy!"
"Privacy is always desired," I say emphatically. "From now on. Forever. I want the emotional equivalent of a brick wall between us."
"Noted. Though again its your fault but I do have to say, it's nice to know you're capable of positive emotions. You're usually so brooding and murderous. It was almost charming."
"Please die" I sneer
"Ahh my good man you would miss me. And don't worry you're stuck with me and I am stuck with you. For life, remember. Or until one of us dies horribly in service to the empire."
"Till death do us part? Just fucking put me out of my misery!" I sigh
"Isn't it just great? We'll do so much fun stuff I'm sure!"
I snort and slam our mental link closed with as much force as I can shooting him a dity glare that he just smirks at.
Fucking prick.