I saw her head nodding as she too ate her own launch, "..It still surprises me how the both of you are interacting in the first place. You two have never seen eye to eye, or at least never found the time too."
I shrug at the truth of it, "We never had the same classes to begin with it. Not to mention, he was never someone I could be around with in the beginning years of high school. A bit of an ass because of that ego."
"Yeah…. Even when he suddenly got into the basketball team in our sophomore year out of nowhere. I mean, somehow, he got fit and flexible to out beat everyone on Midtown's team and the other schools team. Hell, half of the school mentioned he might've been on steroids."
If only Liz knew the truth that it was because he got bit by a spider that just made him above the normal person he once was, "Possibly. Who knows either way. He ended up leveling out though, went back to keeping to himself while also being less of an ass."
"It's because of his uncle passing," Liz mentioned in a slightly deceitful tone, "That would do a lot to change a person, especially someone's age. I mean, I presume at least."
Again today, the topic of his uncle protruded my thoughts. Sometimes I feel he wants to tell me but then chooses not to. Understandable really, that's not a business he ever needs to tell me. Yet I had to wonder if he even has anyone to talk about it with? He can't talk to his aunt because part of his death is likely involved with his powers.
I'm like the only one he can technically talk to, but I don't want to be. I…I don't really want to be responsible to hear that side. Because if I do, then it means we'll get closer, and I don't want that. It makes me downright selfish and an asshole myself…But I just rather…Keep that space between us far away enough where we're just acquaintances, and I know he respects that, "Yeah… How come you're bringing him up? I'm not doing anything of the sort with him since it was just that one time," I both lied and brought up. It's not good to lie to her, but it's better this way to help die down whatever conversation is still floating around between him and I.
This also includes Liz.
Liz quickly shook her head, "No it's not that…I…Look whatever business you had with Peter is not something I want to touch, especially if…What people said are true about what also happened afterwards with Hector."
"Liz, you know it's true. Don't deny it, but again, I'm not doing anything with him," I said, making myself seem unconcerned about the whole thing, and also, lying once more
"Who cares what others say, or..What people have seen! I don't, and I can't ever just believe you'll do something like that to hurt Hector…Not without a clear reason," she added.
"Not without a clear reason huh…" I muttered repeatedly before biting in my food again, "...We had our ups and downs, we knew we weren't going to stay together after high school…But there wasn't no cause in me for hurting him like I did Liz," I turn to her, catching her frown as I felt the same, "I appreciate you for trying to be concern for me Liz…But you don't need to keep trying to be my friend here or defend my actions. I fucked up, simple as that."
"Fuck that! We have known each other since we were kids! I left for a time and guess what? I came back and boom! We were talking like nothing ever happened..Why would I abandon you knowing others haven't had a clue of what you're going through? That they'll just…Simply point at the thing you went through, and it was the reason why you acted out, that you cheated on Hector, you left your hockey team, you skipped classes and such…" Liz briefly looked away before returning her gaze to me, "..Others could give up, but I don't want to…Not when you've become…So alone."
I couldn't help but scoff at Liz's will to still be my friend, even when I know I can hurt her or disappoint her as I did to others. This is why I felt she doesn't deserve me, and it really bugs the hell out of me knowing she also had been crushing on Peter for some time. How could she just take my word that Peter and I have nothing going on?
Doesn't she care or know the fact that I could be lying? Why is she risking her own self to be caught in my web just for her to eventually get hurt? I wanna call her stupid…But it's not that…She's just a good person, better than me and better than others.
I really don't deserve her, and I'm trying to push her away, but she won't budge. Even I just told her that yes, I cheated on Hector, I fucked up, she still wants to be my friend, "..I never understood why you hold that level of trust in me like that Liz."
"Because again, I know you, maybe not the you now, but…I know you enough that you wouldn't just…Be in this position without other sources hurting you, and you're alone dealing with all that."
"...I'm not so alone. You make it seem like I'm a depressed bitch with issues," I noted before stuffing myself with mashed potato.
Least my snide comment got her to chuckle, "You surely both sound and look like one," I glared at her, and she only giggled more, "Don't look at me like that, I am right! You don't have the glow, nor the level of care you used to have when coming to school. I mean, your hair is all over the place for one! And it's not the good kind after a hockey game mind you. Might as well add some black mascara, make your eyeliners dark, paint your nails bla-"
"Now you're just draggin it Liz," I said, letting out a small snort.
"Hey, you're close as hell to being both goth and emo," I then pouted at her direction and she held up her hand, "Just sayin'."
"Whatever. I like being like this anyhow," I saw her eyes rolling and shaking her head at the same time. Before I knew it, I was already finished with my plate of food and was already looking at Liz's for seconds, "You gonna finish your's?" I asked.
"Damn girl! How are you not fat?" She questioned when passing her plate of food that she was half eating, "I easily get full from just a few bites of food compared to you."
"I was on the hockey team, remember?" I said, a small smirk being lifted.
"Yeah, but you've quit so I wonder how you still keep yourself in shape?" my answer was a simple shrug, "..Heck, I find myself wondering what you're even up to these days? You're barely around to hang out before senior year starts. Not since," I caught her eyes glancing away from me, "Well you know."
I do know. An asshole of a scientist wanting my DNA to tinker out the clones of Peter since I too was bitten by the same spider that gave Peter his powers. Yeah, I know, "Liz, I'm fine. Spider-Man saved my behind and I'm not dead. I'm stuffing myself full of food and I'm living my best life!"
Her eyebrows shrewd, "That sarcasm is not helping you."
"Too on the nose?"
"No, it just doesn't suit you Cin," I stick out my tongue in response, getting her to giggle and for me to smile more. I won't lie, I do like the fact that while I don't have the same social group anymore, I do still have Liz Allen to cheer me up. Deep down with how much I want her to stay away from me, I can't help but relish how beneficial her positive demeanor is for me, "Anyways, I'm thinking of trying to get with Peter anyhow."
This got me to almost choke on the chicken as I quickly drank the water Liz also brought for me, "S-say what now?" I asked, surprised she outright told me my assumption was correct.
She shrugs her shoulders as she has her hands on her cheek, "He's a busy man. More of an adult than most guys I've dated. Goes to school, work, helps his aunt, sure…I know about that situation you too had..." I then saw her smile curling up even more, "But I'm gonna take your word and believe nothing is going on with you too. And if that's the case, why would I not try to go out with a guy like that?" She asked me.
That's when my own smile dropped. I should tell her that he isn't in a position to date her. I should tell her we still have something going on even if it's not up to us. I should tell her something, anything at all, it would make me a good friend so she wouldn't have her heart broken.
But my mouth remains shut. How can I tell her that Peter and I have some type of bond that makes us sex crazy for one another? Or how do I tell her besides people knowing a bit of what is going on, that all the shit I'm dealing with ties to my kidnapping? How do I tell her that the position I'm in wasn't my fault?
How do I tell her if I hadn't got randomly bit by the same spider that did the same to Peter, I would still be a good friend to her?
The easy answer is I couldn't tell her none of this, but I can at least try swaying her judgment of going out with Peter, "From the bit of what I know of his circumstance Liz, he has a lot on his plate. Do you really think he would have time to go out with you? Plus, I bet your friends wouldn't go out with a person that not only keeps to himself, but likely who is a man whore as they said."
She eyeroll and scoffs, "Fuck them. I date who I want, and if I get burned, then I learn from it. It's how dating works and it shouldn't be toyed with by other people outside of those relationships. Furthermore, I know damn well you don't believe Peter is a man whore anyhow…" Her mouth betrayed her gaze, one that had doubt in her comment, "..He isn't, is he?" Just as she questions, her confidence wasn't up to par as it was a second ago.
I ended up shrugging my shoulders again, "As I mentioned before, the moments I did have sex with him I didn't really get into his personal life. After our shit got spread around, we quickly just made sure not to do it anymore. He was there for me, I was there for him, things happen, simple as that, and we drop it easily," I explain, a way to make sure Liz understands that my relationship with Peter isn't all that was rumored to be, "And either way, those friends of mines didn't stick around when they heard I cheated on Hector, or that Sally help intensify the rumor she heard, then wham!" I added a clap, getting her to jump slightly from the suddenness, "No one looks at me the same way, just another popular slut that would likely screw other girls' boyfriends behind their back."
"Hey!" she slaps my shoulder, "I hate when you think little of yourself like that! You're not that person!"
It was my turn to eyeroll and groan, I'm getting tired of Liz's optimism and naivety because again, she doesn't really know the me now. And I want her to just…Leave me be, but she doesn't and won't do that, and I deep down don't want her to, "Liz, just stop ok? Leave me to self loath knowing that what I've done is what I am. If people think I'm a slut, regardless of the reason for it? Then so be it. I can't change people's opinion about me no matter how hard I've tried since senior year started."
She wanted to respond, she desperately wanted to argue back and denounced what I've said. I can tell how annoyed she was getting because of me, but she could only sigh and relented at letting me loath. If it helps her, she's one of the few people I can talk to like this, anyone else I give the cold shoulder as the old Cindy isn't around anymore.
The one that was smart, helpful, and all-around caring girl out to go to Oxford. It's crazy how one event changed me for the worst.
Kidnap.
Spider powers.
Peter and I.
Hector…Saw us.
Got caught again.
Spread amongst the school.
Oxford rejected me.
Drop all my activities because of my powers.
All my friends just ditch me in the dust.
And now? I'm still dealing with the fallout of it all.
I don't know how to get out of this slump I'm in, or if there's a point of getting out in the long haul. But I don't want to keep making this about me and shit. My problems shouldn't bother Liz, and I don't like being overly negative around her. She's so bright and positive that I should be far away in the end, "You really want Peter?" Her answer was a nod, a slow one at that, "Just know that he tends to be late to things, a lot actually."
Liz would snort, "I hear that from Jameson due my internship at the bugle. But hey! Every man, just like every woman, has flaws. Would be boring if they were just perfect."
Indeed, it would, wouldn't?
Complicated (Peter)
Ok let's see...
Phone bill is coming up once again so I should take care of that.
Gotta make sure Aunt May has enough for the mortgage just in case.
Also, should put more money aside for electric and gas bills.
Need to buy stuff to make more web fluids.
And of course, grocery.
Which leaves me… Ugh, my lip curled downwards at calculating what little money I would have just because of all the responsibilities I'm putting on my shoulder or at least have been doing for quite some time. At best, I'll only have thirty dollars in my name alone after I make sure that bills are properly paid, food is stored in my house, and web shooters have functional fluid for my traversal.
Man… I let my hand ruffle my hair as I then pat my notebook on my forehead. It's not nice being broke these days, and on days like this, I wish Uncle Ben was still around to help Aunt May and I. Her job as a surgeon could only cover so much and my job at the bugle only pays so much if I crunch in the hours helping their computers and stacking up the photos of me swinging around punching costume guys or gals that want to get rich fast or do something worse with their powers.
What's even harder is how many hours I can't exactly crunch when there isn't much to do. I want to be more in the bugle, but at the same time, how can I level up when I'm also busy having to jet to be, well Spider-Man. And it's not to mention I have to get home for not only school, but just so my Aunt May doesn't find out that part of my life.
But I can't deny the fact of how much senior year has made it easier to balance everything out compared to the three years I've been Spider-Man. Part of that involves Cindy, but sometimes I feel I need to check in on her just in case. I don't know if my senses, hormones, pheromones, whichever is the case, I don't know if either of them is the one doing it, but I still feel the need to be around her.
Part of it is because of me wanting to be responsible, but I also know part of me wants to have sex with her. I truly try to keep myself from thinking the latter since she's only been doing this for four and a half months, but part of knowing who you are is to be aware of those kinds of thoughts.
And well, my spider senses that links with her made me a sex craze machine.
But! On the bright side, senior year allows a breath of fresh air of not getting stuff in a locker room.
Except today that is.
Dang it all.
It was the usual crew with Jason who decided that hey! Let's get puny Parker into his locker again while his back is turned. And meanwhile even when I knew what they were gonna do, I still let it happen.
I might've done it a few times in the past, but I can't just let people know that I can take down people a peg or two with ease.
And you think people would be high fiving you for being able to get with one of the popular girls. That when they mock you for having no game, charisma, awkward to a heart, and even presuming you're gay? It should be the case of all types of guys being amazed by the game you have.
But no, not for me and my Parker luck. it just means you're untrustworthy when that popular girl had a boyfriend at the time. Which is fair but isn't quite fair when you were put in a position you had no control of, let alone with a girl that also couldn't control herself even if she wanted to.
I got to ask God if he just loves playing a sick game involving me having the worst luck out here. I mean, I've always complained how stuff that happens to me isn't fair, that why I of all people has to deal with those sorts of things. And then I don't get the answer, or the proper answer I want, and the only answer I ever really get was…It's just how it is.
It is what it is, not it is what it was.
I snorted, knowing for a fact I never thought I would get in a situation where I'm a homewrecker. My Aunt and Uncle raise me to be better than that! And yet, it didn't matter anyhow! Then again, is it really my fault when it involves my spider powers being connected, and going out of whack due to another person? Is it really though?
I sighed, letting my notebook hit my forehead again. Being Spider-Man isn't easy, just as being a simple eighteen-year-old who's gonna graduate soon from Midtown High isn't also easy. But what makes it so hard is that every year, or in general, something happens to make my life ever more complicated.
Thank God that somehow, I can be relaxed, comfortable inside this locker room even when I shouldn't be due to my muscles. Maybe it has something to do with my flexibility? Or just being used to it by this point? Either way, I didn't bother asking for help to get out since I could do it for myself. It used to be the janitor, the teachers, or Charlie in the past before the powers, and if I was lucky, maybe having an extra string and clip to unlock the locker.
But now because of my powers, I just wait till the bell rings to bust out of here. I would have to use my webbing to unlock it so I don't end up breaking it, again..
In the meantime, I gotta find a way to get more hours in the bugle while at the same time, finding time to still be a web slinging hero, and make it home for sleep so I can go to school the next day, or at least making sure May knows I'm home and not out late again. I found myself sighing once more since deep down, it should be easier because of Cindy. Or the fact that there are other heroes in New York City, but none are like me watching the city almost twenty-four seven.
Besides, Daredevil has been MIA, heroes for hire are…as named, Doctor Strange is always off to some other worldly place to spend time in the sanctum sanctorum, except for Wong that is, same with the fantastic four, the X-men doesn't always have business in the city, less it involves the brotherhood, and the avengers are elsewhere as always. So, it's often just me to keep the city under watch.
A highly stressful job with no pay with an also high probability of gray hair growth.
With the city being under my protection, I can't trust Cindy all the way to leave her to do it for herself just yet. She can handle the small-time crooks, even some of my rogue's, but not all of them that I've been building for the past three years.
Shocker should be easy, same with chameleon and Puma. But people like Octavious? Scorpion? Beetle? Sandman? Hydroman? Electro? Vulture? Lizard? Even Kraven and Iguana just to name the few? She needs more experience before she takes those guys on by herself.
But if I keep holding her hands, then she'll never learn for herself. Oi….Being a teacher is hard. I now understand why Daredevil always gets a headache with me.
I just don't want Cindy to get hurt, nor killed, heck, I don't want her to hurt someone to the point she does kill, because then it would be on me. She may not like how much I keep an eye on her, even outside of her being Silk, but she is overall, my responsibility to look after her. Problem is, I can't tell if it's me talking, or my spider sense just wants me to have a one-on-one steamy session with her.
That part in itself complicates everything between us, and it's why even now for the past five months, we can't be on the same page a good portion of the time.
Seem's she is away from Midtown high, I'm thinking, or feeling her, more towards Manhattan. God it feels weird I know that, or how my spider sense has been operating around her. It's very strange that I can get a read of her emotions; like when she's annoyed, angry, wanting to be away from me, wanting to..Do it with me, and wishing she can be normal? Knowing all that… I wish I could do something, not the sex part, but something to help her. Yet it's hard when she's too stubborn and our hormones just goes…Wild when we're close. Man…Complication upon complication…. Didn't need this when becoming a legal adult six months ago. And I know she too didn't ask for this.
I soon heard the bell ring, meaning it was high time I got out of here, but before I did, someone opened the locker for me, "Wow..! By now I would've thought you figured out how to get out of here for yourself brainiac," said Midtown's best quarterback by the name of Eugene Thompson, or how most people and he himself prefers it, Flash Thompson, "Since I'm no longer the one doing this on a weekly basis," he said as if he's a jester of sorts.
I eyeroll as I scoot myself out of the locker room, "I happen to make it my cave anyhow no thanks to you."
"Hey, I back off from the Monday to Friday of taking care of puny Parker," even when he was talking to me, he couldn't help but smirk at the girls passing him by as they gave him a once over. Flash had the height, the muscular build from playing football, the blond straight hair that color resembles strawberry, and those blue eyes that would've had almost every girl cream at the sight. I won't lie how that charm he had on girls used to make me jealous, especially since he always had that quirk since I knew him back in middle school. But nowadays, I don't exactly worry about appealing to a girl's eyes. I'm just far too busy trying to keep my life together in the nutshell then trying to get a girl's digits, "Plus I have no control over Jason and his pal's if they wanna take over where I left off."
"And I'm not asking you too," I respond back while closing the locker behind me, revealing the many penis drawings my locker has, "Five more months and we'll all go our separate ways into the big world of being an adult. Now, is there anything else you want? Maybe you wanna give me an atomic wedgie?"
Flash scoffed at that, "I told you I'm done with all that crap Parker so stop being an ass about it. I gotta focus on my one-way ticket into the big leagues and I can't be stupid right now like I was before," he mentioned as he jabbed his thumb to himself.
Self-centered as always, but he had a point of me being an ass. It's hard not to be when you've spent the better part of five years dealing with harassment, and coming from a person who you were once friends with, then out of nowhere, switch up due to having better friends, "Hm, so you say."
I would then walk away from Flash seeing as there wasn't much else to talk about, "How about a thank you?!" He shouted.
"You're welcome!" Was all that I responded back, probably got him flabbergasted anyhow.
I made it to my classroom, the teacher wasn't here yet, so I had time to maybe figure out my money problem. Though, no matter how much loophole's I try to find it wouldn't solve my number one issue of just being broke. Maybe I could sell some of my crazy ideas for the inventions I had in mind that I whipped up from my three years of crime fighting.
But…Then it would mean revealing my identity that I am Spider-Man. Which is not on the table, and I'm already once again breaking the promise I have on Aunt May. No more secrets huh… I sucked my teeth as I lay my chin on my arms on top of my notebook.
All the more secrets to have so I don't end up worrying her. And yet, she still worries about me. Part of me wants to tell her, tell her everything; from the spider bite to my selfishness going through the roof, to learning to have responsibilities with my powers, to why I'm late and disappearing a lot of times, to basically everything.
I want to so badly tell her… But she's been through so much, and I can't add that weight on her. She's not made of glass, but I so desperately want to, need to, spare her from that added stress. It may paint me in a bad light, but it's for her own good.
"What's gotten you in a slump Petey?" I could only know one person who would call me and just so happen making it sound sweet and weird all the same.
I lifted my head to look at Liz, smiling at me on the left as she sat on a table, "Oh you know, the usual boring stuff involving school and such," she raised her eyebrow at my comment. Ok, that means she doesn't believe me then, crikey, "Not buying that huh?" She shakes her head, still holding her smile as I lift myself up to stretch my arms just a bit, yawning slightly because four hours of sleep with added morning patrol doesn't do wonders on me, "Just stuff I gotta worry about, no biggie," I told her with a small smile of my own I gave to her.
"Well, you shouldn't worry in general," she said as she pushed some of the strands from her auburn hair away from her eyelids. My eyes slightly avert from staring too long, after all, Liz was a beautiful girl that everyone wants to be with since she isn't dating Flash anymore, "This should be the year where you go out! Have fun! Enjoy the last year of this crazy school year before we transition into another chaotic stage in our life!"
I chuckle at the truth she had in her meaning. I wish I could find enjoyment that she tells me I should have, but there isn't much enjoyment when you're a part time superhero while juggling being a decent nephew, a worker, and even a student. Oh! And let's not forget another superhero you have to worry about for her own protection, and she just so happens isn't here in school.
Guess she has the right idea to put some more distance between us, so we don't be horny rabbits in school…For our own sake and whatever reputation we have left here, "I very much do go out I'll have you know," I pointed out to her as if I was offended.
She giggled, "And do what?" I pouted, trying to think as my hand scratched behind my head, making her giggle more, "So not much then. Let me guess," She began tapping her finger upon her chin, "Go to the library to study, help me or even Cindy with some help on our study's individually, and work at the bugle? Am I right?"
"Ok first off, you have an internship in the bugle anyhow, secondly, yes I do study in the library…Occasionally, thirdly yes I do help you with your studies so you can pass your SAT, and lastly, I don't know what you're talking about since Cindy and I haven't exactly been around one another for some time," I said with the utmost confidence on the last bit, even it was a lie, "It's better that way anyhow."
"So, you just confirm that you don't do much when you have time on your own."
"Pretty much yeah."
"And trust me, while I know why that's the case, you still took the time to help Cindy after…" She suddenly frowned and had her arms across all of sudden, "...She was kidnapped by some maniac... She hasn't exactly been the same ever since that happened, especially with what happened to her and Hector once senior year started...Involving you of that matter too. But I rather believe the two broke up before you two had y'all thing going on.."
I too found myself frowning. I noticed how slightly uncomfortable Liz got on the last part, but she also was right on the money when it came to Cindy's sudden characteristic shift. Sure, we never were the closest, at one point I despised her just as she did me before the spider bite. But I know like most, Cindy was very much an outgoing person, willing to help others with a smile, do her best in everything, and even give me a run for my money when it comes to being Midtown's best and brightest.
Then things took a turn for the worst when the former Oscorp scientist, Miles Warren went all Jackal crazy and decided to kidnap her after discovering about our powers. I know the kidnapping did a number on her, then the powers terrified her, then…Well, our pheromones came about that had a hand in destroying her relationship with her ex, a few number things that contributed into her change, and then finally having her reputation going down the drain from someone recording us doing the deed in school.
Not the…Finest moments we had, nor our spider senses weren't on high alert like this morning.
Heck, my senses are slightly tingling right now, and it's probably due to some of Liz's popular friends, staring hard at my back as I talk to Liz. Sure, I wasn't cared for, nor like in terms of my social status, but that leak only seemed to have more people detest me more than before…
The worst part is that Cindy and I don't know who leaked it, nor recorded it. Whoever did it was smart enough to spread it around but not spread it too much where the teachers knew about it. I made sure to delete it once I managed to find whatever server it was on for people to watch. Unlike me, who doesn't have many friends in school, Cindy took it the hardest, and it seemed a lot of people blamed her kidnapping as to why she had the sudden shift in who she is.
It doesn't give an excuse for the behavior to the eyes who don't know more about what is going on with Cindy. But the outright fact that her world crumbled so fast and effortlessly, where she too had to give up on a lot of things because of her powers? It just only worsened her already bad mental state. And then people ended up twisting and turning her trauma into a motivation of being a woman that would not only cheat on her boyfriend, but likely would go behind a person back to nab another woman's boyfriend.
They aren't wrong to assume that, because again, it's not like it's out of the realm of possibility. Or the fact she simply got closer to someone, and one thing led to the next. However, no one knows the real reason why Cindy cheated on Hector with me, why she dropped all her activities that had nothing to do with the cheating or kidnaping, hell, they can't know anyhow. It's sad that from one little event, cause everyone she used to be friends with, to turn on her, paint a picture that she isn't, and while telling people what really caused this situation may potentially fix things.
It really wouldn't.
Cause one, no one would believe the pheromones and hormones part. Two, they may believe the spider powers, but we live in a time where people will freak out and stay away from those who are designated as mutants in the eyes of others. And three, it'll cause harm to her family. Because who knows what person wants to hear that kind of information and use that to their advantage.
And they'll pounce on her when I'm not there to protect her.
It's sad that we're in the same boat, and even more sad that she's handling everything a lot more negatively than I had when I started using my powers more responsibly. I'm used to being the guy that people would not only ignore, but didn't have many people to call friends, easily got picked on, but also not necessarily having the choice to live a normal life unlike Cindy. Cindy's situation is more…Complicated. She had those friends, she had people to rely on, she had her own group, almost everyone loved her in Midtown High. I try to show her, to make her understand we're in the same boat, that our powers took away certain choices, certain opportunities we could've had. But we still have a choice, and our power doesn't have to be treated like a curse, even when it technically is. Yet… I learn how stubborn Cindy is into not wanting to listen.
Therefore…She sadly chooses to deal with this on her own, just to avoid our hormones acting up.
Sure, I don't want to always keep doing that with Cindy, but often than not, I tell her what can we do to control it? I don't even know how to help her when our senses go haywire for each other, and we could end up in another situation where people record our time together…
Sometimes I wonder what Liz thinks about me when she finds out what Cindy and I do behind the public eye? Especially me being a homewrecker. Does she view me as some type, what's the word? Fuck boy? That I go around, looking for who I want, and lie about what I do behind a person's back? Doesn't seem so, because she wants to talk to me…Hell, she never stopped when we started to interact sometime in late sophomore year… Women's work in mysterious ways honestly..
Maybe if Cindy was never kidnapped, I could've had the courage to ask her out with how close we've gotten, but my luck just likes to make my life more complicated than it is already, "...Yeah, I just simply," I shrug, "Offer where I can to help. I kind of get where she's at; how a traumatic situation can not only make you push people away, but make you lonely since no one can understand what you went through… Though, I think it's not enough."
"I feel the same way," she said with a hint of bitterness, "I feel like I'm not doing enough to help her out of this funk. But it's hard since she's not being…Open, and I don't want to force her anyhow. I'm just glad she hasn't further pushed me away than she's already trying too."
My eyes couldn't help but look at Liz, who was just trying to be a thoughtful friend regardless of how Cindy has been treating her, "All I could say is…Just keep doing what you're doing. She'll come around, eventually."
A small smile came up to her lip as she nodded, "Completely right. Anyways, moving on from that grim topic. You got any plans later?" She asked, with a slight tilt in her head, and inch herself a little closer to me.
"Oh uh…" I again found my hands itching behind my hair, "I know work and some other stuff I gotta do."
Her eyes rolled and she shook her head, somehow still not losing her smile even if it seemed like it might've annoyed her a little bit, "You always have somewhere to be. Hope they're important."
"They definitely are, like bugle for instance."
"Well…" She got off her table and leaned closer to me. It had me moving just a bit away with how suddenly close she made herself to be in front of me, "Try to have a more flexible schedule. We should hang out sometime other than studying together," she said, straying a bit of her hair away from her eyelids
I can feel my cheeks warm at the intention behind her meaning, a date perhaps. As much as I really want to, and God knows I really do want to go out with Liz since she's single and ready to mingle, but I absolutely can't.
One, Spider-Man tends to muddle up relationships, such as my time with Betty Brant from the bugle. We're still friends but always disappearing when I was supposed to spend time with her, not to mention, her brother passing away some time ago led to more problematic problems between us. I just couldn't be around her, and I had to be honest that I wouldn't be a good boyfriend overall if I kept suddenly ditching her like that. She understood, but she was hurt…Hurt bad that it's still awkward to strike up a conversation with her at work. However, things are clearing up, slowly but surely, I guess...
Two, Cindy. I know from her end she made it clear that she wants nothing to do with me, or at least, not anymore public wise. But once more, behind closed doors, we still have our moments when the urge, hormones, pheromones, senses, all these things just make us get together and have sex. We can put distance, try to resist it, and it's not like it doesn't work, but sometimes it just doesn't. And while I won't lie, sometimes it's an amazing experience, an intoxicating one even to have, but it just means whatever relationship I want to have will suffer from this.
Cindy's ex, Hector, suffered from our problems we still can't control. Saying sorry to him wasn't enough either, but than again, I know sorry wouldn't be good enough since he caught Cindy and I red-handed that day. Due to that moment alone, I don't want someone like Liz to ever experience that.
And three, Liz will end up getting hurt in more ways than one. If it isn't my odd relationship with Cindy, it's how Spider-Man can intersect on my normal life pretty easily. Liz already went through an ordeal with her stepbrother getting powers and becoming Molten man, making it my job to stop him from stealing from others to get rich fast with his skin fully inflamed and using pyrokinesis abilities too. I don't want to have to put her through any more problems because of me. I know Mark wasn't my fault, but with what happened with Betty, and what's happening with Cindy and I, I don't want my own luck to end up hurting her.
Before I could say anything, our teacher had finally decided to show up, "Ok ok ok! Enough chitter chat with your peers!" The somewhat elderly looking teacher spoke from the back and to the front of the class.
I heard Liz's small giggle, "Saved by the bell, or teacher anyhow," she then shook her head, her little bangs and locks flowing left and right, "You have some luck Peter I swear."
My only response was a timid chuckle as she went to sit with her friends in the back, leaving me alone which was good, in a way. With class starting, it was time for another dose of Mr. Sim's philosophy teachings about whatever he wants to get out today in this new semester. It was odd for a man who looked like he could be pushing sixty was able to move rather effortlessly, almost nimble like, while being quick enough to flip a chalk in his hand and catch it without looking so he can write down one word.
Destiny.
My eyes couldn't help but roll and seethe at that one little word. Maybe it's because MW kept telling me about those words whenever she and I crossed paths, or it's because of the book we had started reading this week. All the same, the word destiny is a subject I don't like, "New topic today," Mr. Sims said while brushing his gray hair back with his hands. Gotta gives it to the guy, he knows how to dress well with a black and green suit on and a pair of…
…Timms?! In my own opinion as a person who has some fashion sense, that doesn't mix well with the color of his suit! But what do I know? Some people would think it makes him look stylish more than anything, "What do we think of it?"
No one really answered, or wanted to answer, and knowing me, I raised my hands to volunteer, "Not you Peter for infinite time. Though it's very good you're here on time finally. Can't say the same for Ms. Moon," the sentence alone woke up the classroom as some chuckled, causing me to frown slightly at his mockery, "Eugene."
"Flash, actually."
Mr. Simm's yawn with clear indication it was more fake than anything, "Yeah yeah, anyways," now it was the classroom to laugh at Midtown's top quarterback, "What do you think of destiny?"
I look across to see what Flash's answer would be, "I think…Uhhh…"
Mr. Simm would lean his back on his own table while having his hand in his pocket. He looked not only bored but impatient. It was his fault anyhow since I could've got the ball running easier than Flash. He's not exactly the brightest of the bunch, "Do you know what destiny means Eugene?"
I can see how Flash is getting tired of being called by his real name, he has a habit of grinding his teeth when it comes to that. But I know he's going to have to suck it in for another five months. It was funny that he can't do much about it and avoiding this class would hurt his chance to graduate, "Yes of course Mr. Simms. It involves fate and stuff, something to be…What was it..Preordained," I wanted to let out a crackle at how Mr. Simm's eyebrow raised quickly at Flash using a word such as preordained. Flash could throw a football from a long distance without any powers, but when it comes to his studies, he sure could still use a lot of work. So, it's surprising when he uses words like that just from the mere thinking, "For me, it's hard to think about that when I don't exactly believe in it, Mr. Simm's."
"And prey tail, why don't you believe in destiny?" Mr. Simms rebutted with a question of his own.
"Because nothing is set and stone for us," he boldly said, using the confidence he's known for, "For all I know, I could break my kneecap again and screw up my last chance for that ESU scholarship. But I know it won't happen."
"But it could, could it not?"
I took note how Flash's lips twitch, almost griming and even hating the idea of that. For the past four years he's been putting football as the very thing that can propel him to success, and if there's anything to go on from what I see from time to time, I do hope he makes it. Regardless of how I feel about him, "..Yes, but I won't let it happen, not when I know what's at stake if I fu- screw it up."
"Hm, good on you Eugene," Flash found himself sucking his teeth that can be heard no matter how quiet he tried to make it, "Anyone else who wants to provide their thoughts on destiny, other than Mr. Parker," he single me out before I raised my hand, knowing the fact everyone stayed quiet, or had their heads in the cloud. If there was one thing I quickly learned about Ezekiel, it was how he despises working in classes like this. Quiet, no one participating, and people like me having to do the bulk of the talking, unless he gets a volunteer, "Yes yes, last class of the day I know, everyone can't wait to go home or is already home since some like to skip my class. But beyond that, I know everyone here can't wait to be an adult, is that right? To be free from parents? Siblings? To have your own independence? You could say," he began pacing around the room with his hands behind his back, "It's our own destiny to feel that way. To want to strive to be our own person without the watchful eyes from the people we love. As I somewhat agree with Flash; how nothing is ever predetermined, nor is it to be fated. However, in my own belief, I believe how destiny has its own little web tangle around us. It finds certain things to come together and allows events to transpire in the most oddity of timing."
If I could, I would snore at this part of the class. All this destiny and fate talk isn't just something I can't get into or believe. I know my aunt is more in favor of her Christian belief, in a sense, I have my moments where I ask God why I have the life I have now, I can't afford to believe in destiny. By believing in that, it means I was fated to get bit by the spider, use it selfishly, and let down my uncle in the process.
It just means he was meant to die so I can learn the responsibility of what these powers should be used for. To that end, I became Spider-man because of it. By believing in destiny, it means I have to come to terms with that, and I can't, I can't believe that I was meant to lose my uncle because of my own selfishness.
I saw Mr. Sim gesture to someone to speak, turning my back. I saw Liz had her hand raised, "So, you're saying that while we make our own faith, something still plays around the events we take part in? Doesn't that contradict your statement Mr. Sims?" She asked curiously.
Mr. Sims had a small grin that appeared on face, now interested in what seemed like someone arguing his case on destiny, beyond me that is, "It does doesn't it? As what I always tell myself is that something happens for a reason, while something happens before our own making," I found it odd how his eyes directed to me in his last sentence. It could obviously mean nothing, but still, odd. His eyes went back to focus on Liz, "Doesn't matter if we are the one's controlling our actions. We live in a crazy world that puts into question if God truly exists, or some magical being is god himself that may potentially have control on the events that transpire on our path. Whatever is looking down upon us or wherever they may be, something does have a play in our path to wherever we're heading too," I frown at the type of argument he was making, enough so that I raised my hands to at least give my own thoughtful response. Mr. Sims eyeroll and groans, "Fine! If you so please Peter, amuse us with whatever it is you want to get off your chest."
Again, the classroom laughed and giggled at Mr. Sim's antagonistic behavior towards me. Similar to Flash, I found it annoying how Mr. Sim's tone was always towards me, like he detests me for some reason. Maybe it was because for one, he's not fond of whatever it is I say, "I don't buy it-"
"Course you don't," he said, cutting me off, "For the past five months since I've known you, you never buy what I say, Peter."
I bit my lip, stopping myself from wanting to launch an unthoughtful response as if I'm talking smack to a junkie wanting to rob an old lady for money. It didn't help that the class was having a ball with how Mr. Sim's replied with a snarky tone, "You're basically saying no matter good or bad, whatever decision we make isn't up to us, that the outcome is ruled out by someone who has power over those events."
"And why don't you believe in that Peter? If the likes of Nikolai can believe that there are various gods, deities amongst the living, why can't you?"
"Difference is Nikolai isn't above grounding how philosophy comes from the eye of us as people," I said, countering his question, "Sure, it's more of spiritual eye view compared to the science part, but he himself believes that whatever had God lay upon the earth was ours's to choose, ours's to value, our own freedom. It's there, where his focus lies on the fact in my opinion, he doesn't believe in destiny or God. That there's no higher being who has their ways of pulling strings to cause an effect on our life. Especially when he dives into the mortality sides of good and bad. In the end, we all have to just try our best with the cards we are dealt with, and it has nothing to do with destiny, fate, or God having a hand in it."
After finishing my argument from Mr. Sim's perspective, he had a long look at me. This wasn't the first time we had our back and talked, in fact he's the one that usually instigates it. It's almost like he wants me to argue his perspective or something because it just seems so out there. Yes, there are being's that are beyond this world, crosses to other worlds, dimensions, planes of existence and so forth. But none of those powerful beings ever had the ability to control what lies before, what path we're on, and the choices we make.
Not to say I hate his perspectives or anyone who sides with him, but I don't agree with it. Because then where's the free choice? If everything is preordained, then where is our own freedom in the midst of it all?
After his long stare at me, with the whole classroom being uncomfortably silent, Mr. Sim nodded in my direction while still holding his small grin in place, "Good point, now then, let's get back where we left off. Other than Peter here who read Nikolai's work about ten times."
While some of the people in the classroom giggle at his jesters, he's wrong that I read it ten times over. I actually read it three times…Might have to read it the fourth time to digest all that properly.
It is a good read though. Something I should take more notes on in the 4th read.
To Come
The man known as Mr. Simms was driving through the streets of the Midtown side of Manhattan. It wasn't too long ago he finished up his last class, and then he got an urgent call of sorts from someone of interest.
One that has him working as a schoolteacher of all things.
His thumb kept tapping on the wheel as he waited for traffic to clear. His bored expression was clear as the day that not even the music he was playing on the radio was taking away his boredom, 'Would be so much easier on foot, but noooo…Today's era would just snap a pic of me and blast me as a mutant or another hero and such,' Mr. Simm sighed, looking at his window as he saw the crowded the streets of Manhattan blistering with many people of many different cultures, 'Time has change in a way to accept all this. But when you see it all, you know that there isn't true kind of peace, but yet, I won't deny this,' finally, he was able to keep moving and go to where he needed to be, 'We're in age where there's real change, big change with a lot more powerful people on this earth, and yet, we as people still deal with the same common issues amongst us.'
'In the end, no one is ever good, someone will always be selfish for something or someone. Everyone has something that makes them just as bad as the others they would put down.'
Reaching the location between 43 street and 11th avenue, he would park near a large apartment building, one that has a great view of the Hudson River that was nearby. He, however, didn't bother with the front entrance. Instead, Mr. Sim went around the corner that had an alleyway, took off his timm's as he left on the side, and leapt from one small building before leaping again to a nearby window where he used, not only his hands and feet to stick on the but use his strength to open the window that was locked. He quietly maneuvered to whoever was in this apartment building, seeing as he heard a shower running and the constant pleasuring moans with giggles going in the back.
Exiting without a noise, he would take the nearby stairs and didn't bother to either run or walk it. He again leapt to a railing, flipping to one another, then bouncing to a wall where he scaled to the highest level and backflip, landing without a hitch. He fixed his clothing up first, 'Good thing the cameras are wonky here. Someone should fix it.'
He would then go to the specific apartment, 30-D to be exact, and open with a key while closing it behind him. Here, there was nothing but a window displaying the vast, clear blue water of the Hudson River. He put his hand in his pocket, "Cassandra, I'm here."
It was then an astral projection blipped into existence in front of Mr. Sim, revealing an elderly woman, much older than him, sitting on a chair that was represented as a spider. The woman that was Cassandra had a red band wrapped around her eyes, wore a simple red dress with a white spider outline to where her leg is, arms, and shoulders are at. Behind her was something else though.
A web that displayed different versions but familiar all the same of Spider-man and Silk. They were moving in motion, showcasing them fighting, living, but also even dying in some of them by various villains, "Ezekiel..You took your time."
"Being normal tends to do that," he mentioned with a jester tone, "Been a while Webb, better up front than you talking to me in my head for the past several months. And you look different when I last saw you oh a century ago, give or take."
"Have you had interactions with them?" Cassandra Webb asked with her hands folded together, ignoring his sarcasm coming into place.
"If you call constantly arguing with one as I get more and more perspective on him while the other comes as they please to avoid the other?" Ezekiel scoffed, "No, and I shouldn't have anything to do with them Cassandra. Why am I spending months trying to establish something with them when I don't want to? And give it to me straight this time since I'm repaying a debt I owe you."
"He will come," the second she said that word, the web changed; like a touch of water creating motions on the river, the web behind her showcased a being draining various versions of Spider-Man and Silk.
Ezekiel's body stiffened just from those three words and from seeing that being. He took a step back as he rubbed his lips, "...We buried him, we used rituals to keep him buried. Are yo-"
"What do you think, Ezekiel?" Her voice was raised slightly. Behind her chair, the astro web showed more of the monstrous power this being, this man, was capable of. He was brimming with orange, fiery color in his eyes as he drained the lives of multiple versions of Spider-man and Silk, various other costume hero's as well, and In doing so, leaving some to only a skeleton of their former self. But they were other parts of the web, showcasing Spider-Man succeeding in defeating him, showcasing Silk being successful in defeating him, or both being able to defeat as well.
Essentially, the astro web demonstrated the balance of things that may, or may not happen in this reality, "We stopped him temporarily, but we both know he would rise again and this time, he will try to kill not only you, but those two, those two who are our last hope for this world's survival."
"Then we'll bury him again!" Ezekiel shouted, stepping closer to Cassandra's astro form, "Our old ways can still be of use."
"... I am old too, Ezekiel…I'm not as strong as I once was when you first met me…Burying him multiple times took a lot out of me over the years, and you know that…"
Ezekiel looked away; eyes furrowed because she was right on that notion. And he also wasn't getting any younger too, it just means their time was running out now more than ever, "...You expect me to sacrifice my life for them? I did so much! I built so much! So much so I can simply hide! No! We can hide and he'll never find us! I planned for this and have a bunker tha-"
"Ezekiel Sims!" Her own voice, boomed in a way that made Ezekiel hair stand up, "Put away your selfish self aside and focus on the fact that if you don't for once, put yourself first, everything you built will be gone!" Cassandra vocalized loudly for him to get it through his stubborn head.
"I DID! AND IT COST ME…" Ezekiel turned his back, breathing in and out, and then sighing as he now had his hand on his side before turning his back to Cassandra, "...It cost me…And I lived for three centuries because of that spider god…To be curse as its totem," Ezekiel clutched his hand, "To be known as…The immortal…"
"And so you'd rather be selfish once more? Let the world you live in burn by the monster you had a hand in creating?" Cassandra asked. Ezekiel didn't say anything having his back turned as he begin walking away from the apartment building, "Ezekiel," he stopped just before opening the door, waiting for Cassandra to speak again, "We all have a part to play, I, as the patternmaker, have a play into this…And I hope you will too, as I foreseen it in the other worlds similar to our own," again, he didn't answer, and walked away from Cassandra as she expected him too, "You can't keep running from your faith Ezekiel! At some point, we all have to accept what lies before us!"
Ezekiel never utters another word when he left, only leaving Cassandra alone in the empty apartment, to worry about the future, and to only hope, she not only has enough strength to do what she must, but also her former partner that is once again, running away.