It was only then that I realized—
why did I bring flowers?
Did I want her to hate me?
"Raitha… I was thinking…"
My voice trembled, betraying me before I could stop it.
"Would you like to go on a— a date with me?"
I braced myself. For the polite smile. The awkward pause. The gentle rejection that would sink into my bones and stay there forever.
How could someone like me even dare?
Financially unstable.
Not particularly intelligent.
No remarkable skills.
A background character in my own life.
And her?
She was beautiful. Not loudly so—quietly, devastatingly.
A small mole on her neck, as if the universe itself had signed her as a masterpiece.
Smart. Kind. Whole in ways I had never been.
We stood just outside the convenience store where I worked—
where we worked.
Snow drifted down lazily, as if the world had decided to soften itself for this moment.
We faced each other, close enough to share breath, far enough for her to look away.
"You don't hav—"
I rushed my words, panicking.
"You don't have to answer. Really. I'd be fine without one. You don't need to worry about rejecting me."
Coward.
I was trying to spare myself before she could break me.
But she stopped me.
"Why not?" she said.
Her voice was calm. Certain.
"Tomorrow sounds good. It's our day off anyway."
…She said yes?
"Oh— of course!"
The words flew out before my fear could drag them back.
I nodded too quickly, smiled too hard, terrified this fragile miracle might shatter if I hesitated.
She tilted her head, amused.
"But remember—no flowers, okay?"
She wrinkled her nose.
"I hate flowers."
That night, I didn't sleep.
I lay awake, staring at the ceiling, replaying her voice, her smile, her yes.
My heart refused rest.
I was exhausted the next morning—but there was no universe where I postponed this.
This wasn't a date.
This was my only chance.
I washed up, brushed my teeth twice, and wore my one and only decent outfit.
It didn't matter how ordinary it was.
Today, it was priceless.
As I walked down the road, I checked my hair more times than I could count.
I needed to be perfect.
I needed to be enough.
Then I saw her.
She stood on the other side of the road, snow settling gently in her hair.
Between us: a zebra crossing, and a red light.
A thin, cruel line holding us apart.
She saw me too.
I waved.
She waved back.
And then—the light turned green.
She moved suddenly, breaking into a run, her breath fogging the air.
Even from a glance, I could tell—
she was excited.
To meet me?
Impossible, I told myself.
"Shy—"
I tried to say my own name.
And then—
A flash of white.
A car. Pure, blinding white.
One of those expensive sports cars that don't belong in ordinary lives like ours.
In less than a second—
Her body broke.
Flesh scattered across the road like something unreal.
Blood sprayed warm against my face.
Her smile—
gone.
She was dead.
She's… dead?
The world didn't scream.
It didn't stop.
It simply continued, as if nothing sacred had been shattered.
"Hate me, Raitha," I whispered later, standing before her grave.
"Please… hate me."
I dropped the flowers onto the soil.
She said she hated flowers.
But I brought them anyway.
I was never planning not to.
Why wouldn't you just reject me?
---
( PoV her )
I hated flowers.
Not because they were ugly—no.
Because they died the moment you plucked them.
Smiling corpses wrapped in pretty paper.
That's why I laughed when I saw him holding them, standing there like he'd committed a crime against common sense.
Why did you bring flowers?
Did you want me to dislike you that badly?
"Raitha… I was thinking…"
He looked so nervous it almost hurt to watch. His hands trembled, eyes refusing to meet mine for more than a heartbeat.
"Would you like to go on a— a date with me?"
Ah.
So that's what this was.
I waited for him to breathe. He didn't.
Instead, he rushed ahead, panicking.
"You don't have to answer. Really. You don't need to worry about rejecting me."
He thought I was going to say no.
It was strange—how someone could think so little of themselves while still daring to hope.
Stranger still… how much I admired that.
I liked him.
Not loudly. Quietly. Carefully.
The kind of liking you don't realize until it's already made a home in your chest.
"Why not?" I said.
His eyes widened, like I'd just rewritten reality.
"Tomorrow sounds good. It's our day off too."
For a second, he looked unreal—like someone had unplugged him from his own body.
"Oh— of course!"
He smiled so fast I almost laughed.
"But," I added, pointing at the flowers,
"no flowers, okay? I hate flowers."
He nodded earnestly, like this was the most important promise he'd ever make.
That night, I couldn't sleep either.
I stared at the ceiling, wondering if this was how it started.
Not love.
Just… possibility.
The next morning, the cold bit harder than usual.
Snow drifted down, gentle and stupidly romantic.
I saw him across the road.
He looked… cute.
Nervous. Trying too hard.
Perfect in the way broken things often are.
Between us stood a red light.
A zebra crossing.
A thin pause before something new.
He waved.
I waved back.
The light turned green.
I ran.
Not because I was late.
Because I was excited.
Because for once, I wanted to arrive.
"Shy—"
That's when everything turned white.
A sound like thunder ripping metal apart.
Pain didn't come first—
confusion did.
I remember thinking, Oh.
So this is how it ends.
I didn't feel my body anymore.
I didn't feel the cold.
I only saw his face—
frozen, horrified, breaking.
If I could speak, I would've told him this:
Don't blame yourself.
Don't bring flowers to my grave.
And please—
don't hate yourself for loving me.
The snow kept falling.
And the world went on.
Without me.
---
Written by { dhoben }
Published by { noobBooks studio }
Published on { webnovel TMR }
Editor { raitha, leaf on books studio }
Translation { nooblate eng studio & sub studio }