A/N:
This is a mature side story on Lowe x Rainier that takes place between chapters XX and XXI.
Song Recommendation: ♫ Love Me Better - MOTHICA ♫
"There's beauty in what most consider ordinary, your eyes of the most common color, your lips that never change, yet my gaze upon you will always be new, as every day that passes I fall more and more in love with you.''
A mess. That's what this engagement party was, after King Lyor dragged Prince Nikias away, the party resumed, but the tension was palpable, after all the Royal family presented themselves as weak when they stopped it all for a member of their family everyone assumed they didn't care about. Even when the Crown Prince and the Crown Princess resumed their dance, they weren't smiling anymore, something shifted, and anyone there with even half a brain cell could tell.
Even so, Lowe couldn't leave or go after his employer to check on him, first because he's sure the King will take good care of the Prince, and second because his job there isn't done yet. He knows the Prince would like for them to finish their job, so that's what he and Raphael are doing, even if the others are gone, they don't want to let Nikias down.
''It's almost time'', Raphael says, his grip strong in the weapon on his hip, Lowe recognizes the worn out weapon and wishes his brother would buy a new one, as the tips of the stiletto are already rusting. ''Are you sure we should just watch?'' He says, Lowe can see that his brother's fingers are shaking slightly, perhaps because this is a more hands-on job than what he was doing before and he's nervous about it.
His gaze goes to the bottom of the stairs, under the yellow light, Rainier still looks like a dignified and absolutely stunning knight, being apart like this doesn't make Lowe insecure, but it does make him notice their social differences even more.
''Yeah, he can handle this'', Lowe says, in reality however he's just as anxious, but when he decided to trust Nikias words to a tee, he knew this would happen.
No matter what happens, don't interfere with the fight until it ends, we can't change what happens much more than this, Lowe. I know you're worried about Lord Rainier's death, but this won't kill him, you can trust in his abilities and in my words.
Those words made him back off, it isn't time for Rainier to die, so he must hold back his worries.
The main event of the party finally starts, the exchange of vows, and when, according to Prince Nikias, disaster will strike. The couple moves towards the top of the stairs, where all eyes are on them. Lowe doesn't pay attention to what they're saying, his eyes are fixated on Rainier, he can't see his face, but by his tense shoulders and small flinches he can tell what he's feeling.
Of course he's not over her yet, he thinks, still keeping his eyes fixated on the knight.
''You're sure about him?'' Raphael asks with a sigh, he seems more worried about Lowe getting hurt than Lowe himself, and his eyes are always showing clear hostility towards Rainier, even if he says he wants his brother to be happy with whoever he chooses.
''No'', Lowe answers in a whisper. ''We're not together long enough for me to be sure'', he continues, turning his gaze towards his brother, his eyes filled with worry. ''For now he treats me right and I enjoy his company, isn't that enough?''
Raphael nods, he looks conflicted, but he surely doesn't want to ruin his brother's selfish choices. Because Lowe rarely is selfish, if he intervenes, that would bring Lowe to never choosing himself again.
''It's starting'', Lowe says once he spots four masked men jumping onto the stairs from the balcony. It all happens exactly how Prince Nikias said it would.
The men were armed with knives, swords and poison darts. Lowe could smell the poison from afar, it's the same poison from the champagne, it's surprising that the Prince even knew how to neutralize it when he never even studied poisons. Did he see it in a future vision too? He wonders, as he uses his own mana to discreetly disperse the antidote through the ballroom. It's not as effective as when he used to spread poison, but it seems to help the knights being attacked by the darts.
Just as the Prince stated, the attackers hesitate once the poison doesn't work, turning to use their swords to try to approach the Crown Prince, but Lowe remembers that the Prince isn't the real target. He turns to see Rainier at the bottom of the stairs, fighting off two of the attackers, his moves with the sword are precise and swift, he seems like one with it, as if he was born to brandish a sword, his red eyes are completely focused on the fight at hand and he uses the assailants to help him move closer to the Prince, this way he can protect him while also fighting.
He's impressive, Lowe thinks, as he walks closer to the wall, trying to stay out of everyone's way as the panicked nobles try to leave the ballroom. At the corner of his eye he can see his brother moving towards the Emperor and Empress, the two are surrounded by knights already, but even so, they know better.
Raphael hides himself behind one of the pillars near the Empress, holding tight to his stiletto waiting for the right timing. Blood, Lowe thinks as he smells it, he turns to see one of the attackers falling down the stairs, painting his way with his blood, Rainier's sword is painted with their blood, but he doesn't hesitate into continuing the fight with the next one. The Crown Prince seems to have joined the fight once the Crown Princess was escorted out of the ballroom, his pink eyes are dark and his grip on his sword is different from Rainier's, it isn't elegant or beautiful, it's raw and violent.
Together the two young men manage to kill the other two attackers, leaving off just one. Lowe's gaze turns to his brother again, who's also looking at him, waiting.
Mother uses a necklace every big occasion, its an artifact from the Goddess of the Moon, and that's what they're after, since its Brother's engagement, they'll try to divert the attention by attacking Alkaios and Evangelia, while one of their associates climbs through a secret passage behind the Emperor and Empress, snatching the necklace using a stealth magic circle.
Nikias' words appear in Lowe's head again, everything is happening word by word. But instead of the future the Prince described, this time, the moment the thief climbs behind the Empress, his appearance blending into the background, Raphael manages to toss his stiletto, the tip of it dark, tainted by his mana, and the moment it grapes on the thief's skin, the magic circle wears off and he falls onto the ground yelling in pain.
Killing him would be effective, but we can't be the center of attention tonight, so just cursing him is enough for him to be captured. Remember to not get caught, none of you, if they find your weapon, just say you dropped it earlier, and if someone sees you toss it… Silence them.
Lowe blinks slowly as he watches everything finally being over, the knights drag the remaining thief that is still screaming in pain towards the dungeons, while the remaining nobles let out a sigh of relief, the engagement ball of the Crown Prince finally comes to an end.
''Will you be going to his place tonight?'' Raphael asks once they're out of the ballroom, sitting near the entrance garden, watching as the carriages leave the Palace.
''Yes'', Lowe answers, his gaze is dark as he feels slightly shiverish due to the cold wind.
''I'll be in the training grounds, I also need to write a report about tonight'', Raphael says, as he stretches himself. ''Also, I think I fucked up with Lord Abel tonight…'', he says, his tone is lower and he doesn't look his brother in the eyes.
''Don't worry so much, his highness already said he will protect you from any action he might take against you'', Lowe says, still, he's also worried, after all his brother sometimes can be too much of a pushover when he thinks he might trouble someone.
''I don't want his help… I want to be someone that can solve such issues before it reaches him'', Raphael sighs, ''But I failed''.
''There's honor in failure as well'', Lowe turns to see the origin of the voice, Rainier looks absolutely exhausted, his red eyes are swollen, his lips are pursed and his clothes are a mess, as if he was trying to loosen them up to feel less suffocated. ''We can't be strong all the time, after all, we're all humans''. Rainier says, as he finally manages to get closer, he hugs Lowe from behind, leaning his head onto his shoulder.
Lowe flinches, but doesn't move, the man's touch is warm and his body feels as if it's burning up. He must be tired, he thinks, letting him do whatever he pleases. He looks at Raphael, he isn't sure what his expression means exactly, but he can tell he isn't pleased to see Lord Rainier, Lowe wants to move away, apologize to his brother, he would do anything Raphael asks of him, even if he asks him to never marry, to never love someone, or even if he asked him to die.
But Raphael would never ask such things, his expression softens the moment he sees the panic in Lowe's eyes.
''I guess if a future Duke is saying it, it must be true'', Raphael says with a faint smile, he doesn't enjoy seeing the man touching his brother like that, but if he shows any sign of discomfort, he might ruin Lowe's chance to be emotionally independent from him.
And there's nothing he wants more than for his older brother to be happy.
Rainier rubs his face on Lowe's shoulder, taking in the man's scent, before he raises his head just enough to see his lover's twin brother. In the dark, one could easily mistake the two of them, even with the small differences, Lowe and Raphael are still identical twins, at first not even Rainier was able to tell the difference between them. But now it looks so obvious it's painful to even think of them as the same person.
The different moles, the two centimeters of height difference, the muscular difference was slight but also clear, the way they move, their mannerisms, the way their voice cadence is also different and most of all, their personalities are complete opposites.
While it was hard to tell what Lowe was thinking, Raphael wears his heart on his sleeve, however, Lowe communicates more clearly his feelings and thoughts, while Raphael is more closed off, insecure.
''If you want to get rid of Frode, you can just win a duel against him'', Rainier says, he should back off Lowe to speak, but he feels comfortable like this, as if he's recharging his lost energy.
It's quite clear that while Rainier's love language is more leaning towards acts of service and physical touch, Lowe is more into quality time and also acts of service, it's funny how they show their affection the same yet different ways, even if they don't know it themselves.
''Would that work?'' Lowe asks, his hand moving to touch Rainier's, pushing him away slowly, since they're going to leave soon.
''Yeah, pretty much, he's insane, but he respects those stronger than him'', Rainier says, tilting his head, wondering why Lowe pushed him away. He looks like a lost puppy, Lowe thinks, amused.
''I should train more then'', Raphael says, noticing the exchanged glances between his brother and his lover, he's not dense enough to not know when he should leave. ''Rest well, brother… And… Take care of him Lord Rainier'', Raphael says with a bit of hesitation, but his words seem to make Lowe happy, so it is all ok.
After Raphael leaves, Rainier grabs Lowe's hand. ''Walk with me for a bit'', he says, Lowe nods and they walk around the empty garden. ''You knew about the attack'', he states after they stay silent for a while.
''Yes'', Lowe says, he can feel Rainier's hand tightening its grasp on his.
''What if you got hurt?'' Rainier's words make Lowe stop.
''That's what you're worried about?''
''Of course, I saw the mist you made with the antidote, what if they noticed as well and tried to harm you?'' Rainier nods, staring into Lowe's eyes, he caresses under his eyes tenderly. He's fixated with his lover's eyes and lovely tiny mole under it.
''You're the only one that knows about my mana besides those who I work with'', Lowe says, surprised, he never even considered the possibility that Rainier would be worried about him. ''I thought you'd be angry because I didn't tell you''.
Rainier ponders for a second before answering, his touch on Lowe's face tickles.
''I'm not angry, you must've had your reasons, and everything worked out in the end'', Rainier says as they resume their walk. ''I also should've bought you clothes for tonight'', he observes. ''I don't like the fact that people thought you were my attendant not my lover''.
''Well, I am a servant, plus, I'm not good-looking, so most people wouldn't see me as someone you'd be interested in'', Lowe comments, he doesn't really mean anything by it, it's just what he honestly thinks.
''Lowe'', Rainier sighs. ''You put yourself down too much, you should be more confident, I wouldn't be into you if you weren't attractive''.
''Oh, so you're into me just because I'm attractive?'' Lowe jokes, he can see Rainier's panicked expression with the corner of his eyes, making him laugh. ''I'm joking, I know what you meant''.
''I thought I would be more sad today'', Rainier says, after a sigh of relief. ''But when I was there, looking at them exchanging vows, all I could think was that I regretted not taking you shopping for clothes''.
Lowe flinches, those sweet words directed at him aren't fully for him. He knows that, deep down even if he can rationalize their situation, that Rainier is using him to get over his unrequited love, and that in two years they'll take their separate ways, he can't help but slowly melt his ice walls when he says those things.
He makes him feel as if he is the only one inside his heart.
But he isn't.
''I guess its working, huh, you're slowly getting over her'', Lowe mumbles, not able to look at Rainier.
''Yes, but rather than getting over my feelings for her, I just think my feelings for you are growing'', he says, but then he pauses, scratching his head, messing up his styled hair. ''No, that's not what I mean, I don't know how to express it properly'', he continues, Lowe watches as Rainier stops walking, he looks frustrated, as if the words he wants to say aren't leaving his mouth. ''I don't think I'm simply redirecting my feelings, it's more like my feelings for her are naturally fading as I grow more fond of you''. He looks embarrassed by what he just said, as his face and ears turn the same tone as his hair.
''I understand'', Lowe says with a small nod, he's cute, he thinks, starting to walk again. ''We should go to your house, it's getting late''.
Rainier nods as the redness in his face doesn't fade.
It takes them half-an hour to finally be in Rainier's room, the path there was completely silent, but not uncomfortable, each one of them thinking about their conversation.
His room is as dark as usual, Lowe thinks as he lights up the lamps beside the table. Slowly he got used to that room, well, three months of coming and going from it sure made it that way. The first time he came there after they became lovers was awkward, just like when they had sex that same day, it was all the same but different. He never thought about what would change when he found a lover, maybe because he never thought he would have one, the idea of loving someone is still foreign to him, yet he slowly finds himself drawn to Rainier, his scent, his presence, his words, everything is slowly becoming engrained in Lowe, the moment his eyes towards him changed from lust and anger to affection and care, he understood the difference.
The difference between what they have now and what they had before.
Slowly he wants to know how Rainier's day went, what his thoughts are about daily news and his troubles and worries, his gaze softened and he wants this to work out. Sure, you can't push yourself into love, but Lowe wouldn't mind staying with Rainier even without such subjective feelings, because he already grew into having him around.
Is that what people say when they say they have a relationship out of comfort not love? Lowe wonders as he watches Rainier undressing. Is it wrong though? They always say as if it's something wrong, but this feels nice. His thoughts stop once the man in front of him is almost completely naked, having only his underwear.
Rainier's face and hands have a golden tan, while the rest of his body are taken by a more pale tone, making it shown how hard he trains, his body is built like a weapon, his muscles bulging, if he were more muscular it would be defying the limits of a human body, his height is taller than Lowe, but not by much, probably around 7 or 8cm, yet he's usually the one bending to fit inside Lowe's grasp. The man's body was certainly sculpted, but what always grasps Lowe's attention the most is his eyes, red like a ripe apple, burning with a passion he still isn't able to completely grasp and always reflecting his own eyes as if they both can see inside each other's soul. And his fiery short red hair is now slightly longer, reaching his eyebrows and almost reaching his ears. Now that his hair is messy, different from the well-kept style from earlier, it makes him look more… childish, vulnerable.
''You're making me shy with all the staring'', Rainier comments with a playful smile, Lowe can't help but blush for being so obvious.
''Aren't we lovers?'' he asks, trying to hide his shame. ''Aren't I allowed to look at you?'' His question makes Rainier laugh.
The man hugs him again, it feels different now that they're alone, it feels more intimate.
''You're right pup, you can stare at me to your hearts content'', he whispers in Lowe's ear making him shiver.
''I… I should go shower'', Lowe says, embarrassed for even stuttering, after he accepted his attraction towards Rainier, even his smallest touch makes him feel feverish.
''Can't we shower together?'' Rainier asks, slightly whining.
''Last time we got the bed wet…'' Lowe says, considering. ''I don't want to bother the servants''.
Rainier wants to say that it's not a bother, that his employees actually taunt him every time they change his sheets and even asked him his lover's favorite foods. If he says that he'll manage to see Lowe getting shy again, however he also knows that as a servant himself, he'll still feel guilty, so he chooses to not say anything.
''I'll wait then'', Rainier says, the warmth of Lowe's body on his arms feels so incredible he doesn't really want to let go. He grabs the man's hand softly, bringing it to touch his crotch. ''Impatiently'', he whispers, placing a kiss on Lowe's ear as the man shivers in his arms.
He wants to cave so badly, Rainier's erection feels warm on his hands and the small kisses on his ear make it impossible for Lowe to not get hard himself. When did he become so weak to pleasure? He never even masturbated on his own before meeting Rainier. However, just thinking about their nights together or having the man's touch on his bare skin is enough to make him get hard.
Lowe manages to enter the bathroom after receiving a few more kisses from Rainier, the moment he closes the door, a sigh of relief leaves his lips. ''...I'm just as impatient'', he whispers to himself, turning to look at himself in the bathroom's mirror.
A mess, that's how he looks, flushed skin, messy hair, marks all over his ear and neck, proof of what he and Rainier were just doing, and his clothes are loose, it sure does look like he had a rough day, but he doesn't feel tired. He looks down at his pants, the fabric is tight around his erection, so much so that it hurts. He turns on the shower, and as he waits for it to warm up he takes off his clothes.
Compared to Rainier he's just scrawny, he doesn't have muscles and he even has a small pouch, sure, he's not completely unfit, after all he still exercises due to his days as a mercenary, but even so, he's not even close to his brother or Rainier in terms of strength or appearance. Close to them he looks like a weak and puny guy. Should I work out more? He wonders, but there's no use, it's not as if he has time. Sex is a type of exercise, right? He thinks, blushing again, at least that's what he read in one of the books he read in his free time.
Before entering the shower he grabs the almost empty bottle of lube in the cabinet, and just then he enters the warm shower. The water is a warm comfort in his cold skin, he sighs as he cleans himself, he's still not used to doing this, even if he does it every time he comes by, at first it was awkward and weird, he did all of that with just mere words he read in a book way too long ago. Yet now he even knows how to do it quickly and more effectively, this has just become routine.
I need to lose myself a little as well, he thinks, once Rainier offered to do so for him, and it was nice, but it took too long, probably because the man wanted to make him feel good and ended up too engrossed in it.
On the other side of the door, Rainier is trying hard to not barge into the bathroom, he knows Lowe doesn't lock the door, and the sound of the shower and the idea of what the man is doing there doesn't help his self-control. He doesn't know what that day is making him so worked up, maybe the idea that they went to the ball as a couple, or the adrenaline of the fight earlier is just remnant. Whatever it is… ''...I'm not sure I can control myself properly today''.
Unaware of each other's impatience, time passes slowly, and soon Lowe leaves the bathroom, he didn't even bother putting on a robe this time, the towel laying on his dripping wet hair.
Rainier eyes burn on his skin.
''You need to dry yourself properly'', he says, his tone is low and raspy, they're both holding back, neither able to hide their erections. Lowe sits on the edge of the bed, holding his breath, the light of the bathroom helps them see each other properly in the bad-lit room, Rainier grabs the towel, drying Lowe's hair slowly, their bodies touching softly.
I can't take this, they both think at the same moment, weirdly in tune with each other. ''Rainier…'' Lowe whispers, turning his head to look at his lover, their eyes are both dark with desire. ''I don't think my hair being wet right now is what we should be focusing on'', he says, pushing Rainier's hand away, completely turning and getting on top of the bed to face Rainier fully.
Without another word they start kissing, their kiss is slow before it picks up with the intensity once Lowe pushes his tongue inside of Rainier's mouth, he can feel his body temperature slowly rising and his heart beating insanely hard inside his chest.
Small touches across his skin are ticklish, making him moan.
''Rainier'', Lowe moans as the kisses go from his mouth to his neck, Rainier's tongue is warm on his skin, his whole body feels numb and his toes tremble slightly every time he feels shivers down his spine. The pleasure taking over his mind. ''I want…'', he says in between moans, feeling as the man's hands travel from his hip to his butt, gripping it tightly. ''...to make you feel good'', he finishes, looking the other in the eye.
He doesn't need to explicitly say what he wants, his gaze is enough.
Rainier lays down, his breath is unstable, and his eyes show just how much he's holding back pouncing on Lowe right now. Lowe sighs, trying to control his own burning desire, he places kisses over Rainier's torso, feeling the man flinching under his touch, it feels nice, making him feel good, he thinks as he pulls down the man's underwear, freeing his erection, he's harder than usual, he notices, touching the erection, from up close he can see all of its veins and every detail, even the small mole on it, cute, he thinks with a soft smile, with his other hand he trails the man's body, feeling its warmth and how his muscles feel under his hand.
His cock twitching with every move Lowe does, even if he's not even touching it directly. ''Pup… You're torturing me'', Rainier says, breathless.
Lowe smiles, finally licking Rainier's dick, at first he just licks it softly, trying to get used to the feeling. In the past three months all they did was have sex, sometimes Rainier would finger Lowe, but they never gave each other blowjobs, and not only that, it was Lowe's first time even attempting such a thing. It's salty, he thinks as he opens his mouth, trying to make it fully fit inside it, under him he can feel Rainier twitching, and his soft moans only make him want to do more.
I have a gag reflex, Lowe thinks, disappointed as he doesn't manage to swallow Rainier's dick fully, feeling his throat twitching, he makes a mental note to search a way to make it work later on, as he wonders how much the other would enjoy if he managed to swallow him whole. Either way, he starts moving his head, sucking the head and moving his tongue, he's not sure if what he's doing is good, his jaw is slowly even getting tired, but he doesn't stop, the moans of his lover only motivate him to continue. I want to make him come, he thinks, determined, looking up to see Rainier's eyes fixated on him.
His gaze dark with desire, his hands clenching onto the sheets and his mouth slit open as he moans. ''Pup, you don't need to push yourself'', he says, brushing Lowe's face as he takes his dick off his mouth to lick it for a moment, giving a break to his jaw.
Lowe doesn't answer, he simply puts Rainier's member back onto his mouth, moving a bit faster as he feels his dick pulsing inside his mouth. I wonder what he tastes like, he thinks, focusing on his movement, using his hands to support him on the part he's unable to put inside his mouth.
''Shit, Lowe, I'm going to cum'', Rainier says, trying to push Lowe's face off. ''Lowe'', he says again, his voice sounding like a plea. Shivers run down Lowe's spine, and he can feel his own cock twitching as pre-cum drips from it, he can't help it, he feels extremely turned on by the mere fact that he managed to make the man feel this good.
The pulsing feeling of Rainier's dick in his mouth as he comes and the warm liquid is weird, the taste is bad, but Lowe doesn't spit it right away, letting go of the man's member once he stops cumming, his gaze is soft as he gazes back at his lover.
''Spit it out'', Rainier says, raising his hand so that Lowe can spit on it. It was such a cute action that makes Lowe want to laugh, by mere impulse, just to see the man's reaction, he swallows it, his eyes twitching with the bitterness. ''Fuck, pup, it doesn't taste good, why did you…''
''Because you're cute'', Lowe says, laughing at Rainier's baffled expression.
''Who's cute here is you'', Rainier says, sighing in defeat. ''You really know how to rile me up'', he states.
After that their night becomes filled with moans and warmth, Lowe isn't sure how many times Rainier made him come, but he is sure they had sex six or seven times that night, going until the sun rose. It's rare for them to lose control like this, and the only reason why Lowe knows how many times they went for it is the number of used condoms on the room's floor.
He didn't sleep, and he soon needs to leave for work, his body is covered in sweat and his back hurts and he is completely sure that his hole is swollen, yet he wouldn't have stopped even if he knew the pain he will be in all day. There was something special about that night they spent together. Even if they were both out of their minds, even if they didn't exchange a single word. He can even feel the sensation of having Rainier inside of him, weirdly it brings him comfort.
''Are you going to be ok?'' Rainier asks, his gaze now is soft and filled with affection, different from his lust heavy gaze from before. ''I think I went too far'', he states, brushing Lowe's hair off his forehead.
''I wanted it too, you know'', Lowe says in a soft whisper as he closes his eyes, feeling Rainier's affectionate touch.
''Do you have a lot of work today?'' He asks, kissing Lowe's forehead.
''No, only in the afternoon, what about you?''
''I can manage if I'm a bit late today'', Rainier says, hugging Lowe, they're both sweaty, but they don't seem to mind even so. ''Let's rest for a moment, are you sleepy?''
''Hmm'', Lowe nods, burying his head onto Rainier's chest, the man smells like sweat, cum and firewood, it's a weird mixture, yet it smells just like him. ''Are you telling me how it went earlier with your friends?'' Lowe asks, his voice is soft, he seems ready to fall asleep, yet he still wants to talk.
''Alkaios is supportive'', Rainier says, caressing Lowe's back. ''But Evangelia was angry, she is against servants and nobles dating''.
Are you sure it is really just that? Lowe wonders but doesn't say it. ''She'll come around eventually'', he says instead.
''Of course, even if she doesn't, it won't change my mind'', Rainier says, placing another kiss on Lowe's forehead, then another one on his cheek and another one behind his ears. ''Lowe, I just really want you to know that I'm yours'', he says after a few seconds in silence. ''I know it's hard to believe me when I loved her for so long, but… Being with you is comforting, it is sweet, it feels like I can breathe''.
Lowe is extremely sleepy, he hears what Rainier says, but he can't formulate a proper answer. ''Just stay alive and next to me'', he whispers. ''That's my only wish''.
Rainier is surprised by the sudden honesty, not that Lowe ever was anything short of. ''Yes'', he says, placing another kiss on Lowe's forehead. ''I'll stay with you forever, pup, so don't you dare leave me as well''.
But his words aren't heard by the other, who's already fast asleep.