We met after so long, and the strangeness hit the moment he walked into camp – that quiet, heavy awkwardness that settles between people who used to be close but no longer know how to stand near each other. He sat near the height-measurement area, so I stayed there too, pretending I had work to do, just so I'd have an excuse to talk to him so that I could get rid of the tension. I kept hoping that if I stood there long enough, the awkwardness would melt on its own.
He looked up suddenly and then randomly asked me if I'd eaten. I said, "Yes, a little," not really understanding why he was asking. Then he told me he was ordering breakfast and that we could eat together. I laughed it off, and politely refused. He asked me if I was sure and offered again, but I refused yet again and got back to work.
A few minutes later, a girl from his team came over to me and said, "Sir is calling you." She even knew my name, which startled me. When I went over, he handed me a stack of certificates to check. I was pretty concious of him, so I kept on fumbling with them, and the order kept scattering.
He told me was going to grab breakfast but if I wanted something, I could join him… or if i liked, he could bring it for me. I didn't know how to explain the boundaries I was trying to keep, so I just politely declined again.
While I sat there wrestling with the messy pile of certificates, he was just… watching me. Not in a weird way, but in that quiet way he observes things. And because the silence between us kept growing heavier, I asked about his PhD.
"September," he said.
And I don't know why, but hearing a month made everything feel more final.
Then, without thinking too much, I asked about his dream, the school he always talked about wanting to build. He said he'd still do it, but probably for Mexican kids this time. He said it casually, but with that same certainty he always carried about the things that mattered to him.
And that's when he told me he was leaving for good.
Not "in September."
Not "after some time."
Just… leaving.
And even though I already knew it intellectually, this was the first time my heart actually registered it. Something inside me sank. Keeping my distance had felt like strength; suddenly it felt like loss.
Later, when work slowed down and I wanted to ease the tension, I drifted back toward him. We talked a little about the library, about why I didn't come anymore. He told me I should dedicate a whole day just for free dental checkups. I joked that he'd have to send me dollars if he wanted that. He laughed a little, then got on his phone, and the conversation ended the same way so many of ours do now, with silence that neither of us knew how to fix.
~
The camp went on. We took pictures with the kids, and he specifically called me over, saying it didn't matter who else came, just having me and my co-organizer was enough. That made things feel a little normal again. I played with the kids for a while, pushed the kids on swings, and tried to catch my breath from all the emotional noise in my head.
He'd arranged snack and tea for us, and after everyone else left, we talked a bit more. He asked if I could drop him home I said yes automatically, maybe out of habit, maybe out of some old softness I still hadn't unlearned.
As we were driving, he asked if I would like to meet a new friend of his that he'd made. He said she was amazing and if she were younger, he'd marry her. That did make me a little jealous, but we were talking after so long and he was opening up to me again, so I decided to give it a chance and agreed.
We ended up going to a café near the NGO. He'd called his friend there, and as we were waiting for her, he browsed through books while i just followed him. He'd pick up an interesting one, show it to me, and explain why he liked it. In the elevator he handed me a heavy book on firearms and asked me to hold it. Our hands brushed lightly. I felt ridiculously embarrassed.
After that, we went to a restaurant, but I barely ate because I kept imagining my family finding out and misunderstanding everything. But i still sat and talked to him. We talked for a really long time.
After that, we had food at a fancy restaurant, and since none of us wanted to go home, we walked a few rounds in a nearby park afterwards. The place was nearly empty since it was late, but the weather was good and it was dark, so I liked it. I felt that i could be msyelf without having to worry about anyone seeing or judging me.
He got a call from his home, I got a call from mine, and so I drove him home. Then I went back to mine, changed, and went out with my family as if this had not been one of those life changing days for me.