Chapter 35 - Detached Railings by Alissa

The wind tonight feels like a question

Tugging at the sleeves of my uniform

I'm singing low so no one hears through the walls

This room turns every echo warm

Neon clouds repeat your kindness

To every girl standing where I stood before

I keep my voice between the hanging clothes

So it doesn't reach the door

You say my name the same way

You say theirs in the afternoon

So I write my heart in smaller letters

And hide it in this tune

I practiced being weightless

So you wouldn't notice me leaning

But the rail beneath my smile

Is already leaving

If these feelings are detached railings

And I'm learning toward you by mistake

Will your hands move without thinking

Or watch me fall for balance's sake?

In a sky where everyone's chosen

I'm a star that forgot how to shine

You don't have to call me special

Just tell me you know which one is mine

Your kindness is a wide staircase

Everyone reaches you eventually

I record between my breaths

So this stays a secret melody

They're brighter in direct sunlight

I'm better in afterglow

So if you turn toward the loudest voice

It's fine — I already know

I'm in love with you in a very uncool way

The crowd becomes a shoreline

Your silhouette, the sea

The mic picks up my shaking hands

Will you notice me?

If these feelings are detached railings

And my courage is rust and thin

I'm not asking for forever

Just don't let me disappear again

When your gravity is public

And your warmth belongs to all

Will you look for me in private

If tonight I fall?

I don't want to win you

That sounds like a game

I just want one moment

That isn't the same

Where your voice drops softer

When you say my name

Like you've already decided

I'm not interchangeable

So I'll step past the detached railings

Let the night decide my speed

If your arms are only kindness

They'll still be enough for me

But if there's a hidden color

That you only show sometimes

I'll spend every falling second

Hoping that it's mine

The take light fades to silence

Fabric sways like a closing sky

I leave the last note trembling

Close enough to sound like a goodbye

I close my eyes and jump

Before I'm left behind.