Kuroka had been with us last night; I am not crazy enough to have imagined that. I had filled her like a turkey in Christmas... but she doesn't remember. No, she outright says that never happened. There was scepticism and topics I wanted to touch on, but I decided to postpone that for now until we had some private time.
In the meantime, I had everyone sit down in the stall, looked at Kuroka, who had already eaten nearly around a hundred plates and was grinning. She had been challenged by the locals, and she had proudly trashed them.
I made some eye signs for her, thinking she'd understand. Big mistake.
'You can go for now–'
"Master-nya, are you paying for my bill?~ The truth is, I don't have money to pay-nya" The owner of the stall gasped in disbelief, and so did I.
Woman, even if you're broke, you should never say it out loud. I thought you were a hooligan who lived off the streets before I met you!
"Ojou-chan–" I think he was about to tell her that she was going to have to clean a lot of dishes to pay up for that debt, but she's my woman, so I interceded.
"Sir, you can be at ease. The Hokage herself will come to pay for our bill; you don't have to worry about it," I spat some bullshit. There is no way Tsunade will leave her job just to come all the way here to pay some bill, but I will blame her for all this anyway; she left in the morning and forgot to leave me some money.
When she came to our world, I healed her up and made sure she had money and everything she needed. I have come to her world, and so far she has only given me lodging and pussy... not that I am complaining.
"Nani?! Hokage-sama will!?" The man couldn't believe it.
"You guys get whatever you want, it's on me," I said like a boss, no one would believe I don't have a penny on me. I could create something with illusions, but that wouldn't be fair. I'd just pin the bill on Tsunade's account... that's fairer.
"Are you serious, nii-chan!?" Naruto's eyes shone at the prospect of a free meal. I was not ready to know how much ramen this kid could eat. He and Kuroka together could bankrupt this village.
"Yes, just get as much as you want. Tsunade told me you guys were on a mission, right? You must be hungry" Somehow, I believed I had to score some points with her nephew. This was Tsunade's only family left. I had to be good to the kid.
He also looked at Sakura and tried to join her in the conversation with each opportunity he had. One could tell he was onto the girl, but sadly, the feelings weren't mutual. This pink-haired girl was paying more attention to Hannah's ears than anything.
"Do you know this person, Ray-san?" Kakashi took a seat with the kids and asked about Kuroka, a face he likely also hasn't seen around.
"Yes, she's my–"
"I am his pet-nya~!"
I deadpanned. I felt Sakura and Naruto's disgust; frankly, it hurt. Then I felt Kakashi's respect; it hurt even more.
As if things weren't ridiculous enough, Kuroka and Hannah started to muffle and play with each other's ears.
"Leave them-nya!"
"Mofu mofu~".
Then Sakura joined her, and it became a 2v1 against Kuroka... but I feel she ended up liking Hannah's ears more, because the tables turned and it became a 2v1 against Hannah. This Sakura is a fickle as hell.
And then Naruto wanted to join too, but he was fiercely shoved away.
"You naughty fox-nya!" Kuroka hissed like a cat; she had also smelled his foxy scent.
Naruto sat there, discouraged and sad. Kakashi patted his shoulder and shook his head, "For your own sake, don't try to get in there, Naruto".
I nodded, Kakashi knows.
Seeing Kuroka, Hannah and Sakura playing with one another while waiting for their food, Kakashi fixed his bandana, took a notebook and started writing something.
'Oi, what are you writing?!'
I would never know.
...
The plates came, suffice to say, this is the best ramen I have ever eaten in my life. I'll have to take all my girls on a date to enjoy this, but the problem is... the seating is very limited. All my harem doesn't fit here.
'boy... damn'.
I couldn't help but smirk at myself and what I just thought, like I had accomplished something. I could rejoice at the achievement until the next milking session.
We had our meal, peacefully... or not, because Naruto started competing with Kuroka to see who eats more ramen. This little kid fought someone who had already eaten a hundred bowls, and he still couldn't win. What a fox? He's a little puss.
"That's not fair, you're cheating!" He had had enough at some point, looking like a pregnant woman about to give birth.
"How am I cheating-nya? you have never been filled up completely in one night-nya, stop complaining after just this little food~" Kuroka countered defiantly.
I almost spat out my ramen; thankfully, no one caught onto what she just said, except Hannah, whose hands had started to wander again.
I think Kakashi's brow flicked slightly, but then he continued to eat. I sighed in relief; even this pervert didn't get it.
"After eating so much... how come your stomach isn't bulging or anything?! You are cheating!" Naruto was a behemoth, and he wasn't going to admit his loss. It was like he was more confident in his ramen-eating skills than his actual shinobi skills.
"Fufufu, I am just giving my little kitty all the food-nya!~"
"Little kitty!?" Kakashi perked up until the veins of his eyes were visible.
This goddamn pervert, I have already figured him out.
"Kuroka, don't say things that can be misunderstood. She's pregnant, so she means her baby is taking all the food" I explained, unaware that I just dug myself a pit.
"Kuroka-san, you're pregnant? Congratulations! Who is the father?" Sakura asked the unavoidable question.
I guess, before when she said that she was my pet... they took that as a joke. I somehow perked up, but something I would never do would be to deny the existence of my kids. Nevertheless, only now do I understand how awkward it is to say to normal people that you have a harem.
"Me, I am the father", I said seriously.
!!!
Their gazes shifted between me, Kuroka and Hannah. I guess they expected a reaction out of Hannah, but no...
"Baby is very efficient~" That's all she said, digging me into the ground further.
"E-Efficient? In what way?!" Kakashi's eye was so veiny, I thought it was going to explode any moment. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"I think we're diverting the conversation. Stop, Naruto... you can't defeat her"
Seeing how things were just getting out of hand, I decided to move on after we finished eating.
"There is no way I am losing this dattebayo! Kuroka-chan, admit your loss!"
"What loss-nya?! You could barely take five bowls and expect me to admit defeat?! I would never lose to a snotty foxy brat like you! If you want me to admit defeat, beat me properly-nya!" Kuroka took another plate of ramen and presented it to Naruto.
"If you eat this one, I will admit my loss~".
The boy looked at that plate with such a complex expression, like he was about to make the decision of his life. Is there a need to get so serious over some ramen?
"Naruto, please stop!" Seeing the boy's bulging belly about to explode, Sakura begged him.
'Stop, Kiddo, do you want to die!? If you want to perish in such a stupid way, do it alone!', I heard a voice coming from somewhere. It took me a while to figure out who it was...
Even the beast inside of him encouraged him not to face the other monster sitting across.
I just couldn't deal with all these people. I sent a message to Tsunade to see if she could send someone to pay for this bill since I didn't have money.
[Tsunade: I am busy, sort it out somehow]
That was her short answer. I expected it, but it still made me sad somehow. After giving this woman litres of cum, she couldn't pay for one meal for me.
I rubbed my forehead, "Sorry, boss... do you take gold?"
With no other choice, I popped a whole gold lingot. This is the cheapest thing I have on me... I mean, aside from Japanese yen and some currency from the Baharut Empire, which I don't think he will take.
"Young man, this is too much!" He said, I was relieved that he'd take this as payment.
"Just take it, sir, your food was delicious. Do me a favour, use this money and get a bigger stall. Look at how many people are queuing outside, I think you should have bigger premises".
"We will do as you say, young man. May Kamisama bless you and your family! If you want any food at any point, just come here, and we will feed you for free!"
'Lifetime ramen got. I am Kamisama, though'.
"Thanks, old man".
When I looked at Naruto, he was staring at me with this deep gaze, like I was his God. I thought about just giving the lifetime ramen to him, but... I don't think it will do him anything good.
I patted his head, "Boss, this boy is my nephew, just let him eat for free thrice a week".
"Eh? Not every day?"
"No, not every day, Naruto! You will get fat!" This shameless kid still dared to complain. I turned around and saw Sakura staring at me with the same eyes and sighed.
"She, too, can come three times a week as well, okay? Just until they graduate".
"Yay!"
Then Kakashi was looking at me with that pitiful eye as well, begging me to help him save some of his money from his monthly wage spent on food.
"Fuck you..."