"Fat fuck!?" Shido yelled in outrage, his expression twisting and his eyes blazing with intense anger. "I want him punished for that disrespect!" His eyes narrowed into a glare aimed at Ebizo with a clear demand.
Ebizo's lips subtly twitched, but his expression stayed serene as he shook his head, "I am afraid, we can't do that, Lord Koichi."
"What do you mean, you can't!? He lives in your village!" A spittle flew out of Shido's mouth, and his whole obese body shook enough to make the chair underneath him creak. "Just give him two hundred lashes with a whip!"
"He is not a Sunagakure ninja. And thus, our authority over him is extremely limited." Ebizo's elderly voice pleasantly resounded through the room, but it only served to make Shido more mad.
"I don't care! He disrespected the Daimyo's representative! That's tantamount to disrespecting the Daimyo himself! It's a capital offense!"
"Still does not give us any authority over his actions." Ebizo shrugged with a 'what can you do' helpless look on his face. "Might I suggest asking the Daimyo to send a letter of complaint to the Fire Daimyo?" He 'helpfully' offered and almost cracked up at the face Shido made. The man obviously knew how useless that would be.
Because let's say the Wind Daimyo actually took the stupid situation seriously for some reason and did waste his time writing that letter. The most probable outcome was that the Fire Daimyo would read it before rolling his eyes and stashing it into the nearest garbage bin. He had more important matters to attend to than petty complaints about some foreign official being insulted behind their back.
But let's say that the Fire Daimyo, for some inexplicable reason, decided to take the time from his day to address it. What could he really do? At worst, he might forward the letter to Tsunade and give her some strongly worded warning.
And what would the new Hokage do? Well, Ebizo inwardly chuckled. From what he knew about the woman, she would snort and throw it into the nearest garbage bin.
She might send a half-hearted letter of reprimand to Ren if she felt vindictive on that particular day. But then, Ren would absolutely throw that letter into the nearest garbage bin.
Because what was she going to do? Dock his pay? He wasn't being paid by Konoha anymore. Try to lock him up? Good luck with that. He was the husband of Suna's Princess. Not to mention his own prowess. Label him a rogue? What good would that even do except give Suna political ammunition?
No. Ebizo inwardly snickered, sure that this whole situation was completely intentional by Ren. Shido's previous momentum was broken. He should have ignored the insult and pressed his agenda.
Speaking of which...
"As for your previous request," Ebizo intentionally called it 'request' instead of 'demand' to lighten its importance, "we must respectfully decline, Lord Koichi. As you already said, sending a married woman to be the Daimyo's new concubine would be highly disrespectful. If our budget suffers," Ebizo donned a regretful but righteous expression. "So be it! As servants of our Lord, we must do everything in our power for his own benefit, even if there are consequences."
From the corner of his eyes, he could see Shizumu look at him with respect shining in her eyes as she quietly observed their talk.
She hadn't seen anybody spout such utter bullshit in a long while. It was honestly impressive.
Other council members were much less enthused about the idea of putting their village's budget at risk. And frankly, Ebizo would be groveling like a dog at Shido's feet if it were necessary. Fortunately, Ren's help was slowly starting to show its results, and they were very promising.
It was yet another reason why he couldn't punish Ren. The man was too valuable to Suna.
Just the Dome technique brought immense profits to the village. If before, at best, ten percent of merchant caravans touring through the Land of Wind hired their ninjas as escort, then now it was an indispensable service. Everybody wanted them.
He had never really realized just how many merchants their nation had before all of them suddenly decided to demand a ninja escort with a specific technique at the same time. Sunagakure was already making ten times the money it did previously from protection detail missions, and that was with rejecting ninety percent of these mission requests due to a lack of qualified ninjas.
Suna honestly lacked the chunin and genin who knew said technique to meet the demand for their services. Even when their ninjas were scrambling to learn it, it was simply not enough.
And then there was the fact that nobles also started noticing and growing curious about the option of comfortable travel through the desert.
The amazing thing was that money wasn't even the most valuable commodity these missions were bringing to the village. The connections to various merchants and, in the future, maybe nobles? Those would be invaluable. Sunagakure already secured several large-scale discounts on metal shipments, spices, and other general goods that brought their costs down tremendously. All for a promise to prioritize their respective sellers for escort missions.
Ebizo doubted Ren actually realized what his casual attempt to help did for the village. He knew it was important for sure, but he definitely underestimated just how much prosperity it brought to Sunagakure.
He could hardly believe he was thinking this, but... between the Daimyo's budget and Ren's ideas, Ebizo was going to pick Ren's ideas because Suna could survive with their budget cut now. But missing more of the wild yet oddly overly effective ideas that Temari's madman of a husband nonchalantly threw about would be a massive loss.
If Konoha knew... Ebizo inwardly cackled, imagining Sarutobi's face when he finally realized what he had so readily given away.
"I see how it is now..." Shido's growling voice brought Ebizo back from his inward reverie. He looked at the Daimyo's official, only to find him gnashing his teeth. "You have lost all regard for the Daimyo." Shido abruptly stood up, "I will report that!"
Turning on his heel, Shido started walking toward the door, only awkwardly stopping when he reached it. His posture almost faltered as he turned around, his face hiding confusion, Ebizo not trying to fervently stop him.
Getting angry and threatening nobles with 'Daimyo will hear of this!' probably worked in his favor more often than not.
As their eyes met, Ebizo gave him a pleasant smile, and Shido realized they were not playing the same game. His lips stretched into a grimace, his previous anger nowhere to be seen. Unhappily huffing, he turned around and walked out the door.
"Eh?" Akito blinked. This was not how this act was supposed to end? He didn't intervene because he was warned of Shido's tactics beforehand. But this outcome was totally unexpected! Ebizo was not playing along!
Realizing that his promotion to the head of the council was slipping away, he stood up and scrambled toward the door after briefly glaring at Ebizo.
His heart leapt in joy, however, as he realized that this worked well for him, too! He could be the man who fixed the situation, getting an immense amount of credit!
"Koichi-dono, wait!" Yelling that, he rushed after the fat man.
"Well," Ebizo hummed, "I guess this meeting can be put on hold now that the... fat fuck is gone." He snickered alongside several council members.
Many, however, still looked worried.
"Was that smart?" Shizumu bluntly asked, tapping her well-manicured finger on the table.
"You don't have the full picture." Ebizo spoke with a reassuring voice and shook his head, "We can survive even if the Daimyo decides to no longer support us."
Not that it would happen. The Daimyo needed them as much as they needed him in the past. Whether he liked it or not, they were a part of his country's military strength. He couldn't afford to completely cut them off.
Shizumu blinked, "... Really? Has our situation improved that much?"
"Yes. You might not see it yet because a lot of that money was already invested in several long-term projects that will immensely help our village in the future. But over the next several months, we should start seeing the results." Ebizo assured his colleagues, putting many of their worries to rest.
They all hated the Daimyo after he starved them of necessary resources for almost two decades. It was why nobody intervened. Ebizo reckoned the show was cathartic for many of them. To know that they could give the man a polite middle finger and still be fine was no doubt a massive relief.
"As long as no military conflict happens between us, we should be okay." Ebizo finished.
The Daimyo still had his army of Samurai and his personal ninjas. But unlike other villages, Suna was in the desert. His armies would still win in the end, but the casualties should he attack would be massive simply due to the sheer attrition Suna's defensive position could cause to his armies.
'Well, maybe Gaara could...' Ebizo mused as his colleagues started to slowly leave the room. He quickly threw these thoughts away. Civil war was not coming. It would take a monumental foolishness to start it.
When the only two people in the room were Ebizo and his quiet chunin assistant, he smirked. "Are you not going to drop the henge?" He casually asked, and his assistant chuckled.
With a burst of smoke, Ren appeared in the place of his assistant. "And here I thought I could properly fool you. What gave it away?"
"My assistant is a coffee addict. He does not drink tea, my boy." Ebizo mildly said, and Ren palmed his forehead at the elementary oversight.
"So, you have known from the very beginning!" He exasperatedly exclaimed, and Ebizo shrugged. Details like that were ninjas' bread and butter.
"When can I expect my assistant back?" He lightly asked, making Ren look a bit sheepish.
"I left him asleep in a cupboard somewhere. He should be running around in three hours or so?"
"Mhm." Ebizo hummed and suddenly changed the topic. "You should stay vigilant. Today, you have made an enemy."
"The Shido guy?" Ren chuckled in amusement. He didn't seem that tough.
His expression must have betrayed his thoughts because Ebizo gave him a dry look as he became serious, "Yes. His anger was not real."
"Really?" Ren blinked in surprise. Shido's rage seemed real enough to him.
"The Daimyo's court is a nest of vipers. That man's skin is thicker than Gaara's sand armor. He hears worse, subtler, and better thought-out insults than 'fat fuck' daily and to his face." Ebizo slowly stood up from his seat with several loud cracks that made Ren inwardly wince.
"You have gotten the better of him today because he miscalculated our response. He thought we would react much differently to his anger. But he won't let it rest. Expect some sort of retaliation." Ebizo warned, "Now, since you have put my assistant to sleep, you should own up to the consequences and help me with some pape-"
He suddenly heard a quiet pop and turned around with reflexes his old body should not possess, only to see the smoke residue of clone dispersal dissipating.
Ebizo's lips twitched.
This new generation. He swore, they were all lazy! Back in his day...!