CHAPTER 19
Clarity… A mind free from all imperfections. How possible is it for one to even achieve such a thing as a flawless mind?
He dwelled on the thought of everything Rikiyo had told him, his feet tapping repeatedly on the ground and his hand repeatedly ruffling the side of his hair as he gnashed his teeth while he tried to make sense of it.
One needed clarity to be able to envision a path to victory in a battle. But what did it mean to envision? And that cloud of doubt she mentioned, it had to be something unique to him: the ability to overcome his weaknesses no matter the situation.
And those weaknesses—though unique to him—he had no inkling of what they were. What trait unique to him could be best used against him?
'Damn it, I feel like I'm going crazy just thinking about all this.'
Still gritting his teeth, he slowly lowered his hand from his hair and looked forward toward the forest that lay ahead. There was a path neatly cut by the side, with gargantuan trees standing like sentinels on either side.
'Clarity, clarity. How do you envision a clear mind? Come on, think, Megumi!'
He stopped abruptly as he bent down and placed his hand on the field of grass below him. Perhaps he would finally gain clarity at some point, since he didn't even know what he had to go by here.
Rikiyo had only given vague tips to go by—not that she hadn't been just as vague during the first stage of his training—and unlike his innate energy, he had no idea what a mind free of all burdens was supposed to feel like.
However, one thing he knew was that Rikiyo always had a reason for her actions. From bringing him to the snow peak to handing him the obsidian charm. If she had brought him to the forest at this stage in training, then it was definitely because the wonders of nature that lay around him would aid him.
Feeling the field of grass he stood on, watching the leaves of the enormous trees whistle and sway in tandem, he was trying to figure out how all this was supposedly going to help him attain clarity.
For many hours, he wandered the forest endlessly, making stops to sit with his legs crossed and meditate. He tried to keep his mind free from any thoughts as he focused.
Those hours of calm were the worst of his life. The feeling of having his mind free from any thoughts was perilous, making him feel as if he were drowning in darkness.
He had tried again a few more times, but ultimately he was still left with the same feeling of dread. He felt like he was in a boundless void of nothingness, and the only way he could escape was by freeing his mind.
And after four long hours, he was back at his starting point for the third time without a single ounce of progress having been made.
He yawned as he sat on the field, staring emptily ahead. His face looked despondent; the brimming enthusiasm that he had possessed earlier, before he began his quest for clarity, was now extinguished.
He twisted himself and looked behind, heaving a sigh.
"I guess Rikiyo got tired of watching me wander around."
For a few more minutes, he sat in silence, his gaze repeatedly transitioning between the gargantuan trees that stood along the clear path in the distance and the field of grass on which he sat.
Once again, he crossed his legs and closed his eyes, freeing his mind of every cogitation. The vain, empty feeling washed over him once more, and once again, he was immediately pulled out of his trance.
… But it wasn't because he let his mind roam free with thoughts once more. A hand had been gently placed on his shoulder, and in his ears, the whispers of a familiar female voice lingered.
"Let those thoughts flood that clouded mind of yours any longer, and you'll only end up breaking what's left in that skull of yours, brother."
He could feel her breath against his neck, causing him to fidget. Her warm breath engulfed his ear, leaving the inside of his ear slightly burning.
"Clarity only works when there's something to focus on. I expected you to figure that out, but you ended up viewing the forest as the opposite of what I had intended. Try again, brother, and keep your eyes open this time."
Rikiyo left soon after that, as stealthy as she had appeared, leaving him in deep thought as to what she meant by her words once more.
Clarity could only work with focus… something to focus on. He had to keep his mind open, focused on something, just enough that he wouldn't be drowned in the vain emptiness of his mind.
*********
Once again, Megumi was left alone in the graceful midst of nature. His palms were gently placed together, and his legs were crossed as he sat down on the field of grass.
He now had a faint grasp of clarity, and all he had to do was grant himself the slightest inkling of what it was supposed to feel like. He kept his eyes peeled, staring intently at the swaying leaves of the gargantuan trees.
His eyes had been kept open for so long that they were starting to dry up, but he wasn't going to let a bit of pain get in his way.
Nothing had happened for the long minutes he spent staring at the swaying leaves of the massive trees, but then somewhere along the line, he felt as if he had been drawn into a subtle trance.
It sounded like the only noise that remained around him was the discord of the rustling leaves. For a brief moment, he felt nothing but the graceful wind.
Subconsciously, he began assimilating every ounce of information about the swaying leaves that lay before him, from the length and width of the leaves to the strength of the wind based on how quickly the leaves swayed.
In the next few minutes, he had already gauged every inch of the leaves, and then his gaze trailed toward the trees, and he did the same.
Then, he turned down his face and stared downwards at his legs. He focused on himself, trying to get a feel for his body as perfectly as he could, but his mind quickly gave in.
He was left gasping as he vigorously rubbed his eyes. They were dry and felt itchy, and his breath was huffed.
However, on Megumi's face was a wide grin. His lips curved all the way up to his ears…
He had finally gotten that sensation he was searching for the entire time… Clarity… It was only a matter of time before he would fully grasp the essence of clarity…