The first thing that should have told me this wasn't my room was the curtains.
I didn't have the luxury to ever have curtains of any kind in my room it was half torn up window blinds or nothing most of the time.
The second thing is that this bed was far too big to be my full sized bed. It was King sized at least with comfortable sheets and a mattress that felt like it should be illegal to get out of.
"What the…" I mumbled, pushing up to my elbows and yawning as I tried to chase away the last bit of sleepiness. The room came into focus slowly, there were cream walls with minimalist furniture and a desk with a sick gaming setup tucked neatly into the corner.
This was not my room, not even close.
I patted around for my phone but couldn't find it anywhere. Damn, had I gone drinking last night or something? My brain scrambled for any semblance of memory but it was all just a fuzzy static.
Ding.
A notification sounded from somewhere but with my skull currently feeling like it just got split open it was pretty low on my priority list.
"Water," I croaked while swinging my legs off the bed, My feet hit plush carpet instead of the chicken scratch carpet I was used to. I stood up shakily, nearly tripping at the unfamiliarity of my long legs.
Why was I so tall?
The door felt like it was a million miles away as I shuffled to it. I grabbed the handle and pulled it open to reveal a hallway that looked like it belonged on Architectural Digest. There were hardwood floors that gleamed under the recessed lighting with paintings that hung the walls and sculptures that filled up the empty void. Some of them looked like superheroes wearing capes.
Huh, must be big Marvel fans.
Another door stood slightly ajar down the hall and I went towards it. Hopefully the bathroom is here.
I opened the door and the bedroom was thankfully unoccupied but obviously belonged to a girl. The walls were a soft purple and there was a vanity with makeup scattered across it. Posters of what I could only describe as a KPOP group who had a super hero aesthetic filled the walls as well.
"Okay, wrong room. Wait… a girls room?"
I rubbed my eyes and looked again. Yeah, it was still a girl's room.
"Holy shit," I whispered. "Did I end up at a sorority house? Did I actually lose my virginity my first semester?" I grinned despite the headache. "Fucking champion move! But why can't I remember any of it?"
The next door revealed what looked like an office. Expensive furniture, shelves of books, framed certificates on the walls. I closed it quickly.
Door number three: a linen closet packed with towels.
Fourth door: finally, a bathroom. Massive, marble-countered, with a shower that could fit five people. I staggered to the sink, twisted the fancy faucet, and splashed cold water on my face repeatedly.
The shock of it helped clear my head a little. I took a deep breath and looked up at the mirror.
A stranger stared back at me.
"WHAT THE HELL?!"
I clapped a hand over my mouth before slowly lowering it, watching the reflection do the exact same thing. The face in the mirror looked nothing like the me I remembered. This guy was tall and skinny with sharp cheek bones and dirty blonde hair. Amber eyes—who the hell has amber eyes?—stared back at me, wide with shock.
"Who the fuck are you?" I whispered, watching the stranger's lips move in perfect sync.
I touched my face and the skin felt real underneath my fingertips. I pulled at my cheeks and stuck out my tongue watching the mirror do the exact same movements.
"This is a dream," I decided. "A very weird, detailed dream. I'm going to wake up in my dorm room with a hangover any second now."
Ding.
That notification again. This time, something flashed across my vision like a heads-up display in a video game. Text floated in the air:
[SCUMBAG SYSTEM: Welcome, Host. System initialization complete.]
I blinked hard, but the text remained.
[SCUMBAG SYSTEM: Memory integration beginning. Please stand by.]
"What the actual—"
My head felt like it was exploding with the influx of information entering my brain. Names, places, years of memories that I now currently have ownership of in someway. I was the ward of Diane Fitzgerald and the unmarked son of dead heroes.
I was Lukas Belmont.
I gripped the counter as the bathroom spun around me with these foreign memories flooded my brain. He was in a city called Verano aspiring for a school named Halloran Academy. The society was filled with people that had superpowers called Aspects that were registered with something called the IHL.
And there was me, Lukas Belmont who had no powers at all.
"Holy shit this can not be happening," I whispered, but even as the words slipped out of my mouth I knew it was real.
Somehow, I had woken up in someone else's body, in a world where superheroes were real and licensed and ranked.
[SCUMBAG SYSTEM: Memory integration complete. Host identity: Lukas Belmont. Status: Unmarked. Current mission: None.]
"Mission? What mission?"
[SCUMBAG SYSTEM: Mission queue empty. Processing...]
The text hovered for a moment, then changed:
[SCUMBAG SYSTEM: New Main Quest unavailable.]
"Alright then."
I looked back in the mirror to see the stranger, well, myself now. Lukas wasn't bad looking at all he just looked tired. Those amber eyes of his carry so much weight and now they carried mine too.
I splashed some more water on my face and then grabbed the softest hand towel I'd ever had to dry off. Okay, time to get my bearings and figure out who Lukas Belmont truly was.
I headed back to what I now understood was Lukas's bedroom, my bare feet silent on the hardwood. As I walked, another notification pinged:
[ORACLE FEED ACTIVATED]
[Current threat assessment: None]
[Local points of interest: Kitchen (occupied) - Sloane Fitzgerald present]
Text appeared in my peripheral vision, listing information about the house layout and current occupants. Apparently, part of this "system" was an awareness feed that told me where people were and what they were doing.
"That's not creepy at all," I muttered, pushing open the door to Lukas's room.
Inside, I found the closet and pulled it open. Rows of clothes hung neatly—expensive-looking but understated. I grabbed jeans and a dark hoodie, both of which fit perfectly. Of course they did. This was supposedly my body now.
As I dressed, I caught sight of a photo on the nightstand. A man and woman in colorful uniforms smiling proudly at the camera.
Lukas's parents.
Damn, this kid had lost his parents and now it seems like I took over his life. That's rough buddy.
I picked up the photo to study the faces of Varen and Reina Belmont. Heroes who died saving civilians.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, though I wasn't sure if I was apologizing to them or to Lukas himself.
I set the photo down and headed for the door. Time to face whatever this world had in store for me.
As I stepped into the hallway, another notification flashed:
[ORACLE FEED UPDATE]
[Subject: Sloane Fitzgerald]
[Location: Kitchen]
[Status: Irritated]
[Temptation Gauge: 22%]
"Temptation gauge?" I whispered. "What the hell is a—"
[SCUMBAG SYSTEM: The Temptation Gauge measures a woman's attraction level to the host. Current subject: Sloane Fitzgerald. Current level: Curious (22%)]
I stopped dead in the hallway. "You're telling me this system tracks how much women want to sleep with me?"
[SCUMBAG SYSTEM: Affirmative. Temptation Gauges generate System Points when increased. System Points purchase Gacha pulls. Gacha pulls award abilities.]
"So, a dating sim's reward loop bolted onto a gacha mechanic," I said to the empty hall. "All set in a superhero world where main only path to power is getting women hot enough to fund my slot machine pulls. Fantastic."
[SCUMBAG SYSTEM: Correction: The system awards real abilities through the Gacha. Abilities are not detectable by conventional Aspect scans.]
I leaned against the wall, trying to process this. "So I can get powers, but nobody will know I have them because I'm registered as Unmarked?"
[SCUMBAG SYSTEM: Correct.]
"And I get these powers by..."
[SCUMBAG SYSTEM: System Points are generated through relationship progression. Temptation Gauges track progress. Missions accelerate progression.]
I pushed off from the wall, shaking my head. "This is insane. I'm stuck in someone else's body, with a system that wants me to seduce women for gacha pulls, in a world with actual superheroes."
[SCUMBAG SYSTEM: Assessment accurate.]
"At least you're honest," I muttered, continuing down the hallway toward where the Oracle Feed said the kitchen was.
...
I made my way into the kitchen and immediately got blessed with a beautiful sight.
Sloane Fitzgerald stood at the fridge with her back to me, bent forward slightly as she rummaged through the refrigerator. She was wearing a black sports bra and booty shorts that showed off her peach shaped ass. Her pink ponytail swung as she moved with loose stands falling around her face.
Fuck, those thighs could crush watermelons.
Her ass was… exceptional. It was round and firm, but it still jiggled a little when she shook her left foot on the ground. The scene was so hypnotic I was frozen in the doorway like an absolute idiot.
Don't stare. Don't be that guy. You're better than this.
I wasn't better than this.
[ORACLE FEED UPDATE]
[Subject: Sloane Fitzgerald]
[Status: Searching for post-workout protein shake]
[Current attire: Minimal]
[Threat assessment: High if she catches you staring]
[Temptation Gauge: 22%]
Thanks for nothing, creepy interface.
Then another notification blazed across my vision, this one different. Bright red text with an obnoxious little peach emoji next to it.
[🎯 NEW SCUMBAG QUEST ISSUED! 🎯]
[HEROINE CANDIDATE DETECTED: Sloane Fitzgerald]
[QUEST: Get That Peach! 🍑]
[OBJECTIVE: Smack Sloane Fitzgerald's ass within 36 hours]
[REWARD: Beginner's Gift Pack + 500 System Points]
[FAILURE PENALTY: Host's manhood reduced by 50%]
[TIME LIMIT: 36:00:00]
I blinked. Read it again. Then read it a third time because surely I was hallucinating.
"What the actual fuck," I whispered.
Sloane straightened up, still facing away from me. "Did you say something?"
"Nope."
She pulled out a protein shake an kicked the door closed with her heel.
Are we deadass? I have to smack her ass or my dick is gonna shrivel like a grape in the sun? Even a titan would become average with that penalty.
[SCUMBAG SYSTEM: Quest refusal will result in automatic penalty acceptance. Timer has begun.]
"No no no," I muttered under my breath. "I refuse. This is insane. You can't just—"
[⚠️ WARNING: Refusal detected. Penalty will be applied in 5 seconds unless quest is accepted.]
[5...]
[4...]
My hands clenched into fists. This fucking system.
[3...]
'Fine! Fine, I accept! Jesus Christ!'
[2...]
[QUEST ACCEPTED]
[Good luck, Host. You'll need it. 😊]
Okay, whoever created this system deserved to get punched in the balls multiple times.
Sloane finally turned around, sipping on her protein shake and her blue eyes narrowed when she saw me just standing in the doorway just staring at her like some creep. "How long have you been standing there?"
"I just walked in a second ago."
"Bullshit." She took another sip of her drink. "I could feel you standing there and staring at my ass like a pervert."
Her sports bra was black with a logo I didn't recognize and had the midriff exposed showing off her abs with a thin sheen of sweat covering her skin, giving her body a glow with the morning light streaming through the kitchen windows.
The booty shorts from the front showed off her thigh gap which I didn't know if that was better or worse than the view from behind.
"Hey, I wasn't staring," I said while walking past her to the coffee maker. "You just happened to be in my way to get to the coffee maker."
"So you just waited your turn while staring at my ass."
I grabbed a mug from the cabinet using Lukas's memories to lead me to the location without needing to search. Damn, muscle memory was a hell of a thing. "Now why would I stare at your ass?"
"Because you're a guy and it's there. Don't play innocent, I know I look good."
She's got a point.
I poured in coffee from a pot that someone had already made. "Narcissist much? Maybe I was just spacing out."
"Spacing out while staring directly at my ass."
"I wasn't staring at your ass, Sloane."
"Then what were you staring at?"
The quest timer in the corner of my vision ticked down. 35:58:43. 35:58:42.
I took a sip of coffee. Black, because adding cream seemed like too much effort and Lukas apparently drank it this way. "Nothing. I was thinking about other stuff."
"What stuff?"
"None of your business stuff."
She moved closer, setting her shake down on the counter with a thunk. "You're acting weird."
"I'm always like this."
"No, you're not." She crossed her arms under her chest, which made her modest sized breasts look even bigger. "Normally you'd have made some smartass comment by now. Instead you're just standing there looking like someone hit you with a brick."
[Subject: Sloane Fitzgerald]
[Suspicion level: Elevated]
[Recommended action: Deflect with characteristic sarcasm]
"Maybe I'm becoming a better person. Less smartass, more class."
"You don't have class."
"I have some class."
"You wear the same hoodie four days in a row."
"I have four identical hoodies."
She snorted at that and finally some of the suspicion in her eyes faded away. Good, the last thing I needed was her to be wary of me.
The quest notification pulsed again, reminding me of its existence like I could somehow forget.
36 hours to smack that ass or lose half my dick.
This was the worst isekai premise in history.
...
"Mom's already on a plane to New York," Sloane said, breaking the silence. "She said she would be back in a week."
"Cool."
"Are you going to make something or just stand there drinking coffee?"
"Coffee is breakfast."
"Coffee isn't good enough for breakfast dumbass. You're not an old man."
I Shrugged. "Diane has coffee for breakfast all the time."
"Diane is an old woman, they live by different rules."
"She isn't—" I started automatically until I realized Lukas didn't know hold old Diane really was. Apparently it had been a joke between the three of them to try to find out how old their mother really was.
Sloane's lips curved into a smirk. "According to what I found, she is anywhere from thirty-eight to fifty-seven."
"Wow. glad you narrowed it down so much. Your deductive skills are scary Sloane."
"Tch, shut up."
I took another sip of coffee and watched Sloane over the rim of my mug. Sloane went back to drinking her protein shake. The Temptation Gauge in the corner of my vision was still at 22 percent.
All that means is I had 34 hours to raise that number up and complete a quest that would get me badly wounded if I actually attempted it.
Thanks for the quest system, really feeling like a golden middle finger right now.
"Quit staring at me weirdo." Sloane said without looking at him.
"I'm just thinking."
"About what?"
"If I want to make some toast and jelly to go with my coffee."
"Even an idiot could see you aren't thinking about that."
No shit! I'm thinking about how I can complete this mission to smack your ass and keep my manhood!
I finished my coffee and cleaned the mug in the sink. "Well, I'm going back to my room now."
"Why? You just got here."
"Yeah and now I'm leaving."
Sloane pushed off the counter and i tried my hardest to not notice how it made her breast jiggle. Task failed spectacularly. "You're being weird today," she repeated and stepped closer to me. "What's the matter with you?"
"I feel fantastic."
"Bullshit." Sloane was close enough that I could smell the citrus body spray she used after completing her workouts and see her full luscious lips. "You've been off since you came here and spent your time staring at my ass. You had a nightmare or something?"
The concern in her voice under the insults caught me off guard. She actually seemed really worried about me.
Well, about Lukas.
I mean they did live together for nine years and she had a front row seat in seeing Lukas grow from a traumatized eight-year-old into… well whatever her opinion was of Lukas before he took over.
"I didn't stare at your ass and I'm fine, just a little tired."
"You went to bed early last night though."
"Yeah, had a rough night of sleep."
Sloane studied my face with those beautiful blue eyes of hers searching for something. "You'd let me know if something was wrong, right?"
Shit, would Lukas tell her? Judging from his memories he seems like the type to keep his emotions close to his chest in order to not be a burden to anyone.
"Sure," I lied.
"Liar."
She reached up and flicked my forehead hard enough to sting. "You're an idiot, you know that?"
"Ow!! What was that for?"
"For being weird and not explaining why." She stepped back, grabbing her shake. "I'm going to shower. Try not to be such a weirdo when I get back."
She walked past me toward the doorway, and the quest timer pulsed again.
35:45:12.
My hand twitched.
The system really wanted me to do this right now with her back turned to me and her juicy ass right there for a smacking.
Absolutely not.
[ORACLE FEED UPDATE]
[Optimal completion window detected]
[Subject is distracted]
[Success probability: 78%]
[Consequence probability: 94%]
That consequence probability seemed more relevant than the success rate.
Sloane paused in the doorway, looking back over her shoulder. "What?"
"Nothing."
"You're staring again."
"I'm not staring."
"You're literally staring right now."
She was right, I was staring directly at her ass.
This was bad.
"Just admiring the scenery," I said before my brain could stop my mouth.
Her eyes went wide. "What did you just say?"
Oh. Oh no. That came out wrong. Very wrong.
"The kitchen," I clarified quickly. "The kitchen scenery. Nice counters. Good lighting."
"You weren't looking at the counters, Lukas."
"The floor then. Great tiles."
"Try again."
It felt like the temperature in the kitchen dropped about fifteen degrees despite being at 72 degrees. Sloane fully turned around, planting her hands on her hips.
"Elaborate about what you meant by that." Her voice had gone lower.
Lukas had heard that tone before. It usually came right before Sloane either literally or figuratively exploded at someone depending on how much they pissed her off.
"I didn't mean anything by it." I said carefully. "It was just a quote I found on the internet and repeated without thinking."
"You don't say things without thinking, dumbass. You never have."
"Maybe this is character growth for me."
"Growing into a pervert?"
"I'm not a pervert."
"Then why are you staring at my ass like one!?"
35:43:55.
"I've already said I wasn't staring at your ass!" I replied, matching her energy.
"And I'm saying you're full of shit!"
"Maybe stop being so self-conscious!"
"I'M NOT SELF-CONSCIOUS!" She gestured wildly at herself. "I LOOK LIKE THIS! Why would I be self-conscious?"
Valid point. Very valid point.
"Then why would you be mad if I was looking?"
"Because you can't be!"
"…why not?"
"BECAUSE!" Sloane's face went red with embarrassment. "Because we live together and you're supposed to be… to be…"
Sloane didn't finish that sentence and the red in her face spread down the neck.
The Temptation Gauge increased to 23 percent.
[ORACLE FEED UPDATE]
[Subject emotional state: Flustered]
[Recommended action: Press advantage]
"What am I not supposed to be, Sloane?"
"Nothing!" Sloane spun around. "Forget it! You're being so weird right now!"
She stormed out of the kitchen, and I heard her footsteps thunder up the stairs.
A door slammed somewhere above me.
[SCUMBAG SYSTEM: Congratulations! Temptation Gauge increased by 1%. Current progress: 23%]
"That's what you're focused on?" I muttered. "Not the fact that she almost blew up the kitchen?"
[SCUMBAG SYSTEM: Emotional volatility indicates successful engagement with target. Continue this approach for optimal results.]
"Optimal results being me getting murdered before the 36 hours run out?"
[SCUMBAG SYSTEM: Death is not listed as a quest failure condition. You'll be fine.]
So Sloane in the span of a few minutes went from suspicious to angry to finally being flustered.
And her temptation towards him increased.
So that's what the system considers a success… interesting.
I decided to head back to my room with the only sound being my footsteps and the sound of a shower starting in the bathroom down the hall where Sloane was getting ready to shower.
Don't think about how she looks naked.
[ORACLE FEED UPDATE]
[Subject: Sloane Fitzgerald]
[Location: Second floor bathroom]
[Status: Showering]
"Didn't ask." I hissed at the interface.
[ORACLE FEED: Information provided proactively for host awareness.]
"Stop being so damn proactive."
I made it back to my room and shut the door, leaning against it. The quest timer glowed in the corner of my vision like a countdown to my doom.
This was fine. Everything was fine.
I was going to die.
===
[A/N:]
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