🌌
ATTENTION, MORTALS.
This is a formal broadcast — politely shoved into your consciousness — from:
THE CELESTIAL DEPARTMENT
Sub-Office of:
Cosmic Anniversaries
Symbolic Fresh Starts
And Oh Fine, Yes, We'll Celebrate With You If It Makes You Feel Better
We are legally obligated by the wider Multiversal Administration to acknowledge that your planet has once again completed a rotation around its star.
Congratulations.
You did not fall off. You did not explode. You did not get neatly filed under "Failed Timeline — See Recycling Department."
We're proud of you.
…in a patient, exasperated, "we absolutely expected a catastrophe but somehow you crawled into the next cycle anyway" kind of way.
🎉 Woo. 🎉
There. Enthusiasm.
Please understand, we do care. We're just… tired.
Do you know how many prayers, wishes, shouted demands, whispered pleas, bargain attempts, borderline threats, and passive-aggressive cosmic complaints we received this year?
Too many.
You cried. You laughed. You suffered. You loved. You broke and kept going anyway.
(You also made some decisions that caused spontaneous celestial facepalming on three divine planes, but we're trying to maintain the festive tone.)
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✨ OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT ✨
Because it is a New Year, the Celestial Department would like to extend the following:
Yes, hope is still authorized.
Yes, change is still permitted.
Yes, miracles remain listed as "rare but possible."
Yes, the universe still allows second chances.
And third.
And occasionally fourth, depending on paperwork and situational irony.
We cannot promise your year will be gentle.
We CAN promise that:
The stars still watch.
The universe still listens (begrudgingly, but sincerely).
There are beings who genuinely want you to make it.
And even in the worst moments, existence occasionally remembers to be kind.
Some of you will cry. Some of you will heal. Some of you will build. Some of you will finally do that thing you've been afraid to try.
Some of you will survive when you thought you wouldn't.
And that matters.
Deeply.
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🎆 FINAL NOTES 🎆
If your new year contains:
confusion
fear
ridiculous decisions
heartbreak
stubborn miracles
questionable coping choices
accidental growth
Please direct all panic, tears, and emotional flailing to:
THE DEPARTMENT OF COSMIC COMPLAINTS Drawer: "New Year, Same Emotional Chaos"
They will file your distress politely.
They may even offer tea.
Meanwhile, we — the Celestial Department — will keep watching over your sky, quietly rooting for you in our tired, celestial way.
You made it here.
We hope you keep going.
Happy New Year, small brilliant chaos-creatures.
May you find warmth, may you find strength, and may something beautiful survive with you into the next one.
— CELESTIAL DEPARTMENT
"Yes, we're still watching. Yes, we still care. No, we're not admitting that out loud twice."