Author's Notes: Hey-hey people Streggae here back from the annals of an impromptu hiatus. I'd like to explain why I've been gone for so long but it involved a lot of bullshit happening irl (most of which I've honestly forgotten by this point), a touch of writer's block and getting in my feelings about not being able to write smut. By the way I've listened to your feedback, re-read the story and after much consideration I agree that the story has evolved in a way that smut was not really needed anymore. That said I started writing this chapter while I was still hung up on that so it's going to be smut heavy starting out.
Speaking of you might notice how light the chapter is and its peculiar numbering. So to explain, my laptop has passed away after nine years of service (yes really!) and it doesn't look like I'll be getting a replacement anytime soon so for the foreseeable future everything I am about to write and post will be from my phone…my old ass 2017 phone I had to jury rig just to be able to do that much. You can imagine with such hardware it's going to be a pain in the ass to properly edit so to lessen the burden I will be posting chapters in segments. For anyone concerned I only start posting when I have a completed chapter and segments are only a couple days apart at most so you'll still get a binge read and for this chapter in particular it will be a binge. I didn't notice since I finished writing this on a phone but the word count is ridiculous, easily the longest chapter I've written for the series.
~O~
With all the drama that transpired recently it was easy to forget the 'catalyst' that arguably began the disruption of the routine of the house's inhabitants. Even Stanley who was at the center of said catalyst had seemingly forgotten. Luckily he had a wife-in-all-but-official-title who was all too happy to remind him and in typical fashion she chose to do so in the most Ezraphel way possible.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY STANLEY!!"
…by yelling a morning greeting to the high heavens while he slept in the dead of morning.
"AAH FUCK!!"
Naturally the result of this impromptu surprise had Stanley jolting from the source of the noise. Unfortunately with his enhanced strength his action ended up sending himself over the other side of the massive bed while also getting tangled in the sheets.
"SHIT! Whoa! Agh!"
*Thud*
Ezraphel, who stood by the other side of the bed as a witness, winced at impact muffled by the carpeted floor.
"Uh, whoops."
On the one hand her innocuous surprise greeting turned into a disaster off-rip but on the other hand the sequence of events following said greeting was kind of hilarious and impressive considering the bed itself took up a significant portion of the room.
'Unfortunate that Stanley is unlikely to be amused.'
And as if to prove her thoughts right a single hand reached the edge of the bed and Stanley pulled himself up with a most impressive scowl that promised violence if an explanation was not given for the interruption of his sleep cycle.
"Um, I came to deliver you breakfast in bed!"
True to her word she held a ridiculously large breakfast tray that was covered by an equally large domed cloche.
"…"
"A-as well as some extra service~" at once her bashful expression became licentious as she raised a hand with her delicate fingers shaped like a circle to her mouth and pursed her lips while sticking her tongue out to simulate sucking on something phallic.
"…"
Even in the face of such seduction Stanley didn't even blink as he regarded her with that same glare. The only change to his expression was the slight narrowing of his eyes. Still the Lilim must have sensed something as she smiled beatifically before setting the little table on the bed.
"I'll just leave this here."
Now that he had a better look at her he found that she was wearing an apron…and nothing else. Not the first time he's seen her in that particular outfit and just like with those other times she chose to don an apron the thing had a caption on it that made his eye twitch at the absurdity of it.
Meanwhile Ezraphel, after setting the table on the bed, arranged the pillows for him and sat next to the table before patting the space beside her while looking at him expectantly.
Stanley made his way on top of the bed to the designated area and once there he looked down at her and said "I do not appreciate the wakeup call Ez."
"I'm sowwy~" she apologized in a deliberately cutesy way.
"No you're not" he scoffed before adding "don't do that again."
"Kay~"
He gave her a side eye figuring it was going to be 50/50 on whether she would actually abide by that declaration. Ultimately he decided not to dwell on it and turned his attention to something more pertinent.
"So what exactly do you have planned and please for the love of God don't tell me you threw a party."
"No parties" she assured "in fact it will please you to know that I plan for the two of us to spend the day together."
In response he raised an eyebrow before moving onto another topic "I'll take your word for it this time. Also since you've spent so much time on it I'm willing to assume that what you have planned isn't just for us to have sex all day."
"As if!" she huffed "honestly Stanley even I know there's a time and a place for such things."
"You and I both know that's not true when it comes to sex" he shook his head ignoring her squawk of indignation to continue "that aside I don't really have a problem with us fucking all day" he admitted.
"You're not getting out of celebrating your birthday Stanley" now it was her turn to deadpan.
"Tch, fine" he clicked his tongue in an exaggerated manner before adding "just to be clear sex is off the table for today?"
"I never said that" her reply was instantaneous before her eyes narrowed at his imperceptible little smirk "you seem very keen on putting words in my mouth Stanley."
"Bet you'd like me to put something else in your mouth" he shot back.
"Cute" she once again deadpanned before finally taking the covering off to reveal something he did not expect.
"Ez, what am I looking at?"
"Breakfast," she answered.
He glanced at her "I can see that but …"
He trailed off looking at the breakfast spread which wasn't anything he hadn't seen before. Given Ezraphel's penchant for culinary exploration and experimentation Stanley could say with a high degree of certainty that he's eaten a good bit of foreign cuisine up to this point. Yet looking at the assorted breakfast he couldn't help but ask the obvious question.
"Why does it feel like you made it extra corrupted today?"
And indeed he could sense concentrated demonic energy coming from the food. As someone who has consumed his fair share of corrupted food (usually in the form of milk) Stanley couldn't help but be put off by this particular meal.
Ezraphel, seeing his discomfort, gently pulled him into her chest and started stroking his hair.
"In order to make your first birthday celebration with me a memorable one I decided to make your gift extra special."
"How?" he asked curiously, half muffled from her bosom.
"By granting you an authentic Makai experience."
"Makai experience?" he asked "as in like the Royal Makai Realm?"
As in the biggest fucking Demon Realm on Eos that is ostensibly the home and headquarters of her mother the Mamono Lord while also being the cultural center for all Mamono-kind?
"That's right" she nodded with a bright smile that turned somewhat bashful as she continued "truth be told I have been meaning to introduce more mamono culture into our daily lives outside of sex" she made sure to clarify.
At her last words Stanley closed his mouth before replying "okay" he looked down at the breakfast with a complicated expression as he digested her words "and you think now is the best time?"
"Well I originally wanted to do it on Thanksgiving."
'A Makai Thanksgiving?' he looked about as incredulous as that sounded at that moment. 'Oy vey.'
Ignoring the feelings of clear exasperation from him she continues "but hearing your birthday was close at hand I saw an opportunity I could not resist."
"An opportunity huh?" he muttered "and you're sure about this?"
"Of course! It only makes sense both as a Makai Princess and your wife that I introduce you to mamono culture in this way and what better way to start than with some good old fashioned Makai cuisine?"
At that he looked at the food with a little apprehension "eating this won't have any weird side effects will it?"
Ezraphel was not at all surprised by his question but nonetheless asked "define weird?"
"Any psychological or physiological changes?" he clarified with a pointed look.
"Increased libido, predilection towards sex immediately and several visual cosmetic changes" she listed.
"Are they permanent?"
"Would that be a detriment at this stage?"
"Ez…"
"Kidding!" she laughed "I was merely jesting Stanley. Honestly you need to 'chill out' and learn to have some humor."
He stared at her with an expression that was utterly uninterested in any of her excuses "just answer the question."
"No, this will only incur temporary 'status effects' that will pass by the day's end or until after we have sex…multiple times" she added the last quietly.
Stanley didn't say anything for a moment. He looked at the food before him and said, "I guess that's…okay."
"…" Ezraphel said nothing, merely watching him patiently with a small smile.
Picking up a forkful of egg stir fry Stanley commented "we're not leaving the house for a while are we?"
"Probably not."
He breathed through his nose "alright, let's do this."
With that he proceeded to take a bite and subsequently experience a Food Wars moment and yes that did include a damn near orgasm.
"Oh my god."
"Right?"
A more articulate man could wax lyrical about what he just tasted and Stanley himself was immediately reminded of his favorite YouTube chefs and how they would spout a bunch of culinary jargon when critiquing food. Since he couldn't do that he'll just admit to himself that the food was just straight up superior to anything Ezraphel has made for him so far. And considering Ezraphel's food was by and far the best (and only) way for him to enjoy food anymore, that's really saying something.
"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself Stanley but you need to slow down and pace yourself."
'What?'
As her words reached his ears Stanley realized then how much he had been gorging himself. With a swallow both metaphorically and physically Stanley paused his meal intake to take a breath and center himself.
"Okay this is the best fucking thing I've ever eaten in my life" he admitted.
Ezraphel smugness increased tenfold as she preened under his praise "thank you."
"Do me a favor and never feed me this again."
And just like that a pin was stuck to her swelled head causing it to deflate like a balloon. Despite the shock Ezraphel managed to maintain her composure enough not to make a loud exclamation.
"Ahem, may I ask why?"
"The food is too good."
"…what?" she asked with a blank face.
"Look, your cooking already spoiled my palette Ez. If I start eating this stuff I won't be able to go back to regular ingredients and the last thing I want is to have corrupted stuff lying about the kitchen
Ezraphel scowled "I am not that careless Stanley."
He hit her with an expression that screamed: are you sure about that?
She chose not to answer that, mainly because she could not refute him instead she opted to change the topic.
"A-and besides the ingredients themselves despite being corrupted don't necessarily induce monsterization after consumption."
"Yeah and people don't get addicted to crack after the first smoke."
"I don't like the insinuation that my people's cuisine is any way similar to a Schedule II drug."
"You're right, it's probably Schedule I huh?"
"Stanley…"
"What? I'm just saying…"
"Stop"
"Agree to disagree?"
"…very well I will endeavor not to 'spoil' your palette any further with superior mamono cuisine."
He rolled his eyes at that "you don't have to be such a food snob about it."
She ignored his mutterings to continue speaking "finish your breakfast Stanley we have a long day ahead of us."
He did just that though made sure to eat at a more measured pace allowing him to speak without issue while maintaining some level of etiquette
"Speaking of, what's on the agenda after this?"
She grinned "now that would be spoilers Stanley."
Stanley was just about finished with his meal when he froze, as his body stopped moving mid bite for a second before he carefully put the food item down.
"That's fine you don't have to tell me what you have planned but I sure as shit know what's going to happen right now."
"Oh?" Ezraphel blinked however if anything her grin became even wider "and pray tell, what would that be Stan~ley?"
In response he easily lifted the large cloche and placed it aside to reveal a throbbing erection that was currently straining his boxers. Ezraphel's eyes zeroed in on it like a bird of prey and her tongue darted out to wet her lips.
"Ah, that would be an issue now wouldn't it?"
"You knew this was going to happen."
It wasn't a question.
"Whaaat?" she exclaimed in false surprise "nooo, relax Stanley."
He didn't even bother to dignify that with a response instead his eyes went back to his erection.
'I should have seen this coming.'
Yet another reason why he didn't want to feed on mamono cuisine.
With a sigh he spoke "Ez."
"Yes~?"
"Fix this."
"Hmm?" Her smile widened as her swayed "I'm not so sure-"
Stanley did not wait for her to finish. With a yank he literally ripped his boxers apart allowing his foot long erection freedom. In the same instant his hand lashed out to grab Ezraphel by the literal horn eliciting a surprised moan from the woman that immediately got cut off when he forced her mouth onto his cock.
"GLURK!" went the Lilim who took all 13 inches down to the hilt with the ease of a seasoned pro.
"Yeah, I wasn't asking."
~To Be Continued~