Seeing the small army of very... Very well-armed men and the Black Widows strolling into my store. I obviously asked the question.
"I assume there is a mission you wish to push for?" I asked curiously.
Clint Barton, or otherwise known as Hawkeye gave a winning smile and said easily. "Yeah, the big man upstairs wants us to get one of those G.E.C.K's. You got any advice for us, you know being the shopkeeper and all?"
I blinked at how friendly Hawk Eye seemed and I shrugged and walked back to the register as I spoke. "Uhh yeah actually, I literally just got back from my own trip to the Fallout Universe... It fucking sucked." I said plainly.
As I leaned on the counter and turned back to Clint I was welcomed to the sight of Clint saying. "Well, my name is Clint, and yeah... You got a bit of a shell-shocked look on you, you got shot at for the first time I imagine?"
I blinked and then I brushed a hand across my face as I nodded and said. "Yeah... I got shot at alot, had grenades thrown at me, had zombies rushing at me in hordes, and killed massive monsters. Oh, and I even fucking killed some aliens."
Not only Clint, but Natasha and Yelena looked at me with some amusement with Yelena saying in a somewhat thick russian accent. "Wow... You really did go through the ringer, how long was your mission?"
After taking a breath to relax I said frankly. "A couple of days long... A couple of days in which I couldn't drink local water, couldn't eat local food, and I then had the wonderful sensation of getting my future cancer taken out of me by my powers when I returned to this universe."
There was a pause before Natasha said frankly. "We are moving to do the short mission to get the G.E.C.K from the vault, do you have any advice about the weapons of that universe seeing as you already been there?"
I nodded and then spoke with more calm as Buttercup had come over and was leaning up against me making the soldiers and shop people stare at the dog in confusion.
"Yeahhh... Clearing out the vault of Fiends in New Vegas? A fuck load of grenades, your goal isn't to take and keep the vault or anything. You just need to kill everyone inside of it."
After a moment of thought, I perked up and added. "In that vein, I do actually have some plasma grenades I can trade with you," I said with a wide grin.
Clint took over as he made a hand motion towards the portal and I saw half of the team of special operations armed soldiers went with the Black Widow ladies with Clint staying to talk for a minute.
"So whatcha want for those plasma grenades? I ain't cleared to be making any big deals with you, but I am sure we can work something out little man."
Only the fact that Hawkeye was so chill and actually like fifteen years older then me at least made me not wig out at being called 'little man' but still I rolled my eyes and said frankly.
"I want a care package basically, A supply of various MRE's water filtration pills, everything I could want for long-term survival in an extremely hostile place in bulk, and lastly... I want one of the laser Thompsons along with their magazines you will pick up from the vault clearing mission."
Clint actually paused at hearing my request, and then he shrugged and smiled saying. "Alright, I can do that. I can just put the costs down for my bosses who will like having made a deal with you for stuff we can write off."
With that I nodded and went into the back to carefully grab a dozen of the plasma grenades I looted off the higher tier synths and brought them over and very clearly explained how to use them to Clint and his group who were following him.
"Hmm, well wish me the best of luck Jake. I am heading on in." Clint said just as the Black Widow's group of soldiers were sucked into the portal.
I nodded and then just as I went to ring up a guy who bought everlasting gumdrops for trying to get over his smoking habit by having something he could suck on all day.
Which all-power to the dude. It sounded like a good idea when normal gum was used for the same thing. And my gob stopper didn't have any harmful chemicals or anything.
But right after that sale a tubby... Ok, a very fat teenager came up to the desk with nervous energy abound his form as his shook in his hoodie.
"Uhh... I wanted to know if I could bring people back from those worlds. Like can I bring back a Sekirei or an android from Nier Automata back here?"
My lips twitched as I gave the fat older teenager a look before I paused and spoke truthfully. "Yes, yes you can... But depending on how powerful the person you want to bring back to this universe and make them properly inhabit this universe and not an intruder, you have to pay the shop charge of souls for that companion."
I leaned in and said calmly. "Someone like 2B from Nier... That will run you forty souls, that you will need to get within that mission or more likely over several missions especially longer one's if you aren't killing things like bandits and more dangerous animals or monsters."
Shrugging I added with a wry smile. "If you want to go the distance man... Go all the way, go to a world in which you can become stronger after you get a weapon to defend yourself. Then when you become strong... Which will cut down your fat, you can snag yourself a waifu brother."
The fat teenager bit his lower lip before he took a deep breath through his nose before he nodded and said thickly. "I know... I got a knife on me, I am... I am going for Dark Souls 1, if I can get past the demon I am basically golden."
To which I took a deep breath and said frankly. "When you die, you will be revived by the shop, but not for free. So make sure this is something you really want to do."
And he just nodded with him saying with finality. "The mission is to just escape the Undead Aslyum. So I have a good chance of that."
I just nodded and he took a deep breath before stalking off to go about his divine task... To begin conquering Dark Souls. In hopes of being able to woo an easy-loving waifu and bringing them home.
'Honestly... Props to the guy. I didn't have to pay any souls due to Buttercup being a normal dog but I will need to pay if I want to bring someone like Nora back here.' I mused as I began helping the next person with their order of some Freezing Mints.
After a couple of minutes of helping people with their purchases after the fat teen went off to his adventure, I had someone else come over to the side to talk to me as I had made it clear that I still needed to ring people up for their purchases.
This one... It wasn't actually a guy at all but instead a mousey girl who looked at me with a piercing gaze before she asked quietly. "So... If I become a witch from Harry Potter, does that make me a mutant?"
And my word I couldn't help a snort at the question that bloomed into a giggle at her offended expression and seeing that offended expression I said dryly. "Oh yeah totally. You wouldn't be human anymore, you would be moving from muggle to magical. Completely different species so by that logic you were a mutant."
Her face twisted at the very valid point I made and she opened up her mouth as though to retort but then paused as she couldn't come up with an argument which made me wonder...
Was Sinestro's weirdo Mutant hate thingy working? I honestly never paid too much attention to the X-Men when they had built-in resurrection mechanics due to how often they literally died every week of their lives.
So I wasn't sure of the 'how' beyond Sinestro being an asshole and making humanity hate mutants somehow.
Not that it really mattered... Humanity was a petty jealous thing and we would have hated mutants for having superpowers anyway.
"Whatever... You belong in Hufflepuff anyway I bet." She finished with a sniff and stomped away while I just looked at her with utter confusion as the next customer muttered.
"How is being a Hufflepuff an insult? I got that on my Facebook, Hogwarts House questionnaire." The woman muttered sounding actually insulted as I rang up her more mundane purchases.