To this day, every night as I fall asleep in your arms, I wonder, am I considered a bad woman? Clearly there's a girl you love in your heart, whom you can't pursue. You can only watch her marry someone else, that kind of unattainable longing must hurt a lot, right? I understand that pain, and precisely because I understand it, I suddenly feel so worthless staying by your side. You originally intended to break up with me, and the only reason we reunited and mended this broken relationship is due to your pity, all because I'm carrying your child.
Once, I felt grateful, grateful for having your child in my womb, saving our precarious love. But now I've had a sudden realization; I despise myself for this. How could I use a child to bind my love? Is that the kind of love I long for?
No, I know, it's not.
I'm even more afraid that one day, my marriage will be unhappy because this love was ultimately saved by a child; it's not real, it's not stable, it's not safe...
