HER
The train station is quiet.
Turpentine is thick in the air and my hands are slick where I grip my small leather bag I'll keep with me on the train.
I won't ever be back.
My heart squeezes painfully.
At least I got my goodbyes this time. Mrs. Hobbs and Mr. Stephens had looked at me like they knew. Knew I would stay if I could. That it kills me not to.
I push out an unsteady breath.
The sun crawls across the sky.
A sparrow comes and hops energetically a few feet from me and I throw him some cheese bread Mrs. Kozlov packed for me, before taking a large bite.
I sniffle, trying to contain my tears, toeing the ground with my boot, when I hear the commotion.
"Sir, please, your… horse?"
There's scuffling, accompanied by a low, dangerous voice.
My breath rushes out, dormant fear yawning awake inside me.
He… he couldn't possibly be here.
Thomas.
Not when I'm so close to being out of his reach again.
I stand, making my way towards the noise, knowing it would be useless to run if he's here already. Before I can make it through the door, it's thrown open.
Aleksi towers in front of me.
Relief and sadness punch through me.
I haven't really looked at him since that day. Since he confirmed that he didn't want to be with me.
Honestly? He looks… somehow awful and perfect at the same time.
Dark circles are smudged under his grey eyes and he has a gaunt look about him. And yet.
His hair is tousled, pieces falling across his shining brow.
He's flushed, either with heat or exertion, perhaps both, in a way that makes his eyes pop. His white shirt is undone a few buttons, the sleeves rolled past his elbows. The suspenders hang abandoned by his sides. He looks like he stepped off the pages of a fairytale, a knight arriving in all his glory to save a princess.
All I can do is stare. And it seems I'm not the only one.
He doesn't look away from me for a second.
"Aleksi?" I whisper, unable to keep the surprise from my voice.
He looks like he ran here. It's much too far, but perhaps he rode here? My head spins with confusion, and ice settles in my gut. Why would he rush here if it was not an emergency?
I lean forward, grabbing his arms.
"What is it? Is everyone okay? What's happened?"
He only stares at me and real fear starts to slide down my back. I search his face for any clues, but his expression is unreadable.
"You're not married."
That is not what I expected, and frustration floods me.
"Of course I'm not, what does that have to do with anything?"
I'm trying to get him back on topic, desperate to know why he rushed here alone.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
I huff, too frustrated to question him.
"Because you already knew. Adah told you, you said. You…" The name sticks in my throat, but I push through. "You mentioned Thomas."
He closes his eyes, nodding slightly. His expression seems to be pained and I feel as though I might combust.
"Aleksi please, what on earth happened? Why are you here?"
He says nothing for a moment. Only looks at me, face too conflicted to decipher. Suddenly he stands up straighter, pushes the hair from his face, and is taken over by a determined expression.
"Stay here."
My heart soars traitorously at the words, but I try to smother it.
Don't get excited.
After all, he still ignored my letter those years ago. I'm still not safe here. Maybe he's asking out of guilt? Pity?
"I can't."
I try to sound firm, but my voice wobbles uncertainly. I clench my fists, trying to control my emotions.
"We could find a way."
We.
I'm shaking my head when he starts, squeezing my eyes closed. Hope is not something I can have. Even when he makes it sound like the easiest thing in the world.
"Aleksi…"
His expression finally shifts, only it shifts into a scowl, and it's gone as quickly as it appeared. He runs a hand through his hair, pulling my eyes. I look away as if burned, trying to keep the heat from my face.
"Fine… just," He huffs impatiently. "Come back to the house, stay for tonight."
I'm still bewildered by his sudden change in attitude, and am about to tell him no, when the conductor walks out of the office lazily.
He's poker thin with a bushy mustache, cap pulled low over his brow.
"What are you two doing here?"
His eyes narrow in suspicion, looking at us like common criminals.
"For the 5 o'clock train, Sir."
I don't bother keeping the indignity out of my voice.
He just shakes his head.
"Cancelled, there was an accident on the tracks in Avenele, nothing can get through."
"Thanks sir, we'll be on our way then."
Aleksi's voice is light, but thick with his accent for once.
It sends goosebumps over my arms.
I turn, gaping at him, indignant. He's already taken my bag from me and has a hand on the small of my back, leading me off the platform.
"Wha—Aleksi!"
Annoyance flares in me at his blatant disregard for my protests. But what can I do if the train is truly cancelled?
My heavy sigh turns into a groan as he gets further away from me, still carrying my bag.
I pause, torn.
Go with him or dig my heels in?
Sweat sticks his shirt to his back, the muscles beneath it shifting as he walks. He came all this way.
Scrubbing a hand over my face I call after him.
"Aleksi, wait!"
—
"There's no way I'm getting on that thing with you."
A large brown horse stands haphazardly tied to a post outside the train station.
I tuck the information that he rode here away in my brain.
"Sure you are."
He's already tying my small bag to the saddle. I scowl at his back.
"What about my trunks?"
"We can send a carriage for them when we get back to the house."
I huff at his perfectly reasonable words, annoyed beyond belief.
"Aleksi Kazarin you cannot be serious."
His hands pause for a second, and I think I might be getting through to him, but he only huffs and continues fixing the horse's saddle. Only when he's finished does he turn back to me, smiling serenely.
"Ready?"
"No."
"Get on the horse, Laura." My scowl only deepens, and he raises his hands in surrender. "Please?"
I squirm under his earnestness. Sighing, I relinquish the truth.
"I… I don't know how to ride. I've never been on a horse."
His eyebrows shoot up before he schools his expression into one of gentle understanding. Gesturing me over, he speaks to me as though I am a skittish animal.
"It's okay, I won't let anything happen."
Flushing in nervousness and embarrassment, I let him help me onto the horse.
It's terrifying.
The horse huffs, its ears twitching, and I feel my heart rate jump. I practically scream when it shifts its weight, ready to tell Aleksi to get me off the damn thing.
Before I can, he settles behind me, half on the saddle, and wraps his arms around me to grip the reins. I feel almost feverish with how hot my face burns, sweat sliding down my neck.
He practically dwarfs me like this, perfectly able to see over my head and steer us with his long legs. His soft words to the horse do nothing to calm me, in fact, they send shivers skittering over my limbs.
I try to keep my breathing even as we start traveling towards home.
What the hell is happening?