"May I ask another question?" Having finished his cup, Xin stared at its bottom.
"Of course, my disciple. I know I raised quite a stir, it would only be fair to take responsibility."
"I'm worried I'm overstepping the boundaries of this discussion, and since I'm only a rank one master…"
"Oh, I'd be a terrible host if I made you feel unimportant." Interrupted the Chimera. "You are within your rights to implore deeper, just as I am allowed to avoid indulging. Please go on."
Oh, so you're entitled to the privacy of your mind, yet mine was likely controlled and searched. Does he know about the Fung Morin now?
"What you said about all these identities being spooks, as much as I agree with this logic, I'm also worried about its implications."
"Oh, please enlighten me."
"A 'man' or a 'woman' identities are spooks indeed, yet they are hosted in male and female bodies. And, that I can't prove, but inherent male and female minds. One might argue that the mind is completely malleable, but I disagree. We're born with certain traits, and certain karma. You can't just redefine your identity on a whim by declaring it a spook. Sounds like wishful thinking."
"Hm, and what about this worries you? I see no contradictions between what you and I concocted here."
"Well, how do you know you're truly you? How do you know you've moved on past your previous identity? How do you know that your 'I' that observes your 'Me' is not just another layer of delusion?"
"Oh, I see." The woman arched her sharp brows and smiled. "My answer to this question, when I was your age, was to redefine the problem completely. A rigid mind looks to discover their 'true' self, establish a firm identity. They try to separate the 'authentic' and 'implanted' self, divide their work and home selves, for example, yet end up cutting themselves into even more spooks. Most of these people live quite pathetic, miserable lives, in my experience."
Xin rubbed his chin, deep in thought. He had long contemplated this issue, and was intrigued by the answer the Sect Leader would provide. If they did, that is.
"I agree, I think I understand this lesson well." Xin said. "The plurality of self is its single greatest component, yet this isn't why I'm worried. May I explain?"
"Of course." The Sect Leader replied calmly, then looked to the side.
Wait, did I do something wrong? Are they upset or annoyed?
"I'm worried about this method of thinking. Using such sharp logic to break down the sexes or the concept of Self and all that it entails is impressive, but can't such logic be used to go further than that?"
Master, be careful.
"Of course it can. Have you got anything specific in mind? Yet I must warn that you haven't seen the full extent of my worldview just yet."
"I'd never imply something so disrespectful, my Master." Xin nodded. "But what about Good and Bad? Morals, duty, ethics, call it whatever. Are they also just spooks? Within the constraints of this approach, of course."
"Why not?" The Sect Leader shrugged, then stared at Xin.
Such a powerful person would never admit to having such a non-righteous philosophy, especially not to their subordinate three ranks lover. Must stay alert, this is another test.
"Well, it would make no sense. If we take this logic even further, to its logical conclusion, then we get Nothing. And if you've broken down every concept, every part of your Self and all of your desires, or even the Dao itself, why do Anything? Inertia? I doubt that's the answer."
"A good question." The young woman smiled innocently. "If none of these things we discussed hold true meaning, why would anyone with an understanding of this cultivate, partake in politics and develop their methods? Why would such a person start a sect, set up the biggest chain of refinement and artefact laboratories in the North and collect five different bodies to embody, is this what you're asking?" She asked in a smooth voice.
I'm done. I was too blunt and direct, I played with fire and got burnt. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. At least I got to feel smart for a few minutes.
Master, do not despair! Your next words might still salvage this.
Xin bowed his head lightly, concealing his face behind the edge of his cup. His voice came out measured, softer now:
"Of course not. I would never dare question your path, Sect Leader. I only asked because I worry that if I follow your teachings without understanding their spine, I'll end up a failed parody instead of a proper disciple."
A painful silence ensued.
"Alright, then." The woman shrugged. "I recommend you meander less in your thoughts, and learn to create structures. They're useful, those spooks. I envision a certain path for you, yet it's yours to walk. I'll offer some hints, if I may."
"Of course, Sect Leader." Xin felt like saying "No" as a lighthearted joke, but this one would get himself killed, for sure.
"Remember what you've seen in that forest. Do not be constrained by imagined contradictions. Don't serve the words, make them serve you. And remember, I picked every word of this advice carefully. Good luck, Master Xin." She clapped her fingers.
Slumber dao shard.
***
Xin stood in the corridor leading to the sect's roof section.
How did I get here again? Baihu, do you remember anything?
Only the Sect Leader's farewell words, Master.
Same. Another mind trick, such is the power of rank fours. Let's just hope they don't know about the Fung Morin now, because if they do, there's nothing I could do to ensure Erdeni's safety.
What should I do now? Xin stared at his feet, head heavy, wondering. The weight of the conversation with the Sect Leader was on his shoulders now, on top of every other thing still lingering.
It felt like his next action would be his reply to the Chimera Daoist.
***
Twenty minutes later.
"Xin!" Wu Xiaoyun ran up to him and hugged firmly.
"Sister Xiaoyun!" Xin patted her on the back in a restrained manner, but smiled sincerely. "Green hair again, what's that symbolise?"
"Ah, that?" She flicked her veridian bangs. "The tone is a bit different, can't you see?"
"You know I'm a retard about these things. You look decent, don't worry. Is that…" He pointed at her robe's collar.
"Of course it is! Decent, he says. Alright." She giggled nervously. "Yes, I'm rank one now. Congratulate me." She bowed playfully.
"What's the breakthrough quality?" Xin asked, then realised he was being crass. "Oh, congratulations. Of course. Sorry."
"A heavenly qi inspiration. Barely saved my human qi from breaking down, would be quite embarrassing. Oh…" She stopped and looked at Xin's belly.
"Don't worry, I know you meant no malice. Why are you still in the disciple quarters if you broke through?"
"Oh, you haven't heard? They're expanding the living quarters. Renovations and all that, I'll have to wait a week more. Not a big deal."
"Xiaoyun, can I take you out for dinner? I want to thank you for everything." He pointed towards the corridor leading to the canteen.
"Xin, I told you a hundred times it's me who owes you! Please stop insisting otherwise…"
"Hush." He put a hand on her shoulder. "Follow me."
Minutes later, they took up a seat on the balcony of the dining hall, exclusive for masters. It wasn't too crowded here, as most were done eating by now. Xin stared at the brass bas-reliefs of five elemental creatures the Sect Leader could turn into.
The Fenghuan Bird of the fire element, the Great Earth Elemental of the earth element…
"You look bigger." Wu Xiaoyun squeezed Xin's bicep with a smile, then playfully wrapped her noodles on the chopstick. "But you also look tired."
"Ah, me?" Xin came back to the real world. "Tired is an understatement. But it bore fruit. Remember the Moss Bush demoness? Killed the hag."
Wu Xiaoyun stopped eating, astonished.
"Wait, HER? You mean you avenged master Taowei?"
"Not why I did this, but you could say so. She's done. One slash of my claws, from behind, caught her off-guard."
"But… how?" Wu Xiaoyun stared in confusion. She didn't get to see much of Xin's rank one self before he left to cultivate.
Xin calmly shared his story in broad strokes. As he spoke, Wu Xiaoyun's face, filled with admiration as usual, went more grim and confused with every line, and by the end of his little speech, he felt like the girl feared him.
Son, the more you cultivate, the bigger the gap between you and those you left behind. One day you might wake up and realise you're an alien to those you loved.
"I knew I was right about you, Xin." The girl sighed and took a sip of plum liquor. "So many laughed when I told them you're our sect's biggest prodigy."
Not this shit again.
"Second biggest, at best. Rui Ming exists."
"Xin, he's an innate talent, he doesn't have your ability to break things down. In fact, I know him longer than you, and I think his resurgence was somehow triggered by you…"
"You think so? Hm, I'll have to meditate on this. Enough about me, though. How's your cultivation going?"
Wu Xiaoyun recoiled slightly. She hoped for a more personal conversation, yet Xin's manner of care was that of a strict teacher. Just like her father's.
"I…'ve been working on the vinemen cultivation method, figured I'd do best using minions. I'm no fighter, no matter how much I'd train, and my combat intelligence is no match to yours or Ming's."
"This is correct, you made a smart choice." Xin said with a blank face, a subtle smirk on the corner of his lips.
"Fuck you." Wu Xiaoyun rolled her eyes and smiled. "I've been helping out at sect gardens and studying formation theory. I'll never make it as a tournament fighter or combat master, but I could develop a resource spot and help in trade, maybe run a sweatshop in time. I'm glad our sect doesn't discriminate against us merchants… as much."
"Sounds like you're a good ally for the future, then?" Xin shot her a cheeky glance. "If that's the case, would you accept my humble investment?"
"Oh!" Wu Xiaoyun almost jumped up. He's not about to give me something, that rascal? After I specifically told him not to? "Don't you dare…"
"Hehehe." Xin pulled out his bag of holding and took out the rhizomes of the hag's vinemen. Wu Xiaoyun nervously looked around. "Don't worry, these aren't corrupted by blood qi. Just normal vinemen, quite a rare breed. Enough to start your own garden."
"Xin, come on…" Wu Xiaoyun looked away, embarrassed. "Those are Eastern Flytrap Shamblers, they're quite rare. There's almost a dozen here!"
"Yes, and?" He grabbed her arm and pushed a bag of rhizomes into it. "I only killed the hag because of your inhe…" He quickly interrupted himself. "... your intel, I mean. It's only fair you're compensated. Take it. Or I'll be upset." He made a scowled face, resembling a sad tiger cub.
Wu Xiaoyun melted and covered her face with her hand, while another quickly pocketed the bag.
"You spoil me, Xin… You have my eternal gratitude, I'll put these to good use. To think I'll be using a weapon that was used to ambush our squad…"
"It was used for many much worse atrocities. It doesn't matter. You aren't her. There is a chance you'll be able to plant these in the Yellow Pine forest after the tournament. Heard the rumours?"
"That we're about to launch a colonising expedition there? Of course, everyone is buzzing. Heard the Autumn Leaf sect is already protesting in the capital."
"Ha, those losers can cry themselves to sleep. Fuck them." They're Mom's sect, after all. "This expedition sounds like a great opportunity, don't you think?"
"Right! The common sense thing to do would be to stockpile some water path goods in advance. Those will be in high demand if we're to cultivate that whole forest."
How industrious.
"I agree, but it's not so black and white. The demand for supplementary wood path materials needed to develop the forest will also surge, if only I could nail down what these are… Too bad I'm so busy with tournament prep, this whole situation is just free money! And too bad our sect holds all the intel, and we're left with crumbs." Xin stared at the bottom of his cup.
"Xin, I could do my research. Try to pull some strings, get some openings we could exploit. I hope I am not pushing your boundaries, but do you even have any cash to invest?"
If you knew you'd choke on your noodles.
"Oh, I've got enough savings, don't worry. More than you think is feasible for someone like me to have. But I think there's a better investment to make."
"That being?"
"Me."