Upon our arrival, we were greeted warmly with hugs and open arms, a smile so big I could feel it even before I saw it.
"Sister Gabriana! Sister Elizabeth!" Sister Mary's voice rang out warmly as she rushed toward us, her arms already outstretched.
"Oh, we've missed you both so dearly at church." She embraced me tightly, and I could feel the genuine love in her hug.
"Elizabeth, dear," Sister Sarah said softly, turning to my mother.
"You look worried. I can see it in your eyes." She paused, placing her hand over my mother's.
"I hope you haven't been stressing over things that are beyond your control. Remember, the Lord carries our burdens when we let Him."
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:34, NIV).
Her kind words made me feel like I wasn't alone here, and I could see how happy everyone was to have us back. This church had been our home for years, and it felt like home every time we walked through those doors.
After exchanging pleasantries with everyone, I made my way to Sunday School, eager to learn more about the Lord's Words.
The lesson for the day was "The Doctrine of Saving Faith," and our Sunday School outlined it clearly:
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While faith can be used in various ways, saving faith is faith that not only knows and comprehends the facts about the gospel of Jesus Christ but also trusts in the person and works of Jesus Christ alone for salvation.
Without Saving Faith, you can't enter the kingdom of God. Only those who are faithful will have full assurance of rest.
Saving Faith is believing, knowing, and doing what needs to be done in order to enter the kingdom of God.
Not everyone who knows God will enter His rest. Salvation is available to all, but some people miss it because they lack saving faith.
Today, if you hear his voice, don't harden your heart. Jesus is fully human and fully God.
Even demons know about God and Jesus; they understand the facts. But this knowledge only makes them tremble. For Christians, faith leads to joy and confidence in the goodness and grace of God, which bestows salvation through Jesus Christ apart from works, even apart from the fruit that flows from faith.
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The students took turns reading these different passages.
"I need everyone to take a brief moment," our teacher, Brother Oseas said with a soft, thoughtful tone.
"Close your eyes if it helps. Imagine how you can put this lesson into practice in your daily lives."
The classroom fell silent for a moment, each of us wrestling with our own thoughts. Then Darrick raised his hand, his expression serious.
"Brother Oseas, something's been bothering me," he said.
"Even though the demons know and understand who Jesus is, they still chose to oppose him, right?" he continued.
Brother Oseas nodded encouragingly. "That's exactly right, Darrick. What are you thinking?"
"Well," Darrick continued, "I guess that means knowledge isn't enough. The demons know, but they don't have faith. So, I shouldn't fear them when they come knocking, because I know that I have salvation in Jesus Christ alone. Not just head knowledge, but real trust."
Sitting there in silence, I realized something. Knowing about Jesus isn't the same as trusting Him. I know all the verses, I show up every Sunday, but am I really letting Him into the broken parts of my heart? The parts that are scared of being hurt again? The parts that still ache when I think about Lucy and Jonah? The parts that feel invisible and unwanted? Maybe saving faith means trusting Him with those pieces, too, even the ones I've been hiding, even when it feels too vulnerable, even when I'm afraid He might let me down too. As he led us into a prayer.
Heavenly Father, I know who You are, and I've heard all the stories about You. But today I realize that knowing about You isn't enough. I want to truly trust You, not just with my good parts, but with the broken pieces too; the parts that are scared of being hurt again, the parts I've been hiding. Help me move from just knowing facts about You to actually leaning on You when I'm hurting. Teach me what saving faith really means: not perfect knowledge, but complete trust, even when it's hard. I surrender the pain from my past relationships, my feelings of invisibility, and my fear of being hurt again. Come into those hidden places in my heart and help me trust You there too. In Jesus' name, Amen.
After the prayer, the class ended. On the way out, I ran into Valentina and Jamie, my best friends from church who are now in college. They greeted me warmly, grinning from ear to ear. I noticed mysterious objects they were wearing. Valentina wore a gold rose heart locket around her neck. While Jamie had a fortune cookie bracelet around her wrist. They seemed like ordinary objects to anyone else but they had an unusual feeling to them that I couldn't understand.
"Welcome back!" they both exclaimed, almost in unison, as we left the classroom to join the rest of our congregation in the sanctuary for worship service.
It felt like Valentina and Jamie's cheerful welcome was a reminder that I was part of something bigger than myself; that I belonged to a community of believers who cared about me even when I wasn't able to attend classes every week due to my depression.
With this positive thought in mind, I stepped into the sanctuary with a contented heart, knowing that I could always rely on my friends Valentina and Jamie whenever I needed them the most.
"Gabriana, we have amazing news to tell you about the recent outreach program we took part in with the church," said Valentina.
"Yeah, it was absolutely amazing. I wish you could've come, but I get it," Jamie added.
"Not to worry, girl, I took a ton of pictures just for you."
"The church is focusing on improving local communities through charity work; teaching life skills to those who need them the most," Valentina explained.
"We also did a clothing drive and gathered donations of gently used items for people in need."
The excitement in their voices was very contagious. They wanted me to be part of the next outreach event, and I couldn't wait to join them.
As I listened to Valentina and Jamie talk about helping others, it made me realize something.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." (1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NIV).
Maybe I've been focusing too much on my own pain with Lucy, Jonah, along with feeling invisible, that I've missed the point. What if love isn't just about finding someone who sees me? What if I've had it wrong all along? Love does not parade itself, or seek its own. But when serving others, I could find what I've been searching for all along.