Lin Rujing looked at the townspeople and the townspeople looked back. There was the deafening sound of her heart beat throbbing in her ears while the sound of the wind rustling through people's clothes could be heard. All the eyes in the street were momentarily fixed on her.
Lin Rujing didn't know if this was a good or a bad thing. Just like she didn't know what she had been doing or how she had gotten here. She could remember nothing. And then, bam, she was here.
Maybe she was dreaming?
Cold sweat dropped down her back and then in the next moment, as if nothing had happened and nobody had looked at her, all those heads turned away and went back to doing the actions they had previously been interrupted from. The world resumed normalcy and yet, this seemed even more eerie than everyone staring at her earlier.
What had just happened? Where was she? Why was she here? What was she holding?
Lin Rujing glanced down at the item in her hands and turned over a non-stick spring form cake tin.
What?
Why a cake tin? And a spring form cake tin at that?
Had she just suddenly transmigrated while she was in the middle of baking a cake? Searching her worryingly blank memory, Lin Rujing felt that baking and using a spring form cake tin wasn't something unusual for her. It felt normal and ordinary. So perhaps she used to be a baker?
While she looked bewilderingly at the spring form cake tin in hand, turning it over and opening and closing the spring clasp, she also contemplated how she and everyone else were dressed in ancient Chinese traditional costumes. She just couldn't tell what era or region they were in.
Listening to the way people spoke, there seemed to be a mix of a few local dialects, which she seemed to be able to understand fairly well but couldn't name right now. Every now and then, scholars or more richly dressed people would pass by, speaking what sounded like the official language of this period. Different from modern Chinese. And yet still sounding quite cultured and refined.
Modern Chinese... Ancient Chinese traditional costumes...
So she had really transmigrated? Time travelled? Gone back in time? She was from a modern era? If she was from the modern era, had she gone back in time as herself or become someone else? Was she now living in someone else's body? Otherwise where had the clothes come from? She was pretty sure she wouldn't have ancient styled commoner clothes lying around in her wardrobe for her to cosplay if she were from a future dimension. There would be no need. She would more likely be part of the rat race, straining and arriving to work and survive in an increasingly materialistic society.
Mm. That thought process seemed familiar.
"Young miss," said a gruff voice.
Lin Rujing turned her head and jumped, almost colliding with a passerby in the stream of street traffic.
A large muscled and bearded man in a leather apron was staring at her and the spring form cake tin in her hands curiously, but reached out when she jumped.
"Aiya, be careful," he exclaimed, retrieving his outstretched hands and not stopping her when she squeaked and hopped, regained her balance, managed to avoid the passer-by who glanced expressionlessly at them and continued on his way.
She gave the leather apron man a cautious look and slight expression of grievance.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you," he said.
"Don't scare the foolish second daughter of the Lin family, Chuizi," called a nearby vegetable shop aunty. "You hardly ever come out from your master's forge, so you might not know. Lin Erniang usually wanders the street at this time. We all usually keep a watch on her so she doesn't get into trouble."
"I just wanted to look at the thing in her hand," said the big leather-aproned man. "It doesn't look like anything I've seen before. Where did she get it from?"
"How would I know? There are so many people going to and fro on this street. She might have somehow gotten it from a random foreigner. Let's hope they don't notice it missing and come back to make a fuss. Damned girl probably doesn't even know herself."
"Miss Lin, where did you get that from?" the gruff man crouched down a little and asked, trying not to scare the frightened and cautious looking girl.
"Mine," Lin Rujing hugged the spring form cake tin to her chest. She had a feeling it was definitely hers from her kitchen.
Listening to the conversation of what sounded like the blacksmith's apprentice and the shop aunty, it seemed like she was an intellectually challenged child. Still surnamed Lin. But with a rather perfunctionary given name. Second daughter of the Lin family indeed. It must be a family familiar with many of the market stalls owners on this street.
"Girl, go back to your parents. Don't cause or bring trouble. If that's not yours, you have to give it back," the shop aunty told Lin Rujing.
"Mine," Lin Rujing replied, deciding to try and stay in line with her character setting for now until she had sorted her head out. Anyway, for some reason, her tongue felt clumsy with the unfamiliar language while she was trying to speak, so keeping to short sentences like a child seemed right. Nobody seemed to be surprised by the way she was speaking so far.
"It's not yours if you didn't pay for it," the aunty tried to soothe and take the cake tin from within Lin Rujing's arms.
"Mine. Man drop. Give money. Mine."
"Someone dropped it and gave you money? Where's the money?" the shop aunty's eyes gleamed. "Did he drop the money too?"
"No. Look. Dropped. Dented. Broken. Can't sell. Man give to Erniang to play. Erniang give money," Lin Rujing pouted and clumsily struggled with her unwieldy tongue to get the right words out. Some of the words came out garbled and strange sounding, but the shop aunty and blacksmith's apprentice, after a moment of silence as they worked out what she was trying to say, seemed to kind of understand. She pointed at a big dent in the cake tin that a vague memory told her came from dropping it and so causing a slight dent on the otherwise flat and circular base of the tin. "Erniang good girl. Erniang buy. Mine."
"You paid money? Where'd you get the money from?" the aunt asked Lin Rujing with new suspicion. "Since when and why would your family ever give you any money?"
"Money. Ground. Pick up," Lin Rujing lied, feeling sweat prickle a little. This was a marketplace. People dropping money on the ground must be a common occurrence.
"How much money did you pick up and give that man?" asked the blacksmith's assistant, settling down onto his haunches and seeming to smile through his beard when Lin Rujing seemed to be edging toward him and away from the sharp edged shop aunty.
"One money," Lin Rujing held up one finger and then two fingers and then three fingers. "Two money. Three money. Look, Erniang can count."
"One thousand?" the shop aunty almost screamed, misunderstanding Lin Rujing 's pronunciation but forcefully looked around and lowered her voice into a whispered shout.
"What's 'thousand'?" Lin Rujing turned to the blacksmith's apprentice and then almost squeaked and jumped away again when she discovered she had almost sideled her way into his arms, causing him to give her a helpless smile. This was a good opportunity for her to learn the currency of this time and world.
"It's alright. I'm not going to hurt you," the blacksmith's apprentice said. "You're too cute. Aunty, I think she doesn't understand what we're talking about. Maybe her family doesn't let her near money."
The word 'money' really did sound a bit like the word for thousand when she said it, Lin Rujing rubbed her nose. Her bad. Sorry, sorry. She couldn't help her pronunciation right now. She promised to work hard and improve.
"Money - looks like this," the shop aunty said, dipping a hand into a pocket and showing a few coins of various sizes.
Lin Rujing blinked and thought hard, pointing at random.
"This, this, this. Pick up."
"Oh. That man sold this thing so cheaply?" the shop aunty shrugged. "What is this, anyway? Girl, give it here. Give me a look."
"No. No. Mine. Mine," Lin Rujing cried, hugging the cake tin to her chest and shrinking away from the shop aunty into the blacksmith's apprentice's arms, acting like a child.
What if the woman took it and refused to give it back? Just look at the glint in her eye.
The blacksmith's apprentice patted her, making her jump again, but this time, he didn't let her jump away.
"Alright. Alright. Yours. It's yours," the blacksmith's son chuckled. "Are you hungry? Thirsty? Come to my shop and have a drink. Aunty is busy. She has customers. Come on. Well sit over there."
A few people came to pick through the vegetables starting to wilt in the sun in front of the shop aunty's stall. Seeing potential customers, the shop aunty immediately changed her focus, forgetting about Lin Rujing for the moment.
Lin Rujing allowed herself to be led over to the blacksmith shop and felt the blast of heat coming out from the back of the shop, her eyes growing big. No wonder the blacksmith's apprentice was wearing so little under his leather apron. She was seated on a wood stump used for chopping firewood and the blacksmith's apprentice went inside, returning with a well worn bamboo cup with some water in it.
"Drink some water, Erniang," he said and crouched down next to her, giving her an amused smile when she hugged her cake tin and eyed him suspiciously.
The action of a stranger offering her food or drink triggered a blurry memory. It seemed to be a childhood memory from her former modern life. A children's television show.
Lin Rujing cleared her throat and sang the stranger danger song she recalled from the memory. The blacksmith's apprentice looked taken aback. He blinked rapidly and then smiled, stroking her head while Lin Rujing cringed away from him a little.
Did this guy - what did the shop aunty call him again? Chuizi. A hammer. Well. A pretty apt name for a blacksmith's apprentice, she guessed. Did this Chuizi not realise how scary he looked? He also smelled strongly of sweat. Not that it was his fault. Anyone with his job would sweat heavily, but even so, she didn't want him getting so close to her.
From the corner of her eyes, she saw the shopkeeper aunty glancing at her and Chuizi every now and then in between customers, as if to make sure she was alright.
"What a clever girl, Erniang is," Chuizi sighed and chuckled to himself. "Knowing that strangers giving things can be dangerous."
"Stranger danger," Lin Rujing nodded seriously and held out a hand to stop him. "Stay away."
"Alright. Alright. I'll stay away. Is this far enough away?"
Reluctantly, the man shuffled away a little distance until Lin Rujing nodded.
"Can you show me what you bought now? You can hold onto it. Just let me have a good look. It can open and close right? Can you make it open and close for me?"
Lin Rujing cautiously opened her arms and showed the cake tin, showing him the clasp, opening and closing it a few times, and how the pieces fit together.
"Ah. I see. I see. Turn it over that way and let me see the seams."
The two were so engrossed in looking at the cake tin that they didn't notice when the blacksmith master had returned and had been looking from behind them until he plucked the tin out of Lin Rujing's hand, easily keeping her away and out of reach with one hand on her head.
"Hey! Hey! Mine. Give back. Mine. Give back!"
He looked it over and pushed her into Chuizi's arms to examine it more closely.
"Interesting," he said as he closely examined the clasp, opening and closing it. "What kind of metal is this? Never seen anything like it."
Chuizi, with his hands full managing the shouting and jumping Lin Rujing sighed with relief when she suddenly stood straight and raised her hand in the air. She narrowly missed punching him in the eye.
"I know. Uncle, Erniang knows. The man said they... sprayed something on iron. Make it not sticky. Cooking food won't stick hard. Uncle, this. Mine."
"Sprayed? Interesting. What did that man look like? Where's he from, Erniang?" the blacksmith examined the item curiously. "Is this for cooking?"
"Baking. Making cakes. Fluffy, sweet, delicious," Lin Rujing said. "Or bread. Fluffy bread."
"Baking? Did he tell you how to make the cakes and bread?" the blacksmith asked, returning the tin to Lin Rujing.
Hugging her cake tin, Lin Rujing's eyes lit up and she nodded, counting on her fingers as the information about baking seeped into her memory.
"Eggs, sugar, butter, milk, fine wheat flour - cake. Butter, wheat flour, yeast, salt, water - bread."
"Must have been a rich foreigner," the blacksmith shook his head. He got the story of how Lin Rujing ended up with the cake tin from his apprentice and then nodded his understanding. He waved a hand at Chuizi. "Close up the shop, Chuizi. We don't have much business today anyway. Tell your Aunt Shi over there that if Erniang's family come looking for her, she's with me at my house, keeping my wife company."
"No, no, no," Lin Rujing backed away and sang the stranger danger song again, making the blacksmith roar with a laughter that made Lin Rujing jump and hide behind the still scary but not as scary apprentice
"You're such a little cutie, Erniang," laughed the blacksmith. "Who in your family made up that song for you? It's quite catchy. When we go to my house, make sure you teach it to my children, ok? What a good girl. Come, we'll go inform your parents first before going to my house."
Seeing as the blacksmith seemed to know her parents, Lin Rujing nodded.
"Chuizi, do you like this girl? You're both of the marrying age. She's so cute. I didn't know she was such a cutie. Want me to arrange the marriage for you?"
Lin Rujing looked at Chuizi and his big beard and shook her head.
"No, no, no," she babbled, waving her hands while hugging her cake tin in her arms. "Big hair - what if it takes over his face? A whole face of hair, where's the mouth? A monster. A big hairy, stinky monster."
Chuizi froze, his face and ears going red while the blacksmith roared with laughter again.
"Told you that you should shave properly," the blacksmith roared with laughter again. "Look, even a fool like her knows to disdain your face. How will you ever find a wife looking like a wild man?"
"Master," Chuizi fidgeted with discomfort, lowering his head. "Please. Erniang is watching."
"So you do like her?" the blacksmith teased.
"Master!"
Lin Rujing didn't want to hang around to be teased. She ran off, followed by a chuckling, ambling blacksmith who distantly ensured her safety.
"Erniang, Erniang, where are you going? Did you forget where we all were again?" a young man darted out from behind a stall to chase after Lin Rujing and catch her.
"Who are you? Let me go. Let go!" Lin Rujing smacked and bashed her cake tin on the hand that was grabbing her arm in panic.
"Little sister, did you have an episode and forget everyone again?" the young man yanked his hand back from danger and shook it hissing, sounding upset.
"Everyone?" Lin Rujing looked at the young man carefully, trying to match him up with any names or memories, but only drawing blanks. She rubbed her head from the effort. "Little sister?"
"Don't think so hard if it hurts," the young man who was presumably her elder brother held out a cautious hand. "You might faint again."
"Big brother?" Lin Rujing asked cautiously.
"I'm your third elder brother. Little sister, did you remember me?"
Lin Rujing shook her head, shying away from him, singing the stranger danger song again.
"Who taught you that song? It's so clever," Third Brother smiled. "My little sister is so cute and clever."
"Cute and clever my foot," snorted a tired woman who approached from behind the stall, glaring at Lin Rujing. The woman looked as if she were about to hit her. Lin Rujing shrank away from the woman, edging toward Third Brother, who pushed her behind him to shield her. "There are so many bad people in the world and so many people coming and going from this market. How come nobody has come to take this money losing thing away yet? Cousin Huan's daughter got kidnapped from the market just after her marriage and they still haven't found her yet. Why didn't they take this useless girl instead?"
Lin Rujing winced. How hurt must the original Lin Erniang have been every time she heard such cruel words?
"Mother, don't be so harsh. If we really lost Little Sister in the marketplace, Father would beat us to death," Third Brother placated. "You know how much Father loves her."
"I don't understand how he can love such a waste of space," Mother Lin said, slapping her thigh and spitting in Lin Rujing's direction. "I should have drowned her at birth. The little jinx is what made your eldest brother die when he was hurrying back home. If he hadn't died, he would likely have passed the imperial exams and be an official by now. We wouldn't still be living such a hard and difficult life."
"Calm down, Lin's wife," said the blacksmith, finally arriving and having heard all the harsh words the mother had been shouting at her daughter who was now standing still with her chin bowed to her chest. Little teardrops dripped to the dust one by one. "I just brought her by to tell you that I'm closing up early for today and decided to take her back to keep my wife company for a bit. You can come bring her home later when your work here is done."
"Take her back and keep her if you dare," Mother Lin rolled her eyes and looked away. "We don't want such a money losing thing in my house anyway. You can marry her to your apprentice, your youngest son or to that beggar that lives behind your animal shed. I don't care. Anyway, I don't want to see her again. Ten tales of silver and she's all yours."
"Most girls marry for one or two taels of silver," Third brother said. "Even slave girls are only bought for that much."
The blacksmith paused and looked at Mother Lin closely for a moment, slightly incredulous. That was a lot of money for a foolish girl. Nevermind. Taking back and saving such an innocent child would be worth it. Take it as doing a little charity. He could afford it. After all, she was really cute and quite endearing.
"Ten taels? Really?" he asked.
"Of course, really," Mother Lin snorted. "I'm not one to joke around."
"Then I'll have the matchmaker go to your house to propose marriage for my apprentice some day. I'll take the girl back to visit my wife for now. Lin's Third Son, make sure you come to bring her home later."
"You don't even need a matchmaker. Just give me the money and take the damn girl."
"Mother!" Third Brother shouted.
"What mother? She's already of marrying age. She can't stay with us forever. Who would look after her? What girl doesn't get married and leave home?" Mother Lin rolled her eyes at her third son.
"I'll look after her," Third Brother patted his chest. "She doesn't have to be married and bullied in another house. Who knows how other people will treat her?"
"You say that now," sneered Mother Lin, "but what will your wife think when you get married next year? She might agree to it initially, but over time, grudges might build up. You can't protect a useless burden who is always sick like your sister for a lifetime. Think of that Meng Daya. What kind of character she has? She'd secretly pinch and bully your sister and your sister wouldn't even be able to tell you. That Meng Daya might be a good girl, but she already can't stand your sister and you expect her to help you take care of your sister for life?"
"The Second Brother..." Third Brother said.
"Your Second Brother has already informed us of his wife's stance," Mother Lin interrupted with a vehement and extremely bitter tone. "He can't take care of your sister either. We can't leave her with your oldest sister-in-law. Your oldest sister-in-law has to be kept separate from your sister, as you know, or she might really kill her one day. Your father is already a cripple. You can't expect your father and I to take care of her for a lifetime. The girl can't do any chores. She's as bad as a cripple. Her only use is to make your father smile before he dies from his injuries. Lao Tian Ye (old heavenly man - superstitious deity), look at my Lin family. What misfortune. What did I ever do to deserve all this suffering and being stuck with a stupid, fool for a daughter?"
"Mother, Little Sister might still get better. She was perfectly normal before she nearly drowned."
"They should have left her to drown properly. I should have not called the doctor back then if I knew my good girl would become this dead, useless thing who can't even recognise her own family," Mother Lin wailed, slapping her thighs.
The blacksmith shifted uncomfortably while Third Brother guided his mother back behind the stalls and gestured behind his back for the blacksmith to take Lin Rujing away.
Lin Rujing wasn't sure why, but there was a piercing and twisting pain in her chest. Tears kept streaming down her face and she couldn't stop them. Her breathing was shaky.
What was this? While she felt Mother Lin was harsh, ancient society was just that cruel to women and especially women with defects, stuck in a low socio-economic situation, where even daily survival was a struggle. So while she felt pity and sympathy, she couldn't really fully feel it, and yet she was crying so hard. Silently. Without sound.
Her throat had become so tight that she couldn't make a sound, even if she wanted to.
What did this mean?
A rough hand wiped her face and then she was guided away from the marketplace by the blacksmith.
"Don't cry, Erniang. You're such a good girl. Your mother still loves you. Her words are just very harsh. She's had a very hard time these few years when things happened to your family one after another. Don't hold it against her. Good girl. Don't cry."
Lin Rujing followed the silent blacksmith, wiping her face repeatedly every now and then and sniffing. And then she started coughing, making the blacksmith look at her with some concern.
By the time they arrived at his house, her head felt all hot and stuffy. It was hard to think. Her vision was blurry and balance off. The blacksmith had needed to support her.
Lin Rujing felt a soft hand and gentle voice instructing her to blow her nose, and a clean cool cloth being placed over her eyes and forehead after her face was wiped clean.
"Lie down and rest here, good girl," said the gentle woman's voice.
In the distance, a gruff man's voice could be heard complaining and recounting the events that led to this visit. Lin Rujing didn't hear the conclusion. She drifted away.
Lin Rujing woke up feeling a sense of wrongness. This hard bed wasn't hers. The smells were unfamiliar. The feeling of the blanket wasn't right. Where was she now?
Opening her eyes, she saw a skinny older man with a wrinkled, weather worn face lying on a mat nearby, watching her with concern.
Lin Rujing exploded out of the blanket with a shriek and almost fell off the edge of the kang platform, but the older man somehow quicky shuffled over to hold her, gently pulling her back onto the straw woven bed mat.
"Calm down, baby. Treasure, it's alright. You're alright. Look at me properly. I'm your father. You're at home. My good girl, you're safe here. Father is here. Calm down. Everything is alright."
The man gently patted her shoulder and after making sure she wouldn't fall off the bed again, shuffled back to his own straw bed mat. As he did so, Lin Rujing saw his wizened and crooked legs that had obviously been broken but healed crookedly. With him moving away, she was able to calm down a little bit.
If that was her father, how had she gotten home? She held her throbbing head with a groan. Wasn't she at the blacksmith's house earlier?
"Daughter, lie down if your head still hurts. You haven't been well. Blacksmith Guan said that you became sick after your mother went on a rant in the marketplace. We couldn't leave you there, so your third brother carried you home. Rest more if you still feel sick."
Lin Rujing frowned and took a good look at this wrinkled and emaciated man who had aged before his time. His eyes were filled with a gentle warmth but also carried a hint of pain and concern.
"Good girl," he said again when he saw Lin Rujing slightly relax, looking around to take in the layout of this simple house.
It was pretty much a one bedroom house. The clay platform bed she was lying on was likely a kang. It was big, and being the only bed, it was probably where the whole family slept at night. Looking at the number of piled bed mats and folded cotton quilts in the corner, it seemed that poor families didn't separate the genders as much as she had expected.
Story novels and dramas on television always showed men and women being separated in ancient society. Even among families. Were they all wrong? Or just focused on certain parts of history? Or was her family just so poor they couldn't build any other rooms?
Lin Rujing blinked at the sensation of recalling more surprising random facts from modern society.
"Daughter. Wake up. Treasure," a voice called her distantly and she vaguely felt the man who had called himself her father gently laying her back down onto the mat and carefully covering her up as if worried she would catch a cold. After being unable to wake her up from her momentary daze, he patted her back rhythmically, as if to help her to settle and go back to sleep.
It took a long moment for Lin Rujing to process and when she came back to herself, the shadows had lengthened, but her father was still patting her back.
"Father?" she asked tentatively.
"Here. Your father is here. Ai, my treasure finally recognised her father. Good girl, are you awake now? Feeling better?"
Lin Rujing winced at the pressure in her bladder and wriggled, trying to think of a polite way to express her need to go somewhere where she could answer the call of nature.
"Wife!" Father Lin shouted. "Our daughter has woken up and needs to go do the convenient thing. Come and help her."
Convenience? Oh. Toilet. So that was how they said it here.
"Oh!"
There was the sound of someone grumbling under her breath outside, but Mother Lin soon came in.
"Husband, what about you? Do you need some help with your convenience too?" Mother Lin asked, helping Lin Rujing up.
"I'm alright, child's mother. You help our treasure and then bring her something to eat. Put an egg in her porridge. I think she's still not feeling well, so just bring her back to rest. She and I will eat together."
"You spoil her so much," Mother Lin muttered, guiding Lin Rujing out of the house to a little shed.
Opening the shed door, Lin Rujing was smacked in the face by the smell and she gagged a little. The next thing she noticed was how dark it was. There was the heat of the day and flies buzzing busily around. Her stomach turned.
"It's always like this," Mother Lin muttered. "It stinks. Of course it stinks. And guess who has to clean it and empty it out every day? Me. Why does nobody else do the dirty work, always leaving it to me? Useless girl, you remember how to do everything yourself?"
Lin Rujing looked at the old wooden board that had been propped up over a hole in the ground. In the dim light, it looked like there was some kind of container inside for catching things. She vaguely recalled a memory of someone, perhaps an elderly person, telling her about what the outhouses in rural areas were like. Not every family had their own outhouse either. The fact that the family here had one and emptied it elsewhere hinted at something. What that something was eluded her.
"Girl. Can you manage on your own?" Mother Lin asked with impatience.
Lin Rujing nodded.
"If you dirty your own clothes, you'll be washing them yourself. Don't say I didn't warn you," Mother Lin warned her and left Lin Rujing in the outhouse.
Lin Rujing carefully arranged her clothes and squatted on the wooden board, feeling tears forming in her eyes. The toilet wasn't supposed to be like this.
She recalled white porcelain flushable toilets. There was the squat toilet version that was still far better than this fly blown hole in the ground, and the Western version where you could sit and relax on a little throne. Ah. What had she come to? Would she forever have to deal with her business in this traumatising place?
There was no toilet paper and nothing to wipe herself with. Looking around, Lin Rujing only spotted a few flattened and smoothened bamboo sticks with some kind of unidentifiable muddy dirt still clinging to one side of them. Ugh.
With nothing to wipe herself, she could only use her hand and then carefully rearrange her clothes with her clean other hand. At least the job was done.
In the future, she would need to see if she could think of how to reinvent a flushable toilet system here. She couldn't live with this kind of outhouse, even if she guessed this might be one of the better, cleaner outhouses that might exist in this ancient place. Somehow, she needed to figure out how to make a flushing or suction system for her future toilet.
Once outside the outhouse, Lin Rujing felt her stomach heave again and she hurried over to the side where there was a vegetable garden, throwing up the small amount of bitter water that had been in her stomach onto a bare patch of dirt.
"Oh good. At least you know not to just throw up any old where," Mrs Lin's voice said, coming over to look at her. "Hold out your hands and wash them. Rub these leaves between your hands to clean them, so you don't get anything dirty near your father and make him sick again."
Lin Rujing did as she was told, rubbing the given few herby leaves between her hands while Mother Lin slowly poured a gourd scoop of water over her hands and over the vegetable garden beneath.
"That will do it," Mother Lin nodded. "Remember, other people might not need to wash hands after dealing with their convenience, but the doctor said it is vital for your health and your father's health that we keep clean hands."
A doctor who promoted sanitation and hand washing. Lin Rujing could hug him. The thought and idea of most people not washing her hands made her feel queasy. Did those people with those dirty hands also make and sell food to their customers? Just the thought made Lin Rujing retch but nothing came up.
Sweat prickled up and down her body. She felt faint, weak and dizzy.
She was never buying and eating outside restaurant or street food. Not in this lifetime. Not in this place. Imagine. Ugh.
Mother Lin seemed to notice and quickly helped her into the house, getting her to lie down, and then hurrying off to the kitchen.
Father Lin shuffled over and covered Lin Rujing with her quilt, patting her back, not saying a word.
It seemed but a moment later. The sun seemed to be setting and Mother and Father Lin were both helping to sit her up, so that Mother Lin could prepare to feed her. The couple seemed quite practiced in these actions, not needing to talk or even glance at each other.
When Lin Rujing attempted to help herself, they carefully let her go and then let her lean back against the mud wall to slowly eat, while Father Lin was given his bowl of watery multi grain porridge to sip at. Lin Rujing could see bits of egg floating in the porridge for both her and Father Lin's bowls. There was the faint eggy sulphuric scent in the air. When she chewed, there were bits of hard things that couldn't be chewed. When she swallowed, it scratched at her throat. Taking a closer look, it seemed like not all the grain husks were removed for cooking.
Her family was poor enough that they needed to eat the grain husks too?
"Wife, you should have just given all the egg to the child. What's the point in trying to give me nutrition? Have I the strength to use?"
Mother Lin just clicked her tongue and stalked out of the room.
"Daughter, bring your bowl closer. You're still growing. Let Father give you more."
"No," Lin Rujing held her bowl away from Father Lin's attempts to pour more. "Father skinny. Father sick. Father eat."
She took a few more sips to settle her stomach, and then stopped to frown at how her father had gone still, tears dripping into his watery porridge. She carefully poured some of her porridge into his bowl and then turned away to finish her meal.
It wasn't that she wasn't hungry. It was that the grain husks were actually really hard to swallow. She couldn't do it, but she couldn't waste food either. She could only give it to Father Lin.
She heard a few sniffs from behind her and didn't dare to turn around to look. She just carefully finished her meal, grimacing every time she swallowed.
When Mother Lin came back to collect the bowls, she heard Father Lin tell her in a pinched and choked voice what Lin Rujing had said and done. Mother Lin looked at Lin Rujing for a long moment and then brushed a heavy hand over Lin Rujing's head as if to gruffly tell her 'well done'. She didn't say anything. Only carried the bowls out.
Later, before it was fully dark, Lin Rujing was taken to the outhouse one more time. This time, she knew what leaves to use to wash her hands and where to get the water from, taking care to water the vegetable garden with it as she did. From inside the house, she saw Mother Lin carry out a porcelain pot and empty it into the outhouse before scrubbing it clean with a bunch of weeds and water.
When night fell, the whole family were gathered onto the big kang bed. Against the far wall was her second brother and his wife. Then Third Brother, her father, her mother and then her. On the very edge of the kang was her widowed eldest sister-in-law. Who kicked her when she got into bed only to be scowled at by Mother Lin. With a humph, the eldest sister-in-law lay down with her back to Mother Lin who held her in her arms, despite her claims that she didn't want or like Lin Rujing.
Lin Rujing was not used to this cramped and crowded way of sleeping. Nor did she quite understand why her mother held her so tightly until partway through the night, the eldest sister-in-law kicked and whacked her as she tossed and turned.
If Mother Lin was woken by the blow, she would smack the eldest sister-in-law back and tuck Lin Rujing further into her arms, which would lead to Father Lin pulling both of them closer into his embrace.
In the morning, the family all got up one by one before the roosters had even begun to crow and the sun had not even come up yet. Eventually, only Lin Rujing was left with Father Lin again. She looked at him and hesitated as to whether she was meant to get up as well or not. Nobody had told her.
"Lie back down and sleep a bit more," Father Lin told her, tucking her back in. "You weren't well yesterday. Have a good rest today as well. If you feel well tomorrow, then you can get up and go with your mother and Third Brother to the market again."
Lin Rujing hesitated and then nodded, managing to drift off before being woken by her parents for breakfast. It was more scratchy porridge. She made a face when her parents weren't looking. This time, her father guarded his bowl and refused to allow her to give him any more, watching her to make sure she finished all her food.
After eating, he allowed her to wander around the house and yard but not leave home. Every now and then, he would call her to come back, as if to check and make sure she was still there and hadn't been snatched out of the yard.