"Onee-sama, over here!" said Karin, lifting her tricolour dango skewer to Sakura's lips and presenting her with the pink-coloured one. "Say, aah~!"
Sighing, Sakura closed her eyes and obediently opened her mouth. "Aah…"
As a skilled stalker and sensor, Karin knew all of Sakura's favourite spots in the Hidden Leaf Village. She reasoned that the easiest way into a woman's heart was through her stomach, and so she had started their date at the traditional sweets shop in the shopping district for a light snack.
Karin watched with rapt attention as Sakura put a hand to her cheek as she chewed the sugary treat she'd just been handfed. She was quite visibly squeeing with delight as she wriggled from side to side.
Onee-sama really did have the cutest reactions!
Like just the other day, when they'd been having ramen on New Year's Eve with the other idiots. Onee‑sama was always beautiful, even when she was in the midst of the most mundane actions—say, when she leaned over her bowl, lifting a hand to part her long pink hair, thus keeping the ends from dipping into the broth as she ate… and then she would lean just a bit too far, scald her breasts on the hot bowl, and let out the cutest little yelp!
This was the sort of thing only she— Uzumaki Karin, onee‑sama's greatest meatrider— was capable of noticing! She alone was worthy of worshipping the ground onee‑sama walked on! Not that playboy Sasuke, who, though admittedly very handsome, had spurned onee‑sama's affections time and again; and certainly not that fool of a relative, Naruto, who would trade onee‑sama for her weight in ramen any day of the week!
"Thanks for the treat!" Sakura said, dabbing a handkerchief to her lips to wipe off the powdered sugar and syrupy glaze that the dango had been dipped in. "Ah, that hits the spot."
Karin made a mental note that onee‑sama had eaten more than five times her usual share of dango, despite her constant worries about an expanding waistline. Still, it seemed she'd lost a bit of her baby fat in prison; excluding the chest area, her body now shook a good five percent less than before.
Sakura stood and bent forwards slightly, the sunlight catching on something nestled between her breasts, sending off a faint green glint. Her enormous chest often proved a nuisance at the dinner table, keeping her from leaning too close to her plate; food had a habit of tumbling into her cavernous cleavage if she wasn't careful or ate too quickly, forcing her to brush herself off once she'd finished.
"That necklace…" Karin said, her eyes drawn to the turquoise stone resting between Sakura's bulbous breasts. "I've never seen it before…"
The necklace was usually buried deep out of sight in Sakura's cleavage, seldom granted a chance to breathe fresh air.
"Oh, this?" Sakura lifted it by its string with her little finger, letting the gem catch the light. "It's the First Hokage's necklace, Lady Tsunade gave it to me. There's quite a story behind it; wanna hear?"
Karin nodded enthusiastically. A super-secret-rare grade secret she didn't know about her onee-sama? Now this, she had to hear!
"The story goes like this," Sakura began, an enigmatic smile on her face. "After the First Hokage died of natural causes, his son inherited everything the Senju clan hadn't already donated to the village… including a certain necklace."
Karin held her breath in anticipation. So far, onee-sama hadn't appeared yet in the story, but it was only a matter of time!
"It's said that overnight, the Hokage's son became a shadow of his former self, losing everything that had once won him the admiration of his peers," Sakura continued. "He turned into a coward and a scoundrel, fleeing the village with his wife and much of their family fortune. No one knows exactly what became of him, only that one day he was found dead in an alley— and that's how the necklace founds its way into Lady Tsunade's hands."
"I've read up a bit on sensei's family," Karin piped up. "I really don't think the necklace had anything to do with that, onee-sama."
It had always been a bit of a sore point for the Senju clan that none of the First Hokage's descendants had ever managed to awaken his vaunted Wood Style Kekkei Genkai, which had singlehandedly raised the Hidden Leaf from the ground. Leaf historians still debated what had driven Hashirama's son to flee the village, though most agreed it was the unbearable weight of responsibility that finally broke him. It was not easy having the God of Shinobi's legacy to live up to…
"My version with the necklace's curse is far more interesting, though," said Sakura in a huff. "The story's a lot more boring if the prodigal son only left over gambling debts or out of protest at the Second Hokage's treatment of the Uchiha clan— in any case, you'll never guess what happened to Lady Tsunade when she got the necklace."
Karin shook her head.
"Her boobs grew overnight!" said Sakura excitedly. "Did you know Lady Tsunade used to be completely flat when she was a teenager?"
Karin raised an eyebrow. "So, the curse turns sensei's father into a coward… and sensei into a cow? How's that work?"
Sakura's theory was that the necklace had been trying to kill Lady Tsunade by making her breasts grow to such a degree than they became liabilities during the Second Shinobi World War, but that she had been simply too strong to die.
"Lady Tsunade then tried to pass the necklace on to her little brother, but he died almost at once," Sakura went on. "The same thing happened to her lover at the time, Katō Dan, not long afterwards… and that's when she finally realised it was cursed, so from then on she refused to let anyone else touch it."
Karin stared pointedly at said necklace hanging from Sakura's finger. "Did you do something to offend Lady Tsunade, onee-sama?"
"Oh, I won it off her in a bet," Sakura explained. "I didn't even want it, but she handed it to me anyway, and told me to pass it on to Naruto when I thought he was ready to become Hokage."
"Soo… sensei hates Naruto too, eh?"
Karin made a face; she didn't like where this story was heading. Here they were, two girls enjoying a bit of time alone together, and yet the conversation had somehow drifted to the topic of boys.
How terribly cliché! Bechdel test, failure, you poor excuse for a feminist! Boooo!
"You don't seriously think that idiot relative of mine could actually become Hokage, do you, onee‑sama?" Karin said, sticking out her tongue in disgust. "If it were me, I'd say onee-sama is far better suited to be the second female Hokage in history!"
"Naruto, the second female Hokage? It's not impossible…" Sakura chuckled evilly. "Hehe, if I could just master that jutsu…"
Sakura gazed absently at the great stone faces carved into Hokage Rock in the distance. She knew there was no guarantee Naruto would ever become Hokage, female or not, as he had in the history she remembered… yet still she believed in him. After all, he had been the only one to stand against two of the Sannin and fight for her that day. He was one of the main reasons she had forgiven the village and come back home… because he represented a future worth fighting for.
"You'd be surprised," Sakura said softly. "It's difficult to see at first, but when you do… there's something about Naruto, a strange quality that makes it so you can't help but want to believe in him..."
Nearby, behind their makeshift hiding place, a tarpaulin crudely painted to resemble the side of a building, Konohamaru, Udon and Moegi exchanged conspiratorial nods. They had to warn Naruto‑nii‑chan at once: Sakura was, like, totally hot for him! She was even blushing!