Fuck, my stomach hurts.
I moved slightly.
Fuck, now my dumb ass arm hurts too.
I felt my heart drop as I heard the stupid hospital beeping that I dread so much.
I opened my eyes.
Fuck, oh my god.
I tried to sit up, but something was trapping my arm.
I looked down at my stomach. It was completely bandaged up, and one wrong move, I could accidentally rip all of the wounds back open.
I turned my attention to my arm, and I smiled.
God, he makes all my pain go away, just looking at him.
I pushed him up slightly so I could sit upright, and I watched as he stirred slightly, but didn't wake up.
I felt myself smile, and I rubbed his back slowly.
God, he is so fucking cute.
I watched as those gorgeous honey brown eyes looked up at me with a confused expression, "Why are you sleeping with your glasses on?" I asked him.
I watched him sit up quickly and stare at me. "Dominic?" he asked in a frantic voice.
Then he quickly got on top of me and hugged me, "Fuck, I thought you weren't going to wake up, oh my god," he said as his voice cracked.
He was hitting all of my wounds at once, but it was okay because it was him.
I rubbed his back, "Aren't you a doll?" I asked as he quickly got off of me and stood up next to the bed.
"Sorry, I was definitely hurting you."
"You were, but it's okay," I said and smiled.
I'm so happy he was the first thing I saw when I woke up, because he truly makes life worth living.
"I thought you were dying," he said.
I reached up to his face and wiped his tears, "It's just a couple of stabs, I was gonna be okay."
He hit my arm lightly, "You literally had to get stitches and a bunch of surgery, because you were bleeding so much, don't say it was a couple of stab wounds!" he yelled at me as I couldn't help but smile.
"Critical condition is for losers. I can't have anyone coming to steal you from me, I can't leave Isabella without a father, and most definitely I can't have Matteo and Leo FUCKING on my couch!" I felt myself yell as Ryder started to laugh as he took one of my hands in his own.
"I have bad news."
"Don't tell me you've found another man?" I asked him, and he rolled his eyes.
"Worse."
"What's worse than…" I closed my eyes, "Leo and Matteo aren't fucking on my couch, are they?" I opened my eyes back up to Ryder, cackling.
"Okay, wait, don't shoot the messenger, but Leo had gone home to take a nap because he was crying so much, and Isabella went to school, so Matteo came to bring me food and get this… Leo calls him. And I'm like okay, not out of the ordinary, your life is on the line, like we all gotta call a fling every once in a while," he said, and I felt myself laughing.
The way he was explaining this whole situation was very funny.
His eyes were moving every which way, and he was using one hand to explain everything because I was holding the other one, and it was just so funny, "yeah sure," I responded, to the very not relatable comment he had made.
"Okay, and Leo's like 'where are you?' in that exact tone I just did. So I'm like, what the fuck? And Matteo's trying to be this kind of pimp, asking him like YO, do you want me to come get you or have a bodyguard do it, and Leo says he doesn't know. And then Matteo says in this sexy ass condescending voice, 'You don't know?' LIKE WHY ARE WE PLAYING IN MY FACE RIGHT NOW?!" Ryder yelled, getting way too into his story.
"Shush, it's still early," I said, laughing, and Ryder squinted his eyes at me.
"Sorry, sorry. Anyway, he starts calling Leo princess and saying, 'Hey, I'll come back and be with you.' And Leo's like, 'Yes, especially when you call me that.' Like what, like there was no coming back from that. And it's almost like Matteo wanted to show this off to me, because why else would he have it on speaker, like my man is dying be fucking for real?" he asked as his eyes got wide.
I smiled at his calling me his man, "Come here," I mumbled.
"Were you listening to a single thing I just said?"
"I was listening, I was. That is actually crazy. I just…" I pulled him closer to me, "I want a kiss," I said.
He rolled his eyes at me, let go of my hand, and then took my face in both of his hands, and he pecked my lips.
Then he started kissing all over my face. "I'm so mad at you. You actually need to be more careful," he said, continuing to kiss me.
"I was trying to be careful," I said, smiling as he made his way back down to my lips.
He gave me four more kisses, then pulled back and gave me a side-eye. "What happened?" he asked as he pulled the chair closer.
"Come sit on the bed," I said, and he stood up and went back on the bed with me.
He moved the pillows, so I was no longer upright but not quite lying down. "So you're more comfortable," he said, and then he put one of my arms around his waist as we both stared at the poorly colored hospital wall in front of us.
"I feel like a pimp right now."
"Why, weirdo?"
"Because of the way I'm holding you, I don't know," I said and started laughing.
"Stop changing the subject," he said, hitting my arm as I pulled him closer and started playing with his stomach.
"Okay, bare bones, Lova came to the…"
He cut me off, turning to me, "Your ex-wife?"
"Yeah, not a good look, but at least she's no longer my ex-wife."
He gave me a weird look, "and what does that mean?"
"Oh, she's dead."
"She's what?!"
"Yeah. She came to our house, stabbed me a couple of times, and then I shot her dead in the living room."
"Oh," he said, giving me a weird look.
"Yeah, I wasn't gonna tell you because I feel like it's so much more than it needs to be, but I fucking needed surgery, so now everyone knows."
"Did you guys talk?"
"More like yell, but yeah. She was working with Elena, and it was an ambush to kill me, but it didn't really work."
"Oh!"
"Yeah. I don't wanna go into the details," I muttered.
"Understandable. Well…I don't really have any words to say right now."
"Yeah, I don't really either, but I'm glad it's over with her."
"Yeah…is Elena gonna lay off for a while?"
"Probably, now she needs a new plan," I said, smiling at him as I squeezed his stomach again.
"Stop squeezing my stomach, weirdo."
"It feels good."
He gave me a weird look, "There is more of you to love," I said with a smile.
"That doesn't make me feel good," he said.
"What would you like me to say? Just looking at you is making me hard."
His eyes went wide as he lightly smacked my shoulder, "Now you just made it weird."
"I don't want you to be insecure. I just want you to be happy and healthy."
"Sorry, sorry. I'm not insecure; I don't want to make this about me. How are YOU feeling?"
"You aren't making it about you, and I'm doing well. I would be better if you helped me down there, though."
"Dominic!" Ryder said.
"I'm joking, I'm joking. I'm sorry."
"You better be."
Our heads turned as the door opened, "Oh, Mr. Caruso is awake!"
"Yes," Ryder said, trying to get off the bed, but I held him tighter.
She walked to the other side of the hospital bed that Ryder wasn't sitting on, "How are you feeling?"
"Fine."
"Any pain?"
"Yeah, like everything."
"Would you like some space or anything like that?"
"No, he is making it better," I said.
"I was trying to give him some space, but he insisted," Ryder said, and she smiled at us.
"Okay, so I didn't expect you to wake up this soon, but you could be discharged either today or tomorrow, probably tomorrow, because we just have to make sure that everything is okay and you haven't ripped out any of your stitches. Does that sound good?"
I nodded slowly.
"Okay, if you need anything, let me know," she said, then started to walk towards the door, and then turned around. "One thing before I go…the walls are very thin, so don't be too loud."
I started cackling as Ryder smacked me, "Get off of me. You see, now the nurse thinks we're weird," he yelled.
"She just told us to be quiet, doll."
Ryder rolled his eyes. "Whatever," he said and then leaned in to peck my lips. Then he pulled back, "I'm just glad you're okay."
God, I'm so glad I'm okay so I can live to see his handsome face another day.
I'm so glad for everything, really.
For my beautiful daughter, for my awesome best friend, for his weird fling, and for my love. They all make life worth living. They all make me wanna wake up another day.
"Me too, me too," I said.