Chapter 355: The Fake Strategist: Rin Tohsaka; The True Strategist: Caren
When Gilgamesh burst out of the ground aboard Vimana and soared into the night sky, everyone present knew one thing:
They were screwed.
This wasn't just a matter of "can we beat him?"
Even if they could, the collateral damage would be catastrophic.
Everyone had already experienced his firepower inside the Mirror World.
Letting that kind of artillery run loose in a populated area meant even fighting back would be constrained.
Card Servants didn't follow the magus code of secrecy.
If this one really lost his mind, he could plow through the entirety of Fuyuki City without breaking a sweat.
"Even if we try to draw him away from the city… as long as he's in the air, we have no way to engage him."
Bazett sighed helplessly.
Flying enemies were the natural predator of close-combat fighters like her.
No matter how strong her fists were, there was no punching someone soaring hundreds of meters above the ground.
"I can fly! And Illya can too!"
Miyu hadn't given up yet. She crouched down, ready to leap skyward.
But the two older girls immediately shot her idea down.
"That's way too reckless! Even if you get close, you can't win!"
"And the moment you reach him, he'll start dropping Noble Phantasms! If even one falls into the city—"
That Servant had plenty of Noble Phantasms that detonated on impact.
He was basically an airborne powder keg.
If he used even one attack over the city, Fuyuki would turn into Beika Town from that certain anime where a death-magnet grade-schooler solves murders every episode.
"Then… we lure him to the coastline? Or try to shoot him down…?"
Miyu didn't want innocent casualties either, but her ideas weren't remotely actionable.
If they could do that, the enemy would already be a trading card in their hands instead of flying around in the sky.
"I can't… I'm out of ideas!!! In a situation like this, I've got nothing left!!!"
Having realized none of their plans could stop the enemy, Rin clutched her head in despair.
"Aiyaa~ aiyaa~ why do I hear a pig squealing?"
"…Huh?"
Someone had joined their conversation.
Rin ignored the insult and turned around—
—and the person standing there in a doctor's coat was the last person any of them expected.
"Two magi from prestigious families, plus an Enforcer… and you're all whining here like helpless children."
The woman sighed with open contempt.
"What a disgrace."
"Caren-sensei?!"
Illya gasped.
She never expected the school nurse to appear here of all places.
Bazett quickly explained the identity of this extremely suspicious woman.
She introduced herself at school as "Kazuki Caren," but that was just an alias.
Her real name was Caren Ortensia, an agent of the Holy Church—and the supervisor assigned to provide support for the Card Retrieval Mission.
As for why she worked as an elementary school nurse…
"Hmm, let's call it a hobby," Caren said innocently.
"Getting to admire injured little children up close is simply delightful. Because it's so funny, you know? Fufufufu~"
"…Yeah, this woman is insane."
Caren's explanation made it abundantly clear to everyone—both on-screen and off—that she was not a normal human being.
"This kind of twisted attitude reminds me of that priest Kirei Kotomine… Don't tell me this girl is a gender-swapped version of him?"
Aoko stared at the screen suspiciously.
On the Church's side, in the role of supervisor of the Holy Grail War, with a twisted personality and a love for poisonous sarcasm… this woman named Caren was basically the exact same character archetype as Kotomine Kirei.
"Don't tell me that in the previous FSN stories, Kirei's popularity was too low, so Shinji decided to swap him out for a cute girl to improve the flavor?" Aoko grumbled with displeasure.
Sure, Kotomine Kirei was a major villain—but he was a good one.
Just erasing a character who'd anchored four whole works, simply because his popularity wasn't high enough? That was way too cruel.
"I doubt it's like that," Alice said, shaking her head. Because she helped run one of Shinji's fandom communities, she was extremely sensitive to the popularity rankings of the major characters. "Kotomine Kirei is actually quite well-liked."
He wasn't top-tier popular—survey ten thousand viewers for their favorite Fate character, and he'd be lucky to break three hundred votes. After all, Fate's cast was overflowing with high-popularity characters.
Among the men, you had protagonist Emiya Shirou; the knight of beauty Diarmuid; Gilgamesh, the very embodiment of tall, rich, and handsome; and the ever-reliable comic-relief Lancer, Cu Chulainn.
As for the women—Arturia, Rin, Sakura, Rider… Their heights might vary, but their beauty was universally lethal.
Up against an army of gods and goddesses, how could a totally average middle-aged man like Kotomine Kirei possibly be the fans' number one?
But what made him irreplaceable was that he played his villain role so perfectly that viewers mentally fused him with "the priest of Fuyuki City."
It might not show normally, but the moment the studio announced they were recasting him, fans would absolutely revolt.
Doing something that self-destructive was not the kind of thing the shrewd Shinji would ever do.
"I think it's probably for the sake of age rating," Alice guessed. "A character like Kotomine Kirei—someone with an explicit antisocial personality—is too dangerous for younger viewers. If the supervisor this time is supposed to be on the 'good side,' replacing him with a cute girl is completely reasonable."
"I say it's simply because someone likes cute girls," Aoko said, folding her arms and speaking with undisguised malice.
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"Achoo!"
Maybe he sensed Aoko bad-mouthing him from a thousand miles away, but Shinji suddenly sneezed.
"Shinji, did you catch a cold? Honestly, you're not even thirty yet—how can you already be this frail? I truly pity the poor woman destined to become your widow in a few years."
"…Caren, if you can't say anything nice, maybe just stop talking."
Shinji let out a depressed groan. He was certain Caren was targeting him. Why else would she focus all her venom on him?
"You think I want to?" Caren snorted, shooting him a chilly glare. "I've gotten sick of insulting the same person over and over."
She exhaled sharply. "Of course I want to roast every single person here. Watching you mortals flail helplessly when I poke your sore spots is the greatest joy in my life."
"…"
Illya was right. This woman was genuinely insane.
"Then go insult Rin, Shirou, Arturia— anyone else!" Shinji protested through clenched teeth. "Why are you camping me?"
Leg crossed, Caren gave him a look that could grind stone into dust. "And ruin my well-behaved-lady persona? If I openly roast them, they won't listen to me anymore."
"…"
"So really, I should thank you," Caren said sweetly—too sweetly. "As long as you appear on camera with me, I can insult them through you without my persona collapsing. It's wonderful."
A faint blush touched her cheeks. She looked like she was genuinely enjoying herself.
"Shinji, if you ever need me again, please don't hesitate. I'll obey your every command—as long as you give me opportunities to insult people."
"…Fine. I'll call you if I need you."
This woman was truly terrifying.
Shinji silently reaffirmed his decision to stay far, far away from this lunatic, unless he wanted to be dragged straight into the pit with her.
He could already imagine the excuses Caren would give if things went south.
'Oh, I only used foul language because Shinji told me to~ I'm just a pure, innocent little flower, forever your devoted fangirl, onee-samas~'
Tch!
Shinji really wanted to borrow Thomas famous quote:
"Thomas had never seen such bullshit before."
But regardless of how awful Caren's personality was, her brain was top-tier. Otherwise she wouldn't be able to come up with such vicious tactics every time, nor land every poisonous remark right in someone's softest spot.
Shinji even kept this part intact in the TV adaptation. Twisted as she was, she was excellent as support.
Though she claimed she only stepped in because "watching lost little piglets embarrass themselves is too pitiful," the reasoning she provided was always perfectly clear.
On top of that, before the team even made a move, Caren set up clearing and hypnosis barriers covering a full kilometer radius—ensuring that no matter how flashy their battle got, no one would witness a thing.
After that, through much tortured thinking, Bazett finally deciphered the word Gilgamesh uttered right before collapsing the boundary field—
"Holy Grail."
"If that's the case, then the answer is obvious."
Staring at the black ark that had already vanished into the distance, Caren announced her conclusion to the group:
"His destination is naturally where the Holy Grail sleeps—the massive cavern beneath Mount Enzou."
At last, Illya and the others understood their target and their next course of action.
From lost and hopeless just minutes earlier to regaining direction now—thanks to Caren's clear logic and well-supplied information—the once-despairing protagonist group found themselves brimming with motivation again.
The audience might not yet know how strong this girl replacing Kirei truly was, but after just a few scenes, they understood at least one thing:
As support, Caren was absolutely reliable.
—Provided you could endure her rage-inducing level of toxic sarcasm.
A perfectly fine girl—if she didn't open her mouth.
That was, at this point, the viewers' most straightforward impression of Caren.
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