Clearly, it was her fault; she owed Yan Junye. But for some reason, after Yan Junye returned home, not only did she not want to make amends, she actually despised him more.
She hated how Yan Junye drifted under her nose every day, constantly reminding her of how heartless and unfaithful she was, of how she could sacrifice her own son to save herself at a life-and-death moment.
She feared Yan Junye would tell others about those matters, ruin her image, making people think she's a selfish and vicious woman.
Every time Yan Junye interacted with people outside, she would wonder if Yan Junye would tell others about what happened back then.
Time and again, she couldn't help but think, why didn't Yan Junye die out there?
If he had died outside, that secret would have remained a secret forever.
No one would ever know that she abandoned her own son to save her life.
