Rachel pulled away from John, slid off his bed and began to yank on her clothes in a hasty manner. "No, don't touch me please, I..I have to go." She zipped up her jeans.
"Rachel, look at me." His voice was so soft as he clasped her chin.
Rachel immediately closed her eyes. "I'm sorry, but this has to end. We had our fun and it's over now. Thanks for the good time." She felt like an utter coward. She never had to break things off with her past entanglements in such a manner. How had this man managed to get under her skin like this? And so fast?
John signed, wrapping his arm around her waist. "If you're going to reject me, can you at least look me in the eyes while you do it?
Rachel shook her head, her lips trembling. Gods, why was she so wimpy right now? "I can't. I may start crying again."
He pressed a kiss to her lips. "Then maybe that means you don't actually want things to end."
"It has to end, John. I told you I don't do relationships. So...it's, we're done now. I've never been exclusive for so long. It's not in my nature. I have to get back to my normal routine and job. I'm a hooker, remember?"
John pressed kisses all over her face. "You're really not going to open your eyes?"
Rachel's breath caught in her throat. "I'm sorry, but I have to be a coward right now." She pulled out of his embrace and walked past him, finally opening her eyes and heading out of the bedroom. Retrieving her purse from his kitchen counter, Rachel tried her best to ignore his presence behind her as she headed to his front door.
John immediately reached out and grabbed her wrist, spinning her around to face him.
When Rachel saw his teary eyes and pained expression, she felt like an utter bitch. Her heart clenched with guilt. He was standing in front of her in all his naked glory, yet managed to look like a puppy who'd been kicked.
Tears prickled in her eyes.
Rachel turned her face away once more when he suddenly pulled her into a crushing embrace. His entire body shook with the force of his sobs. Her hands instinctively went to his hair, soothing him with gentle rubs. Her vision grew bleary.
"Please, don't go. These last three weeks have been amazing. I've been so happy. The connection we have is...I don't want it to end. Are you really going to leave just like this?" John's voice was a broken sob against her shoulder. He sounded like a little boy holding onto his mother.
Rachel bit her lip, her heart waging war inside her. She did not want to hurt him. She wanted to break up, but not like this. Not in a way that would reduce him to such a state.
She gently pushed him away, holding him by his shoulders at arms length. He was still crying. He wiped his tears away with his fists. The sight was so pitiful. He really looked like a child about to get dropped off at an orphanage.
"John...how old are you?" Rachel asked, touching his cheek.
He lifted his gaze, pinning her to the spot with his mesmerizing brown eyes. Rachel felt her body grow hot in a way that had nothing to do with simple sexual desire.
"I'm 22."
Her brows furrowed. "At 22, shouldn't you have more emotional resilience when dealing with a break up? Your previous relationships...did you get dumped or did you do the dumping?" She cupped his face.
"I did the dumping. But I was nice about it. I never broke their hearts." He reached out to rub her lip. "Neither of them truly cared for me though. They just wanted sex and...after a while I just felt used."
Rachel offered him a hard smile. "I also only offered sex. And I stated it right at the beginning. Why did you say yes if you knew that's not what you wanted?"
John's eyes grew sad. "I don't know. I guess I was just lonely. And maybe a bit desperate. I was an idiot."
Rachel felt another tug at her heart. "You're a man looking for love, aren't you?"
John pulled her closer and buried his face in her hair. He did not say anything.
"But the first time we met, you looked and acted like a playboy. And then you railed me like beast in the supply closet. Then you came to my workplace to fuck me again." Rachel was curious about the disconnection. "What was that about? If you're truly not interested in something casual and want love then why did you do that with a complete stranger?"
John held her tighter. "You turned me on like crazy and I couldn't help myself." His hands slid down to grab her ass. "Once I got a taste of you I couldn't stop. I've never done that before and I couldn't believe it myself. I wanted you so much, I neglected to even use a condom."
A brief moment of silence.
"Yes, well, I was also turned on like crazy. We clearly have amazing sexual chemistry. It's almost like our bodies are wired for each other. I've never orgasmed like that before. I thought I understood sex, but you introduced me to new territory."
"It's not just sex, Rachel. Our physical compatibility is a clear sign we can be more. We've been going on dates and we get along so well. We can be more. Can you...can you not try for more? Please?" He pulled back and looked at her. "Give me two months and if you're not in love with me by then we can breakup. I won't try to stop you from leaving."
The last part was a lie. John was already in love with her and never wanted her to leave. But he was worried that if he confessed his feelings she might just run away. He knew he had pace himself.
Plus, she was new to relationships.
She was a woman who sold her body to make a living. This sudden change would be difficult for her. No matter how good the sex was if monogamy was not in her nature, then how strong of a hold did he even have on her? Three weeks and she was ready to call it quits.
But if she fell in love with him, then surely she would see monogamy as a privilege rather than a restriction.
Rachel looked at him for a long while. Although, her heart was still stirring with unease the sight of him crying and begging her to stay had swayed her in a way she did not think possible.
She nodded. "Okay, I'll do it. Two months." Anyone could do anything for two months.
John smiled like a kid opening his birthday present and kissed her passionately. Rachel's knees immediately grew weak.