Chapter 963 - Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Meeting the Team!

Part 1

Eventually, I did get to sleep. Took for fucking ever, but I managed it. I woke up to the sun, having apparently slept through the Haste effect ending, which was… unusual.

Man, I really had been off beat yesterday. Wasn't sure if it was the dragon or the portal. Probably the second; I'd gotten my ass kicked a number of times before, and while yeah that tended to leave you tired, it wasn't normally enough to slip through the sudden shift in background noise and vibration when shifting into a different temporal framerate.

Thankfully, I didn't wake up that late, Haste/Slow had still effectively bought me five hours. But still it surprised me how much I actually had overslept, getting up at around sixish despite crashing out a little after one.

Grumbling to myself, I popped a Goodberry and set into my normal 'not able to run outside' ninety minute morning workout. Once that little habit was complete, I shaved, showered, and otherwise cleaned myself up before heading down to sign out of the hotel room so I could set out to 'work'.

Step one. Find a payphone. I asked the desk, and while the guy behind it didn't know where one was, they in turn asked someone in the back who suggested a bus station that had one not too far away.

Step two, go to said payphone.

Stap two point five. Stop at the nice little coffee shop I saw on the way to the payphone. Get an over-priced C+ tops grade cafe mocha, a surprisingly good banana/chocolate/oatmeal/coconut abomination of a muffin and then a second muffin for the road.

Step three! Get to the pay phone and dig through the yellow pages. Be grateful Taylor (and hence her Father's) last name is spelled 'Hebert' not the much more common 'Herbert'.

Step four. Finally call said number after making a note of said address.

"Hello?" A young, notably female voice answered.

"Taylor?" I tried.

"This is Taylor," she said, sounding wary.

"Oh good, you are alive," I exhaled in relief. "Keep doing that."

"...Okay?" she said, sounding very unsure of how to respond to that, and somehow even more wary.

"Thinker bullshit," I said flat out. Wondering if normally that'd set off some sort of automated wiretap. "I'm guessing you headed to the big glowing portal last night?"

"W-what!?" She asked, shocked. "Who are you?" she demanded.

"I'm going by Tarn. Well, Kamen Rider Tarn, but the first part's unofficial for copyright reasons," I clarified. "Let me throw a proposal for you. Pick a public place and time, somewhere where no one would risk trying anything. I'll meet up with you and explain." I offered.

"Why would I do that?" she asked. "I've never heard of you. What do you want?"

"Not surprised, I'm new to the area. And what I want is a very long and involved story, but will likely involve punching Nazis. You in?" I asked cheerfully.

She hung up on me.

I blinked. "Huh," Did not expect that. Did I push too aggressively? Press the 'Emma' button somehow? Ah well… Three out of four wasn't too bad.

Like I'd said before, I didn't strictly need to be friends with Taylor. Just needed her around as a handy plan B. And while I was sympathetic to her situation; it was hard to read out someone's life story and not be. The fact still was that, when you really thought about it? She wasn't actually in that bad of a situation.

I mean Taylor had a living parent who gave at least fifty percent of a fuck about her wellbeing and wasn't, for example, trying to either murder and/or rape her into compliance. That alone probably bumped her to near the middle of the line when it came to being shit on in this Walmart of a setting.

Now the mess she'd get involved in later on. That shit got tragic. But that was later, and as the previous night showed, it wasn't butterflies flapping their wings right now. It was Mothras.

…That did give me some neat ideas for when we did eventually meet up though.

With that important task completed. I moved onto the next item on my ever growing 'to do' list.

Namely, getting my hands on a fake ID!

Thankfully, I'd taken a course on that. And, to my great fortune, between its 'advanced but not too advanced' technology level, and immense societal corruption, Earth Bet was a textbook example of one of the worlds where it was easiest to do so.

Less great, the best method for my current needs was still going to require money, and right now my only source of quick cash was Blood Money. A cantrip I'd developed somewhat, but very far from mastered.

Mostly because Steven normally handed out more than enough cash that I didn't need to resort to the spell. As the name implied, it wasn't exactly a fun one to train. I'd actually mostly used it as a way to help train Blessing.

Luckily, at my current level of mastery? It didn't even need to be my blood! I could count the blood of others that I had actively shed as mine 'by right of conquest', as long as I cast the spell within four hours or so of doing so. That was actually how I'd paid for the hotel last night.

Less luckily, thanks to me mostly using a mixture of blunt force and fire, combined with the fact Lee-ash didn't count, had limited my income.

Back on the fortuitous end of things. At my skill level with the spell? I could get a bit under a dollar a drop, which was a pretty good exchange rate when you realized how small a drop actually was. I could actually net slightly more than five grand a pint. Not 'fuck you' money, but enough to live off of if you were even modestly humble about your means…. Or knew healing magic.

It did however count as a form of fraud in most worlds, including this one. So… couldn't exactly rely on it long or large term without worrying about the IRS.

For now, it'd do the job. Though I'd probably need to cast it again if I wanted to make any other 'big budget' expenses after this. Fake IDs were cheap, but good fake IDs could get pricey.

There were other methods to get an ID of course. I was half tempted to just try and find an Empire or ABB bar. Walk in, start a fight, beat the living shit out of one, steal their ID. But that was a very short term option, though it could be step one of a few more comprehensive ID creation schemes.

However, while tempting, I'd ultimately decided to just go with the simple approach. I wandered to the bad end of town. Specifically the part near the local secondary education (IE Winslow, Taylor's school), and walked around until I smelt someone smelling of a specific herb who was hanging around a street corner.

After approaching said person, and buying some of said herb off of them to 'prove I wasn't a narc' and asked if he knew a guy who could also do fake IDs. And this time I got lucky. Turns out that in a city as rotten as Brockton Bay? Not only did he have a few 'disposables' himself, he had multiple options of referrals, complete with recommendations based on my price range.

After that, it was a quick stop to a specific lamination shop that I was actually kind of disappointed hadn't been an ambush of some kind. I then got my picture taken and was told to come back in five days. A few hundred on top of their asking price and those five days became two days. Which, while not ideal, was better than I'd been expecting.

That job done I went to go fulfill the one activity every person who had ever knowingly ended up transported to Worm did.

Get a big, greasy, surprisingly delicious burger at Fugly Bobs.

Which was… Oh man. It wasn't the best burger I'd ever had. Hellsalem's Lot had some places that cooked patties that were delicious on literally dangerous levels, to say nothing of fairy food. But for mortal cuisine? Bob could have charged far more for his food, if not for its inherently 'low brow' nature… and probably health concerns.

Of course, Stabilize let me roll back that sort of issue, so it was all good as far as I was concerned! I was definitely becoming a regular.

Looking at the sky and seeing the sun just starting to set, I noted I had a few hours left until my timer ran dry, and a cheeky idea came to mind.

I grabbed the burner phone and called up the Undersiders.

"About time you called," Lisa's melodically sardonic voice complained. Ah, what a sweet tone. Surely I wouldn't regret effectively condemning myself to an eternity of listening to it.

"Hello Lisa, lovely day. How are you?" I asked politely.

"Ugh," was her response.

"Seriously though, how are you," I repeated more seriously. "I know I offered treatment last night, but are you guys fine? No major injuries?"

"We're fine, sweet of you to ask," she said, voice still laden with sarcasm. "You know the PRT is already fingering 'Tarn' as responsible for the portal? Might want to come up with another identity if you're going to be hanging around."

"Thanks for the tip," I replied. "Grue still interested in squaring up our little 'debt'?"

"Is your 'window' open again?" she asked. "Don't think I haven't narrowed down what that could mean."

"Never would," I assured. "But nah, finished that up this morning."

I didn't hear her tisk, twitch, or react in anyway, but the momentarily silence after that was telling in its own way. "So you don't need our help anymore?" she asked in clear annoyance.

"Could still use it," I said cheerfully. "Nothing dangerous. Just looking for a new home. Or rather a new base. Something tells me you might be good at scouting out a new location."

"What, and tell you what kind of place we look for in a base?" she asked.

"I mean you can say no," I offered. "I'm not pushing anything, but now that the light show's over, I don't mind dialing back my anti-thinker bullshit a little. Might be your best chance to work out what my real plan is," I teased.

"Ugh!" she growled. "Fine."

"Any spot you want to meet at?" I asked. "Also Costume or Civies? I've got a nice suit set aside," I added.

"Are you- UGH! Of course you are," she grumbled, taking a moment to compose herself. "Civies," she said after in a much smoother, almost playful tone. "And the hotel Grue directed you to should be fine."

"Great, see you there at… quarter to nine?" I asked, eyeing the clock on my other phone.

"It's a date," she said in a vaguely threatening faux-friendly tone.

"Looking forward to it!"

Part 2

I arrived early enough to make a quick stop at the Hotel Gift shop before the undersiders showed up. Just a small token of my gratitude.

I'd been curious as to who would show up. I was pretty sure Rachel aka 'Bitch' wouldn't be among them this time. She was still (wrongfully) wanted for murder. If one of her dogs was injured she'd want to prioritize treating them rather than meeting me, and she wasn't exactly a social butterfly among humans to begin with.

Now among dogs, she was social as could be. But unfortunately I wasn't a dog, so her interest in me and my bullshit would be minimal.

It took Lisa all of five seconds to spot me once she got in the door. Which was probably far longer than she liked, though was still impressive given I still had Mask up and running, if as promised, at a lower level.

She really did look different from her Tattletale persona. With her hair up and her domino mask missing, it changed her complexion. The newly revealed freckles offered a softer, and more importantly, differing contrast to the mask. Her bottle green eyes seemed less striking without the black to contrast with. Even the shape of her face seemed different! The lines of her mask and framing of her hair making her face seem wider in her supervillain persona.

Plus, I think she might be an inch shorter in 'civies' mode? The large somewhat baggy shirt and jacket combo also threw off any easy comparison of her figure.

Brian, Aka Grue on the other hand, was a much closer match for his masked self. While the motorcycle leathers had added a little bulk from bodyshape to posture he was a near one to one copy of his cape persona. Which was to say, tall, dark, and powerfully built. Even as he scanned over the room he looked more… Alert. Aware, more than just wary.

It was the sort of look you'd expect from a more experienced fighter. Mercenaries, second term cops, agents. He was obviously missing stuff, but it showed he had the right mindset to survive things suddenly going to shit.

No sign of Alec. Though I'd put even money he was nearby. Like most Masters, his power actually worked best with a fair gap between him and the vanguard. Putting him in an overwatch position would be a reasonable precaution… though he might also just not have shown up.

Lisa pointed me out then approached. "Nice eyepatch," she complemented sarcastically, "Really complements the business suit. Makes you look like you're trying to be taken seriously."

Grue, or rather Brian, visibly restrained himself "Is now really the time?"

"Wanna see what's under it?" I dared her, grinning to show that, yes, it was indeed the time.

Her eyebrows shot up. "That's real?"

"Again, wanna see?" I asked.

"I'm not going to ask," Brian replied.

She rolled her eyes, "Pass. So what was that about dialing back your power? And I know it's a power, not some chunk of tinkertech. Though the PRT thinks you are one."

"I did dial it back," I said. "No more false readings."

"Instead I just hit a big blank wall," she said bluntly. "I appreciate the lack of headache fuel. I guess that's the best I can expect from you. I understand of course, just had to try."

"Oh I'm entirely willing to drop my Mask later," I said. "When we're not being observed by twenty five- oh, twenty six now, different kinds of remote viewing."

That got both their attention. Grue was actually the first to ask, "People are watching us?"

"Probably not looking at us directly," I said. "The count shot well over fifty yesterday, and it cycled around a bit. More than a hundred distinct viewers scanning all together. The ones 'watching' now are probably just things like global range powers, diviners, that sort of thing. Still, given how many of them might be interested in me if I fall into their view, I'm not taking my chances."

"Yeah, no shit," Lisa said, feigning confidence, though by the way she'd suddenly paled I could tell I'd shaken her a little.

"Here," I said, handing her the box I'd bought at the gift shop.

"Chocolate. Really?" she said looking at the box like it was something between a venomous snake and a bag of rotting garbage.

"It has documented stress relieving effects," I said helpfully. "I'll taste test if you want."

"I'll take your word for it," she said dryly.

"We should get moving," Brian suggested. "Assuming you did actually want to find a place, and this wasn't some excuse for you to freak us out while awkwardly flirting."

"Hey now," I frowned. "My flirting isn't that awkward," I lied through my teeth.

"Ugh," Lisa said.

"Van's this way," Grue said, directing us to what was clearly some kind of rental.

"So," Lisa started

I tilted my head holding up a finger as I drew out my phone, typing quickly. 'Is the microphone yours?'

"Goddamn it, did you take the whole bag!?" Lisa demanded.

"More emptied the store," I argued. "Though I couldn't afford too many upgrade packages unfortunately," I added cheekily. "Should I take that as a yes?"

Brian looked knowingly at Lisa, who reached under her seat to pull out an old school analogue magnetic tape recorder.

"We get it, your powers are bullshit." She frowned. "You meant what you said though. You bought your powers somehow. Everyone's heard the rumors. No, that doesn't make sense, you don't run a global conspiracy by being that obvious."

"Was the recorder your idea or Coil's?" I asked in turn.

"Coil?" Brian asked.

"Of course you know about him," she grumbled. "Better than wearing a wire."

"Yeah, that was the smarter move," I agreed. "Or at least a lot less awkward. Did I also mention I can hand out lesser copies of a lot of my powers? I actually am a tinker of a sort, though it's probably closer to a trump effect," I said.

"Sure, just ignore me," Brian grumbled, shifting the car out of park.

"What the fuck do you want?" Lisa demanded.

"That's a long and complex story," I said. "Which I'll actually happily share. Once we've got a building I can rig up to actually keep our conversations private," I elaborated.

"You know what? That's the least crazy thing you've said since we've met today," Brian said.

I wondered idly how long Lisa would last before interjecting again.

The answer, surprisingly, was almost a full ten minutes. "So how'd you lose the leg?" she asked.

"Godammit Lisa. Do you remember what happened with Spitfire?" he asked her.

"That one's actually not dangerous to say," I noted. "Vampire," I added as an answer.

"It bugs you a lot less than the eye does," she asserted.

"It does," I confirmed. "It'll grow back eventually. The eye? Not so much."

"Ouch," she said without a lick of apparent sympathy.

"You're cute when you're vicious." I teased

Her nose scrunched up again, "ugh."

"So why us?" Brian asked. "If you can answer that. You're some big shot right? And not from here. If you didn't want attention you could leave town. With your kind of power you slum with or throw down with the big names. Why stay in the shittest city in America? Why come to us of all gangs?"

"Okay, some of that has to wait," I said. "But for 'why you'? Simple. I have options, sure, but none of those other options include our lovely Lisa here!" I teased.

"Die please," the villainess in question requested..

"More seriously… A friend of mine always told me when entering a new place? Get a local guide," I explained. "And while I joke about it? Lisa's actually really good for that, and it's not like the rest of you are chump change either. More importantly, you're not Nazis. You've only got the bare minimum of strings attached to you by other big corrupt powers. The odds of you betraying me are pretty limited.. And again, You Are Not Nazis. What the fuck is wrong with this place that I need to make that a qualifier to find reliable allies here?"

"You want that alphabetically or categorically?" Brian asked.

"You know? If you actually listed it all off, I would be pretty grateful?" I said. "Like I said. Looking for a local guide."

"You're going to regret saying that," Lisa said.

"Well, in that case," Brian started up.

I did not, in fact, regret it. I did regret coming to this cursed city in this even more cursed world. But to be forewarned was to be forearmed.

Besides, Grue's following rant about the Empire, the ABB, Mayor Christner, the apparently hopelessly corrupt health and sanitation board, the comically corrupt tax revenue office, the 'pointedly selective' local law enforcement policies, and of course, how overpriced the local excuse for coffee was.

"I actually noticed that," I said. "I was kind of hoping it was just the one shop."

"Try four out of five on a good day," he said. "You either brew at home after finding a guy who can get you the good stuff from Boston, or you learn to love tea."

Lisa stuck her tongue out at that.

"Man, that's rough as hell Brian," I said. "I'm… honestly not sure how much of that I can help-"

"I never told you my name," he said suddenly.

"Told you," Lisa shot to him. "He knew my name too."

"Yeah, sorry, Thinker bullshit," I said apologetically.

"You know there are rules about that shit?" the professional villain asked, looking more irritated about the violation of those rules than what the implications of me knowing their names actually were.

"Which… literally none of the local powers follow," I noted.

"It's a matter of degree, of at least keeping up the illusion of civility. Rules are important, even if people break them," he argued.

"Okay, fair, fair" I held up my hands defensively. "Like I said, I apologize. I realize that doesn't make up for the offense entirely- here, let me clarify something. My name is Tarn," I added. "I haven't finished throwing together a civilian ID yet, but when I finish I'll let you know that too."

"Not very local," Lisa said in a singsong voice.

"I'll let things slide this time," Brian stressed. "Here," he said, coming to a stop in front of a…

Boarded up theater?

Huh, I was expecting a warehouse or something but… this worked too!

We got out of the rental car, and walked up to the abandoned building.

"Yeah, this could work," I said, appraising the place. The outside looked pretty dilapidated, to the point I saw half painted-over Teeth gang signs. The Teeth being a gang who hadn't operated in Brockton in well over a decade.

"The foundation's still solid," Brian said. "The property's owned by some holding company with a few dozen other scattered places throughout town, but I've never seen anyone come to inspect it. The Insides are covered with dust thick enough to leave footprints in," he added.

"That sounds about perfect," I agreed looking it over. "Front's boarded up- the fire exit?" I guessed.

"Got it in one," Lisa said in faux awe, over my amazing deduction.

"Give me the grand tour?" I asked. "More seriously… I need to pick out which rooms to lock down against outside divination."

Lisa narrowed her eyes at me, but Grue just walked us to the fire escape, which, despite being a one way door, was easily opened with a small slim slat of wood he probably had for exactly that purpose.

"Interesting house key," I noted.

"It does the job," he replied, opening up the door to the actual theater room.

My phone buzzed, and as I reached into my pocket I found not just it, but also-

I grinned. "Yeah like I said, this seems about perfect! And hey, I promised answers right?" I asked them.

"Didn't you need to 'set the room up' first?" Lisa asked sardonically, though with a new edge in her voice.

"Oh yeah, I still need to do that to talk safely here," I confirmed walking up the isles to the door. "Buuuut, there's also another option!"

"What sort of other option?" Brian asked, clearly approaching the limits of his tolerance.

Hopefully not approaching them too fast mind you. I still had a few more big displays.

I looked around the doors to the front entrance, which were simple push bars before turning to look to the side and- "Aah!" A locked door up to the projector.

Pulling the shiny new key from my pocket, I slid it into the keyhole and turned it, opening the door in the dimensional fabric of the universe to my shiny new island on the sea of time!

Which was everything I'd hoped for! A large, clearly militarily inspired command and control room (or maybe just a very fancy meeting room). Complete with a large round hologram table, a bunch of random seeming TV screens hanging from above. The long ominously professional looking hallways! Rafters! Terminals! Four naked ladies in transparent tubes, one of which clearly another Lisa!

Wait, what.

Part 3

I slammed the door shut. "Right, so! It's going to take me about twenty minutes to secure the room!"

For some reason, Brian and Lisa did not look like they wanted to wait twenty minutes. In fact, Brian looked like he might not want to wait twenty seconds, going by the way he was already leaking out darkness.

"Tarn. What the fuck!?" She started calmly before suddenly screaming.

I sighed, reaching up and rubbing at my forehead. "Okay, not out here." I stressed. "I am willing to explain. You can leave, I'm not stopping you," I outlined quickly. "If you want me to explain, you can wait out here as I set things up. Or you can come inside- Just… give me half a second to throw up some curtains or something."

I glanced back inside and-

The pods were draining.

The pods were draining!

"Fuck." I uttered then slammed the door shut again.

"Fuck," Lisa repeated. "Why fuc- they're waking up already." She said. "You made, no, you'd have known. Bought? A clone of me? Why would they clone me?" she asked. "And none of the rest of them looked like anyone I've heard of."

"You're not waiting twenty minutes are you," I groaned.

"I think we've waited long enough," Brian, or rather Grue, said, smoke wrapped around his head in an improvised helmet.

I gave him an unimpressed look. "Don't escalate." I 'suggested' flatly. "Right now, you've got questions and concerns. I have answers and options. But I have my own concerns. I'm not holding you here. So I repeat. You can let me set up precautions against those concerns. Join me inside once I've assured those inside have nothing further to be concerned about. Leave. Or, I suppose, try and force me to do something else. Wouldn't advise that last one."

"And you'll just let us go, just like that?" Lisa asked.

"Sure, why not?" I asked her. "Letting you go without a fight, gives me another chance to convince you on another day, after talking with the people inside," I nodded to the door. "Well, unless you vanish on me. I won't come looking if you do," I reassured/threatened.

"And if we want reassurances of our own?" Grue asked, somewhat mollified.

Meanwhile Tattletale tensed at the reminder of just who was waiting for a report about this meeting.

"Again, I am happy to wait," I said. "The longer this takes, the longer those inside have time to get decent. Or do anything else your paranoia might warn you about."

"Alright!" Lisa called out. "One second," she grumbled, rubbing at her temple, closing her eyes for a moment.

I raised an eyebrow, but went ahead and gave her the requested moment, keeping an eye on Grue's positioning to see if he was going to charge or not.

Brian, for his part, simply shifted his weight.

After a little more than a literal second, Lisa's eyes snapped back open. "You didn't know about the pods," she asserted, pointing at me accordingly. "You're less focused on making a deal now that you've learned about them, which means you thought I was the clone? No," she stopped, then corrected herself. "-you knew you were working with a Tattletale, just not which Tattletale," she deduced. "That explains a lot," she asserted.

I nodded, making no denial of that.

"But" she continued. "You're… Not worried about us escaping and telling anyone. You're powerful enough to capture us with force, but you want to work with us still. Two Tattletale's are better than one right?"

"The rest of your gang's also a good catch as recruits or allies," I reminded her. "Admittedly, recruiting you is more of an opportunity than anything planned in advance."

"Despite you having bullshit powers, and apparently friends who can clone people," she grumbled. She looked at Grue, "We should go inside with him."

"What?" her teammate asked.

"He could be lying, but it doesn't make sense at this point," she said. "Nothing about this asshole makes sense, but right now? We're completely over the barrel, and the only reason he's not fucking us, is because he either dosn't want to, or wants to ask permission first."

"And you want to give him permission?" Brian asked dubiously.

"Not literally!" she argued. "I hope," she added, looking over at me.

"Not without express permission," I replied with a cheeky smirk. "Like you said. Forcing it is not my kink."

"You don't mind coercion though," she accused.

I shrugged. "I mind less, on a case by case basis. I'm certainly not going to suggest sexual favors as part of any payment plan though," I said more seriously. "Again, not my kink. I just respect the right for people to 'sell themselves' if it is theirs. Or if they don't have any other options."

"Like you did," Lisa said, and for once, she actually looked like she regretted spitting out the first observation to flash past her mind.

I looked at her flat face. "Yes," I confirmed. "Like I did." Turning the key/knob again I opened the door to my Island on the Sea of Time once more and looked inside checking to see how the pod people were doing.

They were up and looking around, some covering up with their hands, some not bothering, all had turned to my direction when I opened the door.

"Hello," I said, having looked away once I got their status, both for decency's sake and more importantly to keep my eye on the two locals. "Sorry to spring this on you with you just waking up, but we've got some guests. If you can't get decent in under a minute I'd suggest heading into one of the other rooms."

As one might predict, Tube Lisa was the first to speak up, "Who's out there with him?"

"It looks like… another you? And some guy I'm having a hard time seeing," Another of the people inside said, her voice tensingly at the last bit, as if it wasn't normal.

Which, probably said something given she'd have to look through both the door and me to do so. Though ironically, the fact I didn't recognize her voice confirmed just who it was for me.

"Tch," said a voice exactly like the prolific actress Cherami Leigh's, in a gruff tone. "Just let them through. If they start problems, I'll end them."

"But it's considered inappropriate to make introductions while naked!" Added someone whose voice was a dead ringer for the slightly less famous voice actress Taylor McNee.

She also sounded like that bit of information came from personal experience.

"Girls, I'm not in danger. Unless you feel like giving Local Lisa, Brian, and I a free show, get covered," I said. "We need somewhere to talk, where you know who won't notice us."

"Which one, the nudist or the cooking club?" Tube Lisa called over.

"Yes," I responded. "Also a couple dozen others I'm less worried about."

"We're clearing out," Kara called back.

"Just give them a few seconds," I said.

"Your powers block out Endbringers?" Lisa said, like this somehow trumped everything else. Which… to be fair. "-I didn't even consider that. You're sure? How are you sure?"

Why was it so hard for people to just wait a few-

Oh right. I was dealing with teenaged supervillains. Expecting them to have the impulse control of a five year old was clearly a bout of momentary insanity on my part.

"Twenty," I said to the pair, "Nineteen, eighteen, seventeen," I listed off, pacing each word at about a second.

"Tattletale!?" Grue asked, alarmed by the sudden countdown.

"-Sixteen, fifteen, thirteen-" I continued as he did, skipping over fourteen.

"I don't-" Lisa started before looking at me in confusion, before her face molded into a look of sheer annoyance.

"-Twelve-"

"He's counting out the seconds to actually make us wait," she explained. "Seriously," she asked.

"-eight, seven, six," I listed in response then held up my hand, all five digits extended, peeling them back one at a time, before turning around and poking my head in the door one last time.

Tube Lisa was standing at the table in a towel she'd somehow pulled out of seemingly nowhere. The other three were gone.

Good enough.

I opened the door and walked in. "Alright, let's get this over with."

Brian looked over at the portal at the other Lisa waiting for us, then over at 'his' Lisa, then back through the portal.

"Hello me," The Company Lisa said with a wide, signature grin as she focused on her native self like a laser, not even glancing in my direction.

Brian looked at me, back to the two of them, then turned his head towards the door for a moment in clear contemplation.

"You can still leave," I offered.

"Too late now!," Lisa said, grabbing his arm and beginning to drag him in, marching in like she had everything to prove.

Which, given it was Lisa she most certainly did.

I winced in momentary sympathy. Poor bastard. Glad I wasn't in his shoes right now!

Part 4

Once they were inside, I closed the door, sealing the pocket dimension off from the rest of Worm, and thankfully cutting the number of unique methods of 'divination' trying to watch us from twenty something to just three.

One sort of supersight prominently featuring 'X-ray vision'. A general 'radar' sense that worked partially off of detecting magic signatures, and what I strongly suspected was just Tattletale's power. But it could also just be the generic 'poke to look at what's happening in hostspace' method since Brian was also in here.

My eyes flicked from Lisa to Lisa, trying to notice the details, and summing them up as 'one is wet and mostly naked'.

Also that she really did look better with her hair down. I mean, I got that she needed to keep it up for costume reasons, but still.

I was pretty sure I knew what happened at this point. When I'd first settled on the agreement that had landed me I had had what I had thought was a clever idea at the time.

-----

"A Tattletale?" Elisth asked, as she laid beside me. A dubious look crossing the elven features of the operations-manager even as she said the name. "Really?"

I wasn't sure where she got off on asking me that, when she was looking just as, if not more, smug than any versions of Tattletale I'd run into in my years working in the arena.

Though, admittedly, that could in part be due to the current circumstances.

"A friend advised me to always get a local guide whenever you can," I said, suppressing any visible signs of my irritation with a mixture of long practice and literal supernatural skill.

Naturally, she saw right through it regardless. If anything, seeing me trying to hide it made her smirk wider. "I think I see where you're going with this… Normally we'd just give you a clone of her from the end of her series, but it'd be no issue to upload a standard framework including her skills and memories into a younger version of her," she said, idly picking up her much fancier company phone from the nightstand, flicking through it with a long practiced hand.

"Following the outlined terms and conditions of the contract right?" I said, watching her movements like a hawk. "I did opt for the advanced matchmaking option." The one that insured I only got someone who'd actually be interested in the position.

She rolled her eyes, "I saw. That's no problem. Tattletales are surprisingly compliant with the right… carrots."

I gave her a dry look.

She ignored it, flicking through a few more things. "Hmm… there, done. You can easily slide into the situation with a fully adapted local, who will pass all the local checks and inspections to help 'guide' you," she assured me, before switching to a predatory grin. "Now… Just how are you going to thank me for my endless generosity?"

Mentally reminding myself I'd signed onto this, and why I'd signed onto this… I smiled, "oh I think I have a few ideas…"

-----

I winced internally.

Thankfully, neither Lisa seemed to notice, both too focused on the other.

"Nice outfit," Local-Lisa said with a mocking smile. "Did it come with the secret base, or with you?"

"Pulled it out of the bathroom," Company-Lisa replied shamelessly, mirroring her expression. "Isn't the worst outfit I've worn to an interview."

Local Lisa's eyes narrowed, "Well that makes one of us."

"That's right," naked-Lisa grinned, plopping an elbow on the table as she traced a line across her smooth, unscarred cheek, "I'm actually a bit more experienced than you at actually being you than you are, despite the fact I very much am the clone. Isn't that wild?"

"Alright!" Brian interjected. "Can we get some explanations now?" he asked, looking at me in a way that made it clear that 'no' was not going to be an acceptable answer, regardless of how outmatched they were.

"Sure," I agreed.

"Oh, can I?" Company-Lisa asked.

I looked at local Lisa, who was, naturally pissed at not getting the last word, "Maybe let me lead off. Feel free to interject," I suggested, knowing both of them would do so anyway.

"Oh, you bet I/we will," both Lisas said, the local one looking even more irritated at her clone at her speaking for both of them.

"Yeah, that's gonna haunt my nightmares," Brian said, while Company-Lisa stuck her tongue out at Local-Lisa, and Local-Lisa flipped Company-Lisa off in response.

I realized I better start talking fast, if only to distract them.

"Right, to elaborate. As you might have already suspected, this is a Doctor Haywire situation. " I said, referencing one of the local mad-tinkerer types. "Except instead of poking a few holes into nearby realities, the people I work with run a large, corporate entity that operates across a wide range of alternate realities. Some similar, some so different their underlining physics aren't strictly compatible with this one."

"We've got adapters for that though," Company-Lisa

"Yes, we do," I said, though I couldn't help but keep a bit of strain off of the 'we'. Even after eleven years of employment, I wasn't exactly super enthused about being part of the 'Slutlife' brand name.

Weirdly, it was more because of the whole 'corporate' thing, and the associated corruption that came with it, then the whole 'sent on a suicide mission' thing, or the crap I saw down in the blood pits of Kaon.

Funny what things people draw their lines about.

"Anyway," I said. "Long story short, and I know I promised you details. I can offer you most but some need to be kept for operational security until you sign on."

"If" Local-Lisa corrected.

"Oh no," Company-Lisa corrected. "You're going to sign on."

And interestingly, she wasn't actually looking all that smug or superior about that.

"Oh, and what's got you so sure about-" Local-Lisa started.

"They'll fix your powers so you can finally enjoy a heated showerhead again," Corporate-Lisa said shamelessly. "Fuck averting the apocalypse, and all the extra superpowers. I would have signed on for that alone. Did, in a 'kinda', kind of way."

Local-Lisa's mouth snapped shut, and she actually blushed. Which was particularly impressive when you considered she hadn't while a naked, moving doppelganger of her was sitting right in front of both her and her teammate.

"O-of fucking course that's what-" she started to respond.

Only for Brian to interrupt her, "Did you just say apocalypse?"

"Yeah that's basically it," I said, seizing that opportunity with both hands. "Can't say who. But someone's going to kick one off in the next two to twenty years give or take," I replied. "The people I work for want me to stop them- or rather they want me to kill them, both so they can strip mine their powers to make various products, and as a political concession to other large, multiversal powers."

Company-Lisa interjected again. "Before you ask, we can't reach out to those other powers, and they probably wouldn't bother to do anything if we did," she said. "This isn't their 'territory', and even the most bleeding hearts of them aren't going to disrupt lasting agreements. The only ones who would want to? Will be even worse than the problem."

"They're corporate scum, but they're leashed and regulated corporate scum." I explained. "Probably not as leashed or regulated as you'd like. But they're still focused more on turning a profit than being dicks for shits and giggles. Saving Earth Bet helps their bottom line."

"Typical," Brian snorted. He'd tensed up at the whole 'end of the world' thing, but had already relaxed again.

"That's assuming we trust anything you say," Local-Lisa argued.

"If you can't trust yourself, who can you trust?" Company-Lisa smirked, smug on full display now.

"I can't help but notice we don't exactly match," Local-Lisa said, which was really weird considering they not only looked alike, but sounded alike. Most actual twins actually tended to instinctively pitch up or down a little relative to each other so their voice was recognizable, but this legit sounded like her talking to herself.

"Oh you mean outside of my upgrades?" Company-Lisa asked. "That's easy. My version of Earth Bet ended in late june of twenty thirteen. Like I said, I'm more experienced than you."

Brian's eyes flicked between the two momentarily confused. An unmasked question building before the local Lisa beat him to the punch, "Oh really? Then why do you look like-"

"That's my bad," I said, raising a hand. "I think a request I made got screwed up, so she ended up de-aged. I thought I was asking them to hire you," I explained.

"They probably just matched my mental template with a physical template that matched her," Corporate-Lisa said, gesturing to the local her. "Plenty of those on file," she added in annoyance.

"Alright," he said, accepting that answer. "But how the fuck does this cloning thing work? What exactly do you mean by being 'on file'?" Brian asked, as was apparently his role in all of this, since Lisa was too busy fighting with herself. "Are we talking mental uploads or..?"

"The Company's got a bunch of cloning techniques," I replied. "Cloned gene samples with mental uploads. Quantium twinning technique. Heck, they basically 3D print some people," it was a common technique for lower tier characters who lacked any exotic qualities. "I'm a clone, originally. Though I was made over a decade ago, and have deviated a lot from my baseline since then."

As I said this, I picked up two entirely new forms of sight looking at us, one right after the other, and pointedly did not look around to find the source of that.

"While I'm the copy of someone who got really desperate after the world started fucking exploding, and made a deal with a shady power to get the hell out of there," Company-Lisa said. "Can't even blame original me. Though if fucking Coil's still alive by the end of the week, he's not going to be," she said with surprising venom.

That, more than anything, actually seemed to ease off the local Lisa's ire towards her.

"Alright, what the fuck is up with Coil?" Brian interjected. "Because his name keeps coming up, and I am not liking the things I'm hearing around it."

Company-Lisa looked at her local self. "You wanna tell him, or should I?"

"Sounds important, mind if we sit in for this part?" Interjected a new voice to the conversation. One I'd only heard once before, a minute or two earlier.

At once all four of us turned to look back towards the door we walked into, or rather one of the hallways behind the (inactive) portal, that door had connected to. Where, standing in a rough triangle position, nearby what I suspected was a bathroom, were the three other women who had come out of the pods along with Company-Lisa.

It could also be a storage room, I suppose, given the three were now (at least partially) dressed, if still pretty wet.

The one standing on the right was a redhead standing at around five five with bright green eyes, wearing a white shirt, green skirt with suspender, black corset and a wide smile. I knew her name to be Penny Polendina. And she was the one who sounded like Taylor McNee.

The young lady to the far left stood about an inch taller, had titanium white hair that hung down to just past her rather generous hips. Sharp blue eyes narrowed in suspicion. And was wearing bicycle shorts and what looked like some sort of partially backless (and transparent) slip/sports-bra combo… and a huge sword-shaped plane of steel that probably outweighed Brian.

Which she was pointing at Brian. And also at Lisa. And most of the table. It was a really big sword.

She was also the one who seemed to have Cherami Leigh as a voice actress.

In the middle of the two was a third blonde, this one with blue eyes. She was wearing a blue shirt, red skirt, boots, and cape, gold highlights on most of that, And an iconic, instantly recognizable red and gold S-shaped emblem worn on her chest. Which, combined with the fact she was hovering a good foot in the air, confirmed her as Kara Zor-El, AKA Supergirl.

She was also the one who's voice I hadn't recognized earlier. And was the one to speak up just now.

"Saaaaalutations!" Penny added with a wave.

"Hello," I said, waving back. "Sorry you had to wake up like this," I apologized.

It was pretty awkward after all.

Part 5

"Alright who?" Brian asked, glancing back towards me and the Lisas, continuing his role as the dedicated questionnaire of this Q & A session.

"Pick which first, introductions, or Coil?" Company-Lisa said, laying down terms.

"Coil," Brian said before Local-Lisa could get a word out, earning a glare from his teammate as he did.

"Coil, as you've probably guessed, is your mysterious employer." I said. "You haven't heard a lot about him at this time. That's by design. He's a puppetmaster. A high-end thinker that likes to stick to the shadows and operate through middlemen, proxies," I noted, nodding towards Company-Lisa.

"Like us," Brian said, not liking what he was hearing.

"Like you," I agreed.

"He uses a lot of methods," Company-Lisa said. "Bribery, blackmail-"

"Putting a gun to your head," Local-Lisa interjected bitterly.

Company-Lisa continued not missing a beat. "-Hostages, protection, the whole nine yards."

"Aisha's his leverage on you," I warned him. "He's going to hold the chance of custody of her as both carrot and stick over you as long as it'll work. Her safety if he needs to step things up a notch. Maybe your dad's if he wants something else. Unmasking you is another threat he won't hesitate to use."

"He unmasked the Empire in my timeline," Company-Lisa said. "Even admitted it. Though only long after the Empire blamed the Undersiders and Protectorate for it."

"Who's Aisha?" Kara asked.

Grue looked at her for a moment, then back to me, before apparently deciding the damage was already done. "My sister."

"He's got leverage on the rest of your teammates as well," I said. "Alec's family. Bitch's shelters. All stress-tested with his power. Which is a weird form of precognition. From his perspective he splits the timeline, lives through both, then picks whichever one he prefers to keep."

"It's a complete bitch to work around," Company-Tattletale admitted. "It's not nearly as all-encompassing as some Thinker powers, but you never know what he's picked up from a throwaway timeline."

"It's weak on defense though," I noted. "Offensively, he can leverage every resource he has in attempt after attempt to make things work, as long as he's not limited in a specific window of time. Defensively? It'll help him know someone's after him a bit in advance, and give him two chances to evade danger, but that's it. Also, because it's precognition and not actually using Schrödinger's bullshit to live two lives simultaneously…"

"It's vulnerable to disruption," Local-Lisa said with a wide, shark-like grin. "You know what? I take back every bad thing I said about your anti-thinker power. Is that part of your little sign-on bonus?" she asked curiously, clearly ready to join right then and there if it was. Despite not knowing what it might cost her.

Ah… I'd underestimated just how much she hated Coil.

"What about his contingencies?" Kara interjected.

Most of the room turned to face her. A2 didn't though. She instead just stood there looking progressively more bored and annoyed.

"You said he's a mastermind type, right?" Kara said. "I'm not sure how that is on this world, but in mine those always have a dozen or more contingencies for someone messing with their plan," she added.

"Not for this," Company-Lisa said. "He's got moles, informants, and wiretaps in all the local powers to keep him informed, but not for us. Technically I'm his primary informant for the Undersiders"

"You mean I am," Local-Lisa interjected.

Company-Lisa rolled her eyes, "You get the point. Outside of a few bugs he doesn't know I know about that I can warn Brian about, he doesn't have an eye or ear on anyone in the room."

"What about the big self-destruct for his base?" I asked her. "I seem to remember that being a thing."

"I could disarm that in my sleep," Both Lisas said dismissively.

"Good, we'll be counting on you to do that," I said, already putting together a plan of attack now that it looked like Local-Lisa was fully onboard.

"Wait, what self destruct?" Brian asked, seeming alarmed again. "And why are we apparently dealing with it right now?"

Local-Lisa rolled her eyes, "Come on Brian, you're smarter than that. We just said Coil's power is a lot stronger on offense than defense."

"You also said he's already able to blackmail us with our identities," He reminded her pointedly. "Say we turn him in. What happens if he releases them out of spite? We should talk about this first!"

"What's there to talk about?" A2 interjected, drawing everyone's attention as she stabbed her massive slab of a sword into the ground…. Something made considerably more intimidating when you realized the end of the huge cleaver wasn't sharpened. "If he's a big problem, just kill'em."

"A2!" Penny scolded. "You can't just say we should kill people!"

"Yeah, they might have useful intel," I snarked reflexively. Then I realized what I said, or rather that I wasn't supposed to just be another smart-mouthed asshole here. "More seriously, that sort of thing is typically frowned on here, but it is an option to consider given the circumstances."

Supergirl shot me a look, visibly reappraising me. "And what circumstances are those?" she asked, in a tone that conveyed a clear 'you get one chance'.

"Well, you know what I'm voting for," Company-Lisa said, looking knowingly at her other self.

Local-Lisa looked at her measuringly for a moment, before turning to me and nodding. "If you deal with him, you've got me. I'll sign whatever you want. Let you use your powers on me. Dance naked under the moon while sacrificing a goat. Whatever."

"We don't sacrifice goats," I said with a sigh. "I only know two spells that even involve blood sacrifice," though admittedly I knew of a lot more.

"As long as it's not me on the slab," she shot back.

I rolled my eyes, "We're not sacrificing anyone. Right," I said before this could go further. "I think we've about hit the next part. Introductions," I said looking around for any disagreement.

"Salutations!" Penny immediately stepped up. "My name is Penny Polendina. Originally from Atlas Academy. Assigned to the city of Mantle as its protector!"

I nodded to the redhead giving her a relieved smile of gratitude at the volunteered information. "Penny's a Huntress from a world called Remnant. It's a lovely place except for the unending tides of untiring, superhuman murderbeasts called Grimm," I explained. "The humanity of her world is largely restricted because of them to a small number of heavily guarded shield cities. They have smaller village settlements, and the occasional attempt at expansion outside of naturally fortified locations, but they… Don't exactly last long."

Penny turned to look at me, "Is that not the case here?"

"Nope," I confirmed. "Their moon's intact too. No huntsmen either. No one knows how to use aura, but some people have what's effectively semblances. Some of them as, or more, multifaceted than Specialist Schnee's, and a number of them more than powerful enough to make them serious combat threats even without aura."

"That sounds absolutely amazing!" the Gynoid girl said. "But… no…" her face gradually fell, looking to the side as she considered things. "From the way you were speaking. I have to assume many of these individuals are criminals." Her eyes lit up. "However! Without needing to worry about a buildup of negative emotions drawing Grimm! Long term incarceration and rehabilitation would become much more practical!"

Local-Lisa looked at her weirdly. "How can someone be that smart, and that naive?" she asked.

"You don't want to know," her more experienced self said. "You've going to learn, but you won't want to know," she said bluntly.

The clothed Tattletale shot her a look at that, "We'll see."

"Penny's world is also more optimistic generally," I said. "At least on a cultural level. It's probably a survival mechanism. Grimm hone in on negative emotions, so being too much of a downer legitimately damages the odds of survival not just for you, but everyone around you." Pessimism, or even excessive 'realism', could literally get you killed in those circumstances. Rose-tinted glasses actually improve your odds of survival, simply by helping you draw less agro.

"Her world's not the most optimistic out of all of yours though," I said, nodding over at Supergirl.

She looked surprised. "Me? My world is the optimistic one?" she asked, dubious.

"Wait," Company-Lisa interjected. "That's real!? I thought she just had a poor taste in costumes!" she looked almost giddy at the prospect.

Local-Lisa didn't get the joke, despite her world diverging well after Superman, and even Supergirl's comics had come into existence… Which I personally believed just helped highlight exactly how much of a shithole of a world this was.

It was a good sign that Company-Lisa recognized her though. Penny and A2 hadn't, so I could only assume that meant Lisa would normally run into some trace of the man of steel in the next two years.

And speaking of Kryptonians… "Yeah, I hate to say it, but your world is probably the nicest one to live in out of everyone's here." I said. Which was actually true, depending on how you viewed what you'd define as 'my' world, given my somewhat mixed-up origin.

"My world exploded," she reminded me bluntly.

"Still better than some of them," I said. "But you know what I mean. Your Earth. The one where the heroes actually win at the end of the day. Where good triumphs over evil. Where things actually get better."

She looked at me like that, several very complicated motions playing over her face for a moment. "How bad are we talking here?" she asked, the vast bulk of her potential hostility messing away. "Justice Lords? Crime Syndicate?"

"Mix them together in a juicer and add three parts depression," I said. "The world is going to shit. The leadership, both government and superhuman, is completely subverted and corrupt. The conspiracy in charge is well-intended, but entirely in the 'ends justify the means' camp, and running without enough understanding or expertise to run their job. They might also be subverted, though I'm not sure about that. I'm legitimately not sure if they're actually helping or just causing more damage on the macro scale of things."

Company-Lisa snorted, but didn't comment. She didn't look smug, if anything she just looked… sad, maybe even uncertain.

Which, naturally scared the living fuck out of Local her. Who at this point seemed to accept that she was who she said she was, "Wait, what do you mean about that?"

"We'll get into the cooking club later," I said. "They're not relevant in the short term. And, unless you can block thinkers, knowing too much about them is literally hazardous," I looked at Brian.

He… did not look happy, at all. He also looked out of his depth. Just shaking his head and raising his hands. "I'm not going to complain. I'm not even going to ask. This is so far outside of what I expected today I'm not sure I even want to remember this."

"Probably the more sane choice," I said to him before turning back to address the general table. "But yeah. Society's breaking down, both economically and socially. Governments are losing their grip on the monopoly of force, if they haven't collapsed or ended up usurped in some way already. There's a number of escalating threats that range from regional, to multiversal. And of the four closest things they have to a symbol of hope in this world? Three are an outright lie," I said to Supergirl specifically.

Naturally, she did not look happy. At the same time, she also looked a lot less outraged than her cousin probably would be. She was the pragmatic one of the family after all, and the one who had grown up in a xenophobic, highly advanced alien civilisation. If anything this place probably more closely fit her childhood image of what a 'primitive' world should be like.

"Look, I'm not saying kill Coil lightly. In your world, I probably wouldn't even bring up the idea," I said with a shrug.

"What!?" both Lisas asked, flicking their eyes to each other "Why?" The local one asked.

"That's how things work best in her world," I said with a shrug. "Like I said. It's optimistic. Heroes don't kill unless they absolutely have to, and sometimes not even then. And because heroes hold to that higher standard… somehow the rest of the world ends up pulled closer to that standard." For all the 'just kill the Joker' arguments out there… It had been repeatedly observed that a harsher approach rarely actually improved things, tending to actually spark downward spirals to totalitarianism, rapid social decay, and a general negative turn to the reality in question.

Once again, due to the nature of that world specifically, the seemingly less pragmatic approach actually tended to be the more effective one.

Company-Lisa bunched up her eyebrows. "You're seriously telling me- oh, of course it works like that somewhere."

"To be fair, you'd be biased," I said. "This world swings in the opposite direction. In this reality, things trend to more negative results than the multiversal average."

"Yeah, that tracks," Brian said. "We've known Bet was a shithole since we ran into Earth Aleph."

I tilted my head. "More like the bad side of town. There's a lot worse places in the multiverse." Like I said, at least it wasn't Marvel. "The place I came from was arguably more dangerous. Though it hadn't begun to really hit decay yet."

"Alright, fine, but that's other places, why even think of sparing Coil here?" Local-Lisa asked.

"Outside of moral stuff? Not a lot," I admitted. "The man's a complete fucking monster. Not the worst monster in the Bay, but he's also incredibly hard to contain, and has the sort of connections where he could potentially walk free, regardless of the crap he's already pulled, nevermind the stuff he's planning."

The Company version of Lisa sucked in a breath, "But."

"He's had his power for a while now, long enough to see several Endbringer fights, and never realized the real nature of it," I said. Outlining the sole pragmatic reason to let Coil retain his breathing privileges.

Both Lisas immediately caught on. "You think his power works on Endbringers," Company-Lisa said.

"Who the fuck cares," Local-Lisa asked, though not with nearly as much conviction as she normally did.

"You haven't fought one yet. News flash, I ended up running into all three."

Local-Lisa's eyes actually contracted in fear at that. "You're kidding me."

"I wish. Plus three more that show up later." Company-Lisa warned her. "I actually ended up needing to play translator for the angel of madness at one point."

Local-Lisa leaned back.

"Yeah… the situation ended up pretty fucked up," I said. "Hence. A pragmatic reason for sparing Coil."

She didn't look happy at that, but didn't complain. As this was Lisa, that alone spoke volumes enough.

"To be clear, I'm also not saying let him run free," I added to her. "The Birdcage is a thing. That place can hold him," his power was strong on the offense, but not nearly as much as some of the villains it successfully held. "He also wouldn't enjoy it, and would definitely end up someone's bitch in there, if not fairy food. Either way, it'd leave his power as a future tool to use if humanity ends up needing it."

Which was a very Cauldron thing to say, I knew. But also wasn't outright letting the fucker run free to cause as much havoc as he pleased, trying to become a new age king.

Supergirl frowned, "What do you mean by Fairy Food?"

"The fuck's a Endbringer?" A2 asked at the same time.

"I would also like an explanation about what this 'Birdcage' is please?" Penny asked politely.

I looked at Company-Lisa. "You want this or should I?"

She tilted her hand to the side dismissively. "You've been on a roll so far. Don't expect me to let any mistakes slip through." She added, trying not to look distracted.

She failed utterly though, because the Local her was clearly weighing her options, and I could use her as a good enough baseline to tell she was doing the same.

"Right," I said, deciding to just go ahead and give them the time to do that. "So. Birdcage first, because Penny said please. Simplifying things. The Birdcage is the super-rated jail in this world. There are others that claim to be able to hold capes. Some that even can do so for a while. But the Birdcage is the one with the reliable track record. It does this with a multifaceted layer of fairly extreme defenses, including isolating the entire prison in vacuum. Dimensionally displacing it to throw off most teleporters. And making the only access point one way. If I remember correctly, there are some residents inside who were actually later proven innocent. They can't extract them. Once someone's locked in the birdcage, they stay locked in."

"Officially," Company-Lisa said.

"Minus the ones that die," Local-her added.

"Yes, officially, minus the ones killed inside," I confirmed. "There are naturally unofficial ways to pull people out. Its real purpose isn't to rehabilitate, more just… store people. Keep them out of the way where they're not disruptive, but still exist if the conspiracy in charge needs them later," I admitted. "It also serves as a deterrent. But it can hold Capes effectively. Someone like Coil? He's clever, but not that clever, and his power is good, but not at the level that would let him actually gain power among the monsters exiled in there."

Penny blinked, "Oh! That sounds more like a penal colony."

"Or a waste of time," A2 argued. "Are these guys even worth that kind of effort?"

"Cauldron thinks so," Company-Lisa said with a shrug. "Some of them held up decently in the final fight," she said, through the admittance seemed to annoy her.

Supergirl sighed, "And that's the best we've got?"

"That could actually hold him?" I asked. "Pretty much. Well, I could probably rig up a stasis pod of sorts, but it wouldn't really be any more humane. Better than the Phantom Zone, but arguably worse than the Birdcage proper."

"I could settle for him in the Birdcage," Company-Lisa agreed, though it clearly pained her to do so. "He'll probably end up fairy-food anyway," she added to Local-her.

"Still waiting for an answer on that," Supergirl reminded me.

"Right," I nodded. "Short answer. One of the residents of the Bird Cage? Effectively a non-magical necromancer. She pokes people with the local brand of superpowers. Kills them instantly if they're alive, and 'harvests' a ghost of them whether they are living or dead. The Ghost still has the original cape's powers, and she can manifest three of them at the same time."

Biran shivered, "Glaistig Uaine. The fairy queen. Also known as the cape Boogieman."

"She's not indiscriminate, but when people fuck around with her, they do find out," I said seriously. "I could see Coil thinking he could get away with manipulating her using his power…. And her noticing with the many many Thinker powers she has on demand." Coil was that kind of stupid after all. While he'd managed an amicable relationship with other thinkers like Accord, he only did so by keeping to separate territory.

Shoved into the same space, competing for the same resources? No question, he'd try his luck, and pay the price.

"That I could settle on," Local-Lisa agreed.

Kara didn't look happy, but didn't protest further. I could already tell she'd be investigating on her own once she got out of here.

"Endbringers?" She asked, bringing up A2's question.

"Local monsters," I responded. "Nasty ones. Each one's a serial city killer. Behemoth. Also known as the Hero Killer. He's a dynakinetic with a 'kill aura' that fries everyone within a certain range of him. They nuked him once, that just gave him more ammo. Fights involving him have the highest attrition rate among heroes. More than one out of four people who fight Endbrigners in general end up dying. On a good day. And that's combatants, not factoring in collateral. Your average cape's

Part 6

The exposition continued for a considerable chunk of time. There was a lot of stuff to cover after all! Kara's alien origin and stupidly OP abilities. A2's world, its history and her own nature. The rest of the shitshow that was Earth Bet, and a few other personal details.

In the short term though? The most important parts were those opening bits about Coil, and exactly why he needed to be dealt with ASAP.

Step one was simple. Call up my handler.

"Hello Tarn. Calling already? I thought you'd spend more time with your new companions," she drew out knowingly.

"Hello, Ayla," I replied. "We're taking a quick break right now. In our meeting. Which is a mission briefing. Featuring the introduction of potential local allies. Namely Brian Laborn, and Lisa Wilbourn."

"Oh, you found her already?" The dusky elf asked curiously. "That's certainly showing initiative! I have to say, I was surprised when I saw her on your assets list."

"I mean the local Lisa Wilbourn." I specified.

"Yes?" she responded. "Wasn't that the plan?"

"I thought I was recruiting the local Tattletale," I explained.

"But you didn't grab the 'Native' insertion package," she said, confused. "I'm seeing some customization orders… nothing about interactions with the local copy."

"No notes for it from Elisth about it?" I asked. I had made clear to her I'd wanted Lisa in part for ease of infiltration.

"Just some customisation options," she replied. "You know, you wouldn't have to worry about any mixups like this if you'd just come to me directly from the start," she said.

"Noted," I sighed. "It's fine. In a lot of ways this is actually advantageous. I just hadn't expected the local Lisa to not be under contract when I first contacted her. It worked out this time, but…"

"That's why you double check," she scolded, further.

"Point. I could have reread the contract with you after the transfer," I sighed.

"That's what my job is for," she reminded me. "That said. Look on the brightside!"

"Which brightside?" I questioned.

"Twins, Basil," she stressed. "Twins."

I snorted.

"Right," I said. "Any other mixups? I'm not feeling particularly magically brilliant at the moment," I noted.

"You'll need to pop in for the perk installations," she said. "We don't have the remote rigging for legacy content this old. Want me to book that in?"

"As soon as possible," I replied.

"Well, I can get the Unity thread ready in a couple hours," she said. "The ladies down at Shroud production still use a lot of the same equipment. The engines are going to take longer. Can probably do the Talent- I mean the Brilliances at the same time."

"And the Defenses?" I asked, viewing those as the most important.

"Already up and running," she said. "If you want I can already greenlight your official companions with it. The locals will need to wait for the Unity thread though," she warned.

"Do so, please and thank you," I replied.

"I'll drop you a message as things become available," she offered.

"Thank you again," I repeated.

"All part of the job," she replied smugly. "See you when the pod's warmed up."

"See you then." I replied, before hanging up.

With those assurances in place, and me now having some time to kill while Brian and the local Lisa needed to wait here. I set down to start 'arming' for the upcoming challenges ahead.

Namely, enchanting a few 'quick and dirty' Mask items for everyone. User locked, multi-setting, with a three stage switch for 'on, block, spoof' for blocking, and 'alert/mute' on the observation awareness feature, since I knew from personal experience that shit got distracting.

The knowledge of just how many things were watching you at any given moment also often helped fuel a sense of paranoia. Even if you knew the probable source of said observations. There were times where ignorance was bliss

I also tailored the cards specifically to disrupt shard/biology/technology based observation with an intentional blindspot to magic in case I needed to track the things down later.

Each took the form of a somewhat simple metallic 'card', of blood conjured, hand shaped nickel/silver, etched to have a vaguely 'key-card/circuit-board' look, and with a clearly engraved 'KRT-MSK' followed by a serial number (starting after seven, and skipping nine for lulz).

Each one took me about half an hour to make. Would have barely taken more than half of that if I'd had proper tools and materials, but I hadn't searched my shiny new base to find those yet, and wasn't sure how long that would take.

In the time I spent doing all of that, Company-Lisa went back to the rooms to finally get dressed. A2 and Penny likewise doubled back to finish getting dressed, and Kara chatted with Lisa and Brian on the absolute shithole of a world I had dragged them onto since, being a Kryptonian, she needed all of a literal second to get dressed.

Once that was done, they set out into the world, with Company-Lisa acting as tour guide to personally go see what sort of absolute shithole of a world I had dragged them onto. Also probably to confirm some of things we'd covered earlier. Or possibly just see the unbroken moon on a night sky in Penny and A2's case.

As for Brian and Lisa? They mostly… sat back and decompressed. At least while I stepped away for my little phone call. They still had questions, and ran them by Kara, and later me when I got back, but they clearly needed some time to rethink their plans now that their entire situation had changed.

Once the trio of less-to-not superfast ladies were properly clad however, that changed. With Penny, Company-Lisa and Kara all heading outside to go get a view of the world outside (Kara blurring back and coming back in civis), while Brian, Local-Lisa and I stayed behind, A2 watching them because, to be painfully blunt. She didn't trust them yet.

"So this is magic," the sole remaining Lisa in the base asked. "Like, actual magic magic."

"Yep," I replied, looking down at the cooling mold before me. The same one I'd cast the others from. "Before you ask. Your multiversal cluster does have a form of magic, but no one on Bet uses it, and I'm not sure if it even works here. Sometimes, you get magic use in isolated packets. Particularly if it's the kind that draws from external sources."

"Oh, the Adepts are going to love you," she said dryly. "Or maybe hate you if you insist that that means their powers aren't magic."

Brian was listening, but playing less of an active role this time. Instead, he was waiting for the others to come back. Notably, the other Lisa and some stuff she had apparently stashed away relevant to Coil's dirt on him specifically.

"I mean, in a sense, you could call them magic. They're still strange powers that draw on otherworldly forces that operate outside the understanding of modern science," I argued, while focusing on the potential item before me. Judging that the newest 'blank' was ready and cracking it out of the mold, I'd poured it in… before hitting said broken mold with Mending once it was free. Restoring it for reuse later.

Very handy trick there. At advanced levels you could actually use it to 'repair' emptied guns and batteries. A point I wasn't at yet, unfortunately.

"Yeah, but they still run on science," she argued. "If they didn't, the fact your stuff is actual magic wouldn't have mattered," she asserted.

"If you wanna be strict about it? Sure," I said, finally getting down to the engraving part. Each card was unique. There were certain necessitated repetitions due to the runic nature. But due to their personalized nature, the individualized parts were just as vital for that.

Admittedly, in both cases, nowhere near to the extent I was actually loading things down with, but that was for highly pragmatic, masking reasons. Making them at least seem like some sort of tinkertech. Which, again, someone could argue they actually were.

Yep. Entirely pragmatic. No chuuni reasons behind the design at all.

"What, you're really going to say it doesn't matter? You? The world's currently one and only wizard?" Lisa teased..

"I'm not a purist," I dismissed, as I returned to carving patterns into the card, carefully scooping up the excess material. "One way to conjure a fireball is as good as the next most of the time. It only really matters when the mechanics of how it works can be leveraged to either shut it down, enhance its effect, or let it work when other methods wouldn't. Which admittedly, does make it important when Trump powers come into play."

"I can respect that," Brian said, looking over from where he'd been sitting.

"Aww, don't you wanna 'show all the pretenders' just a little bit?" Lisa teased further.

"Maybe a little." I wouldn't mind a dramatic turnaround the first time I did end up running into a power negator or the like. Could be a fun moment to ham things up. "For the moment though. The most important part of my powers being magic is that it makes it easier for me to share them."

A careful pinch to the side. Shave off a bit of external material. Leave a thickened 'rail' at the end to clip the switch onto. Luckily, magic could take the part of the locking mechanism, so I didn't need to worry about making a spring/notch system to keep the switch in place on each setting.

"Speaking of that!" Lisa's lit up. "When do we start with the real stuff?" she asked, clicking the card to 'off'.

"Once we have some spare time, after I check in with my mission handler," I said, now taking the excess material from the card to make the actual switch. Ball and heat, mix it together, pancake and fold until smooth, cut off the excess then fold over. Add some notches on the side for easy grip. Simple as cake. "It's not going to be quick to learn though. Mastering a cantrip the long way is thousands of hours of work. It can take months, years if you halfass it. And that's for each cantrip. Though I'll try and help with your training where I can."

"Good luck with that," Brian grunted. "I've been trying to get her to pick up basic self defense since I joined."

"This is this, and that's that," Lisa argued.

The portal formed into a door, swinging open as all three of our missing comrades walked in.

"We've got a lot of work ahead of us," Kara said, not looking happy, but fully determined regardless.

"Coil called," Company-Lisa said. "The power spoofing is really freaking him out, though he's trying to hide it. He wants a meeting to find out how things went."

Local-Lisa's eyebrows shot up. "In person?" a grin began to cross her face.

"Of course he wants it in person!" Company-Lisa replied, beaming the same grin right back at her.. "After all, I told him I could throw together a full report tomorrow, once I had time to decompress and sort out everything. I even offered to give him a full written report. How rude."

Brian shook his head. "How the hell did this Coil guy ever end up running things?

"Bravado, a solid starting position and the ability to lie through his teeth," I said. "Not the first guy who's managed it, even without factoring in powers."

Both Lisas shot me a look. Not liking any sort of praise in the snakes direction.

I shrugged. "I might hate the guy, but that doesn't mean I'm going to dismiss his strengths." That was a quick way to underestimate your opposition, which was an even quicker road to getting killed.

"So, what, are we finally done waiting?" A2 asked.

"I've still got some work to do-" I started, only for my phone to ping. "-After heading back to the office. We can head out once I get back," I suggested.

"Coil's not going to wait," Company-Lisa warned me.

"It shouldn't take long. The Company uses relative time compression to speed these things up," I argued. "If you have to go, go, but don't put yourself in danger just for an opening. We can always track him down after."

"Right, more waiting," A2 said, rolling her eyes.

"Can we go with you?" Penny questioned. "I'm curious about the company facilities!"

I raised an eyebrow, "Sure? That… shouldn't be a problem. It'll probably be a lot more boring than you think though," I warned her.

"I love boring things!" she assured me.

"Any chance I can get in on that?" Local-Lisa asked.

"Bad idea," Company-Lisa, Kara, Penny, and I all said at once.

Before looking over at A2

"What?" the android asked. "She talks too much," she said bluntly.

"I can arrange a tour after we've drawn up some sort of contract," I suggested to the local supervillainess. "Even just a basic visitor one. Without one of those, you'd technically be an invader at a high value Company facility which… Let's just say the security measures can be aggressive," I warned.

"How bad are we…" Local Lisa started before trailing off as she looked at the Company clone of her. "You know what? I can wait," she said at once.

"Smart call," I said as I walked up to the portal, and with a swipe of my phone, overrode the door to Earth Bet to one to Ayla's office.

"Haha," she shot back sardonically. "Make sure you bring one of those visitor permits when you come back!" she said.

"I'll see what I can do!" I said back before passing through the door with Penny.

I already knew she was not going to like what was involved with the visitor contracts.

Part 7

Ayla looked like she normally did. Which was to say, smug, artificially peppy, and beaming standard issue customer service smile number six.

Or you know, like an elf gone Corpo.

"Salutations!" Penny said in her normal friendly manner, beaming an equally artificial, but somehow also genuine smile back at her. "My name is Penny Polendina! I am a registered companion of Slutlife Agent Tarn!"

"A pleasure to meet you," Ayla said. "Will you be staying throughout the procedure?"

"If at all possible!" The red-haired gynoid said.

"Penny's interested in the facility," I said. "If there's a ten cent tour for visitors she could check out during the boring parts, I'd consider it a personal favor."

Alya locked onto me with the intensity of a shark smelling blood, "The public tour?" she asked with a hint that something otherwise might be on the table.

"That'd do," I nodded. "We're not asking to see any sort of corporate secrets or anything."

"Lisa Willbourn (Local) has also expressed interest in seeing how the company operates!" Penny beamed.

Ayla winced. "That's… trickier. She still has an active connection to the entity shard?" she asked me for confirmation.

"I don't have that kind of magic." Yet. "If you just give me the standard contract, I can point out the conflicts for her."

"Encouraging her to take up alternative options, that will simplify things." Ayla's smile turned just a bit more predatory. "I'll include the request form for detached sanitisation of that sort of uplink, and a list of the medical warnings that come with signing an anti-memetic backed NDA while maintaining an active patronage connection."

Which could get nasty. Shards weren't even the worst about it. The deities of some clerics would go to rather extreme measures once they realized there was some nugget of memory in one of their followers they could no longer access. It got even worse when they failed in their initial attempts to 'crack open' the memory block and started getting… Frustrated.

"Probably not needed, she's already expressed an interest in signing up," I said.

"Insufficient!" Ayla argued. "You don't stop pressing just because you think you've made the deal. If you don't show someone the strength of your conviction they'll slip right out of your grasp," she stated as if it were sage wisdom.

"Is that a dating tip or business advice?" I asked dryly.

"Both," she said bluntly. "Now this way, your appointment is due."

At that point, things took a turn for the medical. The Unity thread was simple to 'install'. They basically dropped me naked in a room with a spool of the stuff that, like a starving predator, instantly threw itself towards me. The glowing red metaphysical cord, animating and sinking both ends of itself into my skin, spinning itself loose until I was left with just a loop of it holding the old wooden dowel up against my left outer thigh.

The intrusion was… noticeable, but also not exactly uncomfortable? Alarming as hell on an instinctive level, but in no ways painful. Just shocking, and the way I'd become aware of it once it 'linked in', changed the feeling from being attacked, to 'getting out of an uncomfortable position'. Even the spool thing was easily fixed once my adrenaline levels dipped down and I worked out how to 'flex' the cord loose so I could pull the thing loose.

The next part after that though? Bit more involved. 'Brilliances' were a much more comprehensive rework of the self, and I'd snagged two of the four this version of the contract had available.

The first, 'Physical Brilliance' was actually an outdated option. It still provided a solid 'brute' superhuman package. Enhanced speed, durability, strength, stamina, etc, along with a moderate (though not combat relevant) healing factor. Not nearly as much as its successor 'Titan's Body' had, but still enough to let me shrug off small arms naked, run down an SUV, and flip over (but not lift up) said SUV after I did so.

Now with Titan Body, the modern version of the perk, I could lift an SUV. Hell, I could probably shotput an SUV into the next state, while bouncing artillery shells off my back as a light massage. But Physical Brilliance was what I had for options, so it's what I got.

Besides, it wasn't like I didn't have other means to boost my physical abilities.

My version of Magical Brilliance on the other hand was pretty much the exact same as the advanced versions of the EYE contract used. It was also broken as hell. Giving not only an upgraded version of a full spell tree appropriate for the world you were set in, but also the ability to reverse engineer foreign, or even fictional magic systems within a few nebulous limits.

That one, more than any other perk I was going to get, was probably going to be my key to completing the mission. Like Lisa had observed, Shard powers weren't actually magic after all. And I was hopeful something exoteric could slip past their guard and let me deal a decisive enough blow.

The trick would be working out just which approach to use. Because if I only hit them hard enough to hurt the Entity and not kill or disable it properly? Well. Few things were as dangerous as a wounded animal. Even an intelligent animal like a human.

And Entities, regardless of their 'calculating' nature, tended to be even more ruled by their instincts than humans did.

Hence, my focus on having a few contingencies ready, just in case.

Anyway, they put me out for that installation. Getting your mind, body, and soul carved up tended to be…An unpleasant process, even when they weren't sticking a whole bunch of new bits in, and swapping old parts out in a way that reminded one disturbingly of the ship of Theseus.

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