The Barracks
When you finally returned to the barracks, the dagger in your hand felt heavier than it should. You couldn't just return it. There was no way to do so without raising questions. Questions you didn't want to answer. So you did the only thing you could think of. You hid it. You found a loose floorboard under your bunk, lifted it, and placed the dagger inside. You covered it with dust, replaced the board, and lay down on your bed, the familiar scratch of the blankets a small comfort.
You stared at the wooden slats of the bunk above you. The image of Annie at the lake, her pale skin glowing in the moonlight, the cold steel of her blade against your throat, the sweetness of the pastry on her thumb and against your lips, all played in your mind like a dream. You had three soft bodies in your mind now. Adelaide's smooth, round backside. Krista's small, perky ass and her white panties. And now...Annie's naked back, nipples and ass. The curve of her spine, the way her muscles flexed as she moved.
You had begun to awaken a desire within you that was undeniable. A want for them that had not been there before. Or perhaps it had always been there, but it was only now that you were beginning to notice. But beyond those superficial desires, you had seen frailty in Adelaide and Annie that had made you want to protect them, to be stronger for them. No matter how painful or naive it may be. You turned to your side and closed your eyes, the memory of the lake a silent promise.
***
The next morning, the world seemed to be the same as yesterday, but it wasn't. You had changed. The way you saw the world had changed. The way you saw the girls had changed. And they knew it. Their looks, their smiles, their little gestures, all of them had a new meaning. But you had no idea how to respond to them.
Indeed, while you were very aware of the feelings that were starting to arise in your heart and body, you were not sure how to approach them. You were a soldier. Your purpose was to kill Titans. You had no time for such trivialities. And yet, you couldn't ignore them. They were there, a constant presence, and now it made all the cooking make more sense...Was it their way of showing their interest? Or perhaps it was something else? You didn't know.
Though this time at breakfast, you did not receive the usual pieces of bread. It seemed that Mina and Hanna stopped giving the gifts of food. Only Adelaide gave you something, and this time, she made sure to give it to you herself, sitting right next to you and 'taking space' as some would have it.
The other male cadets were happy for this change of pace, and their attitudes became slightly more friendly, now that they were not being left out of the whole affair. Yet, their eyes still followed your every move; after all, they couldn't be too careful when you were still in the picture. Meanwhile, you reminisce on what Emelina had told you about Annie. 'That she was like a cat' was a true assertion; she did not approach you the next day or even the one after that. She did not even give you a single look during the training. She kept that aloof and cold attitude, but even with such treatment, the memory of her vulnerable expression at the lake made you feel that the coldness was nothing more than a shield.
A few days afterwards, your desire to go after her and get some answers was strong, but before that...
"Conrad!" Jean approached you in the middle of a break during ODM training, wiping sweat from his brow. His horse-like face was scrunched in an uncharacteristic way. "I know we haven't always been on the best of terms," He scratched the back of his head, as if admitting that this was both a bit embarrassing for him. "But there is something I need your help with, and if you do, we are even."
"Even?" You asked him, taking a sip of water from your canteen. You had no idea what he meant by that. So far, it was you who had been beating him around the sparring ring. But the way he said it, he made it sound as if he had done you a huge favor. Perhaps by not giving you too much trouble, at least not yet.
He put a hand on his own chest, in a display of sincerity and looked at the ground with a soft blush. "So...You know, about your sister," He started. "I... I want to know if you, as her brother, know what she likes?" He asked, his voice not the confident and arrogant one he usually used.
You stopped drinking. The canteen is halfway to your lips. You just looked at him. "You want to date my sister?" You asked, your tone flat.
"Yes! I... I mean no! I mean... I want to... get to know her better! You know?" He stammered, unable to find the right words. "But I want to avoid... You know... making her angry." He finished, a bit of fear in his eyes. "She does look a bit scary, not that your sister IS scary, but..."
'You never want to see her angry. You thought. Last time that had happened was when you were eight and broke her favorite doll. You still have the scar on your arm from her 'friendly' pinch. It wasn't friendly. But this is something you would not share with Jean. Not yet, at least.
"So... you are asking me for advice on how to not make my sister angry while you try to get closer to her?" You asked again, making sure to get the whole picture right.
"Yes! That's it!" Jean said, relieved that you had understood. "I mean, she is at least smarter than you in trying to get to the military police."
You couldn't help but smirk at that. "Are you sure?" You asked.
"Yeah, she is smart, beautiful, and... strong." He went off on a tangent, "Which is... I don't know... interesting?" He was clearly struggling with the idea that he was attracted to your sister.
The smirk on your face did not fade. If he only knew. He did not know her manipulative tendencies. Her dark side. 'He thinks she is a normal girl,' you thought...You remembered her words to Adelaide at the bakery...How she managed to get her to join the survey corps...and how she constantly reminded you of her disapproval of you joining them. Your smirk faded a bit. 'Just when did her heart get so dark?' But the thought was gone as fast as it came. He was still waiting for an answer.
"I meant if you were sure about trying to get closer to her," You said, taking another sip of your water and looking at him.
"What's that supposed to mean? Do I have a reason to be afraid?" He asked, a bit of that famous Jean bravado returning to him.
Your eyes locked with his. You said nothing. The silence stretched, and you watched as he started to squirm. Good.
"Alright, alright! I get it!" He said, raising his hands in surrender. "She can be a little...intense." He then leaned closer to you. "But... you're her brother. So you must know something."
"She likes to be in control," You stated simply.
"Of what? Of everything?" Jean asked, confused.
"Of everything," You confirmed. "Of her surroundings. Of her grades. Of her friends." You paused, letting that sink in. "And especially, of the people she lets get close to her."
Jean's face scrunched in thought. "So... I should just...let her lead?"
"If you want to live, yes." You told him, and the finality in your tone made him gulp.
"R-Right," He said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Is that... all?"
You considered it for a moment. "Don't lie to her. She'll know. Maybe start with promising to be useful later on." You added, trying to think of something that would appeal to her.
"Useful?" Jean repeated. "How?"
"I don't know. Promise to shine her boots for a year. Just... make yourself useful." You said, shrugging.
Jean let out a sigh. He had imagined a more romantic advice. But then again, he was talking about Emelina. Not a normal girl. "Okay... I will try that. Thanks... I guess." He said, a bit deflated.
You just gave him a nod, though; you did indeed fear for Jean. Then again, perhaps he could become a good test subject to better understand your sister. He walked away, and you couldn't help but feel a little sorry for him. Regardless, it was obvious that the smell of something was in the air; if the boys were getting more interested in the girls, then...Perhaps, you too could be a little more open about your own interests. Still, that was a thought for later.
A whistle came by, signaling the continuation of the ODM exercises. You adjusted your gear and prepared to move out.
-x-X-x-
Around half an hour passed. All the cadets were in the middle of their exercises. Practicing proper use of the ODM gear, economizing on gas consumption, and trying to perfect their aim, which for many was the hardest part. You, on the other hand, were already having an easy time with it. You were a natural. But a certain someone else was not.
"Wohoo!" Eren shouted as he flew through the air, "Take this, you Titans!" He said as he shot the grappling hooks and aimed for the dummy titan's nape.
You saw as he missed the target. He cursed, but he did not give up. He repositioned himself for another attempt. But he did not calculate the right amount of gas. Instead, he barely crashed into one of the tall branches and was left hanging by one of the wires, spinning like a rag doll.
"Eren!" Mikasa went to the rescue as always, helping him get back on the ground.
Meanwhile, Reiner and Jean were having a good-natured competition. Trying to get the most 'kills' on the poor dummies and at the same time, enjoy themselves. This was a point exercise after all, not the real deal that would come after their graduation. They would be the ones leading the charge in the near future, perhaps. You couldn't help but feel some respect for them both.
It was then that you saw Annie pass you by. Her flying in the ODM manuever was certainly a sight to behold. Not too loud, not too flashy. She flew like a bird, with a silent and deadly grace. You watched her as she cut the nape of the dummy Titan with a speed and accuracy that was almost a match for your own. She was moving to an isolated part of the forest where it was harder to manuever, not many cadets dared to go there. But it was also the easiest way to score extra points for the day if you did it right.
Naturally, while other times you would have been fine helping out the cadets who were in trouble, like Eren, for instance, you felt a pull. You told yourself it was just the urge to test your skills against the best. That was all. At least, that's what you told yourself.
You didn't wait for an invitation. You launched yourself into the air after her. You had to catch up, so you used a bit more gas than usual. The forest became a series of brown and green blurs, the sound of the wind in your ears a reminder of the increased speed. Then you saw her ahead, a flash of white blonde hair between the leaves. She was about to make a turn.
As you were about to get close enough, something unexpected happened. You heard the whizzing noise of something...or well, someone right behind you. Before you could react, you were met with a gust of wind, and then the entangling of your grappling wires with a second set of wires. When two metal wires collided, the deceleration was instant and severe. The two of you, entangled together, began to spin until your bodies and that of the intruder crashed against a massive tree.
The impact hurt, but you braced yourself for it and held onto the soft body of the one who had crashed against you. Intent of receiving the brunt of the impact yourself.
"AHH!" The scream came from the girl in your arms. It was a familiar voice. You looked down. It was Krista. Her eyes were completely closed. She was scared, or at least, she appeared to be.
"Krista?" You said, "Are you okay?"
.
------------------->
.
She opened her eyes slowly. The blue orbs gazed at you with a look of terror, but then they softened as she realized who you were. A small blush covered her cheeks. "Conrad?" Her hands were grabbing your shirt for dear life, her body pressed firmly against yours.
The scene was something out of a romance novel. The two of you, entangled in the wires, pressed against the bark of a tree, high above the ground. Her golden hair fell in soft waves around her face.
"I am sorry... I was trying to find a new target... and I guess I misjudged the distance..." She stammered, her face now a deep shade of red. The situation was intimate, and it was clear that she was aware of it.
"Let me get you out of this," You said, reacting as you normally would. Your arms held her, but one of your hands moved to carefully release the wire to allow you to get closer to the ground. Your other hand kept her pressed against you.
"It... it's fine..." She said, her hands still on your shirt. She didn't let go.
You stopped for a second, looking at her. Her blue eyes were filled with something that you couldn't quite place. Was it fear? Was it... longing? The lines were blurry. "I have to release the wires," You told her, your own breath caught in your throat.
Her hands tightened their grip, touching your back muscles in the process, a feeling that made your own spine tense, not just from the workout you had been doing. The heat from the contact was undeniable. "I... I know."
You finally managed to release the wires, and the two of you slowly descended towards the ground. But then one of Krisa's wires gave out from its tension due to the tangle and your quick release, and the descent turned for a brief moment into a fall.
It was then that Krista's arms wrapped around your neck, her body pressing even tighter against yours. Her legs also wrapped around your waist. The softness of her body was a stark contrast to the hardness of your own muscular frame. Her face was buried in the crook of your neck, her hair tickling your skin.
And then...Nothing. The fall stopped a few meters short from the ground, as you managed to hold on with the other wire that you had managed to free in the nick of the ODM gear.
The two of you were left hanging there. For a few seconds that felt like minutes. The only sound was your breathing and the soft rustle of her clothes against yours.
"We are okay," You told her, your own arms wrapped around her tiny waist, her hips on your hands. The smallness of her body was a surprise. You had always thought she was small, but now, holding her, you realized just how delicate she truly was. Almost like a teacup that was made of softness and warmth.
She lifted her head, her face still inches from yours. Her blue eyes were wide, her cheeks flushed. "I... I know," she whispered, her breath warm against your skin. She didn't let go. She just looked at you, her hands still holding on. "You don't mind, do you?"
Her question was so quiet, yet it carried so much weight. Your mind briefly went back to your previous encounters with Adelaide and the memory of Annie's vulnerability at the lake. Yet Krista felt different. Her approach was more direct, more deliberate.
"I don't think I could mind even if I wanted to," You replied calmly. Holding her as you looked to continue the descent, but her grip on your neck tightened again.
"Wait," She said, her body trembling, or at least, you thought it was due to the stress of the moment. Her blue eyes are looking at yours for a sign of something...But your mind was preoccupied with making sure that the fall didn't become more painful than it had to be. But also the fact that Annie was now beyond your reach, again, now that you had been distracted, was at the back of your mind. You were a soldier, you needed to focus...But the body of the girl in your arms still made it hard to concentrate on anything else
"What is it?"
"I...don't think I would like the others seeing me like this..." She muttered. There was a sincerity in her voice that was hard to ignore. But your mission was to get both of you safely on the ground. So, you began to slowly lower both of you.
"Almost there," You told her, your voice gentle.
When your boots finally touched the grass, you didn't let her go. Her legs were still wrapped around your waist, her arms around your neck. You looked at her, waiting for her to make the next move.
She looked at you, her face still flushed. Then she slowly unwrapped her legs from your waist, her small feet touching the ground. Her arms lingered around your neck for a moment longer before she finally let go.
"Thank you," She said, her hands smoothing down her uniform, her eyes looking anywhere but at you.
"You're welcome," You said, already checking your gear for any damage. You turned your back to her, fiddling with the wires and the gas canisters.
"Conrad!" Krista's voice was a bit higher than usual; she was worried as she noticed your uniform was tattered, most likely from the initial impact against the tree. "You are hurt!"
You looked at the tear in your uniform on the left shoulder, then at her. There was some blood, yes. But it was just a scratch. "It's nothing." You said, trying to reassure her.
"But...you're bleeding..." She insisted, stepping closer. "Let me see." Her small hand reached out to take off your jacket and see the wound.
"I told you, it's nothing," You said, taking a step back. You didn't want her to get the wrong idea. The fall was an accident. The wound was an accident.
"Please," She said, her eyes pleading. "Just let me check." You let out a sigh but didn't refuse this time. You took off your jacket, leaving you in the standard white shirt, which had also suffered a combat 'injury' as a result.
"This is... worse than I thought," She said as she inspected the wound. Her fingers traced the outline of the cut, her touch surprisingly gentle. "It's not deep, but we should clean it."
"We should get back to training," You said, your mind already on the points you were losing by staying here.
"No," She said, her tone firm. "We'll take a short break." She then opened her own pack and took out a small medical kit. "I always carry one with me," She said, a proud smile on her face. "Sit down, will you?" She gestured to a nearby log.
You looked at her, then at the sky, then back at her. You saw that her request was not only about the wound but about something else. The way she held the medical kit, the way she looked at you, it was clear that she wanted to take care of you. To have a moment alone with you. And against your better judgment, you sat down.
She knelt in front of you, her small frame a stark contrast to yours. She opened the kit, the way her hands moved to find the antiseptic and a piece of cloth, it was a bit cute, but you tried to not get distracted.
"I can't get to it if you don't take off your shirt," She said, not with flushed cheeks but with a demanding tone.
That surprised you. You had expected her to be shy. But she seemed... different. Assertiveness like this wasn't certainly common on Krista, still, you were not going to make things difficult for her. You pulled the shirt over your head, the muscles in your arms and shoulders flexing with the movement. Your chest and abdomen also showed the signs of your training.
Her breath hitched, but she steeled herself. "Right," She said, more to herself than to you. She then took a piece of cloth and soaked it in the antiseptic, the strong smell filling the air.
"Don't move," She commanded.
You expected a stinging sensation, but her touch was so gentle that you barely felt the cold of the liquid on your skin. She dabbed at the wound, her brows furrowed in concentration. Then she leaned closer, her breath warm against your shoulder. She blew on the wound. A small gesture, but one that sent a shiver down your spine. A small shiver of pleasure.
"Does that feel better?" She asked, her blue eyes looking at the wound. A small, self-satisfied smile played on her lips.
"It's fine," You said. The tension in the air was palpable. Her proximity was doing things to you. But you kept it steady. You are a soldier, and you should act like one.
She then took out a clean bandage and started to wrap it around your shoulder. Her hands moved with practiced ease, but the contact was still intimate. The feeling of her fingers against your skin, the way her body leaned against yours as she wrapped the bandage, it was all too much.
"I am sorry," She said, breaking the silence. "For not being more careful. For hurting you." The sincerity in her words spoke of a deep-seated need for forgiveness.
"Accidents happen," You told her. "It's not the first time I've been hurt during training."
"But this is different," She insisted, her eyes now looking straight into yours. "I... I was not paying attention to where I was going. I... I saw you were going..."
She stopped herself, her face turning red. She had almost admitted to her real intentions. "I mean... I was just trying to get a better angle."
You didn't press her. You could see she was struggling. The look in her eyes reminded you of someone. It was a feeling that you knew too well, the desperate need to be seen, to be valued. The same need that had driven you to push yourself so hard. The drive to not be a burden to your family, to prove that you could be the one to protect them.
"It's okay," You said, your voice softer this time. "I understand."
"Do you?" She asked more seriously. "Do you really?"Her voice had a bit of a challenge to it.
You stood up. Your bare chest was exposed to the sun. You put your shirt back on. "I do," You told her. "We all have our reasons for being here, don't we? We aren't that different in the end." You looked at her and gave her a small, tired smile.
"You are wrong," She said, her eyes now downcast, looking at her own boots. "I am nothing like you..." There were words that she contained within herself, but they refused to leave her lips. It was as if she couldn't say them out loud. Her hands clasped together in front of her, a gesture of self-restraint. But then, as if to get some courage, she looked at you. "Conrad..." she started.
"Yes?"
"You do remember the first night we arrived here? When you saw..." She looked away again, a blush on her cheeks.
You couldn't help but chuckle for once at her attitude; she was really going for it. "I do, but I turned away, remember?" You told her. You wanted to make clear that you had not seen anything and that her trust was not broken.
"Is that what you want me to think?" She pressed, her gaze now fixed on yours, her blue eyes challenging. "You saw, and you liked it, didn't you?" Her small hands moved to your chest, her fingers tracing the outline of your muscles over the fabric of your shirt. "I did mind a lot," she said, her voice loud and clear. "You are not supposed to see me like that." She said, teasingly, a small smile playing on her lips.
That smile, though, was not the one you were used to. It was not the sweet, gentle smile you had seen before. This one had a different, more confident, almost predatory feel to it. And then she did something that you didn't expect.
She took a step back and began to unbutton her white shirt. Your eyes focused on the way her fingers moved. The way she took her time. The way the white fabric parted to reveal the smooth, pale skin of her belly and hips, until finally, she stopped just before exposing her breasts. But the underside of her small and perky breasts was now visible.
Krista did not blush; she instead looked at you for a reaction. Her blue eyes were filled with a mix of defiance and something else. Something that was asking for a response. You did not speak, your mind still trying to process what was happening.
"You are not supposed to see this either," She said, as she held her shirt in her hands, not caring for the risk of being discovered, and only caring for your reaction. "But I am not afraid to be seen by you."
.
----------------->
.
"Krista, what are you doing?" You managed to ask, your own voice a bit hoarser than you expected.
"Trying to be as strong as you..." She then buttoned up her shirt and put on her jacket once more. The brief exposure was now a memory, a flash of pale skin that burned in your mind. "Are you going to tell anyone about this?" She asked with a confident smirk.
"I have no reason to," You replied honestly.
"Good," She said, her smile returning to its usual sweetness, which now...felt fake but also somewhat... appropriate. "I wouldn't want you to."
"I should take my leave," You said, finally able to form a coherent thought.
"Wait," She said with that same angelic smile as before, but this time, all she did was extend her hand forward and pat your chest in a friendly manner.
A pat that felt a lot less friendly and a lot more like a claim. "Thank you, Conrad."
You let out a sigh and decided to just fly away as soon as possible. As your grappling hooks flew towards the treetops, your mind raced. The image of her small, perky breasts remained with you. The memory of her defiance and the strange confidence she had displayed. The way she had looked at you, challenging you, daring you to react. You were not sure how to feel about it. You were not sure how to feel about her. And then, the horn signaled the end of the training exercise...Had it taken that long? You thought.
For a not-so-brief moment, Krista had managed to wipe your Annie-related quest from your mind. What a strange little angel, you thought. You had thought she was weak, fragile. But now, you saw a glimpse of something else. A fire, a strength you had not expected. Just what kind of people were you training with?
-x-X-x-
A few moments later
"HAHAHA!" Krista's laughter rang through the small secluded spot of the forest where the training had been taking place. She immediately hugged herself with her arms, her face completely flushed. She leaned against a tree for support, her legs shaking a little from the adrenaline wearing off. Ymir, who had been watching from a distance, now walked over to her, a look of disbelief on her face.
'What did I just do?' Krista thought to herself. The words had come out of her mouth without a thought. The actions had been a blur. She had been so desperate to get a reaction out of him, to see if anything worked. And it had worked. Too well. On herself...The image of his bare chest, the way he looked at her, it was all too much.
'What an idiot... and what am I? A bigger idiot?' She was laughing at her own foolishness. For a second, she had let herself be carried away. A genuine, unrestrained laugh escaped her lips, a rare sound that was filled with a mix of joy, relief, and a bit of madness. A little tear escaped from her eye, a physical manifestation of the emotional release. 'He is such an idiot too... He didn't even... He just stood there.'
There was a spark of something below her waist, a small warmth that spread through her body. She was surprised. It was the first time she had ever felt this way. Not a desire to die, but a desire to live. A desire to be seen. A desire to be wanted...To be forgiven for existing. 'I guess that as long as I live...He will be able to see me....' The thought was a revelation. A new path opened before her, one she had not considered before. The guilt of using Adelaide was still there, but it was overshadowed by this newfound feeling of... hope.
"Krista!" Ymir's voice cut through her thoughts. "Where were you?! I lost sight of you during the exercise! Are you okay?" She asked, her usual sarcastic tone now laced with a genuine concern. Her eyes scanned Krista, looking for any injuries.
Krista immediately wiped the tear away, her face returning to its usual serene expression. She had to hide the blush that was still coloring her cheeks. The way she had to hide herself behind a mask again felt... exhausting.
"I'm fine, Ymir," She said, her smile now practiced. "I just had a little trouble with the gear, but Conrad helped me. I think I sprained my ankle a little, but it's fine."
Ymir's eyes narrowed. She could tell her lies from a mile away. "Conrad, huh?" She said, her tone a mix of suspicion and something else. "What were you two doing?"
"Just talking," Krista said, her voice steady. "He's a nice guy, you know."
Ymir snorted. "If you say so," She said, her eyes still scanning Krista's face. She was not convinced. However, the way her voice came out, you could tell she was not exactly pleased with the thought. But the lie was so good that it was hard to argue. After all, who would doubt an angel with a sprained ankle?
"You're a terrible liar, you know that?" Ymir said, her hand moving to ruffle Krista's hair.
"I know," Krista said, a genuine smile now gracing her lips. "But you believe me anyway, don't you?"
Those words caught both Ymir and Krista by surprise. Ymir's hand froze, her fingers tangled in Krista's hair. Her face, usually a mask of cynicism, now showed a flicker of something else. "Yeah," She said, her voice quiet. "I guess I do."
The sincerity in her response was a rare thing for Ymir, a crack in the armor she wore to protect herself. And in that moment, Krista felt a pang of guilt. She was using her, using everyone, to get what she wanted. The feeling was fleeting, but it was there. She couldn't push it away for too long, though, but that feeling from before...That little bit of freedom, she wanted to stash it in her heart and save it for later. For when she would need it.
"Let's go back," Krista said, her voice a bit too cheerful.
"Yeah," Ymir said, her hand finally leaving Krista's hair. She then threw her arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. "You're a real piece of work, you know that?" She said, a smirk back on her face. "I don't know why I put up with you."
Krista decided not to answer and just leaned against Ymir for a moment before they made it back to the training grounds. 'Conrad didn't see anything, huh?' She thought to herself with a giggle.
-x-X-x-
A Day before the Collision
It was back to hand-to-hand training exercises, and Annie's mind was a mess. Her concentration in combat did not falter; after all, there was still fun to be had, and this time her sparring partner would be Eren. The black-haired boy kept asking to learn more and more about her special techniques, and his interest had only grown more after her performance in the last sparring match.
The two of them stood in the sparring circle. Eren was ready, though, the last few times he had been beaten into a pulp by the girl in question. Still, he stood with that usual stubborn glare.
"I am ready!" Eren declared as he got into his fighting stance.
Annie merely nodded, her usual cold self. "I hope your manners improved." The last time they fought, she had been annoyed at his lack of respect.
The spar began. But the clash was not as intense as the one with Conrad. Eren's movements were more predictable, and Annie's counters were always a step ahead. She was teaching him a lesson, not trying to break him.
But once more, Eren ended up on the ground. He held his head up, looking at her. "Damn, that...h—" He inspected himself for the pain that he was expecting to feel, but the last hold she had put on him had been with less strength than before.
"Huh...Annie," He asked, getting up, "You are not going easy on me, are you?" He asked, with a bit of suspicion, he could not believe that she was not going all out at him.
"Eh...?" She said, looking at her own fists, and at Eren's determined face. "Can't a lady go easy on a man? Do you complain about this too?" She said with the same neutral face she always had.
"No! I—... I mean... thank you?" Eren said, not knowing how to react.
"I've just thought that my training lessons were not being that helpful after all," She said while she turned around. "Maybe I am a terrible teacher." She told him.
"Ehhh? Is that some sort of reverse psychology trick or something?" Eren questioned.
"It's an observation." She answered, not looking at him. "But pain is not something that you should seek, right?" Annie told him.
"I guess?" Eren replied, scratching the back of his head. "Back to training!" He decided, not wanting to dwell on the topic.
Annie gave a nod and got ready to impart another lesson.
A Day after the Collision
The gasps for air from Eren were frantic and intense, "A-Annie!" A scream escaped from him as she held him in a chokehold. A hold that was much stronger than usual, a hold that was meant to be a final one for the day.
"All you men are the same," She stated as she held him, her words not aimed at Eren, but to herself. The anger inside her needed a release. And Eren, as much as she respected his determination, he was a convenient outlet.
"W-What?" He managed to ask, turning a bit blue from the lack of oxygen.
"It doesn't matter," She said, and then she released him, sending him to the ground with a gasp. The look in her eyes was the coldest that it had ever been. For some reason, she had a clear idea of what she wanted to do, and it involved making someone else feel a sliver of what she was feeling.
Poor Eren was now almost knocked out on the ground, holding his throat. "What... was that... about?" He asked, barely able to speak.
"We are done for today," She said, her voice devoid of emotion. She then turned her back on him and walked away, her steps as steady as ever. But even in that emotional state, she threw a glance at Conrad, who was looking at her from the other side of the training grounds. There was an intensity in her look, a look that was meant only for him. Then her gaze changed towards Krista, a brief moment of what looked like... disdain? She blew some air onto a strand of her blonde hair, clearing her vision. 'A type, huh?' She thought, comparing herself to the 'angel' and her actions.
She could hear Mikasa calling her name, probably to settle the score after doing what she did to Eren, but she was not in the mood. So she walked away, not wanting to be bothered.
-x-X-x-
The following days after the collision with Krista were filled once more with mixed feelings, especially from you.
Now, every interaction you had with Krista was tinted with that brief, bold moment in the forest. She had never mentioned it again, but there was a new confidence in her smile, a new directness in her gaze. She no longer blushed and looked away when your eyes met. Instead, she held your gaze, a small, knowing smile playing on her lips.
Only you and she knew what had happened. The memory of her small, perky breasts was a constant, a secret that was both thrilling and confusing. And now, Adelaide was also more determined to get closer to you, sitting next to you at every meal, her leg sometimes brushing against yours, but it was Krista who somehow managed to maintain her confidence.
Even the other boys came to notice Krista's slightly more confident and radiant attitude.
"She really is a Goddess," Reiner commented one day as he watched Krista and Adelaide laugh with each other.
Jean also had his own stupid smile on his face, "What?" He seemed not be able to follow conversations as of late.
"I wonder what got her to be in such a good mood, even the food is better than usual," Connie said, digging into his stew.
"Must be something...I can't tell what," Marco replied, trying to analyze the situation in his own way.
"Maybe, it's love?" Eren stated, causing a big laugh from the others.
"Sure, Eren!" Connie let out a small chuckle, "You can't even tell if a girl likes you or not, so you wouldn't know."
Eren's face showed complete expression, "Huh? What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing, nothing, forget it," Connie said, trying to save himself from a pointless argument.
Krista had also made sure to stay closer to you, whether it was in cooking duty, maintenance, or firewood duty. There were countless moments where her small hands would brush against yours, a fleeting contact that sent a jolt through you. Or the way she would ask for your help with some trivial task, her blue eyes looking up at you with a mixture of innocence and that dangerous confidence that she carried with herself.
Only Ymir's presence seemed to be a bit more overbearing than usual. She was always there, watching, her arms crossed, her expression that of a not very amused guard dog. But she never said anything to you directly. She just glared. A constant, silent warning.
But while Krista had managed to grab a piece of your attention, Annie's coldness had the opposite effect. She actively avoided you. She turned away when you looked at her. She chose different paths in the training grounds. The small, almost imperceptible changes in her routine were clear to you. She was building a wall around herself, a wall that you had somehow helped to build.
It was a wall that you ironically wanted to bring down. The memory of the lake, of her vulnerability, was a constant source of fascination for you. But she was not making it easy. Not at all.
So you decided to do the only thing that made sense. You went to the one person who might have a clue. You went to your sister.
"Annie?" Emelina said, her head tilted as she sharpened a combat knife on a whetstone. The scrape of metal on stone was a steady, rhythmic sound. "What about her?"
"She's been avoiding me," you said, leaning against the wall of the weapons shed. "Since that time, I apologized."
The scraping stopped. Emelina's eyes stared at the ground for a moment too long.
"Ah," Emelina said, her gaze fixed on the whetstone. She started sharpening the knife again, the metal screaming against the stone. "...Why do I have such a dense brother?"
You pushed yourself off the wall and stepped into the shed, grabbing another whetstone. "I'm not dense," you said.
"Of course you are," she replied. You picked up your own knife and began to mimic her movements. "Nothing gets through you, I bet not even a Titan's fist."
The two of you sharpened your knives in silence, the shed filling with the rhythmic screech of metal. You could feel her watching you, even without looking. The tension was a familiar thing, a comfortable tension that had always existed between you.
"Say...She told me she needed a favor, you know?" Emelina said nonchalantly, her eyes now on you.
"What kind of favor?" You asked, your own eyes never leaving the blade.
"She wanted me to take up one of her cleaning duties. This time at the armory, I think Shadis told her to clean up the whole arsenal of muskets," She told you. "It's not a bad job, but I have my own duties...She wanted me to take it because she had something to do."
'Something to do? What could she possibly have that was more important than training? You thought. But your sister's next words made it clear.
"Maybe, she is just slacking. Anyway, since you are my strong brother, why don't you do it for me?" She asked, her voice dripping with fake sweetness.
So you did. The armory was a large, dusty building filled with racks of rifles and crates of ammunition. The air was thick with the smell of gunpowder and oil. You found the cleaning kit and a list of the weapons that needed to be cleaned. You started with the rifles, your hands moving with practiced ease. The work was tedious, and given that there was a deadline for noon of the next day, you could not afford to slack.
If this were a way to get to Annie, you would have no problem doing it. Still, the list of things that needed cleaning was long...Too long, was this some sort of punishment? You thought. 'Just what did she do to get such a punishment?'
Regardless, you continued even as midnight approached. Your sister made sure that nobody came to bother you. Annie was nowhere to be seen either, but you continued. The tiredness began to set in you, not just because of the work, but because of the training that you and Mikasa were doing. After all, she was on a league of her own; her endurance was higher than yours, and her strength could even rival your own, not that it stopped you from trying to be better.
You wiped the sweat from your brow, the metal of the rifle cold against your skin. You decided to take a short break, leaning against one of the crates. But then the sleep began to take hold, and you were starting to fall asleep. You closed your eyes for the briefest of moments. Just a moment.
When you opened them again, it was still not dawn yet, but you felt a gentle weight on your shoulder. And a familiar smell. You turned your head slightly. Annie was asleep. Her head resting on your shoulder, her breathing soft and even. The moonlight from the high window shone on her blonde hair, making it look like a halo.
.
------------------->
.
She must have come in while you were sleeping, and finding you there, she must have...Decided to rest. The rational explanation was simple, but the sight of her so close, so vulnerable, was anything but simple. Your heart hammered against your ribs, and you had to fight the urge to move, to touch her. It was only the realization of how tired Annie had to be to fall asleep in an armory, next to the person she was actively avoiding, that kept you still.
She looked peaceful. The harsh lines of her face were softened in sleep. The frown that seemed permanently etched between her brows was gone. In its place was a quiet serenity that you had never seen before.
Your arm was starting to go numb. You had to move. But as you tried to shift your position, she stirred, her head nuzzling deeper into your shoulder, a soft sigh escaping her lips. "Dad..." She muttered, her voice weak and fragile. A single word that cracked open a door into a life you knew nothing about. A life she had kept hidden from everyone.
You froze again. The word had been a whisper, a secret spoken in the dead of night. But it was a secret you had heard. A secret that made her seem even more vulnerable than ever before and yet, in that quietness and calm of her face...Had it been because of you?
"No...He..." She said, the word being a mere fragment of a dream. "I can't... not yet," She mumbled.
The sight made you feel something strange. A mix of pity and admiration. Pity for the girl who was clearly haunted by her past. Admiration for the strength she had to carry that burden with her every day. Her head weighed next to nothing, yet you felt its pressure with an intensity that defied physics. You thought about the dagger hidden under your bunk, the cold steel against your throat. But you forgot about it all in that moment, in that armory.
You closed your eyes, ignoring the obvious danger that lay before you; the possibility that she might wake up was not a risk you would take. Not for that.
When you opened your eyes again, the first light of dawn was filtering through the high windows. And Annie was gone. The only evidence of her presence was the slight indentation on the musket crate next to you and the lingering scent of something you had not smelled in a while. But you could not really figure out what it was, but it was definitely different than the forest or the training grounds.
You completed your mission without much thought until dawn approached. Then you headed back to the barracks, but surprisingly, you did not feel tired anymore. The short rest had been enough to keep you awake for the rest of the morning. The sleepy face of Annie was something that you would carry in your mind. Perhaps, just perhaps…She had forgiven you.
-x-X-x-
Inside the Girl's Dormitory
Adelaide was unable to sleep; it was not because she had not completed her daily duties, but because she felt strange and uncomfortable. Since the day that Krista and her had a talk in the stables, a change in Adelaide had been brewing. 'Be more confident', she remembered her saying, and oh, she had tried. She made sure to sit next to Conrad, extra close during meals and training breaks.
Yet she had been pushed back, not by him, but by her own insecurity. Krista's slightly growing confidence as she approached Conrad with an ease that made Adelaide's own efforts feel clunky and childish. Adelaide was making an effort to bake extra treats for him; a small smile of joy spread across her face whenever she saw him enjoy her food. But she could notice that it was not her closeness or food that was drawing the attention of the silver-haired boy.
Instead, it was the closeness of Krista and her growing confidence that seemed to be drawing more of Conrad's attention. Now she noticed each little time when she and Conrad walked together from the training grounds to the mess hall, how he seemed to look at her from the corner of his eye.
Within her mind, she began to find reasons...excuses to justify the change. 'He is looking at her to make sure she does not fall, she is smaller than I am...' She whispered to herself. 'That must be it... He is just looking out for her as a friend.'
And yet she could not ignore the fact that when she sat next to him at the mess hall, she could not get him to look at her with the same intensity. As thoughts came into her mind, that crushing feeling within her chest was now a bit too much for her to handle. Was she just escaping from the truth? That she was no longer the only girl he saw? She bit her lower lip as her hands clutched her pillow. 'No, that was not it...The truth is...She's perfect, and I am not.'
Dread and a bitter taste filled her mouth; she remembered Krista's words, "You are a pretty girl," they had been, but the comparison only made her feel more inadequate. The self-doubt that she had been fighting all this time now came back in full force. She felt small. Not just in stature, but in spirit. 'Maybe...Maybe it is pointless for me to try' she thought, but then she remembered her promise to herself, not to be the girl who needed to be rescued. To not lose him...Her hero.
She wiped a tear from her cheek that she did not think she had. Then she realized that what she needed was to clear her head. To get away from the suffocating warmth of the dormitory and the prying eyes of her comrades, she tiptoed out of the room.
The cold night air hit her face, and she took a deep breath. The moon was full, casting long shadows across the training grounds. She walked towards the stables, her footsteps silent on the sand below. And then she saw it, that silver hair of his reflected on a window of the armory. 'Conrad? What is he doing up?' She thought.
She approached the armory, her heart pounding in her chest. The door was slightly ajar. She pushed it open, her eyes adjusting to the dim light inside. And then she saw him. He was asleep, leaning against a crate of muskets. And on his shoulder was Annie. Her head resting on him, her breathing soft.
Her world stopped. The hope she had clung to, the small fire of determination that Krista had ignited, was extinguished in an instant. 'I see. She is stronger than I after all,' she thought. She didn't feel angry. She didn't feel betrayed. She felt... small. Insignificant. A faint taste of bile rose in her throat. She had no right to be here. To see this.
So she ran. She ran as fast as she could, her legs pumping, her lungs burning. The image of them together burned into her mind. The way Annie's blonde hair shone in the moonlight. The way Krista's smile shone towards him. 'He is my hero.' But a hero does not belong to just one person. He belongs to everyone. He belongs to them.
She found a small secluded spot behind the mess hall. She leaned against the cold brick wall, her chest heaving. She slid down to the ground, pulling her knees to her chest. The tears came, hot and silent, tracing paths down her cheeks. She didn't make a sound.
'Not good enough,' a voice in her head whispered. 'Never good enough.' The bread she baked, the smiles she offered, the quiet devotion she held—all of it felt like cheap trinkets next to Krista's radiance, next to Annie's fierce allure. She was just... Adelaide. The baker's daughter. The girl he had saved. Twice. Nothing more than that.
A sob escaped her lips, a choked, broken sound. She buried her face in her hands, her body shaking with the force of her grief. She allowed herself a moment, a single moment of pure, unadulterated despair.
Then she stopped.
Her hands dropped from her face. She looked at them, at the calluses forming on her palms from the ODM gear. The tears on her cheeks dried in the cool night air, leaving a tight, uncomfortable sensation on her skin. 'Why am I crying?' she asked herself. 'This is not why he saved me. This is not why I came here.'
She stood up, brushing the dirt from her uniform. The back wall of the mess hall was cold against her back, but it didn't matter. She felt a new kind of heat building inside her. A slow, burning anger. Not at him. Never at him. Not at Krista, not even at Annie. The anger was directed inward. Why was she so reliant on him? On the memory of him saving her, as if that was her only value?
Her mother had always told her, "Your hands, Adelaide, will bring comfort to people. Your bread will warm their bellies and their hearts." She had done just that, sharing her pastries with the rest of the cadets...But her efforts had been focused on one person. And look where it got her.
Her fists clenched at her sides. 'No.' The thought was a solid thing, a stone dropped into a still pond. 'No more.' A new resolve took root, a determination that had nothing to do with pleasing a boy and everything to do with something else. If she could not get him to look at her, perhaps it was because she was looking at him too much...Looking up. She had always looked up.
Adelaide looked up at the moon, the pale light serving to illuminate her face, and she smiled. It wasn't a sweet smile. It wasn't a gentle smile. It was the sort of smile that only held true to yourself. 'He has saved me enough times.' She thought.
That first night came back to her...The way her words spoke of a newfound confidence, perhaps that was all fake, but now. This? It was not. She would be sure of that.