Chapter 350: Shinji Matou's Greatest Enemy Is Me, Caren!
Caren Ortensia—daughter of Kotomine Kirei, and the acting priest of the Fuyuki Church.
To be honest, when Shinji first started planning Magical Illya, he did consider including a role for Caren… but he absolutely never thought of having the real Caren herself play it.
The reason was simple: at the time, Caren wasn't even in Fuyuki. She'd been sent to the Church Headquarters for further training.
Compared to the other parallel worlds in the Type-Moon multiverse, this world's Caren was undeniably blessed.
Her mother had still passed away early due to illness, but because the Holy Grail War never happened, Caren was taken in by her grandfather and raised in Fuyuki from a young age.
Which meant Caren's childhood was… well, relatively normal.
Of course, being raised by old man Risei meant crossing paths—unavoidably—with the four so-called "main characters" of Fuyuki City.
And the reason Shinji calls them that is simply because he refuses to admit that Caren is his childhood friend.
In Shinji's eyes, Caren is basically the female version of Kotomine Kirei: quiet on the surface, but in reality a nonstop factory of venomous sarcasm.
If she opens her mouth, you can guarantee whatever comes out will be a perfectly honed, passive-aggressive jab.
And Caren is a classic two-face, practically on the level of Jim Hawkins with a double life.
In front of Shinji and Shirou—the boys—Caren is a full-power toxic-tongued menace.
If she doesn't crack your mental defenses within three sentences, she might as well hand in her Kotomine family badge.
"Shinji Matou, seducing little girls again? Don't think being underage will save you. Their parents will string you up from a tree, you know."
"Shinji Matou, your seaweed hair is disgusting. Can I use it for soup stock? That's probably its only use."
"Shinji Matou, did your sister trick you out of your allowance again? You know she's using that money to buy me candy right~? Jealous? Envious?"
…
That pretty much sums up 90% of Caren's "conversations" with Shinji—if one-sided mockery even counts as conversation.
Thankfully, Caren is a girl. If she'd been a boy…
Forget it. Fuyuki already has one mapo-loving priest. Absolutely no one wants a second.
Of course, Caren only dares jump-scare Shinji (and occasionally Shirou). Whenever she's in front of Rin or Sakura, she instantly switches to her Good Girl Mode, addressing them sweetly as her "admired senpai."
With a honeyed tongue and a deceptively fragile, angelic appearance, Rin and Sakura can't help but dote on this silver-haired girl.
But Shinji—who already knew the real Caren inside and out—was fully aware that this girl, who inherited her father's rotten personality, was simply toying with both Rin and his own sister.
He tried warning them. And the result? They scolded him instead.
"Shinji, just because Caren-chan isn't swayed by your playboy charms doesn't mean you should badmouth her. She's just more rational than the airheaded girls who fall for you."
"Onii-sama, don't be so petty. Why are you singling out Caren-chan? She just speaks a little directly, that's all."
"…"
Shinji swears on the lightbulb in his room: while Rin and Sakura were lecturing him, Caren—standing behind them—was silently mouthing a single sentence.
"See? These two idiots are so easy to control."
And so, if there's anyone in this world Shinji absolutely does not want to encounter, it is without question—
Caren Ortensia.
Fortunately for him, Caren left the country even earlier than he did.
Right after graduating elementary school, she was shipped off to the Church Headquarters by old man Risei to study theology and prepare to inherit the family role as Fuyuki's next priest.
The night Caren left Fuyuki City, Shinji celebrated by setting off firecrackers for nearly an hour straight. To him, it was the joyous farewell of a lifelong nemesis finally disappearing from his life.
Shinji had assumed Caren wouldn't return until after Kirei was old and retired. But…
Well, Murphy's Law is undefeated. Whatever you desperately hope won't happen will absolutely happen.
As the Fate franchise grew hotter and hotter across the globe, Kotomine Kirei's popularity rose with it. Even though the Kirei in the story was a full-fledged villain, his sharp personality, his delightfully wicked way of doing things, his obsessive love for mapo tofu, and his completely unapologetic villain antics earned him a fanbase rivaling that of the protagonists.
The Church originally felt a little miffed that Shinji had turned their Executor into an outright antagonist… but once they discovered how insanely popular "Mapo Priest" was, they immediately pretended nothing had happened.
After all, audiences are incredibly naïve. No one seriously believes actors are the same as their roles.
"Kotomine Kirei is an actual sociopath in real life?"
Come on. Who mixes fiction with reality?
To capitalize on Kirei's skyrocketing fame, the Church called him back to Headquarters and made him their official public ambassador.
And the one who replaced him as the manager of the Fuyuki Church was—of course—his daughter, Caren Ortensia.
"Can I call this the inertia of history? Damn you, Counter Force!"
That was the very first thing Shinji said upon seeing Caren again after so many years.
For someone who normally treated the Counter Force with great caution to start swearing at it outright… it showed just how badly Shinji hated this silver-haired menace.
"My, my, Shinji, you haven't changed at all. Still as short-tempered as ever. With a personality like that, you'll never get a girlfriend. What woman wants a man who picks a fight every three sentences?"
Caren calmly sipped her black coffee—no sugar—and let out that infuriating "hehe" laugh. Shinji felt every syllable stabbing straight into his eardrums.
"I'll give that line right back to you, Caren," Shinji shot back. "All that time studying at the Church, and you still can't hold a normal conversation."
"That's because you're special," Caren replied instantly. "I'm not this direct with normal people."
"So this is your idea of bullying someone familiar?"
"No. It's just that your reaction when I tease you is incredibly entertaining."
Shinji stopped talking and simply flipped her off with both hands.
Caren didn't even blink. After knowing Shinji for so many years, she was completely immune.
"Oh, don't be mad~ Aren't we the same type of person?"
"I am NOTHING like you."
Caren lifted her eyes toward the TV screen and murmured softly, "When it comes to enjoying watching people suffer… aren't we comrades?"
"…"
This time, Shinji didn't retort. He simply scooted as far away from the terrifying woman as possible.
Shinji absolutely refused to acknowledge Caren's twisted logic. He wasn't "making the protagonists suffer"—he was crafting necessary dramatic tension!
If the heroes just steamrolled the villains all the way, that kind of bland, wish-fulfillment power fantasy wouldn't sell!
No matter how Shinji denied it, Illya and the others still ended up facing a brutal, grueling final battle.
They fought from dusk till dawn—every moment filled with desperate back-and-forth, painful dilemmas, shocking reversals, and the heroes being beaten bloody by their enemies.
To the audience, this wasn't Magical Girl Illya anymore.
This was the Fourth Great Ninja War from Naruto.
The actual story time span was short, yet Shinji had crammed in so much plot and so many fights that people got the illusion that the arc was overflowing with content.
Like any grand finale, the pre-battle atmosphere was crucial. Whether the opening of the final showdown could truly stun the audience depended on how well the sense of oppressive anticipation was built up.
Every director had their own preference.
Some liked showing the protagonist sharing warm moments with family to highlight their humanity; some relied on tense BGM to raise the pressure; others were more straightforward and raised the audience's adrenaline by having the leads share a passionate kiss or two.
Shinji, however, was the type who preferred slow accumulation of emotion. That was why he often had the protagonist walk down a staircase before the battle began.
In the Fate/Stay Night movie, Shinji had Saber climb the long steps of Ryuudou Temple, step by step, to confront Gilgamesh.
In Fate/Zero, the prelude to the final battle was Kiritsugu descending a staircase, step by step, to face Kotomine Kirei.
And in Magical Girl Illya, he used the same method. Illya's group of four descended the stairs, one deliberate step at a time, toward the mirror world where the card awaited.
At moments like this, Shinji refused to add any BGM. He wanted the audience to hear nothing but the crisp echo of the characters' footsteps—forcing all eyes and all focus onto them.
In addition to the main group walking toward the battlefield, Shinji had arranged for Bazett to fall from the sky at the final second.
He did it partly because it fit her warrior aesthetic, and partly to reassure the audience that Bazett had returned to peak condition.
After all, in the earlier pre-battle scenes, Bazett had been shown sleeping under a cardboard box on a riverside recliner—one disheveled hairstyle away from being an actual vagrant.
Most viewers knew it was a comedic mood-breaker, but to prevent nitpickers from questioning Bazett's combat state, Shinji made sure she flaunted a bit of power before the battle.
After all, they were about to face the strongest of the Class Card Servants—
Gilgamesh.
"Everyone, take your positions!"
The magic circle beneath their feet lit up, and Rin used the last few seconds to issue instructions.
"Attack the moment we shift! This battle will be—"
As Rin spoke, everyone moved into their combat stances.
"The one who seizes the card first gains ownership!"
"It's a contest where only that goal matters!"
"—Depart!"
White light swallowed everyone whole. They felt the world twist and distort around them—the sensation that always accompanied entering the Mirror World.
But this time, Illya felt the distortion lasting far longer than usual—as if foreshadowing the difficulty of the battle ahead.
And she was right.
When the shift ended, Illya found herself inside a world overflowing with malice.
Black magical energy flooded the entire space.
And in the center of it stood—the black king who ruled over all.
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