After months of working from home...
I need to organize my office before I go back to working in person. I'll start with the bottom shelves of the bookcase. Then I'll throw away some old papers and straighten up the books, I decided.
I sat down on the floor in front of the bookcase and opened its doors.
A tiny bug darted out from between the books.
It's been years since I last organized this... I thought.
Tobi and Pamps came running over, curious. They had never seen the cabinet open before.
"Off you go, both of you! There's too much dust here," I warned.
Tobi turned toward me.
Slurp... lick, lick, lick...
He licked my arm.
Ever since he was a puppy, he'd always been incredibly affectionate. To me, every little lick was his way of saying, I love you.
Pamps nudged him aside with her nose.
"Grrr! Woof! Woof!" she barked jealously.
"Enough, both of you!" I said, beginning to lose my patience.
Pamps jumped into my lap.
Slurp... lick, lick...
She licked my other arm while wrapping her tiny paws around it.
Then she stopped and looked straight into my eyes.
I could see how immense and pure her love was—as though it could barely fit inside her little chest.
Tears filled my eyes.
I truly felt loved.
I kissed them both and held them close.
It felt so good...
But I still had a cabinet to organize.
"Luigi, could you take the puppies for a little while? There's too much dust here."
"I'm coming!"
He took them out onto the balcony to play.
I could hear his carefree laughter and the sound of the puppies racing around.
Luigi was growing up.
In just a few years, he'd be a teenager.
I already knew I'd miss moments like these someday.
All right, I told myself. Back to work.
I picked up a stack of old magazines and leafed through them carefully.
It takes so long to organize all this... Maybe this will be the last time.
Fear settled over me.
It felt as though everything in my life was coming to an end.
Throw it all away.
Leave the shelves empty.
In my mind, I saw the shelves completely bare.
I tore a few magazines apart.
Quickly.
Empty...
I organized this cabinet so many years ago... Maybe this really is the last time.
The thought haunted me.
Why keep any of this?
If I haven't needed it by now, I'll never need it.
When you die, they'll throw it all away anyway...
A profound sadness swept over me.
I imagined my family stuffing everything into garbage bags without even looking.
Everything...
Empty.
Rip.
Rip.
Faster and faster.
I'll leave it empty, I thought desperately.
"Throw it all away. Save them the trouble," a voice urged.
Suddenly, I stopped.
There's a spirit talking to me.
It's slipping its own thoughts in between mine... weaving them together until they become new ideas.
These thoughts are inside my mind... but they aren't all mine.
It's incredibly subtle.
I need to be careful.
Slowly, I gathered the torn papers and magazines and placed them into a trash bag.
"Better for you to throw them away than for them to do it after you're gone," the voice continued.
I opened the middle cabinet doors.
Inside was the box containing the male doll.
That male doll.
The one Zarú had once impersonated in order to deceive me.
God told me to throw it away back then... but I couldn't bring myself to do it, I thought wistfully.
I carefully lifted the box out.
I was afraid to open it.
"You disobeyed God... tsk, tsk..." the voice mocked.
A wave of guilt washed over me.
I straightened the shelf and quietly placed the unopened box back where it had been.
It's a collector's item. I'll sell it someday, I thought as I continued organizing.
"You know you never will. Throw it away too," the voice insisted.
"Leave everything ready for them."
"But... how will I leave?" I asked, almost absentmindedly.
"Once you decide to leave... the opportunity will appear."
"No."
I shook my head.
"No! This is not the last time I'll organize this cabinet! I'm keeping what I may still need in the future. Get out of my mind, demon of darkness!"
In my mind I saw women trying on my costume jewelry, arguing over it and dividing it among themselves.
"After you're gone... they'll split it up," the voice whispered.
I sprang to my feet, furious, clasped my hands together, and began praying the Lord's Prayer.
The following afternoon, Lívia came to visit.
"I've missed you, sis!" she said happily, hugging me.
"I've missed you too! Would you like some coffee?"
"I've been thinking about your coffee all the way here!" she replied with a smile.
We sat down with coffee and a delicious homemade cake.
We talked.
We laughed.
We caught up on everything.
Dusk was beginning to fall when...
"God prompted me to pray for you before I leave, Ana."
"I'd really like that. I need it."
We closed our eyes as we sat together on the living-room couch.
Lívia prayed.
When she finished, she opened her eyes and looked at me.
Her expression had turned grave.
"While I was praying... I felt cold."
She stopped.
Looked down.
Nervously clasped one hand with the other.
"...the cold of death."
"You can say it," I replied quietly. "The spirit of death has been talking to me."
"And what does it say?"
"It keeps telling me to leave everything ready for when I'm gone."
"It's not here right now. I can't feel its presence. It's as though it's projecting its thoughts into your mind from far away," she reflected.
"It slips its thoughts in between mine, creating entirely new ideas. That's how spirits work in people's minds. They try to persuade us to do what they want—or to change the way we think. Most people believe every thought in their minds belongs to them. But often, it doesn't. The suggestion is almost impossible to notice."
"If someone already has dark thoughts or painful feelings," Lívia concluded, "evil can lead them even farther."
"Yes. But we still have free will. We can resist those suggestions and choose what's right."
"That's true. Which is why we have to guard our thoughts constantly. Sister, I'd better go before it gets dark."
We embraced, and she left.
I climbed onto the treadmill.
Once again...
I felt those thoughts slipping into my mind.
"I wanted to walk deeper into the forest..." the voice murmured.
It showed me the darkness deep among the trees of the Black Forest.
Once again I could hear the wind humming through the branches.
I sensed danger there... It felt as though someone was beckoning me, I remembered.
"I was there..." the voice whispered gently.
"You wanted to climb those rocks and photograph the crashing waves..."
It showed me the stormy sea in Porto.
I could almost feel the drizzle against my face.
I could hear Luigi shouting once again,
"Mom! I'll go anywhere with you!"
I sensed danger there... What if a wave had swept us away? I thought uneasily.
"You could have discovered what lies beneath the sea..." the voice replied.
I saw water.
The sandy ocean floor.
Darkness.
Cold.
It felt as though I were slowly sinking.
I realized its thoughts were still intertwining with mine.
A heavy sadness settled over me.
I stepped off the treadmill.
Then I remembered.
Lívia had called me back when I wanted to wander into the forest.
She had stopped me from climbing those rocks.
Now I understood.
She...
and the angels...
had been protecting me.
Thank you, sister.
Thank You, angels.
I walked into the kitchen.
I wanted a slice of the fresh bread that had just come out of the oven.
Pamps caught the warm scent immediately.
She sat beside me, wagging her tail and licking her lips.
"Woof! Woof!" she barked, begging for bread.
Tobi waited patiently beneath the table for his little piece.
They both adored homemade bread.
I picked up the knife.
Suddenly...
my mind went blank.
I saw bright red blood spreading across the kitchen floor.
Pamps lay there...
injured.
I immediately set the knife back on the table and lowered my head onto my folded arms.
When I looked again...
Pamps was sitting right beside me, as sweet as ever.
What a horrifying vision.
It wants her too.
It wants to take her life as well.
A fierce rage surged through me.
I stood up and shouted,
"How dare you? How dare you speak to me? I am a daughter of God! How dare you ask for this innocent creature's life? Get out of my mind! Get out now, in the name of Jesus!"
Warmth flooded through my body—
the power given by the Holy Spirit.
I walked through the house reciting Psalm 91.
I prayed for Luigi.
For Pamps.
For Tobi.
"Jesus, have mercy on us and send Your angels to help us!" I cried, kneeling.
In my mind, I saw countless angels arriving.
An entire army.
"Thank You, Jesus," I whispered through tears.
The entity turned away.
It wore a hooded cloak.
Without looking back again, it disappeared into the darkness.
"You're never coming back here!" I shouted after it.
Life seemed to flow through my veins once more.
I felt strong again.
The following evening, Luigi and I were lying on his bed talking.
"Luigi, I finished writing a story."
"What's it about?" he asked.
"It's about a spirit that came to speak with me."
"Which one? Was it evil?"
"Yes... but I'd rather not say who it was."
He stared at me with wide eyes.
"Mom... was it Lady Death?"
How did he know?
How could he possibly know?
"Yes," I answered, stunned.
"If she ever came to talk to me, I'd run away!" he exclaimed. "Mom, nobody talks to Lady Death!"
"Someone has to," I replied. "Someone has to write about the way she speaks."
"What did she say?"
"My mother always told me that spirits like that never have anything good to say."
"And she was right."
"Don't talk to her anymore," he said, looking at me seriously.
"I was only joking. I didn't talk to her."
"You're only saying that so I won't be scared."
"You don't have to be afraid. The angels are watching over us."
"They are," he said firmly, "but that doesn't mean you should push your luck. Don't ever talk to her again."
"I didn't. It's all just my imagination. Come on—let's pray."
We recited the Lord's Prayer together.
Soon Luigi fell asleep peacefully.
Surrounded by the quiet presence of the angels... we slept in peace.