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"No can do," Luo Wei mercilessly extended her hand toward him. "Hand over the self-criticism essay, Senior."
"Alas!" The guinea pig threw its head back with a dramatic sigh, then resignedly lifted the paw clutching the essay. "Fine. Here."
Luo Wei suspected nothing. She crouched down to take it.
A glint flashed in the guinea pig's eyes. The slowly raised paw snapped back in an instant, and the essay went straight to its mouth, CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH. It lowered its head and gnawed furiously. The dried parchment went down like a thin cracker, three bites maybe four, and it was gone.
Evidence destroyed, the guinea pig shook its head with a flourish and cheerfully stretched out both paws. "Can't hand it over now. Arrest me if you want."
The essay was in his stomach. If she wanted to arrest him, he had absolutely no intention of resisting.
Luo Wei stared at him with an indescribable expression. "Your teeth are really something, Senior."
The guinea pig's whiskers twitched as it smiled. "You flatter me."
"Aren't you worried they'll just make you write it again when they catch you?"
"What's there to worry about? A day delayed is a day gained." Sebastian was utterly shameless about it. "I graduate in five months. I've got enough credits left to absorb deductions through the end of this semester."
Luo Wei: ...
Truly worthy of being the brave senior who once used magic to steal water.
"In that case, Senior. Sorry about this." She flipped the net, scooped him up, and sprinted toward the church nearby.
The student council office was inside. Professor Tobias's owl kept watch here through the night.
Once she'd delivered him, Luo Wei set the net on the floor and let the guinea pig walk out on his own.
The owl was perched on the desk. It saw the guinea pig and its eyes went perfectly round.
"This is Senior Sebastian Noel," Luo Wei said quickly. "He attempted to destroy the self-criticism essays on the bulletin board. I caught him in the act."
The owl stared at the guinea pig with undisguised hunger and repeated, word for word: "This is Senior Sebastian Noel. He attempted to destroy the self-criticism essays on the bulletin board. I caught him in the act."
"Yes," Luo Wei said. "He ate the essay."
"Yes," the owl said. "He ate the essay."
"Please reassure the Professor , I came prepared. I made copies of every essay on the board. Destroying the originals won't help anyone."
The owl recited back without missing a syllable: "Please reassure the Professor , I came prepared. I made copies of every essay on the board. Destroying the originals won't help anyone."
The devastating news played twice. On the floor, the guinea pig slowly twisted his stiff neck toward Luo Wei. His eyes brimmed with the shattered light of unshed tears.
Who said junior girls were all little sweethearts? Was what he'd encountered tonight a sweetheart?
This sweetheart had an iron weight stuffed inside her.
The corners of Luo Wei's mouth curved up into a smile she couldn't quite suppress. "Sorry, Senior. Looks like tonight isn't going your way."
Credit: plus one. Mood forecast: sunny.
The guinea pig pressed a paw to its chest and closed its eyes. "It's fine."
Luo Wei gave a small curtsy to the guinea pig and the owl, said her goodbyes, and turned to leave.
At the door, she stopped and looked back.
"Thank you, Senior."
Sebastian was a magic apprentice in the advanced division. If he'd really wanted to destroy all the essays and bolt, she'd never have caught him.
Behind her, the guinea pig opened his eyes. A moment passed. Then a satisfied smile settled across his face.
"Don't mention it, junior."
He had credits to spare. Donating one to a poor junior who needed it. That was exactly what he'd thought when he saw her show up. Luo Wei was, after all, the legendary figure who'd had forty credits deducted in a single go. That kind of person earned respect even from the old hands in the advanced division.
...
Luo Wei left the student council office at a near-run and headed straight back to the bulletin board.
She hoped she hadn't missed anything while she was gone.
She was lucky. As she came within sight of the board, she spotted a pitch-black little thief peeling parchment off the wall.
At the same moment, a flash of silver light cut through the woods behind the bulletin board and streaked away toward the Rose Garden.
Gratis?
Luo Wei hesitated for exactly one second.
She let it go. The little wolf was too cute. She'd let her off.
But the dark shape still crouched under the bulletin board , a slow, wicked smile spread across Luo Wei's face.
Better you than me, friend. Theodore, my apologies.
She hoisted the long-handled net and broke into a full sprint. She was at the bulletin board in seconds, dropping the net from above with clean precision. Her layered skirts billowed as her feet hit the ground.
"OW!"
The cry startled her more than she'd like to admit.
"Shh! It's me — shut up!" she hissed.
That yell could've woken the entire school.
"Luo Wei?" Theodore's voice came through the mesh, muffled and bewildered. "Why is it you? Are you here to steal the essays too?"
Luo Wei paused. Then nodded. "You guessed it."
"Then what's this thing for?" He pushed experimentally at the netting around him.
"To carry the essays," Luo Wei said, completely straight-faced. "No fingerprints this way. The supervisors won't be able to trace it back to us."
"Fingerprints?"
"The patterns on your fingertips. Everyone's are different."
"Oh—" Theodore gave a thumbs up. "You always think of everything!"
Luo Wei smiled and lifted the net off his head. "Right. Put all the essays in here , quickly. I know a spot where we can burn the whole stack without anyone seeing."
"Yes! Once they're burned, no one can touch us!" Theodore scooped up the scattered pile of parchment and dumped it into the net. "You didn't even have to come out tonight, by the way. I grabbed yours too."
Luo Wei: My conscience is in genuine pain right now.
But the credits...
"Where are we burning them?" Theodore asked.
Luo Wei was quiet for a few seconds.
"Theodore," she said. "I'll give you ten seconds. Run."
"Run?" He blinked. "Why would I run?"
"Because I'm here to catch you."
Theodore: "???"
"Wait — what? You're catching me?"
Luo Wei took hold of his arm, her expression completely level. "Theodore. Tonight I'm responsible for guarding this bulletin board. You are formally under arrest for attempting to steal self-criticism essays."
Theodore: "..."
"Student Theodore, please come with me."
Theodore: "..."
Ten minutes later, a thoroughly dejected Theodore arrived at the student council office and found himself sitting beside Sebastian Noel, who had at some point shifted back into human form and was wrapped in a blanket to preserve what little dignity remained.
Two credits secured. Luo Wei dusted off her hands, picked up the net, and walked back to the scene.
Theodore had shown up. Could Hall really be far behind? He was also on the list for a public self-criticism in front of the entire school.
But the night stretched on, and nothing moved. Maybe they were all asleep. Maybe they'd lost their nerve. Either way, no one came.
Luo Wei waited for hours. Eventually she couldn't stop a yawn from cracking her jaw open.
The hand gripping the net handle had gone numb with cold. The air around her was perfectly still.
Staying in one spot for too long in temperatures like this was genuinely dangerous.
Reluctantly, she set the net down and jogged the perimeter twice to warm up. By the time she'd run two laps around the academy, she was nearly sweating. Then she slipped quietly back to her post near the bulletin board.
The moon had dropped toward the horizon. Time crawled past four in the morning.
Luo Wei had almost convinced herself the night was over.
Then something strange drifted through the air.
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