My only priority in this world is nothing but Crisosotomo Ibarra. I hope you know it, I hope I can say it. I hope you know my sacrifices, and I hope you know how hard I am telling myself that I shouldn't fall for you.
Chapter 16: Another You
"WHAT'S your name?" I asked the teenage boy again. His name rings a bell to me. I think I heard it somewhere.
"Oh, you can just call me, Jerms. My full name doesn't matter at all. Let's just find Mateo," he said, and for the first time, he smiled.
Is he sure he wanted to be called that way? It sounded dirty.
Anyway, he's right, that's why we just followed him. We walk for a couple of minutes, or almost an hour, or maybe an hour!
This little rascal! He should have just told me that we are walking for a thousand miles! So that instead of walking, we will ride a horse—even backwards if he wants
"Are we there yet? For Pete's sake, I can't feel my legs anymore!" I asked and widened my eyes at him. I can't help but shout because of our situation.
"Who is Pete?" Lorena asked.
"Perhaps the second name of Mateo?" Marites concluded.
"We're almost here," he calmly said.
"You, little rascal! Are you kidding me? You are saying it earlier but we're still walking!" They are horrified because of my behavior. Well, I am just shouting like a madman to this Jerome! Fuck him! I'm tired of walking!
"Sorry, Miss. I didn't know you're weak. I thought you are strong enough to walk—"
"What? So this is my fault now?" I pointed at Julius.
"Basilio, I think that Sis Emcee is way scarier than Sacristan Mayor and Padre Salvi whenever she's mad," I heard Crispin whispered, and he hugged Basilio.
"Lower down your voice, Crispin. Binibini might heard you and she might be offended! I understand her frustrations, for she is not like us—she's part of high society, and walking for miles is not part of their living," Basilio whispered too.
"You should informed us that we will walk this long. We coul've ride horses—"
I stopped because someone interrupted.
"Binibining Maria Clara!" Someone shouted.
When I looked at him, it was MATEO! Damn, I felt like I am in the clouds, as if my mission is already accomplished.
"Hey!" I said happily! I immediately run after him. He smiles widely when he saw me. I am delighted to see him! Finally!
"Binibining Maria Clara!" Marites shouted because I run closer to Mateo.
"Don't! Young Lady!" It was Lorena. I just ignored them
When I am near to him, he distances himself. I furrowed. "Hey! You're so sensitive. It's okay, we're friends!" I told him and I was about to hug him but Marites stopped me.
"No, Binibini. I know that you're nice but don't do this. You will also have leprosy," he warned me. Well, it's fake news! It's not true that's why I rolled my eyes.
"Okay, fine. If that's what you like." I rolled my eyes to Marites—no reason, I just like to. "Can you leave us alone? I have an important thing to discuss with Mateo. It's confidential."
Marites, Lorena, Basilio, Crispin, and Julius stared at each other.
"But, Binibini, you know that it's not allowed for a woman like you to be left alone with a man—"
"Oh come on, you will just be there," I pointed a tree, meters away from our current position. It's far enough not to hear our conversation, but it's near enough to see us. The distance is I think 5 meters away. They just nodded and followed my orders as if I am their Queen Bee.
I opened my small bag and I bring out what's inside it. It's five pieces of Spanish bread and I also get 5 pesos. I want to give him 20, but it seems like it's huge money in this timeline.
Well, in 2021, 20 pesos is just a coin.
"Hey, Mateo! I brought you something to eat!"
I saw enjoyment in Mateo's eyes. Surely, you can't buy someone's smile, like his. I don't know what I am feeling right now—it's new to me. I felt that I am in a lavender fields, or perhapos in a very fresh garden, because of how light I am feeling right now. Maybe it's true that helping feels good than being helped.
"Binibining Maria Clara, thank you for being kind and thoughtful. You don't have to do this," he said but he is already eating the Spanish bread I bought. Lorena baked it. He also accepts the money I gave him.
"But I want to. Also, I have a favor to ask. I hope you don't mind," I said frankly.
He bit the bread first before staring at me. "A favor? What is it? I am not sure if I can do it, especially that I have a disease and people despise me, but we'll see. As long as it's for you," he gleamed.
"Well, it's not a big favor," I assumed. I am also touched because of what he said. As long as it's for me... "Do you remember the necklace I gave to you?"
He stopped chewing when he heard me. Slowly, he shook his head. "No, no..."
My eyes widened! "No? What no? I don't take no as an answer. It's just a few days ago. It's not even weeks ago! Why don't you remember?"
"I remember it, of course, but I am sorry because I can't give it back to you," he said.
I am surprised because he already knows that I will be asking for him to return it, but I am more surprised because he said that I can't have it again.
"But why?!" I shouted hysterically. Marites and the squad also stared at me like they heard me. I looked at Mateo and he seems startled. "I mean, yes, I gave it to you, but as you can see, I have to take it again. I forgot that it's important."
"I'm really sorry. I already sold it to the pawnshop since I haven't eaten for days that's why as soon as you leave, I sold it."
I scratched my nape because of what he said. The situation frustrates me... Mr. Librarian might kill me! Of course, it's not Mateo's fault, but mine!
"But don't worry, Miss. I'll do something. I'll go back to that pawnshop and then I'll ask about your necklace," he offered.
"Yes, please. Go to our mansion as soon as you get back the necklace. How much did you earn from it?"
"Fifty pesos, Miss."
My jaw dropped. 50 pesos? Just 50 pesos? Yet, Mr. Librarian kept on telling me that the necklace is more expensive than my own life—screw him!
"That's nonsense! It's original and you know what? It costs a billion dollars! Why you sold it so cheap?"
"But... It's fifty pesos. It is a huge number of money."
Oh yeah. I forgot about that I am in the past, not in 2021! I just nodded because I felt that I failed.
"Just go to our mansion once you get back the necklace," I said hopelessly.
I slowly walked away from him then suddenly he called my name.
"Binibining Maria Clara," I faced him. "Sorry to interrupt, but I have no money. I am so, sorry. I already use it to feed the children who work for Spaniards."
Oh, my heart! How many times will it break whenever I am having a conversation with him. He's so selfless. He could have just used his money for his own sake, yet he chose to help. Mind you, I know for sure that these little kids are bullying him, yet he still choose to be kind.
With the moments like this, I can't help but ask myself. If this man, with this unfortunate life and condition is so kind, why can't I? I am so blessed yet most of the time, I am selfish.
-
Okay, so now I am absent-minded. We are currently having a brunch and they are talking about Crisostomo who is planning to build a school.
I am with Captain Tiago, The Alcalde, Crisostomo, and many others who are also part of high society but I don't know who they are.
"Padres, ladies, and gentlemen, I am sorry but I have to go. The Captain-general sent me a telegram and it is written that he is coming at 4 p.m. I need to clean my mansion because he'll be resting at my place," Captain Tiago said.
Captain Tiago bowed a bit, and put his sombrero on his chest, after saying it. Wow, is he that excited to see the captain-general? After he left, my other dad comes here. It's Padre Damaso.
Eew! Dad? Really?
When he saw me, he smiled a little, but when he saw that beside me is Crisostomo, his smiles vanished His eyebrows furrowed and he looks grumpy—literally grumpy, one of the seven dwarfs of Snow White. He sat down in the chair.
"Bueno, what must be your topic when I wan't here yet," he asked but his tone is so strict like we must answer him, and with one wrong answer, you'll die. He's a horrible fictional character after all, "why were you quiet? Are your topics prohibited?"
And why does he sounded like they are accusing them that their topic is about him?
"Mr. Ibarra was talking about the people who help him build the school and the architects who planned and designed the school," the Alcalde whose name is Herberto answered.
I heard his name when they are talking earlier.
I gave Padre Damaso a disgusting look as I despise him when he laughed so hard. What's funny? I gave him a 'You-Need-To-Be-In-Mental-Hospital' look. His happiness is too shallow.
"Architects are nothing compared to me. I look down at the people who are hiring architects. They are just proving that they are stupid. You know what? I am the one and only one who designed our church."
So what? Do we ask for your opinion? This prejudiced priest! A judgmental person indeed. If he's good at designing, he should be an architect, not a priest! He's pissing me off!
"I beg to disagree, Padre. It is just right that Ginoong Ibarra hired an architect who is professional in this job. I see no wrong here," Alcalde Herberto said.
"I second the motion," I said. They all stared at me. Here I am again, making a scene. Padre Damaso's eyes are like burning because I am opposing him.
"Professional? Are you kidding me? Well, the school is built with only four walls and then the ceiling of course. Isn't too easy? So tell me, does it really need to hire a professional?"
This man is crossing the line! We all glanced at Crisostomo. He still looks emotionless like he doesn't care but I know, deep inside he is slaughtering Padre Damaso.
"Look at this Indio. Just because he studied abroad, he is full of himself. He thought that he is part of high society hahaha. What a comedian! The reason why his father was punished. His father died inside the jail."
Padre Damaso is a truly horrible, insensitive, terrible, awful, harsh, selfish, stupid person! I was about to burn him alive, with my words but...
Crisostomo aggressively jumped at Padre Damaso just to hold his both shoulders and he is staring at him like he can kill him anytime with one wrong word.
"Take back what you said!" Crisostomo said.
Oh my god! Is this for real? The Crisostomo I know is not aggressive and he is patient but right now, I think that Padre Damaso crossed the line.
"Why? What I said is true. Nothing but a fact," Padre Damaso said, and based on his voice, he despises Don Rafael, Crisostomo's father.
"This one, nothing but a truth," I said an raised both of my middle fingers. I can sense the eyes of the people qho are having their brunch. I heard their whispers, asking what's the meaning of my hands—only Crisostomo knows, asked him and you'll be stabbed.
I'm sorry, okay? I can't help but speak out the truth! Padre Damaso's eyes look defeated. I knew it! Maria Clara is his weakness. She is his only daughter after all that's why he is affected.
I saw Crisostomo and he is about to punch Padre Damaso, but I stopped him.
"Your hands will just be dirty. Stop it, Crisostomo. Let this fight end. I already shut him with my words!" I shouted to Crisostomo because he can't control his emotion.
Many people are stopping Crisostomo now from attacking the disastrous Padre Damaso.
I saw Padre Salvi just chilling in his sit. I eyed him to help Padre Damaso to sit properly now because Padre Damaso looked like a mess, but he seems not to care. I just rolled my eyes. Why did I asked this rascal?
But wait, there's more...
Salvi understand what I am trying to say, and he did it. He went to Padre Damaso and helped him to sit properly.
For the first time, I thank Salvi for existing here. I thought we will never be friends, well yuck! We are not even friends! We just helped both Crisostomo and Padre Damaso. I will never think of it again!
I thought Crisostomo will chill out but he shouted again. "My father is not a bad person!"
Guess what? He snatched a knife from the table and he is about to point it out direct to Padre Damaso's neck but I went in the middle of them.
"Stop it, Crisostomo. Stop it! This is not you!" I shouted again. I'm not a calm girl so, it's understandable, right?
I can't describe what I am feeling right now. My heart beats so fast—not because of feeling in love but because of unexplainable nervous feeling. I can't even feel my hands.
"Are you defending him?" He asked unbelievably.
"Definitely not!" I shouted again. He just stared at me like he is not believing me.
"But why are you protecting him from me? Am I the villain here?" He asked again.
"No, you're technically the main character! But..." I don't know how to tell him that Padre Damaso is my real father well in fact, I am not the real Maria Clara either.
He just shook his head and he walked away lifelessly. What was that? Did he just think that I am defending this scumbag, Damaso? I lightly hit Padre Damaso's chest out of frustration.
"This is all your fault! Why you are my dad?"
#
Song Featured: Bad Things
Am I out my head?
Am I out my mind?
If you only knew the bad things I like
Don't think that I can explain it
What can I say, it's complicated
Don't matter what you say
Don't matter what you do
I only wanna do bad things to you
So good, that you can't explain it
What can I say, it's complicated
Nothing's that bad
If it feels good
So you come back
Like I knew you would
And we're both wild
And the night's young
And you're my drug
Breathe you in 'til my face numb
Drop it down to that bass drum
I got what you dream 'bout
Nails scratchin' my back tatt
Eyes closed while you scream out
And you keep me in with those hips
While my teeth sink in those lips
While your body's giving me life
And you suffocate in my kiss
Then you said
I want you forever
Even when we're not together
Scars on my body so I can take you wherever like
I want you forever
Even when we're not together
Scars on my body I can look at you whenever
Am I out of my head?
Am I out of my mind?
If you only knew the bad things I like
Don't think that I can explain it
What can I say, it's complicated
Don't matter what you say
Don't matter what you do
I only wanna do bad things to you
So good, that you can't explain it
What can I say, it's complicated
I can't explain it
I love the pain
And I love the way your breath
Numbs me of novacaine
And we are
Always high
Keep it strange
Okay, yeah, I'm insane
But you the same
Let me paint the picture
Couch by the kitchen
Nothin' but your heels on
Losin' our religion
You're my pretty little vixen
And I'm the voice inside your head
That keeps telling you to listen to all the bad things I say
And you said
I want you forever
Even when we're not together
Scars on my body so I can take you wherever like
I want you forever
Even when we're not together
Scars on my body I can look at you whenever
Am I out of my head?
Am I out of my mind?
If you only knew the bad things I like
Don't think that I can explain it
What can I say, it's complicated
Don't matter what you say
Don't matter what you do
I only wanna do bad things to you
So good, that you can't explain it
What can I say, it's complicated
The way we love, is so unique
And when we touch, I'm shivering
And no one has to get it
Just you and me
'Cause we're just living
Between the sheets
I want you forever
Even when we're not together
Scars on my body so I can take you wherever like
I want you forever
Even when we're not together
Scars on my body I can look at you whenever
Am I out of my head?
Am I out of my mind?
If you only knew the bad things I like
Don't think that I can explain it
What can I say, it's complicated
Don't matter what you say
Don't matter what you do
I only wanna do bad things to you
So good, that you can't explain it
What can I say, it's complicated