I love red burger buns, that's what Mama said, so it's easy to notice that a red burger is always on top of my table, and I just simply love red when it appears in the sky.
That color is like love, something I no longer recognize, or maybe I've already drowned in fear.
But if love were to bloom inside me, perhaps it could end my dark winter. I'm not sure if I even want to feel the warmth of love and melt the cold walls of my heart.
I often dream about him and the strange feeling that has long resided in my chest.
His pale eyes staring at me, yet the only thing I know is that I don't remember him—but it feels so familiar.
I want to know what's hidden behind those ocean-like eyes, but whenever I try to get closer, I no longer know what I would feel.
After that, his face gradually fades into darkness.
"Who are you?" I asked.
---
"Bridgette, do you know him?"
"Where's our next stop, Grace?" That was Bridgette, as if she hadn't heard what the other person had said.
School is almost over, but since the first day I came back, I've been seeing new faces in the classroom, and I don't see Bridgette anymore.
She's my friend, yet it seems like we no longer really know each other. Even when we enter together, her attention is often on her new classmates I don't know.
I feel the warmth of the sun on my skin as I step off the train headed to Aurora Nexus.
"Please have a seat."
A woman in her mid-30s called out to me, wearing gloves and glasses. She glanced at the monitor before looking at me.
"Stay calm. Before we put that gear on you, you can also give me a signal in case something happens," she instructed.
I had forgotten her name from the first time she introduced herself as my doctor, but I didn't know her real purpose inside this VR building.
"I hope you'll get along with the other patients. This isn't your first time, so keep your mind calm."
This is my first time trying this, or maybe she just mistook me for another patient.
If my mama hadn't signed the document handed to her by the VR psychologists, I probably wouldn't be here.
It's probably impossible that I would be the first to try their virtual reality game project, but from what Doctor Duck said earlier, I'm sure there are other players besides me. If that's the case, their VR game is successful.
What does my mama want?
But if I think about it, I feel like I'm liking this place.
As soon as I entered the large VR capsule, I breathed a deep sigh. It was like a small room just big enough for one person, with air entering through small windows around it.
The woman put the headgear on me before closing the capsule door, and now I'm bracing myself for what comes next.
The feeling was refreshing.
Just like yesterday, the quiet forest greeted me, along with the songs of birds.
"So, this is what it feels like here."
It's enjoyable to walk here, but it would probably be even better if the ground I'm stepping on were real. It's true that I'm only wearing thin socks and a hospital-gown-like outfit, which is comfortable on my body.
We're free to choose what kind of character we want in the game, but only animals are available.
Maybe if what the woman said earlier is true, the animals I see here are also people like me.
"What about the butterfly yesterday and the crocodile I saw?" Honestly, it would be funny if I believed that.
I just chuckled.
"You noticed too… fat raccoon." I was surprised when someone spoke from above.
Oh no, am I too loud?
He was a bit far, perched on a branch, staring intently at me.
I frowned, wondering if the sloth on the branch would answer my questions, but it just kept staring.
"Is that you?" I asked, realizing they probably wouldn't answer my questions.
"Guess," the sloth replied, still in the same position.
"How did you do that? Teach me." I didn't know anything yet about the game. All I know is how to walk and run.
The sloth just laughed.
He looked cute; his human voice didn't match his appearance. I almost laughed at his expression.
"It's my ability. It's in the settings icon if you can find it. I think you can do it too," the sloth replied before jumping down from the branch.
What is this person doing in his capsule? Is his imagination so strong that he can control his movements in the game?
"I see."
"Come on, let's explore more," he called to me. I didn't know what kind of smile I should give. If these are real animals, maybe I'd rather live inside a zoo.
"Let's go somewhere else; the grass here is too tall." Suddenly, my head started hurting when I heard those words.
I've heard this several times before… from Bridgette.
("The grass is too tall.") That phrase echoed repeatedly in my mind before I woke up in my room.
I pressed the buzzer after realizing I had been disconnected just now. My forehead was sweaty, and my pulse was racing, unlike when I first logged in.
"What happened?" the woman asked.
"I got disconnected. How did that happen?" I asked.
"Only you can answer that. Maybe you were triggered or stressed. Take a rest first; you can't reconnect after what happened," she said, handing me the water placed on the arm of the sofa.
Is that a big deal for a player?
"Let me just take off the headgear from you; take a deep breath first," she instructed before removing the headgear from my head.
"Can you tell me what happened? It's quite common for patients; usually, they just disconnect when they log out," she explained.
"Is there a problem with the Wi-Fi here?" I asked. She shook her head.
I didn't realize they weren't using broadband, but the latest Advonc satellite internet.
"Alright, I'll leave you for now. I'll call your parents to pick you up—"
"I can go home by myself," I replied with a sigh.
True, and I'm already grown up.
What do you want, Bridgette?
And if I also think about the sloth earlier, what could have happened to me when I got disconnected?
The city lights were bright around me; after a few steps, I reached the house, but no one was inside.
I just looked at the old shoes by the door.
They don't look old and are still clean, as if they're often wiped.
I couldn't remember whose they were.
"Zac."
"Charlene!" Mama shouted from behind me, so I turned around, and she came out of the car.
"Why didn't you tell me you were already home?" I said. I didn't need a ride anyway; this doctor really messed up.
I felt a bit awkward around her these past few days, like a child who needed watching over.
She's become overly careful now, as if every move I make is dangerous.