The hallway stretches longer than I remember.
The music downstairs softens into a hymn.
A draft moves through the house like a whisper.
I follow it.
The party is alive without me
Everyone is jiving.
***
Mother enters my life, then leaves,
She stalks her victims, and then starts her flattery,
She's been branded by an ancient deity,
a martyr who is damned for eternity.
.
I nearly grieve what I thought I must be,
A caretaker for thee,
monsters, animals, and humanity.
.
Now that she is gone, she packed and left
I needn't know my life's purpose yet.
She is the uterine wall,
And I must "honor her"
As one worships gods.
.
It's free therapy and bondage
My soul has forgotten.
.
Here, you can isolate and berate me
Take away my humanity,
sing for me,
Spiritually, you can't kidnap me.
.
This disguise is melting,
Like fire burning.
The mask broke,
Unclothe my notes.
.
I no longer know my life's purpose,
Grief is the hyper focus.
Implicit biases are restarted,
and canvas emptied lockets.
.
She's always unhappy,
Nothing I do is enough,
Like teaching and mentoring
It's all rough.
.
Nothing I do is enough,
She has been blocked,
Time has stopped.
.
I suddenly see a bright light,
Near a door that's might.
.
I shall follow my heart,
not anyone else's words,
No one knows foreword
Who I shall be.
.
I need to do what's best for me,
Not what these masks say I must be.
.
Funny, costumes are telling me what I must believe,
They are theatrics, a show that keeps playing,
When you pass, the next stage is given,
Remember that you must know the directions.
.
An ancient deity branded her
A damned martyr who faces eternal hurt:
the mask she carries dignifies pain
and follows lineages branded by her game.
.
Her curse stops here
I won't let her near,
Jezebel, I fear you not,
You're out of luck.